The rest of the days of our Summer adventures were truly one of a kind. Both Hwasa and Wheein have met Sooyoung, my cousin and they all liked her. Whenever I think about it, I just find myself smiling. Never in my wildest dreams would I ever think of meeting an angel- and having introduced her to the world as my cousin.

Meeting an angel has its own benefits and mishaps. Even so, I am really thankful that she came into my life. Before, I always thought that I can do things on my own. I never have to think of others but myself. But since Sooyoung came, I learn how to be even more thoughtful and be considerate of other people around me. As Hwasa said, I became sensible to my surroundings. It’s like suddenly, the world become a better place for me. So many things have happened and changed- ani, things for me now has make sense. Sooyoung taught me how to look at things differently and I’m thankful. Sometimes, I wonder if Sooyoung never came. And honestly, it breaks my heart.

“What if she goes back to heaven?” Wheein asked

I have explained this to my bestfriends, Solar, Wheein and Hwasa- about how Sooyoung is actually an angel.

Seriously, I’ve never really thought about it. It never occurred to me. And now that Wheein has brought it up, I can’t help but wonder: what will happen to me if Sooyoung goes back to heaven? It breaks my heart. You know that feeling wherein you are so attached to something that the thought of you losing it breaks your heart so much. I don’t even know what I would do if that happens.

“Annyeong Haseyo!” Sooyoung greeted the customer

I was at the lounge, reading some novel. It was my break time so I decided to hang around for a bit at the library with Sooyoung. These days, the people coming here in library are increasing. Well, Sooyoung did an amazing job at cleaning and organizing the library.

I was reading this book at the table which was probably left by the previous reader by accident. The cover looked good and the title got me curious so I started reading it. As a conspiracy theories explorer I am, I decided to give it a chance.

“What are you reading? It looks so weird” Solar commented as she sits down beside me

I lean my head at the backrest and lift the book higher for me to read better. The page I‘m in is really hooking me in. In the page, it discusses what Memento Mori originally meant.

Memento Mori is a Latin phrase meaning ‘remember you must die’. A basic memento mori painting would be a portrait with a skull but other symbols commonly found are hour glasses or clocks, extinguished or guttering candles, fruit, and flowers.

Hour Glass? Clocks? Candles? Fruits and Flowers? Why do these things seem familiar to me? I could feel connection to it but I don’t know what exactly. It’s like I’ve seen all of these at once, somewhere.

Suddenly, Solar took the book from me, detaching me from my contemplations. I looked at her in dismay but she was already hissing at me with her large eyes.

“What?” I asked annoyed

“Are you crazy? Reading this kind of book? IN HERE?” Solar shouted at me in a whispering way

“Why not? Besides, this is a library. And fyi, I just saw it lying there at the table so I decided to take a look at it”

“Byul, do you know what this book is? This is like an old version of deep web” Solar said like she’s stating a fact

A deep web? Seriously? I chuckled at her for a bit.

“Miss Solar, don’t you try using term “deep web” on me like I don’t know it because I’ve known it like the back of my hand” I said proudly, “And that book doesn’t really contain accurate information. They’re purely fictional!”

“Byul, you don’t get it. Some information that can be found here are usually and I mean- entirely for limited access. Not all people can read this book easily”

“Really? And who told you that?”

“The old lady told me so.” She answered right away which caught me off guard, “She told some things about life and death, demons and angels, and even about Memento Mori. Byul, this book isn’t just any ordinary book.”

“Geez, Solar. You’ve become a creep for a moment there” I said trying to ease the atmosphere

“Byul, this is real. Everything that’s written here is true” Solar said trying to convince me

“Fine. Whatever” I said dropping the subject. It’s already eerie enough.

I turn my head and start looking for Sooyoung. I turn around and saw her standing at the counter area talking with some guy I couldn’t recognize. His back was turned at me.

“Sooyoung?” the guy spoke

“Ne. I’m Sooyoung”

I saw how the guy customer suddenly hugged Sooyoung out of nowhere. I instantly snapped and went to him.

