From Feb 24 2010 17:46 – THE REST OF MY LIFE 

There I was, lost forever, trapped and without a choice, holding my head in one hand and the ring on the other. Crying my heart out but I could not produce a sound. All hopes were lost. The tears in my face were covered by the rain drops. I was the one who always told her that I never wanted anyone to see me cry. But then now I wish she would open her eyes at least to see me cry and tell me not to cry.

Feb 24 2010 17:45 

I felt empty. I didn't have words to express myself for what I had done. She was the only one I had in my life and now I was alone. Alone once again. Yes I had told her that loneliness was something that I loved but now I felt that she could have been there with me to share the loneliness. Even my ego, my pride my aim, my achievements had left me alone. Now I know what being lonely meant. The fair face was because she was having leukemia, blood cancer. She was not able to come but still did just because I had asked her to. She had become thin not because of her gym class but because she was not well. It was weak not thin. The thud while on the call was because she had fainted. And I failed to notice that. Despite all that she had come just to make me happy and what did I do? Hurt her, irritated her, and kill her.

Feb 24 2010 15:30 

She was there, still as a rock. Alone in her home, in her bed. There was a sudden rush that fell as a heavy thud in my heart. And all the voices came rushing to me. She was gone, for good. A deadly cancer had taken her away from me. Her mom had told me it was cancer. But it was all over before it even started. Cursing myself I took out my chain which was a gift from her and placed it on her beautiful hands. Then with a hollow punch of pain I went near her ear and said “I am really sorry Mina …” and I left the place with welled up eyes and a heavy heart.

Feb 23 2010 09:44 

“That’s it I cannot take any more of your ignorance. This is no longer a relationship. It’s always about you and you just seem to be interested about yourself. It’s as if you never wanted me here. And it’s me who is always pushing things and taking initiatives to keep this relationship healthy. That’s it, I quit, FOR GOOD!!” were Mina last words. I tried to explain how it all was just a game. But she refused to accept it. She must hurting. Well even I was not crazy about myself at that point. I ran behind her and explain all about it but it didn't seem to go anywhere. I woke up with a start it was all a dream. I had to apologize to her. Be with her again. So after all that wait I started going to her house. To apologize in person. But the Ego restrained me. So I stayed.

Feb 22 2010 15:31 

It had been more than a week since I had spoken to Mina and I was starting to feel really guilty. It was not my fault but that’s not the point at all. It was a huge fight but now it’s all getting on to my head. I was stupid and I should have apologized to her but I did not. It was her mistake as well. The ego didn't let me move forward with the apology. I was an achiever up till then, that didn't let me put my foot down. But at the end no matter whose mistake it is the distance between US increases. I didn't know what would make it better. And I was torn between my feelings and my ego. Damn the ego!!

Feb 14 2010 

It was the day of roses, Valentine’s Day. I went to meet her. You know, Myoui Mina. The one and only, my beloved. I loved her so much but I felt something was wrong. I just knew it. I wanted to surprise her. I just got 100 odd candles and arranged it on the 1st floor of my house, in a small room which had lot of shelves. The candles were everywhere. And I had chosen a son