Jonghyun's always questioned how he could fall in love with his best friend. He always questioned how in a universe filled with 7 billion different faces, he ended up falling for the one person he probably shouldn't. Best friends are supposed to the person you're closest to. The person you share you secrets and your dreams with. They pick you up when you fall, and they wipe your tears away when you cry. They're not supposed to be the love of your life too. Or maybe they can be. But they shouldn't be.

But when Jonghyun looks to his right and sees his best friend slumped over a book, his eyelashes fluttering slowly as his eyes skim the page. Jonghyun can't question himself, the universe, or his heart. He watches quietly, a smile on his lips as he looks at his best friend or the love of his life. He doesn't know which word fits best yet. He throws them around in his mind often. What should he call him? In the end, he calls him his Jinki. 

His Jinki.

Maybe not entirely his. He has to share him with others, but in a little section of his heart, buried under many feelings, there's a place dedicated to his love for him. Maybe one day it'll burst at the seams and they won't stay locked away. A day where he can actually say everything to the one person that's responsible for how he feels. 

"Do I have something on his face?" he hears Jinki say and he's quickly shaken from his thoughts.

"No," Jonghyun tells him quickly.

Jinki squints his eyes. "Then why...?"

Jonghyun can't help but laugh at Jinki's adorable expression. Despite being a year older than him. Jinki has always been the cutest thing for Jonghyun. He still remembers when he was a new student at their school. Jonghyun loves new faces and new people so he was always the first to introduce himself to new students. He jumped at knowing there was someone new, and took him all around the school. He was ready to take him under his wing, but little did he know that Jinki was older than him. Its moment likes these that he's kind of glad he was an eager 12-year-old. Years later, even if he didn't take Jinki under his wing, he still has him by his side. 

"Admiring your beauty," Jonghyun finally tells him with a smirk.

Jinki lets out a sigh but Jonghyun doesn't miss the slightly blush come across his face. The one that always tells him despite the annoyed playful huffs, Jinki likes his compliments. Maybe under it all, he seeks them. 

After another hour of studying, they're both packing their bags. It's silent on the top floor of the library. The only things heard are the sounds coming from the zipper of their bags.

Once they're down the stairs and out of the front of the library Jonghyun finally lets out a loud yawn.

"Want some ramen?" Jinki asks him once they're across the street, heading towards their homes.

"Yeah, I'm kind of starving." Jonghyun rubs his belly.

"I'll make you some at my house, come on."

It's a short walk. They're silent almost the whole way. Its comfortable although. Neither of them ever feel the need to fill in awkward silences because there aren't any. Jonghyun read somewhere once that the best kind of relationship are the ones where even silence is comfortable. He doesn't know if that's true but he knows it feels liberating to be with someone where you don't feel the need to make sure they're okay being around you. It's best when you know they already are. Either way, even in a silent library the silence after a long session at the library is the best. Your brain can finally stop and relax.

Jonghyun and Jinki take their shoes off as they near his front door and make sure to tip toe into their kitchen. It's barely 10 at night but both of Jinki's parent have to get up at four in the morning during week days and as they once told Jonghyun, "We can't sleep like the teenagers anymore. We need to be in bed at the same time as the old folks." He remembers laughing along with Mr. Lee as he told him that, but he's right in a way. He could get a three hour rest and still function. Maybe not like he should but he'd be alright. 

"Chicken or shrimp?" Jinki pulls out two packets before him.

"Hmmm," Jonghyun taps on his chin. "Chicken please, Chef Lee."

Jinki lets out a small laugh. "I'm only good at making ramen. No way am I the best."

"You're the best at making ramen," Jonghyun corrects him. "Have a little pride in that."

"Alright, alright."

After a small wait, Jinki is pulling out chopsticks and two bowls onto the table. Jonghyun sets two tall glasses of water, while Jinki brings out a medium sized pot filled with ramen. They each take turns pouring in some into their bowls.

They eat and slurp while the watch a 2 days and 1 night episode in the background. Jonghyun is so immersed in what the cast is doing that he gets startled when Jinki starts to speak.

"We're graduating soon, Jonghyun." Jinki says softly. "It's our last few days in high school."

"We have to pass the exams first," he tries to make Jinki laugh, but he just gives Jonghyun a small smile. "Are you okay?"

"Yeah," Jinki starts and then takes a drink of his water. "Things are going to change. I mean I'm moving to Seoul. That's miles away from here, hours even."

"Right," Jonghyun nods. "Things are going to change but you're going to be great, Jinki-hyung. You've worked so hard."

"I know, I know." Jinki smiles. "I'm just scared a little, I guess. It's a big change."

"Change isn't always that bad. I mean, when you moved here that was a big change. And guess what? You got the bestest friend in the world from it," he winks. 

"I did, didn't I?" Jinki questions honestly and something catches in Jonghyun's chest. "Things won't change between us right, Jonghyun-ah? You'll always be my best friend?"

And that’s when Jonghyun realizes that Jinki's actually scared of much more than moving. He's scared of losing him. It's frightens him a bit because ever since he's known Jinki, it was Jonghyun that get scared or worried. It was him that would need the reassure. But here Jinki is asking him to remain his best friend forever. And part of him wants to scream you're so much more than that. But he can't. Maybe it's because he's a coward, or maybe it's because when he looks deep into Jinki's eyes and he sees the fear of change at this very moment that he can't even begin to try to warp their friendship into something more. 

Jonghyun drops his chopsticks into his bowl and reaches over for Jinki's hands, "I’ll always be here for you, hyung. As your best friend or in whichever way."

Jinki gives him a smile that nearly leaves him blind. And maybe that's the best he can do right now. Offer Jinki the option of everything or nothing at all. If it means having Jinki by his side for the rest of his life, he thinks he could his best friend forever.