“YA! LET GO OF HER” I said pushing the guy away and was about to hit him but Sooyoung stopped me

“It’s ok, Byul”

“But-“ the guy said

I looked back at the guy and he has this confused and shocked face. He was looking straight at Sooyoung’s face.

“How is it-? You’re alive!” he exclaimed happily but confused

Wait. Does he know her? Why does he act like he does know Sooyoung? Wait. Could it be that- he knew the real Sooyoung? Solar then appears at my side, confused too.

“You’re Choi Sooyoung, right?” the guy stood up and approached Sooyoung. “Don’t you remember me? We used to attend High School together. We’ve known each other since we are kids. We’re childhood bestfriends. Look!”

The guy scrambles some things in his bag. He then took out his wallet and showed her a picture of them when they were in High school.

Heol! It really looks like Sooyoung- the high school version of her. It was the same uniform we had and they- they really look super close. In the picture, Sooyoung was smiling so happily. I’ve never seen her smile like that before. It makes me feel like she really is- alive.

“YA! Are you crazy? Did you Photoshop this? You must be one of the crazy admirers of Sooyoung” I said

“Aniyo. Sooyoung, don’t you remember me?” He looked at Sooyoung longingly

I looked at her and she was just standing there, looking at the picture. Her face was blank. It was so hard to read her thoughts but somehow, I feel nervous. I feel like this guy will take her away from me.

“YA! GO AWAY!” I started pushing him away

“Byul-ah! Don’t push him” Solar said stopping me

“Lee Donghae” Sooyoung said looking at him, “You’re Lee Donghae. Right?”

The guy immediately becomes ecstatic when Sooyoung called him. “That’s right. I am Lee Donghae. You remember me now?”

“Mianhae. I don’t know you” Sooyoung said giving back the picture, “I just read the name tag in the picture. I’m sorry to disappoint you but I don’t think I am the person you are looking for. I don’t think we’ve met before. I’m sorry”

“But-“

The guy walked away with sagged shoulders. He was really disappointed.

I looked at Sooyoung to check if she was ok but suddenly she has this cold aura around her.

“Let’s close the Library for now. I feel exhausted” she said turning the signage around and locked the doors.

We went to the lounge in the second floor. I give her a glass of water and let her rest at the couch. She was really super quiet. She wasn’t speaking the whole time.

I wanted to ask her questions but she did look tired. Why does it seem as if all her energy was drained? She must have lied earlier. I think she really do know that guy. But why did she do that? Wait. Did she see something when she accidentally touched him earlier?

“Soo, tell me, who is he? What did you see?”

“That guy- Lee Donghae- he was telling the truth” she said

I could see the tears forming in her eyes and how her body shivers from the memory she just witnessed upon meeting him. I went to sit beside her and try to comfort her.

That whole day, she was just quiet and seemed like not her usual self. She just locks herself up to her room and wouldn’t eat.

When I finished setting up the table on the next day, I went to her room to call her. I knocked on the door three times but she didn’t answer. Could it be that she’s still sleeping? I wiggle the door knob and was shocked to see it wasn’t locked.

I didn’t want to but I have to. I have to check up on her.

When I opened the door, I found her lying still at her bed. I approached her bed and shake her body to wake her up but I was even more shocked when I saw how pale her face is. It’s like all the blood in her body was drained. She was also sweating too much. It’s like she’s having a nightmare right now.

“Sooyoung! Sooyoung! What’s happening?”

As I was shaking her body, I noticed her necklace. It was a locket in a shape of a round clock. I was about to touch it when it suddenly opened. I was surprised as I saw an angel with wings wrapped around an hour glass. It felt weird as I watch the sand glowing inside the hour glass. There’s none much of sand left.

Suddenly, I was shocked when Sooyoung touched my hand.

“Water, please” she said weakly

I immediately took the pitcher and a glass full of water. I give it to her hastily.

“What’s happening? You’ve never been like this before” I asked worriedly

She wasn’t even finished in drinking the water when she suddenly stopped from moving. She drops the glass into her bed. I was about to shake her body again but she caught my right hand.

