Sanghwan sighed as he couldn’t stop staring at how messy Dongcheol looked in his eyes. 

“Where are you going?” Sanghwan asked sternly. 

Dongcheol let his arm go from the strong grip as he looked at somewhere else. 

“Work,” he answered as he looked up at that face he hadn’t see in a year and half. “Work, I have to go to—” Dongcheol paused as he felt the earth moved under his feet, he leaned himself on the wall while closing his eyes and holding his face. That strong hand grabbed his arm again in a fast movement just before he fell on to the floor. 

“Dizzy?” Sanghwan asked with worried face as he bent his tall body a little just to match his eyes. 

Dongcheol nodded as he held onto the wall as much as he can because his feet started felt like jelly.

“Dongcheol-ah,” the low voice called him as an arm embraced his waist and helped him walked back to the room. He sat the shorter guy down and kneel before him.

Dongcheol opened his eyes and he could see Sanghwan stared at him with those furrowed brows and that sharp stare. 

“You’re sweating a lot,” Sanghwan said as he put his palm on the smaller guy’s forehead. “Where is it?” Sanghwan asked and Dongcheol pointed the only desk in the room, immediately understand. 

Sanghwan moved fast and he fed Dongcheol the medicine.  

“I’m fine… Sanghwan-ah, calm down…” Dongcheol said softly as he gave Sanghwan’s shoulder a weak pat. “It’s not like it’s the first time… I’m fine… I still can go to work…”. 

“No, no, stay. I call the doctor ove—“.

“Sanghwan-ah,” he called again. “I have go to work, I have go to work, please,” he said again as he tried to stand himself up.

“No, sit down, stay. Stay, Dongcheol-ah, you’re taking a day off today,” Sanghwan said sternly as he held Dongcheol’s arm still. 

“Work, father, fathe—”.

“Dongcheol-ah,” Sanghwan called. “Dongcheol-ah, I’ll pay everything, I’ll pay everything, so you just stay still,”.

Then a weak punch arrived at Sanghwan’s face. It was so weak that Sanghwan didn’t even shifted a bit. 

“I don’t need it, I don’t need it! Just get out! Just get out of my house! Now!” Dongcheol shouted with his cracked voice as he pointed at the door house. 

But he saw it, the way Sanghwan stared at him with those worried and sad and pitying eyes. He hated it. He hated it so much. 

“Get out… please…,” Dongcheol whispered as the feelings attacked him stronger and he couldn’t even put his head up nor hold back his tears. His head was so dizzy from all the shouting and his chest was hurting from the unwanted mixed feelings. 

But calmly, quietly, those arms held him close and careful. Then the shoulder was there for him to lean on. Dongcheol closed his eyes and shoved his face onto the shoulder, letting the big hand caressed the back of his head, patting his back. 

*
He was back there again, on the basement with those sick people. And for the hundreds times he turned his head and he found his father on the other side of the room, sick, afraid. The feeling was lingering and he knew Sanghwan won’t come to save him again, but this time, this time was different. Although he came to his father, crying like before but he didn’t say any word like before and just sat there, closing his eyes, crying more.

“Sanghwan-ah…” he whispered probably to himself. “Sanghwan-ah…” he whispered softly again. “Just this one last time…. Just… this one last time…, please,” he whispered again to no one particular in there. “Save me…”. 

And slowly, gently, he could feel warmth wrapped around him.

Dongcheol didn’t know when he fell asleep, but this time, when he woke up from his nightmare, two arms were wrapped round him and he opened his eyes in front of the sound of calm heartbeats. 

“Sorry…” the low voice rang just quietly. “I’m sorry,”. 

Dongcheol pushed the chest above him weakly and that hug let him go carefully. Dongcheol blinked as he looked up to the guy who was just hugging him and gave him the gentlest most painless escape from his nightmare. 

“Sa, Sanghwan-ah…” Dongcheol called the name and he saw Sanghwan nodded while smiling just slightly.

Dongcheol breathed and turned his head to his other side.

“Hi,” Junghoon waved his hand. “Still dizzy?” he asked carefully next to Manhee who just smiled sadly. 

