Wake me up from this nightmare. That’s the first thought I had as soon as I saw the piercing stare of my love standing by the door, frozen, eyes fixatedly looking at me—at us—as I rushed to push away the half- body on top of me. I met her confused eyes and I badly wanted to speak but all words were left unspoken, unneeded as she turned to look behind her, seeing the same person that made my world stop in the most excruciating reason.

We’re caught.

Thrown to the deepest pit of hell.

To the sinners that we are, salvation was out of reach.

“Y-Yuna—”

But that was all that I was able to speak before the door slammed close, leaving me and my heart breaking into pieces as reality slowly pierces in my mind. I was unable to move for a moment but as soon as I was able to wrap my mind at the present I struggled to my feet and hurriedly wore back my shirt wanting to follow her and not let her leave me.

I wasn’t able to take a step away when I felt a hand holding my wrist. I looked back at the girl who just kept on staring at me, wanting to beg for her to let go but still I couldn’t speak. I have to follow Yuna, I can’t let her go.

“Don’t leave.”

She spoke weakly which squeezed my heart tightly, but still the thought of my love running away from me after witnessing my sin made it less important.

“I have to.”

~~~

A harsh slap welcomed me as soon as I entered the room. Her eyes glaring, wanting to condemn me for what I’ve committed. I placed my palm at my aching face and looked at her, my heart hurting more than what I just received from her. She’s mad at me for what I did, but I know she hates me for it was the cause for the person she loves to get hurt. But then again, she’s not in the place to judge me, not when I know that my sin was something she craves for her own.

“I told you to stop.” She said pointedly. “Eunbi, it takes a great amount of understanding on my part just to slap you once.”

“Don’t act too much of a saint, Yewon.”

Her poisonous stare returned and it was something that relieves me. It was better. It was what I deserve.

“You ruined Sojung eonni.”

“And you loved it.”

I glared back, she couldn’t hide it from me; I know that she loves how the two are in the brink of losing the relationship they’ve built for seven years. Hope was starting to creep in her and it was exhilarating for her to have even the tiniest light in her dark world.

“Is that how you love a person?”

“She wanted it too. I didn’t force her to do it with me.”

I let her use me for her to make all of her fantasy come true. I let Kim Sojung have my body, my heart, everything of me and in return of what? For a few moments to let me live a dream. Pretending the every kisses we share, that every touch of her on my skin was a form of love and not just lust.

And even when the reality that it was only me making love to her who only lusted over me, I refused to let the chance to be with her pass.

“Neither did you stop her.”

“Why won’t you just speak of truth, Yewon? You didn’t hate me for screwing around with Sojung, you just hate the fact that Yuna chose to leave with her as soon as Sojung came to take her back.”

“Don’t make me like you, Eunbi. There’s nothing going on with Yuna eonni and me.”

“Oh but we both know you wish otherwise.”

It was a real jerk move to say that, I know, especially because it was her weakest point but I was hurt and because of that I wanted to take revenge. I know it was very wrong of me, but I couldn’t help it, she kept on talking to me like I wanted to ruin Sojung. I don’t want that. I love her, but I couldn’t seem to show it in what could be good for her and Yuna.

I am selfish.

“I wonder why I still call you my best friend.”

I wonder that too. Both of us know each other the best but it wasn’t a good thing. No, it was not a good thing for both of us. We’re just bound to use everything to attack each other. Especially when it involves Sojung and Yuna.

But then again, we shouldn’t ask why. We’re the only people who would understand each other no matter how bad the situation is. She might hate me for hurting Yuna but she would never hate me for long, not when she knows exactly why the person she loves got hurt. She isn’t innocent at all. And I might hate her for loving every second of Sojung hurting after finding out that Yuna caught us, but I wouldn’t want her to be gone because of it.

Just as she said, we’re best friends, we stick together no matter what.

“Go sit at the sofa, I’ll bring you an ice pack for that. I don’t want it to swell.”

Yewon might hate me, but she still cares for me, that’s why I love her. She can be really sweet. I wonder why Yuna doesn’t fall for her. Yewon could be her perfect partner. But then again, Sojung’s her girlfriend.

~~~

I wouldn’t have gone with her if it wasn’t for the fact that we have to talk. More than being hurt and disappointed, I was furious. Sojung doesn’t cheat, well didn’t. Not once in our years of relationship does she even bats an eye to other girls, no matter how beautiful they are. So knowing that Eunbi was able to get Sojung to look at her, think of her, and especially get to her, I was manic and worried.

That’s why I went to Yewon. I have to know what Sojung’s reaction would be. Also, a huge part of me wanted to take revenge. She doesn’t say it, but I know she doesn’t like Yewon. Going straight to Yewon’s place after getting hurt was something she would never like. But, this time she has to take it. She’s at fault. She hurt me. I would never cheat on her like she did to me. I love her.

But I was selfish. Yewon, I know she’s hurting too. I want her but I love Sojung, I can’t cheat on the person I love no matter how much I know Yewon would do things to make me happy. She’s a really sweet person. If I wasn’t with Sojung, I would definitely open my heart to love her.

“Don’t leave me.”

Impossible. It’s impossible for me to leave her, even when she did something that hurt me as I am hurting now, I still couldn’t leave her.

“Don’t see her again.”

Hesitation. There’s an obvious hesitation in her eyes, and another is fear. I wanted to ask her, what makes Eunbi this special? What did Hwang Eunbi did to make a person as loyal as her cheat on me?

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