Seokjin asked his brother, “So I take it you’re sufficiently plied with food, drink, and comfort?”

Currently Jungkook was stretched out on Seokjin’s bed, a can of soda on the nearby bedside table, a bag of chips mere inches away, and a mound of pillows behind him. From Seokjin’s tiny kitchen the smell of something delicious, which would be Jungkook’s dinner in about a half hour, came drifting in.

Jungkook flashed him a thumbs up. “You’re officially the best big brother ever.”

From nearby Seokjin reached for a bag of gummies, tossed it to Jungkook, and tried not look smug.

“Seriously,” Jungkook said, “If this were an anime, I would have little hearts in my eyes right now. And I’d probably be calling you Sempai.”

Seokjin snorted, though he was secretly pleased, and he turned back to his wardrobe.

It was the night of the gala and he’d been in an intense staring match with the suit he was supposed to wear for several minutes. Seokjin wasn’t one to get dressed up often, and he remembered the suit had a tie. Dread was starting to build in Seokjin.

“I take it there’s a reason you let me come here, lounge around and bother you. You fed me even before hand, cooked me dinner, and are now giving me treats with a ton of sugar in them. Did I do something really bad and you’re trying to lull me into a false sense of security before you rip the rug out from under me and beat me with it?”

Seokjin laughed. “Can’t I just be a good big brother?”

“Yes,” Jungkook admitted, “but I’m still suspicious.”

Finally, Seokjin took the suit off the hanger and turned back to Jungkook saying, “Dad started blowing up my phone today.”

Jungkook, who’d been half reaching inside the nearby chip bag for a Dorito, froze. His eyes went almost hysterically wide. “Dad … called you …”

“Mm-hm.” Seokjin laid the suit out on the back of a nearby chair. “First, he wanted to complain about you, then he wanted to accuse me of having some part in it, then mostly he just wanted to yell.”

Almost at a whisper, Jungkook asked, “What did you say back?”

“Keep eating,” Seokjin commanded, pointing at the bag of chips. “I told dad you’re not a child. I said you’re eighteen now. You’re a man, and you’re free to make your own choices, your own mistakes, and forge your own path. I said I would support you, and that’s around the time things got really bad.”

“I’m sorry,” Jungkook said, frowning.

Seokjin told him, “I’m not. I’m only sorry you had to face him down and endure what I’ll assume wasn’t a very enjoyable time.”

“No.” Jungkook flopped back wholly on the bed. “It wasn’t great. There was a whole lot of screaming, like you said, accusations, some threats, and then he delivered what I think was supposed to be the finishing blow.”

“What was it?”

Jungkook said, “He told me if I wasn’t going to go to college, then he couldn’t support me anymore. He said I had to find a new place to live, get a job on my own, and support myself.”

Seokjin pointed out, “He said this after you already told him you have those things?”

“I didn’t give details,” Jungkook said with a nod. “But I let him know I’ve got an apartment, and I have a job that pays, and that I am supporting myself. I told him I’m happy where I am and what I’m doing, and that I don’t need his credit cards. I’m not sure he was listening in the least bit, and he probably expects me to come running home within a week.”

“Maybe he wants you to,” Seokjin mused. At the look on his brother’s face, he said, “You are the baby of the family, whether you like to admit it or not--other when you’re using it to your advantage in an argument. You’re our father’s baby in a lot of ways, and you leaving is the last straw. He’s coming home to an empty house these days.”

Jungkook didn’t look moved in the least. “He’s got his secretary who practically lives at the house, the actual housekeeper, and his driver. I don’t think he’ll run out of people to yell at.”

Seokjin shrugged. “Probably not. But like I said, you’re the last of his family to leave him, and that’s all he’s had in his life, one way or another.”

Jungkook chomped down on a chip. “I can’t believe you’re defending him.”

“I’m understanding him,” Seokjin corrected. “And one day you will too, when you’re older. You never have to agree with him, but you might start to understand him with time.”

Jungkook frowned.

“But,” Seokjin threw in, “I want you to know I’m really proud of you for going to him, being honest, and standing up to him. You’re not my kid brother anymore, you’re really a man.”

