hints and signals. i kept on giving them but no one seems to catch one.

"help. i need help." i whispered with no strength left in me. i'm tired of fighting and feeling these emotions. there are no days where i'm purely happy these days. it's just a cycle of being happy and then sad.

just a simple, "you're gonna be okay." and "you'll be fine." can calm me down but no one were able to offer me such words when i need it the most.

i can feel these feelings eating me, making it hard for me to breathe.

inhale. exhale. calm down. it's gonna pass. i told myself but why is it getting worse?

breathing is painful nowadays but no, i'm gonna push all these bad thought away. how bad of me if i tell the people around me to not do 'that' and yet i'm having these thoughts.

i wanna hurt myself but i don't wanna hurt the people around me.

i hope that this will pass soon and the days that are yet to come will be better.