“Jennie! Jennie!” I shouted her name while knocking at her door. “Alright! I’ll be there! Wait!” I heard her say then I immediately answered back. “Hurry! I have great news!” She opened the door and let me in. When I got inside, I clapped my hands while jumping like a kid who got a brand new toy.

“It’s a bit late now, unnie. What are you doing here? Why so cheerful? What’s going on?” I hugged her tight then carried her. She’s not that heavy though. “This is it! I’ll be asking her to marry me! I finally bought the perfect ring for her!” I put her down and pulled the box out of my pocket.

You see, Jennie Kim is my childhood bestfriend and we’ve been together ever since. Why didn’t we end up? I don’t really know but I am 100% sure that we both don’t like to destroy this kind of relationship that we build for so long.

Okay. Now where are we? Oh yeah.

As her bestfriend, of course I’d expect her to feel twice or thrice as happy as I am but, it wasn’t. Instead she looked confused and a bit disappointed.

“What? Are you sure, unnie? You two just got back together and your relationship’s a bit.. toxic” I almost did not respond to what she told me, so I laughed sarcastically.

“Wow straight to the point, Jennie. Thanks. Out of all the loved ones in my life! You know that you’re always the first person I ever tell such news but this is the reaction I get from you? Very supportive! Bravo!” I clapped.

“Have you lost your damn mind?! You both almost killed each other and now you’ll be asking her to marry you?! Your relationship’s not healthy, Jisoo unnie! Wake. The. . Up!” She said while almost raising her voice at me.

“Forget it! I don’t want to hear any of this! I’m leaving.”

I was about to leave when Jennie held my hand and let me faced her. “Unnie. Wait! Please don’t be mad at me. I was just really concerned about you. We both know what happened a month ago. You can’t change yourself quickly. I..” She paused a while. “I can’t lose you, unnie. You know what you did last time. It was really… terrifying. I cannot bare it whenever you’re broken, hurt, stressed out, devastated and…” We both looked at each other. “….unhealthy”

She’s right. Everything she said is true. My lover and I have an on and off relationship for almost 6 years. It all started so sweet, gentle and pure like the typical type of relationship that we all know but we aren’t perfect. All couples aren’t, right? Ours is truly a wonderful disaster. The type of love that you want to let go although you can’t since you believe that it is like your source of life despite of the bad things that it cause you. For short, the love that we have is very addicting.

“Hello? Earth to Jichu unnie? Are you still there?” I completely zoned out. I must leave here or else, ou