“Stop,” Jungkook wailed dramatically. “I can’t take it. Stop. You’re making things uncomfortable between us. Can you tease me instead?”

Seokjin cuffed Jungkook over the back of the head gently. “I’m never going to be that mean, cold brother you apparently always wanted. Deal with it.”

Jungkook cracked a smile.

Eventually, Seokjin figured it was the longest he was able to put off getting dressed. He had to pick up Victoria in an hour, and with any luck his brother would eat the dinner he’d made, watch TV, and stay out of trouble.

“Hey, can we talk about something else?” Jungkook asked.

Seokjin reached for his undershirt and slid it over his head, enjoying the feel of the crisp, clean fabric sliding over his skin. “You know you don’t have to ask me.”

Jungkook sat up and crossed his legs under him. “Are you and Rap Mon … what’s going on there? Are you guys fighting or something?”

Startled, Seokjin asked him, “Why?”

“It’s weird,” Jungkook insisted. “For a while there, Suga was saying that the two of you were going to run off and get married. I guess Rap Mon took you out on a date?”

Seokjin supposed the noodle house met some of the qualifications of a date. But nothing that came after that had been good. It all hurt less now, but it still was a burn. He hated how they’d parted, how Namjoon had given up so easily, and how Seokjin had thought it might work between for a half second.

“He took me to eat,” Seokjin said. “I kissed him. I liked him.”

“That’s weird.”

“Why?”

“Because he’s my boss and you’re my brother!” Jungkook burst out. “I mean, I would have gotten used to it, but it was weird when I first heard about it. Why didn’t you say anything?”

Seokjin questioned him, “You wanted me to talk to you about liking Namjoon? The first person I’ve liked in a very long time.”

“Point,” Jungkook conceded. “And I mean I guess I understand why you like him. He’s good looking, he’s strong and brave, and he’s pretty funny, too. Plus, he’s like super smart.”

“Smart?”

Jungkook nodded. “Jimin said J-Hope went to school with him, and apparently Rap Mon was always at the top of his class. And he even over performed in those nationwide tests. He could have gone to college anywhere, and he speaks English fluently—his accent isn’t that bad either. He’s really smart.”

That wasn’t exactly what Seokjin wanted to hear. He was just starting to ready himself to forget Namjoon forever. Now Jungkook was only adding to the reasons why Namjoon was the best potential partner Seokjin had had in forever.

“But something happened between you?” Jungkook guessed.

“Did Namjoon say something on his end?” Seokjin prayed Namjoon wasn’t exposing their personal business, even to the people he trusted the most.

“Yeah,” Jungkook said tensely.

As Seokjin was slipping his pants on, he said, “I really did like Namjoon. I guess I still like him. But we couldn’t come to an agreement on our relationship. He wanted one thing and I wanted another. It fell through before there was much there.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

Maybe it should have been a little uncomfortable talking to his brother about his love life, but Jungkook was earnest and frank as a person, so it didn’t feel awkward.

“He’s Bangtan’s leader,” Seokjin said, zipping up his black slacks. “I’m a doctor who works in the heart of Infinite’s territory, and apparently Infinite and Bangtan are having serious issues right now, for whatever reason. That makes all of this incredibly dangerous. Namjoon wanted to try and protect me … to … try and do things for me I don’t want. I let him know I have never needed to be protected, and that isn’t about to start any time soon. We couldn’t compromise.”

Jungkook said agreeably, “For a while I know Rap Mon had Jimin trailing you.”

“I told Namjoon the truth,” Seokjin said, next buttoning the dress shirt up. “I said that him trying to have members of Bangtan protect me from Infinite, was only drawing attention to my connection to Bangtan. I said he was making things more dangerous for us, and he decided that us being together, in a relationship, wasn’t something he wanted to do anymore.”

Namjoon had given some half-assed reason about continuing to protect him, but it really was bull in Seokjin’s opinion. And Namjoon’s reasoning for ending things between them had hurt more than the actual parting.

“That’s crazy,” Jungkook declared. “Who wouldn’t want to date you? Even if it was hard.”

Seokjin must have looked as surprised as he felt.

