So why don't we go, somewhere only we know?

He took of his fedora hat as he stepped down the lifeless bus. Seeing his destination was never a popular stop. Nor was it a regular destination for pedestrians. The bus drove off in a slow motion, dried leaves were blown away from the exhaust pipe, landing in front of him; making him observe the color. The smell of petrol left him; the morning breeze greeted him with the smell of autumn leaves in the air. He raised his chin upwards, revealing his perfect jaw line. Letting the sunrays hit his face and inhaled deeply. With eyes closed, he exhaled slowly in ecstasy. He looked forward and entered the empty land; walking down the pathway with the deciduous trees as his protection from the sun. Light rays penetrated the trees through tiny spaces between the leaves and landed on the ground, occasionally on his light brown hair and on to his designer clothing. He kept walking as he could feel the core of the earth beneath his feet. Knowing the path well enough, he knew where to stop for a turn; a turn where the sound of leaping water could be heard; the sound of the river; the sound of their river. Upon reaching the end of the pathway, the river was to be seen, matching the sound he heard meters away. Leaving the deciduous trees, the sun hit him full in his face causing him to instantly protect his eyes with his hat. Realizing the irony of the situation, he placed his hat over his head. He walked towards the water and stopped with the calm water just inches from his shoes. Looking up and scanned the river for a familiar spot. Smiling as he spotted it.

Enthusiastically, he walked over to it in faster pace than before. Touching the rough surface of the rock he reminisces the times he used to sit there. And so he did park himself, like he did in the past; though he was never alone then like he was now. When he used to come with her. Perfection of her kept growing each day as her hair gets longer and wavier. And the number of dresses she used to wear when she came here with him. But not this time, he was alone. His jeans helped him bear the warmth on the rock caused by the sun. He observed everything there is to be observed with a smile. His legs only centimeters from touching the water; either the water level had increased, or his legs grew. Being the playful magnae that he is, he swung his legs giddily with a pattern following the long grasses being pushed by the wind. Nonchalantly hitting his calves on the huge rock he was sitting. He rested his palms giving full support to his leaning body.

Again he looked upwards letting the sun hit his face as he smiled in peaceful bliss. The words of Key hyung entered his blank thoughts; reminding his dongsaeng about the sun and its ability to change ones’ face tone.

Tanned you mean, hyung?

He opened his eyes and the smile fades away. He randomly and unintentionally stares at a tree.

How is it that I’m here and those simulated thoughts are still in there?

Shaking it off and turned his gaze away, he stared at the water. As he focused on the sound of leaping waters, serenity entered his mind. Once again his eyes were slowly closing. With the last blur image of the water before completely closing his eyes, he hesitated. Immediately he shot them open wide. His thoughts were beginning to comprehend what his eyes gaped upon.

The water. It’s not as clear as it used to be.

The smile weakened with his eyes still staring and still his calves repeatedly thudding on the rock. Inadvertently, he started thudding against the rock harder than before with the same stale and awed expression on his face. After a few repetition of his thudding, a splash was heard as he was coming in for another one. He sat up straight from the sound of the splash with his legs on its way in for another thump, feeling his right foot to be lighter than before. Finally landing, the back of his right foot met the rough surface with only a thin barricade of his sock between them. Startled from the slight and sudden pain, he turned his attention to his feet; curiosity of the splash turned off.

My shoe?!

Suddenly remembering the splash again, he scanned the water for his sponsored Radii Top 42 shoes. His wandering eyes landed on a white object with slight yellow and red colouring on it floating away, carried by the current. With eyes widened, he struggled to get off the rock; darting from one spot to another, finding a good place to land his bare feet. Fear of the tinge of pain he might get if landing on the pebbles, he jumped and landed on his left leg.

Guess those dancing lessons paid off here as well

He started running, following his shoe with eyes still glued on it. Slowly, the number of rocks reduced. With such boundaries being gone, the shoe picked up speed. Taemin didn’t care anymore; he ran and ran trying to catch up to his shoe. Thinking of the trouble he’ll get into if he goes back to Seoul without it. After five minutes of intense running, his determination was slowly fading caused by the lack of breath and the panting he was doing. Unintentionally of course. Finally he slowed down to a stop, catching his breath with hands on his knees, supporting the top of his body on it. Bringing his head forward, the image of his shoe was getting smaller and soon gone completely. He looked down at what’s left of his other pair and sighed in a calm frustration.

It’s just a shoe anyway, should it really be bothered?

He straightened his body and began walking away from the river, approaching yet another familiar walking zone; the meadow. Upon entering, he gazed at the long stretch of calm, green pastures, the tall trees and the random flowers growing from one spot to another. He looked down on his feet. His Radii Top 42 left shoe was still there, against the green grass. He took it off along with his socks and entered the meadow. The feeling of soft grass against the sole of his feet and the tinge of light air hit his face and giving goose bumps to his arms. He smiled again in ecstasy.

