“Hyung, how come I never see Woojin hyung with you anymore?” Guanlin asks during one study session.

“Woojin?” Jihoon munches on a cookie from the bag they’re secretly eating from. These are both against library rules: talking and eating. It gives Guanlin thrills. “He got a boyfriend, for reasons unknown. I don’t know how he did, with that face. The boyfriend is cute too! Probably blind or dumb or both if he likes someone like Woojin. Like, eww. Disgusting.”

A boyfriend. Guanlin had no idea Woojin was gay, but it’s 2017 and swinging any number of ways wasn’t anything new. “Do you have a boyfriend?” he asks Jihoon next. Jihoon is handsome and it wouldn’t be surprising if he had a boyfriend or a girlfriend, but it still makes Guanlin anxious to hear the answer.

Jihoon splutters at the question, his face flushing into a shade of pink. “No!” he hisses. His eyebrows furrow at Guanlin, who is already pleased with the answer. “Is a guy that fights for fun boyfriend material, Guanlin?” he asks Guanlin softly, as if he’s afraid of hearing what the other boy has to say about that.

“Hyung is very boyfriend material,” Guanlin declares, and Jihoon’s burying his face in his arms in embarrassment. It’s cute, and Guanlin decides he would definitely date this boy if they ended up falling in love with each other.

A day later Jisung decides that Guanlin’s okay to be back to playing basketball. Jihoon just nods and smiles at him when Guanlin tells him the news, saying it would be Guanlin’s chance to make use of what he’s learned.

“I’m going to study harder too,” Jihoon decides. He smiles shyly, as if he’s about to tell Guanlin a secret. “Hey, don’t laugh, but I’m trying to get into medical school. Isn’t Jisung hyung cool? I want to be just like him.”

Guanlin smiles at him. It was unexpected, that this boy who picks fights with everyone had such big dreams for himself in the future. He’s delighted that Jihoon was opening up to him; happy he knew one of the other boy’s secrets.

“It doesn’t suit me, does it?” Jihoon laughs sheepishly. “It suits caring people like Jisung hyung and I’m kind of rowdy, but it won’t hurt to try.”

“You can do it, hyung,” Guanlin says. He believes it; believes that Jihoon can do anything he puts his mind to. Jihoon was special.

And just like that, the study sessions end. The thought of not seeing Jihoon regularly makes Guanlin feel lonelier than ever, even when he makes a more friends at class and club activities.

Jihoon is always the subject of his daydreams when he spaces out at class: Jihoon teaching him whatever’s being taught to the class instead of the teacher or Jihoon being delighted at flowers from Guanlin. Sometimes they even go on dates, and the two of them hold hands.

He doesn’t realize that he’s smiling to himself until Seonho pokes him with a pencil and snaps him out of it.

-

It’s another grueling training session but Guanlin is still having fun, and he’s still enthusiastic when Jonghyun asks him to please get the handtowels from the club room. Jonghyun is a kind leader and Guanlin is glad to be able to help the team out in any way that he can, if it was only to make up for his week-long absence.

“Kku kku ka ka,” he hears a voice say at a distance mockingly as he’s on the way. Guanlin hasn’t heard those words before and has absolutely no idea what they mean, but he’s distracted by a familiar voice replying in English.

“ off, Ong Seungwoo! You fight me?”

Jihoon.

Guanlin jogs as quietly as he can to where he thinks he heard the voices come from. He quickly hides behind a bush, wanting to laugh at himself at how the hideout was like in a drama, when he sees Jihoon and two other boys he doesn’t recognize.

They’re a good few feet away from where Guanlin is, at the expanse of dirt near the sports club rooms. One of the boys, a tall one with tanned skin, has fallen on his . The other guy standing behind Jihoon starts laughing, and Guanlin has never heard a scarier laugh before: it’s a high-pitched, psychotic-sounding laugh that continues even after Jihoon punches his round cheek.

“Kku kku ka ka!” the round-faced guy screams in between his scary laughter. He staggers back from Jihoon’s punch and then does a terribly clumsy attempt at a roundhouse kick in Jihoon’s direction. Jihoon elbows him in the gut and that’s when he falls to the ground, still laughing.

Guanlin is starting to think “kku kku ka ka” is some sort of war cry, but that’s not what’s important right now. What’s important right now is that Jihoon looks extremely cool; with his hair sweaty and tousled and his knuckles a little bloody from beating up guys bigger than him. It takes every bit of Guanlin’s self-control to not stand up and cheer Jihoon on as loudly as he can, because he doesn’t want to distract his hyung from this fight.

The two guys Jihoon beat up were just lying on the ground right now as they all tried to catch their breath. “Hyung, I’m tired,” the laughing guy finally says after a while. He turns his face to his friend, his cheek pressed directly on the dirt floor. “Let’s just get Daniel to beat him up sometime.”

Before the taller guy could reply, Guanlin hears Jonghyun calling for him. He crouches further behind the bush to not be seen.