“Solar. Find Solar” she said with fear

“Solar? Why? What has this got to do with Solar?” I asked now even more worried

“Solar is in trouble”

“What do you mean she’s in trouble?”  I said trying to dismiss the thought of anything bad happening to her, “She’s fine. She is on her way home”

“No, you don’t understand. Byul, you have to listen to me. Solar will be in danger. You have to look for her”

I don’t understand what’s happening and why Sooyoung thinks that Solar will be in danger. I tried to remain calm and be logical.

“Sooyoung! Explain to me what’s happening” I demanded

“I-I” she struggled, looking for words.

I watched her patiently as she opens and closes .  For the first time, I could read her actions. For the first time, I can understand what she’s doing or what’s going on except that I don’t really understand what’s happening right now.

“I can’t explain this to you like this. But I can show you” she said and grabbed my arm.

As soon as Sooyoung grabbed my arm, we were transported into different place. I recognized the street as this is the same street where Solar and I passes by on our way home from school.

“Sooyoung, why are we here?” I asked

“No one can see us. This is a memory of the past and future.”

“What? What do you mean?”

I was about to ask her further when I heard a familiar voice. I look away and saw Solar on the phone.

“But Grandma, I don’t understand. Why are we going to UK all of a sudden? I still haven’t finished high school yet. Grandma, I don’t want to leave. But I have friends here.”

From where we are standing, I could see Solar crying. I know how much she’s hurting and yet I can’t do anything. It’s so frustrating to watch someone you love, crying in front of you and you can’t even do anything.

“I understand, Grandma.” She said as she hangs up her phone.

I wanted to approach her, to console her, to cheer her up but how can I do that when she couldn’t even see me? I watched her as she bawl her eyes out. I’ve never seen her cry like that.

She then picks up her phone again and started calling someone. I couldn’t see the name of the person she’s trying to call. However, the person didn’t answer her call. I could see the disappointment in her face as she sees missed call. Again, she cried even harder.

She then started walking with her feet dragging her whole body. She slowly calms herself as she wipes the tears away. I don’t know what else to do. I just follow her. So many things run through my mind now like why does her Grandma suddenly want her to go abroad or will she ever go to abroad but what really concerns me most is Solar. I wonder what she’s thinking right now. If only I could hold her, hug her.

Suddenly, she started crossing the road. I was shocked as I saw a car coming.

“SOLLLAAARRR!” I tried shouting her name but she couldn’t hear me. She doesn’t move at all.

It’s like the time stopped. I was just there- frozen- unable to move. Solar. Solar, the girl I’ve cherished with all my heart and soul, the girl I promised to protect. I try to understand what’s happening in front of me. Solar got hit by the car right in front of me. What do I do?

“Byul!” Sooyoung called me

“Solar—“ right now, tears are falling from my eyes and I couldn’t move to wipe it away. I was too shocked by what I just witnessed.

“It’s ok, Byul”

“How can you say that? Solar- solar got hit by a car!”

“No” she said timidly

“What are you saying? You are there. You saw what happened!”

“Ne. I was there. And you’re there too. But what you saw is something that has happened… and will happen. It depends on what will be your choice”

“What do you mean? I don’t understand”

“Our choices always come with outcomes. Sometimes, no matter how great a choice is, the outcome isn’t always so pleasing and yet we keep on picking the choice which we think is right rather than doing what’s the best for all.”

“What are you trying to say? I don’t understand it!”

“Byul, you must understand. We make our own choices whether it’d be good or bad, it doesn’t matter. What matters is what we will do with that choice we made. Even if the outcome will leave a permanent scar, if it’s made for the greater good, it’s still a good choice”

And suddenly, we were at the hospital. I don’t understand. Why are we here?

“Byul, I don’t think you had the right idea of me”

“Sooyoung, what are you saying? I don’t understand anything that you’re telling me”

“Do you remember what I told you before?”

“What? That you are an Angel?”