Dongcheol sat himself up and looked around and he found out that he was still in his house.

“Woah!” Dongcheol flinched as he saw Sanghwan was actually lying on his side next to him. “You slept next to me?! Really?!” Dongcheol asked as he grabbed his blanket and covered his chest although it wasn’t like he was topless or anything. 

“He seems fine,” Sanghwan scoffed as he sat himself up. 

“Really, did you just—“. “This is embarrassing!”.

“Yah, punk, you kept calling his name while crying and trembling. You just won’t wake up when we called you. So he just,” Junghoon paused as he looked for what word was necessary and proper to describe what Sanghwan just did to him. 

“So he just laid there, calling back your name, hugging you,” Manhee said calmly. 

“Ah… I see…,” Dongcheol said softly. “Then, thank you, it’s just a bad dream, I’m fine now,” he nodded. 

Sanghwan sighed.

“It doesn’t matter,” Sanghwan said. “So, what kind of dream was it?”.

“It’s just…” Dongcheol sighed. “Just a very bad dream, but well, it’s just a dream. Maybe I just tired…. It’s fine,”.

“Why are you asking Sanghwan to save you?” Junghoon asked. “Are we there too?” he asked as he gave Manhee a glance. 

“It’s… no, it’s…” Dongcheol said softly. “The, the basement… I had a dream about the basement where I found my father. This time, this time I didn’t scream tho, I… I usually screamed but this time…”.

“Usually?” Manhee asked.

“Do you always have this same dream?” Manhee asked.

“Yeah… just… these weeks… maybe… a month already,” Dongcheol answered. 

“And you…. screamed?” Junghoon asked.

Dongcheol squinted his eyes as he stared at the floor. 

“Just… every time I had this dream, it was always the first time I saw my father, and he was like that… sick and kept on apologizing and all… and… and…” Dongcheol paused and he was starting to have heavy breathing. 

Dongcheol sighed as he held his left chest.

“And… in my dreams, Sanghwan….” he paused. “Until I died there… he...,”. “…he never come to save me,” he said again, unconsciously clutching onto his left chest even harder because it started to hurt again. “I’m, I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m just… just…” Dongcheol gulped his own saliva. “I’m not, I’m not in the right mind right now, so, so, I’m sorry for dreaming such a bad thing about my own friend, I’m sorry, Sanghwan-ah, I’m sorry”.

Manhee stopped him by hugging him so tightly because the more words Dongcheol said the tearier Dongcheol’s eyes were. And just then he was crying and clutching his own chest while apologizing for something that wasn’t his fault at all. 

“Why are you apologizing, Dongcheol-ah…” Junghoon asked as he held Dongcheol’s hand and swept away the tears that was just about to fall to his chubby cheeks. Meanwhile Sanghwan just sighed as he watched Dongcheol’s teary eyes closed as he leaned onto Manhee’s gentle hug. 

“Hey, punks, quick open the door if you want to eat!” Pilsoo hyung’s voice rang from the out side. 

“Ah, yes, hyung!” Junghoon run to open the door. 

*

That night, the three of them were sleeping over in Dongcheol’s place. That night, Dongcheol fell asleep early after laughing and doing everything so powerlessly that day. 

Sanghwan was looking around as he was the only one awake. He was reading his college book and tried to insert some new things into his head when he heard a heavy breathing and then Dongcheol shifted much in his sleeps. 

“Dongcheol-ah,” the name was like an alarm for him. Now he was wide awake and he couldn’t take his eyes off Dongcheol. He held his hand and patted his chest carefully and gently everytime Dongcheol started to anxiously shift in his sleep. he couldn’t believe how many time Dongcheol was having such a same bad dream just in a night, with everyone around and him patting him like that. He can’t imagine how Dongcheol slept when he was all alone in that small room after such a busy day without meal. No wonder Dongcheol was turning into bones after all of that. 

The words in the book were like lullaby to him. Without wanting to let Dongcheol go, he laid himself down next to Dongcheol again, still reading his book. 

After some more words, Sanghwan gave p nad he put the book down, stared blankly at Dongcheol’s sleeping face, thinking about what he can do for his bestest friend, slowly falling asleep. 

