So...

This not goodbye. Only for a short while. I just am so far out that I can't find anything, not even one idea, or get one. I will still come here and check, read, maybe write very little... I need a break. Hiatus to gather myself together, I have too many struggles to let alone count them. Jonghyun's suicide, it has torn me apart. I know he has become a angel, who is watching over us all. SHINee, his family and friends, Shawols. I know, and that gives me comfort. But the guilt, god, the guilt is eating me alive. For over a year now, I haven't even thought on self harming and suicide. But now... Now it's starting again, and I am just waiting for it to pass. As usual. So I'll be okay there. I have BTS, I have kpop to rely on; I have my ways to make it. I will do my best to survive this, no matter how little I want to live, how I want to end this pain in my heart, the ache in my mind, my thoughts that only dark. I might have been swallowed by my depression, that I don't even know if it is a depression.. But leave that.

I hope you understand, and that you remember that I am okay. That this goodbye is not forever, just a short while. You can contact me over other social medias if you want to talk, or need someone to talk to. Don't be scared to do it if you need it or want to just... talk.

My other social medias:

Kik: lovefor1d2000

Wattpad: rapline_micdropswag

Instagram: rapline_micdropswag

But... please understand that 'goodbye' is not really goodbye. But it means I will be gone, have a break, to gather myself up piece by piece. Get ready to say goodbye to Jonghyun, let the personal guilt fall down if it's possible (if it isn't, then there is nothing I can do), and fight my way back to just a little better stabil mental health... I love you guys, hope you understand this. I will leave this A/N is all my books, so everyone of my subscribers know this reason, this break. Thank you for supporting me all the way through this, understanding all the breaks that comes without warning. And most of all, reading my work that's crap.. Thank you, my little Yongmonsters. Thank you...

~ Sofie