“Ne. I am an Angel but not the kind of angel you think of. I’m an Angel of Death.”

“What?” I couldn’t comprehend what she just told me. An Angel- of Death?

There was a momentarily paused. Did I hear it right? Is she telling me the truth? Did she really say that?

“What did you just say?”

“I’m an angel of death” she repeated, “I guide all the souls to heaven. That’s why I can see the past of someone I touched. I see their past before they all lost them.”

“No way” I said not believing it.

“I was sent to take the life away of one person given to me”

“What? You’re lying, right? I don’t believe you!”

“Don’t you still understand it, Byul? All those signs you’ve read in the book-”

It’s true? Those things I’ve read on the book… they are all true? Then… she is really the angel of death?

“NO! I’M NOT GOING TO LET YOU TAKE SOLAR AWAY FROM ME!” I said spreading my arms and blocking her way

“Aniyo, Byul. I’m not meant to take Solar’s life away.” She said with tears forming in her eyes

“Then who?”

“Yours”

I don’t know what to feel. I couldn’t believe it all. That’s why… that’s why she came to me, that’s why out of all people she could go to, she chooses me, that’s why she knows me all along… because it’s me. Because it’s my life she’s meant to take away. But why? How could it be me?

“In the past, you got into a huge accident that killed many people. There are so many unexpected deaths that’s why I was sent to prevent that accident from happening.” Sooyoung said

“The past?”

“Ne. On that same intersection where you saw Solar got hit by the car, it was you before. I had to return back the time before that happens to make sure it won’t happen.”

“You mean to say, that instead of Solar, it’s supposed to be me? I should be the one getting hit by that car.”

“Yes, it’s you who is supposed to be hit by the car but like what I told you before, the scene of Solar having car accident is part of the future. It’s now up to you on what choice you will make.”

“But I don’t understand. You said you were meant to take my life away”

“I think we were simply in the wrong place at the wrong time. I’ve recently discovered a part of me. I believe we’re linked in some way”

“Linked in some way? How?”

“You’ll see.”

“But you won’t take my life away?”

“It’s gotten a lot more complicated than expected.” Sooyoung smiled lightly, “Even if that’s the case, we still make our own choices, Byul-ah. You must remember this.”

When I woke up, I was at my room. I couldn’t remember anything from last night. I touched my face and felt my own tears. Was I crying this time? Why?

“Byul?” a woman called

The door then opened and my mom entered my room, “The breakfast is ready. Hurry up. You’ll be late for school”

“Ne” I said trying to remember what exactly my dream was.

I quickly prepared myself for school. Somehow, I felt really uneasy. I don’t know what my dream is but since I woke up, I felt really sad. It’s so weird.

“BYUL!” Wheein called me.

She was running to me with Hwasa following her. We were walking to the school grounds on our way to our room.  I was snatched away from my thoughts because of Wheein’s funny story. We were all laughing when I saw someone familiar.

“Solar!” I called her and she looked back.

We all run to her. I quickly pulled her into a hug. I don’t know why but I felt like it’s been months since I last saw her. I suddenly miss her so much.

I then put my arms around her shoulder.

“What’s up with you, Byul?” Solar asked

“Nothing. I’m just happy seeing you” I answered giving her my most genuine smile

She just eyed me like she is finding me weird. I am weird. But it’s ok. As long as I’m with Solar, I’m happy.

The whole day has been really good. We all spend time happily. We also tried this game in our P.E. class. It was so fun. Solar and I stayed a little late because of a homework we needed to get done.

“You know what? I had the strangest dream ever. I couldn’t exactly remember it all but from what I can recall, I was in a room and there was a beautiful angel with me” I said excitedly

“Really? But you’re with me?” Solar asked

“Tsk! Of course it’s not you” I said grinning at her, “She was petite and had a beautiful long hair. She is also tall like me. But she looks sad although I cannot see her face clearly.”

