”i look at the clock as it strikes. tic toc, tic toc. it never stops, until it’s battery is worn out. but still, time never really stops. i sigh, because i am the same. my body - it never stops, even if i run out of batteries. my blood still flows, my brains still work, my heart still pumps. it goes tic toc, tic toc, the power never ends. i am free to do anything i want because why not, really? if it never ends, why must i try to end it?

i never really introduced myself, so hello. my name is lee jihoon. long story short, i like to kill people. i like to tear their flesh apart as they scream at me to stop, as they beg at me to go away. but i never go. i always stay until the very last bit of everything. i don’t really know why i do it. i guess that i just like it. i like to cover up my own suffering with the fact that others suffer too. when i can’t kill myself, i kill them - easy as that. i don’t know if it brings me satisfaction or not, i never really do, but as long as i have something other to do rather than just hurting myself, i’ll continue doing it.

scars cover my body. scars from fights, from the people i have killed, from myself. i don’t even really remember where i have gotten most of my scars - i just have them. i don’t mostly mind them, i wear a lot of longsleeves after all, but when i happen to wear shorter sleeved shirts and expose them - that’s when i get the most of the stares. i understand them. i shouldn’t have them. i should be scarless, a pure boy without any mistakes. but i make a lot of mistakes, i can’t help it. 

i don’t love, at least that’s what i believe. i simply go to hell and back, trying to survive on my own. i don’t need someone to complete me - i can complete myself by myself. i don’t need someone to tell me they love me, i don’t need anyone telling me they love me. if i don’t love, i won’t cry. if i cry, i am weak. i am in no way weak, i must show others how powerful i am.

i quietly laugh by myself. i sound like such a maniac. i am a maniac.

i live, i laugh, i cry, i die. if i do anything wrong, it speeds the process. i am fine, i believe.”

my newest seventeen fic is here! i haven’t written much for it yet, so sorry for slow updates! i hope you enjoy <3