"I have cancer."

 

Suddenly it's quiet. It seems everything around them stop moving. There is no other sound. The only thing Wonwoo could hear is the echo of Mingyu's voice in his head.

 

Wonwoo did not lift up his head. They are in the kitchen. He keeps his gaze on the groceries they just bought. It's their weekly duty, buying some groceries along with other stuff they need in their tiny apartment. Nothing changed much.

 

Sometimes Wonwoo would go alone if Mingyu had to attend some emergency meeting, and sometimes it would be Mingyu going alone to the mart when he accidently made Wonwoo upset. Mingyu will be buying groceries along with some childish card in hoping for Wonwoo to forgive him but end up getting hit on the face with that card.

 

However, in the end, it is still worth it because Wonwoo will always kiss him again. Of course with the promise to always inform Wonwoo whenever he comes home late from work because that's what made Wonwoo upset at him on the first place. Sometimes Mingyu can't help it when his work is too much and it requires high focus that he tends to forget that a special someone is waiting at home. The thought of Wonwoo being worried about him makes him feel guilty yet warm at the same time.

 

It's simple. It's something they had done for the past three years. They should do it for another 30 years, 40 years, and 50 years more.

 

Actually..Screw that.

 

They are supposed to do this simple grocery shopping forever. Isn't that what the rings on their fingers indicate?

 

Forever.

 

However, as simple as it sounds, deep inside Wonwoo knows nothing is forever. Especially nice things. Nice things don't last forever. This is not some cliché Disney movie where the good defeat the evil and the characters live happily ever after. This is real life where the good is always defeated and the evil getting powerful each day. Stop being brainwash that if we lived as a good human being, we will be granted a good happy life.

 

Because Wonwoo had lived being a good person. He is not rude to people. He respects others. He is polite. He mind his own business and always ready to help those in need. His grade is always above the average. He is good to his parents. He is good to his friends. He is good to Mingyu. Is that not good enough? Why can't he have his cliché happy ending?

 

Finally Wonwoo lifts up his face and focuses his gaze on Mingyu.

 

"You're kidding, right?"  Wonwoo asked, smiling at Mingyu. Wonwoo doesn't recognize his own voice.

 

It sounds so....fake.

 

Mingyu is silenced. Wonwoo hates the silence. He hates the look on Mingyu's face right now.  He hates the fact that he knows the answer even before Mingyu says it.

 

"I'm already on the third stage Wonwoo."

 

Wonwoo stares at Mingyu.

 

Mingyu is not allowed to let that wounded words out from his mouth.

Mingyu is not allowed to have this defeated look on his face.

Mingyu is not allowed to have this empty look in his eyes.

Mingyu is not allowed to slump his shoulders like he has given up on life.

 

Most of all, Mingyu is not allowed to leave Wonwoo heartbroken like this.

 

It's unfair. Everything is unfair.

 

Those mischievous glints in his eyes.

Those cheeky grin on his lips.

Those lively expressions.

It suits Mingyu the most.                

 

Mingyu needs that. Wonwoo needs that.

 

"I don't love you anymore."

"I think I need a break from us."

"I don't think I can continue our relationship anymore."

"I found someone better."

 

Those words are hurtful. If Mingyu said those things it will pierce through Wonwoo's heart and it will bleed for a long time. However, those things will heal, even if it takes time because Wonwoo has a reason to hate Mingyu.

 

…but this…

 

"I have cancer."

 

Those three words.

 

Just like how "I love you" could change someone's world, so do these three words.

 

Those three words had changed their world. Wonwoo can already predict the future. Wonwoo will have to watch Mingyu being in pain and agony and there is nothing Wonwoo could do to lessen it. Can words of support lessen it? He doubts it.

 

He knows he will be in pain too because after all, what hurts the most than watching your loved one in pain? 

 

Wonwoo knows he is always a pessimistic. If Mingyu end up being taken away from him, then how will Wonwoo survive?

 

How does he move on when there is nothing to hate about Mingyu?

 

After denial, there will always anger.

 

Wonwoo is convincing himself that he is not angry but the hot tears say otherwise. Wonwoo laughed. He laughed until his shoulder shaking. He ignored Mingyu's soft plea of his name.

 

Now he changed his mind.  He blamed the person that created the stupid term "Nothing is forever." That person must have been such a naive.

 

 

Of course there is forever.

 

 

Wonwoo will be forever in pain without Mingyu.

 

 

THE END

 

 

 

AUTHOR’S NOTE: Why am I like this? Why am I always negative? This situation scares me so much and I cried myself to sleep last night thinking about the possibility it happens in real life and I don’t even have a partner. Because really nice things don’t stay for long.

Thank you for reading my ty words vomit. I just need to get this out of my head and sleep peacefully tonight (hopefully).