“You’re super-hot, Jin,” Jungkook proclaimed. “And you’re the best doctor ever. You’re nice to people, you cook really well, and you--”

“Jungkook,” Seokjin said softly. “I really liked Namjoon. I thought whatever risk or danger that was associated with him, was worth it. He didn’t feel the same. And considering you just had to deal with our father, I don’t think I have to tell you that you can’t force people to think the same as you.”

Jungkook blurted out, “Rap Mon said that you were off limits. He told everyone that we had to leave you alone and stay away from you. Except me, of course. But he told me I had to be extra careful and not draw attention to you, or to my connection to Bangtan.”

Seokjin sighed. “Nice to see he’s attempting to control things even when we’re not together.”

“He was really serious,” Jungkook said with some kind of wince. “I’ve never seen him like this before, Jin. He said that if any of Bangtan went around you, if they even just happened to pass by an area they knew you were in, they’d be out.”

“Out?” Seokjin echoed. “Out of what?”

Jungkook’s eyebrows ran high on his forehead. “Out of Bangtan.”
 

Seokjin’s mouth went dry.

“Has that ever happened before?”

Silently, Jungkook shook his head.

Once more Seokjin said, “He’s trying to protect me. That means he isn’t learning. Because if he was, if he was paying attention at all, he’d know that I’m not the kind of person who’s delicate or in need of that. I need him to trust and believe in me, to take chances with me, and to be patient with our relationship. Not this.”

Jungkook blew out a breath of air. “I think he thinks you’re delicate. He was asking me, you know. About your heart.”

Seokjin groaned. “That’s my fault.”

His condition wasn’t exactly anything he went around advertising. People who knew tended to either treat him as if he was incredibly fragile, or as if he could somehow give them the condition he’d been born with. In any case, it was better to only share his medical issues with his closest friends.

He’d only let the matter slip with Namjoon because he’d been upset and angry. He hadn’t meant to guilt trip or motivate Namjoon in any way. He’d just wanted to drive home his point that he was old enough now, and aware enough of his condition, that he was going to do what he wanted. He was going to love who he wanted, save who he could, and take all the risks in the world.

“Did you tell him anything?”

Jungkook shot him a dark look. “Give me some credit, big brother.”

Seokjin felt ease at once. “I know. Okay.”

“I just said,” Jungkook told him, “that it was something you were born with. I said you had never let it bring you down, it didn’t stop you from doing your job in any way, and if he wanted to know more, he should ask you personally.”

Seokjin crossed the short distance between them, curled his fingers around the back of Jungkook’s neck, and brought their foreheads together. “Thank you.”

“So?” Jungkook asked when they parted. “Is that it then? That’s it between the two of you?”

Seokjin put the tie behind his neck and straightened the two ends in front of him. “That’s what Namjoon decided. It’s not what I want, but I also don’t know anymore if I want to be with someone who isn’t willing to fight for something that could be so good.”

Jungkook reasoned, “Maybe he’s just scared.”

“Maybe,” Seokjin said as he fussed with his tie, “Namjoon should consider other people’s feelings, and not be so selfish. I’m only going to live once, and that’s the same thing that can be said for everyone else. Sure, some things in life are risky, and other things aren’t worth it. But the older I get, Jungkook, the more is start to realize that if you’re going to take a risk on something, the thing most worthy of that is another person.”

Jungkook rolled off the bed as Seokjin gave a frustrated sound and pulled his tie away.

“Here,” his brother said, standing in front of him and expertly tying it.

“How do you even know how to tie a tie?”

Jungkook smiled. “You’d be surprised the kind of useless information and skills I pick up running things around for Bangtan.”

Thirty seconds later when Seokjin took a look in the mirror, a respectable looking man with a perfectly tied tie was staring back at him.

“You look good,” Jungkook said confidently. “Everyone will be throwing themselves at you tonight.”

“I wish they’d throw their pocketbooks at me instead,” Seokjin retorted.

Jungkook brushed invisible dirt off Seokjin’s shoulder. “You’ll get the money to keep the clinic running. I know you’ll manage. You always do.”

Seokjin couldn’t help smiling a little. Jungkook’s optimism was appreciated.

For a while longer Seokjin was able to linger, enjoying the company of his brother.