I was trying to remember my dream when I looked at Solar. “Why? What’s wrong?” I asked worriedly

“Byul, I received a call from my grandmother. She wanted me to go to UK with her”

“But Solar-“

“I know. I don’t want to leave but if I don’t where will I stay? I can’t go back to my parents’ house. You know what happened the last time.”

“You can live in our house!” I said excitedly. Imagine all the beautiful memories we can create if Solar and I live together.

“But Byul, your parent’s wouldn’t approve of it. Besides, I don’t want to cause any more trouble”

“Solar, you’re not a burden to my family. You know how much my parents wanted you to stay with us”

“Even if, Byul.” Solar’s face drops “I don’t want to always ask for help. You have done so much for me already and I am so grateful for that but I can’t always depend on you or your family. I want to face this on my own without any help from you. I want to face my own problems.”

“Solar, have you ever considered us?” I said looking at her, “Tell me, what we are to you? Did you even consider us as your family?”

I waited for her to reply but she didn’t. I never thought of that before. I never thought Solar would disregard us since she always look so happy with us. But I guess it’s just me. I guess I never really know her.

I couldn’t wait for her to answer any more so I decided to leave. I walked out of the room leaving her behind and run so fast not caring if I bump into people. I wasn’t looking at my way when I was surprised by a light in front of me.

There was a bus coming towards my way. I stood at my place, not knowing what to do. Suddenly, I’ve remembered something I’ve never seen before.

I was at the hospital. It was pretty chaotic. All of the nurses and the doctors are busy attending to all of the patients. For some unknown reason, the hospital is packed with so many patients- some are wounded, some are covered with blood, some are crying with their loved ones beside them and others- are crying beside the lifeless body of their loved one.

A man dressed in white gown which I presume is a doctor passed by in front of me. He went into one room beside me. I decided to follow him.

I went into the room and saw the nurses are there already- waiting for his arrival. He quickly ordered them to prepare. He turns around and I saw quickly his name- Dr. Lee Donghae.

I was about to leave the room when I heard a familiar voice.

“Please, save her. Save my daughter!” a woman pleaded

I turn around and saw my mother crying her heart out with my father holding her up- keeping her from falling to the floor. I was about to approach them when I saw myself at the bed almost lifeless.

I watched as Dr. Lee was doing his best to revive me but strangely, I couldn’t believe what I’m seeing. Why am I there? Why am I covered with blood? What happened to me?

Out of nowhere, the door flew wide open. We were disturbed by a nurse.

“Dr. Lee, your patient in the next room is-“ the nurse  frantically said but hesitated to say the last word

I looked at Dr. Lee and saw his furious face. I could see how he was trying to think fast. He couldn’t just leave. If he leaves, I will die. But if he didn’t the other patient will die. I then saw a tear escaped his eyes. He has been holding back his tears.

“Let’s try again” he said his voice restrained.

He chose me. He chooses to save me.

Then as if returning back to the reality, I felt someone dragging me.

“Jeez, that was close!” I heard a girl’s voice

I looked up and saw a lady in white. She was hugging me. I looked at her carefully. She looks so beautiful like an angel. But she really looked familiar at the same time.

“You almost got hit there!” she said. “Are you okay?”

I couldn’t comprehend anything that she’s saying really. I just try to remember. I feel like we’ve met before.

“Sooyoung!” a guy called

Sooyoung? Her name is Sooyoung?

The guy came. He smelled alcohol- not the alcohol drink but alcohol that is used in Hospital.

“Byul!” Solar came to my side. She was hugging me tightly. I could see tears in her eyes.

“You must be her friend. I’m Choi Sooyoung and this is my boyfriend, Lee Donghae. I’m a medical student and he is a doctor.”

“You’ll be doctor next year too” Donghae said smiling lovingly at Sooyoung

“Be careful next time, okay? Don’t just cross the road” Sooyoung said waving us goodbye

I look back at Solar, “Mianhae. I’m sorry I got you so worried.”

“No, it’s okay” Solar said as I wipe her tears away, “I won’t go anywhere else. I’ll just stay here with you. I want to be with you forever.”

 

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