He went deeper into the meadow where he expected an old tree to be there, where he used to play on the swing with her, where they would laugh together. He laughed at the thought of the possibility of the swing not being able to support his weight anymore. He remembered the location specifically for it was a very memorable place to be. And still is. As he reached it, his smile faded away once again. He placed his shoe down and walked towards it for a closer examination. He touched the bark of it lightly; some braches fell off, looking at him. He broke his stare and looked up the tree. Following the branch that lead to two ropes tied on it. With a beaming face, he rushed over to the swing. Remembering when the rope was still new, nothing like it was now. He ran his hands through it and on the block of wood being the seat. Its colour was practically grey, not the brown he used to know. The colour probably had faded from the rain. Of course it rained when he was gone.

How many times though? How many times did it rain when I was gone?

He stared down, having a slight urge to sit on it for a swing like he used to. After playing around the meadow and feeling tired, he would place her down on the swing and give her light pushes with occasional harder ones to make her laugh. Whenever he stops for a while, she would sit silently with the swing slowly decreasing its speed when not getting his pushes. Her smile would grow smaller during that period of time. That period of time, when he would pluck a nearby buttercup and stop her swinging completely. As she turns her head to face him he would smoothly slid the flower behind her ear; adding to her beauty. She would run her finger awkwardly through the flower and smiled as she noticed what was placed there. Her smile would make her face glow with gleaming eyes to go with it. The wind would blow intermittently, blowing her hair to her eyes. She would bring her right hand closer to her face to brush it away.

He bit his lower lip and stared down with eyes closed, ending his flashback. Unconsciously and so naturally, he lowered his body to take a seat on the swing. Just then he heard a voice. It was a familiar voice lightly saying

“I wouldn’t do that if I were you”

Immediately his eyes shot open in the middle of the sitting process. He froze as his eyes met hers. His body stiffened with his bottom sitting on air, just inches away from the block of wood. His lips parted ways from the shock. She stared at him with the same gleaming eyes and the same smile. Her curly hair was longer and she was taller. Still fancies wearing dresses. She walked closer and brought him over away from the swing.

“It’s too old for you to sit there now”

Taemin was still staring at her. Her goddess –like beauty never seemed to have faded away throughout these years, not even a little. Her smile remained intact as she stared deep into his eyes. As she blinked, with her eyelashes closing and opening her brown eyes, it hit him back to reality. He blinked as well and straightened his body. He looked back at the swing and stared into space.

“It is old isn’t it? The river changed too”

He stared at her once more, examining her facial features. She grew from the last time he saw her. But it was still the same person. They stood in comfortable silence as Taemin sums up everything he saw today. Everything he felt today. Everything he observed today. Changes.

“I’ve been gone for too long”

“Mag…”

More silence built up between them. It felt good to say her name again and the feeling was mutual, she was glad to hear it coming from his mouth. Her smile changed to a tighter one as she lifts up her left hand, showing her pale skin with fingers parted. A particular finger seemed to be emphasized with pressure put on it. Pressure, along with something shining on it. Her ring finger.

“I think so too”

So lightly she said with a different smile. A smile that Taemin never knew. A smile that he didn’t like. Sadness was everything he saw in it. How can a smile, something so beautiful and meaningful look so heartbreaking? He stared at it, his eyes slightly trying to react but nothing could come out. Letting out a short breath, with eyes breaking down, he looked back at her face. For a short second a slight smile almost formed on his face, trying to convince him everything he’s seeing might just be a vivid dream-

-Nightmare

Silence filled between them but it wasn’t the same silence as before. Tense was all over it. Tense and shattered hearts. He didn’t even think of questioning, nor was he curious. Instead, he was disappointed. Disappointed in himself for being gone for far too long. Missing out where he should be, where possibly, he might end up being. She stood there with eyes still locked on Taemin who couldn’t seem to bring his face in front of her anymore, instead he looked down on the grass with furrowed eyebrows, and slowly tears were forming. But he held it back. Finally he looked back at her; staring for a whole minute, gazing into each other’s eyes. A smile formed itself again on her face. She tilted her head slightly, not breaking their intense gaze.

“Are you sad because you lost your shoe?”

She said as she brought out her right hand what it seemed to be his shoe that got carried away by the water. She looked down on the shoe for a moment and back to Taemin. Not for a second the presence of his shoe was ever acknowledgeable to him. He kept his eyes on her. She bit her lower lip with a hopeful expression. For three whole seconds, Taemin was staring into nothing as she was crouching down to place his shoe next to its partner. In those three seconds, he darted his eyes from one spot to another, not knowing where to land if it wasn’t her face again. She stood back up and met his eyes again. Just then, the wind blew, causing her hair to block her eyes. As expected from Taemin, she would brush it away with her right hand. As she brought her hand up, he grabbed it so suddenly, with nothing but softness. He touched her forehead with his other hand, running through the tip of his fingers on her forehead and brushed her hair away. During that short process, she kept her eyes closed, relieved to feel his touch again. He let their palms touch and slowly he slid his fingers into hers. Just their distil phalanges sliding into each other. She opened her eyes and looked at her right hand, meeting his left. For a few seconds which felt like hours, they stared at their hands, holding each other. Finally Taemin slid his all the way, touching her soft knuckles. She then changed her gaze to his face, which was still looking at his hand’s progress. He smiled slightly and looked at the corner of his eyes without turning his head. She smiled back and curved her fingers, touching the back of his hand. With that, he led her back to the outskirts of the meadow; walking to yet another familiar destination, hand in hand. He felt real ecstasy then and leaving his sponsored shoes behind with the old swing.