But Dongcheol kept on having bad dream over and over and Sanghwan didn’t want Dongcheol to have it by himself without any comforting if he finally fell asleep. So, he slipped his hand under Dongcheol’s head and then he rolled his arm to get Dongcheol’s head on his arm. Sleepily, holding Dongcheol close to his chest as he fell asleep. 

*

It was probably the best sleep he ever this month. Dongcheol opened his eyes early in the morning without having any unwanted feelings and sore body. But slowly, he realized a hand was playing with his hair gently and factually, the first thing he saw was a thick and firm chest moving up and down, and then that serious face with frown reading those English words on the law book. 

He sat himself up immediately. 

“Dongcheol-ah? You’re awake?” Sanghwan asked with his famous dumb smile. “Good sleep?”.

“Y, yes, yes, good sleep,” Dongcheol said softly. 

“How’s my arm? Comfortable?” Sanghwan asked as he chuckled and continued reading his book again. 

“Wh, why was i—“.

“You’re starting having a bad dream not only once, but again and again, so I was just, taking some action. Maybe you should look for a lover to hug you to sleep. you sleep soundlessly when someone hug you. Or is it because I am the one who hug you?” Sanghwan asked while laughing as he sat himself up. 

“Yah, enough. Enough,” Dongcheol hit the broad shoulder in annoyance. 

“And your hair smelled good. What shampoo did you use? I think I’m going to tell my girlfriend in the future to us—“.

“Stop it you, dumb ,” Dongcheol pointed his index finger to Sanghwan’s face, trying to hold back his ridiculed smile. 

“Ok, ok, I’m sorry,” Sanghwan laughed as he grabbed the index finger and put it down. 

Knock, knock.

Sanghwan stood up and walked to the front door. He came back with boxes of chicken.

“It’s on me, let’s eat,” sanghwan said as he sta next to him again. 

“Am, am I taking another day off today?” Dongcheol asked. 

“Can’t you? It’s not everyday that I am here, right?” Sanghwan said as he opened the boxes, let the smell filled the air and woke his chubby friends up. 

Dongcheol just nodded and he just stared when Sanghwan tidied up his bed hair gently. 

“Thank you,” Dongcheol said. 

“For what?” Sanghwan asked as he took a piece of chicken and gave it to Dongcheol. 

Dongcheol just scoffed.

“Anything,” Dongcheol answered as he stared at the chicken in his hand. “And I am sorry,” Dongcheol said.

“Stop saying sorry to me. You know I owe you my life,” Sanghwan said.

“No, forget it,” Dongcheol said calmly. “It’s been four years and half ago,”.

“And it still takes the biggest toll on you,” Sanghwan said. 

“No, no, I’m fine. I’m here and fine,” Dongcheol said. 

There was this silence when Dongcheol decided to give the chicken piece a bite. 

“Yeah, you’re,” Sanghwan said as he ruffled Dongcheol’s hair and took another piece of chicken and bit it. 

Knock, knock. 

“Open the door,” Sanghwan said and Dongcheol obliged.

Dongcheol walked to the door, opened it and basically was speechless of what he just had in his arms now. 

“Wh, what, what is this?” Dongcheol walked back with a huge teddy bear in his arms. “It’s, it’s for me, someone sent it for me,”.

And he saw Sanghwan just nodded while inhaling the chicken.

“Yah, you bought this? For me? You bought this for me?” Dongcheol asked but Sanghwan ignored him completely. “Wah… I really… stop spending your money on me like thi—”. 

“Try hugging it,”  Sanghwan said. 

“I am, I am hugging it,” Dongcheol said.

“Do you like it?” Sanghwan asked again.

“What?” Dongcheol can’t believe what he just heard.

“When you sleep, you should hug it. I think that will save you from the nightmare,” Sanghwan said. “Since I’ll not be here every night to hug you to sleep,” Sanghwan said calmly. 

Dongcheol just blinked, amazed, annoyed, grateful, surprised, in disbelief, embarrassed, (a little bit) happy. He shoved his face onto the back of the teddy’s head with red face and some kind of dizziness. 

 

***

End