The meal he’d prepared came out of the oven, and while Jungkook ate quickly and with sounds of appreciation, Seokjin went over the lines he’d be delivering that night in the hopes that someone would want to invest in the clinic.

Eventually, however, Seokjin knew he had to leave to pick up Victoria.

“You can stay as long as you want,” Seokjin assured Jungkook who was laid out on the sofa, rubbing his stuffed stomach dramatically. “You can stay all night and leave tomorrow morning. I don’t mind. But if you do go, use the side door, okay? Don’t go through the clinic. I don’t want you setting off the alarm by mistake.”

Jung gave him a salute, wished him luck, and then turned back to the show on the TV.

For the event that night, Seokjin had borrowed Jonghyun’s car. He’d gotten the keys in exchange for working on Sunday, which was normally his day off, so Jonghyun could have the day instead. Considering things with Jungkook had settled down, and things with Namjoon had ended, it didn’t seem like such a huge sacrifice to make. It wasn’t as if he had anything else to do, other than a little grocery shopping that could be done at any time.

And as far as cars went, not that Seokjin was much of a judge, the blue tinted sedan was nice enough. Mostly Seokjin just cared if it would serve its purpose of getting himself and Victoria to and from the gala.

To pick up Victoria, Seokjin had to drive almost completely across Seoul, which took longer than he’d anticipated due to the weekend traffic.

It also didn’t escape his notice that Victoria’s residence was near where Seokjin had grown up, in one of the most premier, gated communities. Seokjin looked the part in his car and suit, but he certainly didn’t feel it. And he was uncomfortable being so close to the house he hadn’t visited since he was nineteen.

“I thought you got scared and changed your mind,” Victoria remarked when she buzzed him into her apartment. She looked absolutely gorgeous in her midnight blue, thigh length dress. It was cut very flattering to her figure, and with her hair styled, makeup done to perfection, and decorative jewels in place, Seokjin was certain he was going to have the most gorgeous woman at the gala on his arm.

“I didn’t,” Seokjin assured her, guiding her back to the car a short distance away. “It’s just been so long since I drove anywhere, I forgot to anticipate the traffic. We’ll make it on time, but I’m a little embarrassed.”

By the time they arrived at the hospital and Seokjin passed the keys to the car off to the valet, the party was in full swing. They weren’t late by any stretch of the imagination, but a good deal of the guests were already there and mingling.

He could do this, Seokjin told himself, he could manage one night around people who were technically his peers. He wasn’t inferior to them in any way, and he had nothing to be nervous about.

Of course, just as he and Victoria were accepting flutes of champagne Victoria observed, “You look nervous.”

Seokjin had to admit, “It’s been a long time since I’ve been around this many other doctors.” All of them who were constantly progressing their careers and publishing medical articles. While Seokjin slaved away at his tiny little clinic, barely making end’s meet.

They did a full circuit of the room, politely introducing themselves here and there, and then Victoria asked, “You never considered working at a hospital like this?”

Seokjin drank down at least half his champagne. “I did once,” he told her, and it wasn’t a lie. “When I first started my residency, I thought that this was the place I wanted to be. This type of hospital, the kind that’s on the cutting edge of new technology, and the forefront of new procedures, appealed to me in many ways. But that was before I understood the logistics of the medical world. That was before I realized all the new treatments I was helping to develop, wouldn’t reach a faction of the people who needed them, at this kind of hospital.”

Before Victoria could respond, and Seokjin hoped he hadn’t made her feel uncomfortable in any way, someone was calling his name.

Seokjin blinked in surprise at the sight of his old friend rushing towards him.

“Minhyuk,” Seokjin greeted him quickly, and then laughed when he was swept up into a tight hug. He regained his senses a second later and introduced, “Victoria, this is one of my oldest friends, Minhyuk. We did our residencies at the same time and were close.”

Minhyuk, who’d always been such a free spirit that Seokjin had envied him greatly, gave Victoria a bow and said, “I have no idea how Seokjin managed to snag you, but I’m honored to meet you. Also, do you have a sister?”

“Victoria is a friend and a neurosurgeon,” Seokjin said, clearing his throat. “She’s smarter than the both of us put together. Chew on that.”

“Oh!” Minhyuk bowed even more deeply than the first time.