“, it’s Jonghyun,” Guanlin hears one of the boys say, and he can see both of them scrambling to their feet and running away. They look back and one of them yells at Jihoon: “We’ve captured this moment in our heart, we’ll get you soon!”

“Hyung!” Guanlin stands up and calls when he’s sure the other two boys are out of earshot. His breath catches in his throat when Jihoon turns to look at him. He looks exactly how someone who was just at a fistfight would look: sweaty and a little grimy, but his eyes have that usual sparkle in them and he is just so cool that Guanlin wants to scream.

“Guanlin,” Jihoon says his name fondly when he recognizes the other, grinning. It makes Guanlin so happy and he runs to Jihoon excitedly. “Why are you so sweaty? Are you in the middle of training?” Jihoon produces a handkerchief from his pants pocket, reaching up to dab at Guanlin’s forehead.

“Hyung, you were the coolest,” Guanlin gushes. He continues his rant as Jihoon wipes sweat from his face and neck. “You looked so cool, beating up those guys wow it was like an action movie! I wish I could be that cool, hyung! You’re the coolest!!”

“You shouldn’t fight, you might get hurt,” Jihoon frowns for a few seconds, before breaking out into a smile, eyes as sparkly as ever. “That was fun though! Fighting is so much fun!”

“Guanlin, I thought I told you to fetch the towels.”

Kim Jonghyun is now right behind them, a disapproving look on his face.

“S-sorry, hyung,” Guanlin apologizes, bowing his head down in shame. His original mission was to get the towels for the team, but he got distracted by Jihoon.

Jonghyun is already smiling. “That’s okay, you’re helping him, aren’t you?” he asks kindly, gesturing to Jihoon. “I’ll get the towels myself and you can him to the clinic.”

Jihoon insists angrily that he doesn’t really need to go to the clinic, but Guanlin is already ecstatic to be given a new, Jihoon-related task.

“Jihoon hyung, what’s ‘kku kku ka ka’?” Guanlin asks innocently as the two of them sit at the clinic. Jisung very obviously tries to keep in a laugh as he looked Jihoon over, clamping a palm against his own mouth before letting go with a straight face.

Jihoon’s ears redden at that and he clenches his fist. “Nothing.”

“I don’t know that word, I’ve never heard it before.”

Jisung bursts out laughing at that, and Jihoon whines an offended “Hyung! Stop laughing!”

“Sorry, sorry,” Jisung apologizes, still giggling. “Jihoonie was a child actor and ‘kku kku ka ka’ was aegyo that he did in a commercial,” he says quickly, grinning at Guanlin.

Jihoon hides his head under the hospital bed’s pillow, a muffled distraught scream escaping him.

Guanlin spaces out after that, letting Jisung do his work while Jihoon whines about Jisung betraying him. He daydreams about Park Jihoon doing aegyo and smiles to himself. Maybe Jihoon would do aegyo for him one day.

-

The next time he sees Jihoon is a few days later, when Jihoon is in another fight with a much-bigger kid again.

Only this time, Jihoon lost. The opponent is crouching beside him, checking out his condition. Jihoon is lying unconscious on the ground, clutching his stomach with one hand while one arm is lying limp at his side. He has another black eye, like he had the first time he met Guanlin except it’s the other eye this time, and a bruise at his jaw. There’s blood trickling at the side of his mouth, and it hurts; it hurts Guanlin so much. He doesn’t want to see Jihoon like this ever again.

“Hyung,” he chokes out.

The other boy turns to him slowly. He has a young-looking face, but his broad shoulders and piercings make him look manly. “Are you Jihoon’s friend?” he asks too gently for someone who has blood on his knuckles. “Can you take him to the clinic?”

Guanlin nods silently, moving towards Jihoon. The guy who beat him up makes a move to help him carry Jihoon, and Guanlin suddenly feels very angry. He slaps the older boy’s hand away when he tries to touch Jihoon, not caring that he could beat Guanlin up if he wanted to. The boy retracts his hand and watches him collect Jihoon in his arms.

“Might have to bring him to a hospital,” the boy calls behind him when Guanlin walks away carrying Jihoon. “Pretty sure his arm’s broken.”

-

It’s all a blur after they get to the clinic: Guanlin can tell Jisung is panicking internally but outwardly he assesses the situation and calls an ambulance calmly. Not only is Jihoon’s arm broken but his kneecap is also fractured, and there is bruising on his entire body. Woojin was called over as soon as they got to the hospital and he clenches his fist as he looks at Jihoon.

“He is such an idiot,” Woojin says angrily, but Guanlin can tell he’s worried by how tense his jaw is. “He picks fights with everyone and he’s since he’s so ing small someone’s bound to be stronger than him. See what happened today.” He swallows a lump in his throat before turning to Guanlin. “You know, I’ve been with him since we were little and he just won’t stop. He never stops wanting to prove to everyone that they can’t pick on him anymore. Not like when he was younger and too busy filming to make any friends other than the one kid in his neighborhood.”

Guanlin nods silently. He wanted to hug Jihoon, to keep him safe from everyone and himself if Jihoon would let him. He knew Jihoon was cool and protective towards what few friends he had, and all he wanted was for Jihoon to stop getting into trouble and focus on who he had in his life.

