Wonho thought that he was doing fine.

It had been almost a year, it should have been enough. He hardly ever thought of Hyungwon at that point and if he did, they were just brief moments of bearable pain. He didn't dwell on the past.

But he also couldn't escape from it.

Somehow he hoped that such things wouldn't throw him off anymore, yet there he was, standing petrified, feeling like he'd just been hit by a train. In his hands he held a bunch of photos, ones he knew had been taken by Hyungwon's Polaroid camera.

If he hadn't gone through them, maybe he would have been fine. But he did and he could clearly remember every moment, each memory fresh in his mind like it happened yesterday.

Wonho needed to sit down, unable to even make it to the couch he collapsed then and there. His hands shook, he couldn't look away.

In that moment, he would have given anything just to be able to see Hyungwon smile like that again.

And just like that, the resistance he had build over a year came crashing down. He didn't even try to stop his mind from falling into a spiral of scattered memories, each of them like another dagger to his heart.

It brought tears to his eyes, which only made him angry.

Wonho and Hyungwon didn't have an explosive break up. In fact it wasn't a break up at all - months before he'd gone away, Hyungwon had become cold and distant. Finally he had admitted that he wasn't well and needed a break. A break. He needed to be alone.

Wonho didn't blame him, in fact he supported the idea. Because he only wanted Hyungwon to be alright and to recover from whatever was holding him down. If that meant that they needed to part ways, so be it.

They hadn't fought over it.

They weren't angry at each other.

No harsh words had been exchanged.

They were on good terms, still.

So why the hell was he crying?

But perhaps the most cruel thing Hyungwon could have done was leaving him hope.

Wonho wanted to lose hope, it would have made it so much easier. Because spending time anticipating, waiting and longing for something that may never happen hurt a lot more than moving on.

But he couldn't move on. Because when Wonho had said, "You won't hear from me until you're ready to have me in your life again," Hyungwon hadn't shut him down or told him that it was over.

He had said, "Alright."

Wonho spent hours on the floor, crying until he was completely empty. A couple of times he thought that he had calmed down, but then he'd get the floor pulled from under him by a random memory.

He was dimly aware that he'd been getting messages, as his phone was on the bookshelf above him. He ignored it, until his phone started ringing.

Assuming that whoever had been texting him so excessively, Minhyuk probably because he had no chill, was calling to get his attention, Wonho stood up to answer.

Except the name which popped up on the screen wasn't 'Minhyuk', or any of his friends'.

Wonho picked up and said nothing. He wasn't sure what to say and didn't really trust his voice, afraid that he'd break down if he spoke.

"Hoseok?"

Hearing his voice, even over the phone, was relieving. But Wonho still stayed quiet.

"It's Hyungwon..."

"I know," he uttered. It took a lot of effort to keep his voice calm.

It appeared that Hyungwon was also struggling to find the right thing to say.

"I'm, uh... Coming back to Seoul."

"Oh," was all Wonho had to say to that.

"... And I'd like to see you."

"When?"

"Tomorrow." A pause. "I know that showing up at your door would have been more poetic, but it wouldn't have been fair. I don't even know if you hate me."

"Hate you?" Wonho laughed bitterly. "I could never hate you."

"That's a relief," Hyungwon's voice was strained. If he didn't know any better, Wonho would have thought that he was holding back tears.

"Thank you for calling me."

"Right. Listen, I'm sorry about all of this. I don't think I've--"

"Let's do this tomorrow. I think I need a moment," Wonho admitted as he was starting to lose his breath again.

"Yeah, okay. Sorry."

"And Hyungwon?"

"... Yeah?"

"I've missed you so damn much." Wonho didn't wait for an answer and just hung up.

He wouldn't allow himself to lose it that time. The good thing was that he was already on the floor. He checked out the messages and saw that they were indeed from Minhyuk.

Wonho replied with, 'I'm glad you're having a good time with memes meanwhile Hyungwon just called me.'

The spam immediately stopped and Wonho received a message that simply said, 'Oh .'

* * *

Not checking the time every two minutes proved to be quite hard.

Wonho was so anxious, he thought he would be sick.

As excited as he was to see Hyungwon again, at the same time he dreaded the moment. He was afraid that things wouldn't be the same again or even worse, that Hyungwon wouldn't be the same.

As if the universe hated Wonho, the flight was also late. He didn't want to sit down, instead pacing around and fidgeting with his lighter.

Until he spotted him.

Hyungwon looked utterly exhausted and beaten down. He appeared shorter than he actually was, keeping his head down and shoulders slumped. A face mask hid his face, he was wearing a brown trench coat and he slowly dragged his suitcase along like he was in no hurry whatsoever.

Hyungwon's current state broke Wonho's heart into a million pieces.

Wonho didn't bother to make his way over, mainly because he was once again petrified.

With a heavy sigh, Hyungwon glanced up and their eyes met. For a moment neither of them moved, they just stared at each other across the hall.

Then Hyungwon moved forward; when he was a few paces away he left his suitcase and without thinking twice pulled Wonho into an almost desperate hug.

"I'm an idiot," was the first thing he said.

Finding himself in Hyungwon's embrace after so long brought tears to Wonho's eyes. His words even more so.

"You did what you thought was best," Wonho muttered, clinging onto the other. He felt like if he let go, Hyungwon would disappear again.

"But it turned out to be the stupidest thing possible--" His breath hitched. Hyungwon needed a second to compose himself. "I never should have left."

"It's okay," Wonho assured.

For a moment they just held each other, both of them crying quietly.

"I love you," Hyungwon uttered.

Wonho smiled through the tears. "I'm happy to hear that again."

Hyungwon pulled away and wiped his eyes. Despite everything, he was smiling as well. "Aren't you going to say it back?"

"Maybe... When we get home. Once I make sure you're really here."

Hyungwon didn't argue with that. He took his suitcase, and hand in hand they made it to Wonho's car.