It’s was early in the morning. I was outside, in the terrace, looking at the rising sun. Nervously smoking. Continuously checking my phone. Then the screen lit up, a message had arrived. I smiled at the showing notification. After a night in which I couldn’t rest well, with too many bad thoughts filling my mind, I finally relaxed. I shivered for the cold. I craved for affection and warm, I needed Jiyong.

We had been hugging each other through all the night, lying on our bed. His head resting on my chest and my arms pressing his body close. When I sensed his sobbing resounding in the dark of our room, I had tried to comfort him caressing his shoulders with my thumbs.

"So, what are you planning to do?" Jiyong had suddenly talked between his cry, trying to hold back his tears. After I had heard that my face had darkened and silence had fallen in the room. "My mother can’t accept me being gay...I’m his only son and I don't want to see her suffering." I had difficultly said since tears had started to form in my eyes as well. 

"That means you want to break up with me?" he had cautiously asked. I could sense his fear in his voice. I had deeply breathed and then "I don’t want to leave you, but…When I saw my mom crying, I felt that I’m being useless, it was the first time I have ever seen her crying so badly." I had answered him. Now, I had already begun to cry.

"Maybe we should just break up, I don’t want to put you in such a difficult situation." He had said, hugging me more tightly and hiding his upset face on my chest. So I had passed my fingers trough his soft hair thinking of an answer.

"Ca