Every second makes Guanlin more anxious for the boy’s condition, but luckily, Jihoon doesn’t stay unconscious for long as long as the doctors told them.

“, it hurts,” are the first words out of his mouth. He’s heavily bandaged now, a cast both on an arm and one leg.

“, what did I say about picking fights with Kang Daniel,” Woojin says beside him. Guanlin can see his eyes water, but he can’t tell that well. He himself is also close to crying. “Jisung hyung is worried sick, and your mother was crying on the phone an hour ago. You know she can’t afford to come to the city every time your gets beat up.”

“I guess I’ll go be die now instead of having to look at your ugly face,” Jihoon says with a weak grin. “Goddamn that Kang Daniel, I just can’t ever win against him, can I?”

“You don’t have to try to beat him, you know,” Woojin says. He looks away now. “Everyone’s worried about you. I’m worried about you.”

“Since when are you this cheesy,” Jihoon groans, but his smile tells Guanlin he’s thankful for Woojin’s presence.

“Hyung,” Guanlin calls softly. He wipes at his eyes. He has to look as strong as Jihoon now, even though the other boy looked smaller and weaker than he’s ever been.

“Oh, is Guanlin here?” Jihoon gives a short laugh, trying to turn his head to look in his direction. “Thanks for visiting. Sorry I’m mummified.”

“You idiot, he’s the one that brought you here. Well, he brought you to Jisung hyung and then an ambulance came.” Woojin eyes both of them before getting up from his chair. “I’ll go get us some drinks and tell Jisung hyung you’re awake. Guanlin’ll take care of you.”

“ ‘Kay.”

Guanlin moves to Woojin’s seat near where Jihoon’s head is rested. There’s an awkward silence before Jihoon clears his throat. “I’m not so cool now, aren’t I?” he smiles at Guanlin.

Guanlin shakes his head vigorously. “Hyung is still cool. Hyung will always be the coolest. I just hope…” His breath catches in his throat and Jihoon patiently waits for him to continue, looking him in the eye. “I don’t want you to get hurt anymore, hyung.”

Jihoon looks slightly taken aback. “I’m okay, I’m used to this,” he insists. His voice fades out when Guanlin links their pinkies together gently, like the younger boy didn’t want to hurt him.

“Promise you won’t get hurt anymore?” Guanlin asks softly. He’s afraid Jihoon is going to reject him, that Jihoon will try to be tough again and push him away.

A soft sigh escapes Jihoon’s lips, but after a while he gives finally Guanlin’s pinky a faint squeeze. “Fine. I promise.”

Guanlin smiles. His mind feels more at ease now, believing that Jihoon was aware that pinky promises are official.

-

It takes a month and a half for Jihoon to be fully functional again, and Guanlin’s happy to see him working hard at studying instead of getting into fights while he heals. Jisung looks less stressed at the situation, and he gets to relax more with less troublesome kids to worry about. Jihoon keeps complaining that he’s bored without anyone to fight, but Guanlin shakes his head as he knows the older still gets into verbal fights with Woojin.

“Delinquent hyung again?” Seonho asks as Guanlin hurries to get all his books in his bag after the teacher announced the class’s dismissal.

“Hey, he isn’t a delinquent anymore,” Guanlin says in mock offense, grinning. He gives Seonho a wave before running off. He’s glad training is cancelled today as the coach is out of town and the upperclassmen have an event they’re busy preparing for.

He spots Jihoon at his usual spot in the library, the one beside the cornermost seat that Guanlin usually sat at when they had their study sessions months ago. He smiles at the memory.

“Hyung!” he calls loudly, more confident in his pronunciation than he had been months ago. He smiles harder even as the other students in the more populous area of the library shush him.

Jihoon looks like he wants to laugh, but he collects his things anyway, slinging on one arm that weird backpack of his with the turntable design.

“You ready for our date?” Guanlin asks cheerfully when he gets to where Jihoon is, voice softer than before to avoid the wrath of the seriously-studying students and librarian.

Jihoon nods, and Guanlin doesn’t have time to react when the older boy tiptoes and cups his face, pressing their lips together firmly. The kiss is not long enough for Guanlin’s brain to register, but the shade of tomato red Jihoon’s face currently is as he’s avoiding Guanlin’s eyes with a small smile on his lips, and the feeling of his own heart about to leap out of his chest, confirms that they had indeed kissed.

Guanlin’s cheeks suddenly hurt from smiling. “Hyung, I like you,” he whispers softly, and he feels happier than ever when he sees Jihoon’s smile widen.

“I’m ready for our date now,” Jihoon whispers back, linking their arms together. He grins cheekily before adding: “If I don’t run into that Kang Daniel on the way to that café, that is. Then I’m ready to fight.”

“Hey, no getting hurt,” Guanlin scolds him.

“No getting hurt,” Jihoon agrees.

They hold hands when they’re outside of the library, and Guanlin feels glad Jihoon’s hand is in his, and not punching someone’s face in.