Kihyun hums a sweet little tune as he cleans up the apartment. He’s fallen behind in the past couple weeks with the housekeeping, ever since his first date with Hoseok, and he’s set this day aside to catch up. But, even though this is the first Saturday he’s spent away from Hoseok since then doesn’t mean his mind is free of the older.

This fact is easy to see from the dazed, silly smile gracing his pink lips as he works.

Minhyuk bursts into the apartment, just as energetic as ever. He runs passed the doorway to the kitchen, but then comes back into sight a second later, his chest heaving. Kihyun glances up from his diligent work with the Swiffer, raising a single brow in silent question as Minhyuk points an accusatory finger in his direction.

“ You’re going with us to karaoke tonight!” Minhyuk announces, his voice much louder than necessary. “Hoseok-hyung says that he doesn’t wanna go without you, so you’re going with us!” Kihyun shrugs before going back to his work, unaffected by his roommate’s typical theatrics. It’s almost as if he can hear Minhyuk pouting at his blasé response, and he can’t help but smirk as he turns his back to the slightly-older.

His roommate struts into the kitchen, purposefully stepping in the way of the Swiffer. Kihyun shoots him a scowl, but he doesn’t react more than that. Minhyuk goes to the fridge and opens it, pulling out a fruit juice. He hops up onto the counter as he opens it and takes a swig. Kihyun does his best to ignore him as he goes on with his work.

“You and Hoseok-hyung have been attached at the hip lately,” Minhyuk comments dryly. “What gives? Usually after you screw a guy for a while, you drop him.” Kihyun purses his lips at the other’s wording, it making him sound much crueler than he means to be.

“Not that it’s any of your business,” the shorter begins, jabbing at one particularly harder-to-reach spot in the far corner, “but we haven’t screwed yet.” Minhyuk seems to take a moment too long to process this, as the atmosphere in the room grows incredibly still. A small peace that shatters, however, at Minhyuk’s obnoxious guffaw.

“Really???” he asks disbelievingly, swinging his legs as if this is the best piece of gossip he’s heard all month. “Why not?? I mean, I know him not being a must be a turn-off for you, but—”

“Minhyuk-ah!” Kihyun snaps, eyes going wide as the tips of his ears begin to blaze a bright red. Minhyuk snickers, smirking around the mouth of his juice bottle as he quirks up a brow. He takes another swig, resolutely emptying the bottle, before going on.

“So??” he prompts, waving at his roommate. “What’s got you waiting to have your way with him?” Kihyun frowns, glancing down to the floor. He continues Swiffering around for a bit, thoughtful, and Minhyuk starts to wonder if the shorter is just ignoring his question.

“He’s just… fun to be around,” Kihyun says vaguely, offering half a shrug. Minhyuk can’t help but narrow his gaze as he watches his roommate, his brows creasing.

“You mean… you like him?” Minhyuk can’t help but ask, utterly shocked. Kihyun rolls his eyes, scoffing at his roommate’s dramatics.

“O… Of course I like him,” he says. “I wouldn’t enjoy hanging around him if I didn’t.”

“No, I mean like -like,” Minhyuk presses, hopping off the counter to hover directly over the cleaning man. “I mean like as in you like him romantically , like you actually wanna date him, have a real relationship with him. Do you??” Kihyun avoids his eyes, some weird, unnamable emotion sticking in his throat and making his heart beat a bit faster.

“Don’t be ridiculouth,” Kihyun defends, absolutely refusing to meet Minhyuk’s eyes. His palms begin to sweat, a sure sign he’s lying. But… is it a lie?? He’s never thought about it, he only has been going through the motions with Hoseok, hasn’t he? Sure, they hang out a lot, and he had to practically force himself to not go to surprise Hoseok at work today, thereby ruining their short-lived break from each other.

He pictures Hoseok’s smile, his laugh, how warm such pure, joyous sounds make his heart. He gulps thickly, gripping the handle of the Swiffer so tight his knuckles turn white. Sweat begins to bead at his temples, and his breaths start to come out shorter. He doesn’t know why he’s reacting like this at the notion of liking Hoseok, actually liking Hoseok.

But… then again, that giddy sort-of warmth that only ever enters his being when he’s close to the older does remind him of a certain ex… The way Hoseok holds him with his strong arms, keeps him close to his side and can appease his nagging so easily…

“Ki…?” Minhyuk asks, breaking Kihyun out of his silent reverie. He blinks, the distant light in his eyes turning more grounded as he meets his roommate’s eyes. “You okay?” Minhyuk seems worried, and Kihyun wonders just how long he’d been stuck in his own head.

“I’m not feeling well,” he says roughly, swallowing around the lump in his throat. He walks to the trash can with knocking knees, his breathing oddly labored at the simple action. He unclips the wet cloth and drops it into the can, setting the Swiffer against the wall beside it. “I don’t think I should go out tonight,” he continues to say, chewing on the inside of his cheek. He keeps his head down as he turns and mutters a small apology as he leaves the kitchen.

Minhyuk pouts after him, having half a mind to ask him what’s really wrong. He doesn’t believe Kihyun feeling unwell for an instant, since he’d been in such a good mood when he’d come home… Why, then, at the questions about Hoseok did Kihyun just get so antsy and anxious…?

The taller huffs out a breath, pulling his phone out to text Hyunwoo about the conversation. He feels like he’s just messed something up, but it isn’t like Kihyun to just let Minhyuk screw up everything without pointing it out… And, if Kihyun isn’t going to explain it, he’s left with no other choice than to ask his boyfriend.

Kihyun lies down on his bed after shutting his door, folding his hands over his stomach and staring up at the ceiling with an unblinking gaze. Memories swim up from the corners of his mind, memories of the first man he had ever really cared about… and how that had blown up in his face entirely. It was then he’d decided just sleeping around was easier. It was cleaner with no emotions attached, and he wasn’t pent-up with frustrations.

But… has he himself forgotten just what that man had taught him? That valuable lesson about not letting people in, or else be doomed to be broken and disappointed in the end? Apparently, with Hoseok, he has…

Kihyun turns on his side with a sigh, kneading his lower lip between his teeth.

He knows what he needs to do, what he needs to do as soon as possible. Or else he’ll be the broken one again...