Sooyoung stared intently at her phone screen as she watched him win his 4th music chart win of the week. She smiled at the way he stared deeply into the camera as if he was staring at her during the chorus of 'Missing You'. The navy suit looked good on him as always, but she liked the green better. 

She wouldn't let herself think too much about the meanings behind his songs. She didn't want to let herself hope that he was talking about her. That he was missing her as much as she missed him or worst he let go. But she couldn't help herself anymore than she could resist listening to his songs . She couldn't help but hope he read in between the bold statements she said about the nature of their relationship for Oppa's Thinking.  

Only in the comfort of her room where only the moonlight and her phone radiated light she indulged herself to hope. She could dream that he indeed missed her. He was singing about her.

She tossed in her bed to lie on her belly and flipped her phone faced down. Putting her face into her pillow she sighed deeply trying to get a hold of herself. She didn't like how this latest comeback  was affecting her. She remembered how he when he asked if she  would cry whenever he had a comeback. Luckily they haven't had overlapping promoting schedules or his statement would have been true. If she had to hear him sing it live she knew her heart would only break just that much more. 

'Come on Park Sooyoung. Get a grip,' She mentally told herself as she lifted her face off her pillow. When suddenly a vibration emanated from her phone.  Sooyoung flipped her phone over to see an unknown number  calling her that she didn't recognize. Looking into the corner of her lock screen she saw it showed her it was one in the morning. Against her better judgement and company protocol she on a whim took the call.

"Yoboseyo," Sooyoung answered as she placed the phone to her ear. She could hear loud chatter and laughing in the background at first before it went almost completely quiet. She could hear the passing of a car. Her hands gripped the phone tighter but she didn't hang up. 

"Sooyoung," a gruff voice responded back. It was like the person on the line was losing his voice but she knew instinctively who it was.

"Oppa," she gently said with a small sigh as her eyes fluttered closed. Why was he calling her this late at night? How did he get her number ?  She missed his voice and talking to him so directly. 

He was silent on the line besides the sound of his breathing. Sooyoung trailed, "Sungjae oppa..."

"Did you cry," he asked.

At first confused she understood what he was referring to. She paused debating what to answer. 

"No," she lied. She heard him chuckle which made her frown. She knew he would find her answer amusing as he teased that she would cry at one of his comebacks.

"You were always the strong one Sooyoung. Want to know a secret," he asked. 

Not waiting for her answer he went on, "Hyung decided I would be perfect for the chorus since I am good at conveying the pain of lost 'love'," Sungjae slurred followed by another chuckle. 

Sooyoung frowned hurt by his sentence. Even though what they had was fake and for TV, she believed he knew how she felt.  It was unspoken but she was sure he was keenly aware of her feelings and she knew they were not returned. She was not very good at hiding her infatuation with him on or off camera, despite her last defense that she tried really hard to be his type and that wasn't her. That was a lie. It was in fact all too real for her and she thought he knew that. He was usually very kind to not hurt or lead her on. They parted from the show amicably and supported one another from a safe distant. This call was becoming hurtful which was unlike him. She could also tell he was drunk. The drunk video exposed her to his inability to handle his drink well. 

"I think I am going to-," she started but Sungjae cut her off. 

"Just like what the producer of my other song 'Tell Me', recommended I sing about. " he continued ignoring her last comment. The soju was making him bold. "But do it right every single time for that song and now our new song I have dig deep to sing the chorus. I mean I know I can do it and I will do it for my hyungs but do you know how much that hurts Sooyoung," he posited to her as he guffawed at his own statement. 

Not knowing how to react and shocked Sooyoung stayed silent on the line while she could feel the tears build in her eyes. She didn't know what he was talking about.   His tirade continued. 

"I imagine you might not since most of your songs are about the joys of a crush or a first love. You may not go that far to portray that. But to be raw on the inside every time so I can simultaneously  perform ," he sighed.

Silence took over them again before he spoke again. 

"I guess I just need to get this off my chest," he trailed off. She didn't know what to think anymore. Before she could think she heard shuffling in the background. 

"I was missing you and another day passed
I was missing you and another year passed
This is how I live
As I long for you, long for you," Sungjae sang quietly. As he finished he sighed deeply. 

He went on, "I know it was a long time ago and you've grown so much. But for once I just needed you to know. I don't think I would get through  the rest of promotions if I didn't."