The gift shop is a refreshing change from the rest of the hospital, and Hakyeon welcomes it dearly after the cold halls of stark white, the uncomfortable waiting room chairs, and the overpowering smell of hand sanitizer. In here there's more color, more things that remind him of everyday life. Rows of chocolates and snacks, a cooler of ice creams and beverages, shelves filled with stuffed animals, a display rack of clothing. 

He walks around for a minute, looking over the items and seeing if anything catches his interest. Or rather, if anything would be of Taekwoon's interest, anything that he would want. When asked this morning, he had answered, "Nothing, just for you to be here when I wake." 

Hakyeon had grasped his hand. "Of course, I'll be here. I'd be right there in the operating room with you if I could."
Taekwoon smiled softly at that, opening his mouth to reply back but was interrupted by a nurse coming in, ready to administer the anesthesia. Hakyeon really did not want to let go of Taekwoon's hand, almost felt ready to fall to his knees and beg the nurse to let him into the operating room. 

He didn't. He had to let go.

Hakyeon comes out of his flashback moment when he bumps into a clothing rack, knocking a few ball caps onto the floor. He curses under his breath and bends down to get them, looking over a few to see if he could imagine Taekwoon wearing any, but they all just had different variations of the hospital's name written on them. 

He ends up going simple and buying a card, with a cute cartoon drawing of a whale that says Get WHALE Soon on it, and a stuffed teddy bear, one with button eyes that reminds Hakyeon of one he had as a child, along with several different snacks because he knows Taekwoon will be hungry as soon as he wakes up.

The waiting room is empty. It's just him. He writes out a message in the card, allowing himself to be as mushy as he wants to. Since getting sick, Taekwoon has been able to handle mushiness a lot better than he used to, and sometimes Hakyeon is good at being mushy. Especially in times like this. 

There's a coffee maker down the hall, and Hakyeon grabs himself a cup after he's done writing, because he has nothing else to do. It's surprisingly not that bad though. He makes a mental note to tell Taekwoon about it. 

So he sits, and sips coffee, and taps his feet on the tiled floor, and rereads the flyer about flu vaccinations on the wall opposite of him a few times. He answers texts he's gotten over the last few hours, from Jaehwan and Sanghyuk, Taekwoon's mother, his boss, a few of his soccer teammates, all asking if there's been anything yet. 

He's about to tell them all that no, he's still waiting, Taekwoon's still in the operating room, but then there's a nurse coming in his direction, beckoning him with a finger and saying, "He's out." Hakyeon's heart soars, breathing a sigh of relief as he lets out a shaky answer of, "Okay", grabbing his bags and shoving his phone into his pocket. He'll update everyone later.

Hakyeon's met with the low beeping of a machine and a groggy Taekwoon when he enters the room. He hesitates. It's hard to see Taekwoon like this, hooked to machines and IVs and nurses fussing over him. It was so difficult after his first operation that Hakyeon had just immediately erupted into tears, but this time he blinks away the slight wetness in his eyes. He shouldn't upset Taekwoon.

"Hakyeon," Taekwoon speaks, attempting to wave but his hand just flops back onto the bed. "Why are you standing so far away?"

Taekwoon's voice is music to his ears. He was only in surgery for a few hours but it felt like a lifetime. Hakyeon smiles at him and makes his way towards the bed once most of the nurses are done with him, sitting down in one of the bedside chairs. He takes Taekwoon's hand and squeezes it, not trusting himself just yet to speak, just in case he turns into a blubbering mess.

"It feels strange," Taekwoon says, talking so low Hakyeon has to lean over to hear him. "I just keep.. twitching, and nothing moves."

Hakyeon nods, eyes going over to Taekwoon's right side, where there's oodles of bandages over the short stub that remains of his left arm. It's different than what Hakyeon had imagined it to be, scarier now that it's happened. "I'll give you my arm?" he suggests, attempting to lighten the mood just a little bit. 

It works. Taekwoon smiles and lets out a huff of laughter. "Is it strange to say I'm going to miss it?"

Hakyeon laughs along with him. "I don't think so," he answers. "It was a good arm." Or rather, it was good up until it became riddled with cancer, but he doesn't say that out loud. 

"A good arm," Taekwoon repeats, smiling wider. "Let's hope my right is just as good, then."

The rest of the evening is a blur of nurses and doctors and visitors. Hakyeon is taught how to clean Taekwoon's bandages for when they go home in a few days; luckily he isn't too squeamish and the wound isn't as bad as he thought it was going to be. Taekwoon's mother visits, then Wonshik and Sanghyuk, who pokes and prods at his stub in awe, much to Taekwoon's annoyance.

At night, when it's just the two of them, Hakyeon gives Taekwoon his gift shop presents. He opens his bag that he packed at home beforehand, getting out all of Taekwoon's favorite items. 

"Your whale," he says, sitting the color changing whale toy next to Taekwoon in bed. 

"Peanut." He props the framed picture of their beloved pet corgi on Taekwoon's bedside table.

"Blanket." He lays the blue, checkered blanket Taekwoon sleeps with every night over his body.

Taekwoon seems happy and lot more at ease now that he has a few items from home with him. Hakyeon climbs into bed next to him, unsure if he's even allowed to, but oh well. He's careful to not disturb the tubes and wires hooked to Taekwoon, settling down next to him gently. Eventhough he's underneath his blanket, Hakyeon can still feel him shivering. "Are you cold?" he asks. "I can turn the thermometer up."

Taekwoon shakes his head. "Just hold me."

Hakyeon does so, snaking his arms beneath wires and wrapping them gently around Taekwoon. It's a little weird without his left arm. It'll take some time for Hakyeon to get used to, and it will take a lot of hard work to help Taekwoon get the hang of living life without the limb. Hakyeon is determined to do his best in helping him. Taekwoon was so afraid when they found out amputating his arm would be best, he was scared of becoming a burden on everyone, especially Hakyeon, and that his husband would lose his desire of him.  He knows those fears aren't fully gone yet so Hakyeon is going to do his best in erasing them from now on.

"I can't get to sleep," Taekwoon complains, breaking the silence. "Sing. Please."

Hakyeon chuckles, but he starts to sing a gentle lullaby because he can't refuse Taekwoon. It's Taekwoon's favorite one about flying over cotton candy clouds and bathing in pools of holy water, a strange choice but it's one his mother used to sing to him. Hakyeon watches as Taekwoon's eyes flutters for a bit before shutting completely, and he begins to snore softly. He presses a kiss to Taekwoon's temple. He's tired too, and his own singing his made him even sleepier so he closes his own eyes.

It's been an exhausting  day. It's been an exhausting six months.  Diagnosis, tests, treatments, fear, and anxiety. But Hakyeon feels everything will be fine somehow. It has to be.