Victoria brushed the comments off. “I’m new to Seoul. Seokjin was kind enough to invite me along to meet some of the doctors in the area.”

Minhyuk looked skeptical. “Seokjin is about as social as a recluse.”

Seokjin rolled his eyes. “Not all of us can run off to Nepal and live out of our backpack for years.”

That was, at least, the last Seokjin had heard of him. Minhyuk had joined Doctors Without Boarders, sold almost everything he owned, and had given up many of the possible fellowships coming his way in the future. He’d gone off to work as a doctor in underdeveloped countries, and places in desperately need of basic medical help.

“What are you even doing back in Seoul?” Seokjin asked, astounded. He’d thought for sure that when Minhyuk had set off for Nepal, everything he owned in his backpack, that it would be the last time Seokjin saw him.

Victoria touched Seokjin’s arm lightly and said, “I’m going to let you two catch up.”

“You can stay,” Seokjin said right away, hoping she’d enjoy Minhyuk’s company.

She nodded towards a light cluster of people near ceiling to floor windows. “I’m going to head over there and check out our first possible sponsors.”

She wandered off without so much as a glance back and Minhyuk asked once more for certainty, “She doesn’t have a sister? Seriously?”

Seokjin only smiled. “It’s really good to see you, Minhyuk. Now, really, what are you doing back in Seoul?”

The taller doctor offered, “My older sister is getting married. Her boyfriend just finished his military service and he’s asked her to marry him. With our parents gone, I have to be here to help her.”

Slowly, as Minhyuk talked, and the time passed, Seokjin started to relax more and more. Alcohol helped, and Victoria, who was working the crowd over like a politician, was a force to be reckoned with.

Seokjin did his part, too. He found the least threatening people, leaving the tigers to Victoria, and spent the next several hours explaining the purpose of his clinic, and more than that, his dream for it.

Minhyuk, who was actually at the event to support a cousin of his, seemed to join in for the fun of it, selling Seokjin’s clinic like it was his own.

As the night began to wind down, with Seokjin having drunk more than he thought was smart, and having secured several promises from prominent people to look into the clinic, Seokjin was tentatively declaring the night over and a success.

He, Victoria, and Minhyuk stumbled their way out into the warmth of the early September night that was lingering in the foyer before the exit, Victoria carrying her heels in one hand and Minhyuk insisting they go to a nearby bar.

“You can’t be serious,” Seokjin told him, his head spinning a little. Because of his medication alcohol was typically off the table unless he planned for it ahead of time. But he’d predicted that the event would include plenty of alcohol, so he’d forgone his medication that day. He’d certainly be fine until he got back to his home, but it wasn’t something he could make a routine out of. “It’s late.”

Minhyuk scoffed. “The morning is young, and so are we.”

Victoria protested, “Not that young.”

Minhyuk insisted, “We’re young and pretty. Let’s go get drinks. I’ll even pay. Victoria, my new friend, tell me you want to go home to that sleeping husband of yours and I won’t say another word. Or, if you want to go get some soju and sing some karaoke, you come with me now.” He held out his hand like he was expecting her to accept before she said anything.

Surprisingly, Victoria seemed to be weakening.

Seokjin couldn’t bring himself to blame her. Minhyuk was impossibly charming. He’d worked his way through half of their residency group by the time they were in their second year.

“Okay,” Victoria said finally. “But just for a few hours! And only because I don’t have a shift at the clinic until the afternoon.”

“Seokjin?” Minhyuk demanded. “Are you going to be our wet blanket?”

Like Victoria, Seokjin knew that he didn’t have a morning shift, either. He wasn’t scheduled to go in until noon, but that didn’t mean when he did show up for his shift, that he wanted to be suffering from a hangover.

“Actually,” a new voice cut in, deep and tentative, “I was hoping Seokjin might want to come with me instead.”

Seokjin turned so quickly he got a little dizzy, and he could hardly believe that Namjoon was standing in front of him.

Namjoon, looking dashingly handsome in his own suit, cufflinks shining under the florescent light, was looking over at him with a pinch of nervousness, but a whole lot of hopefulness. His hair was slicked back in a stylish, debonair way, and he looked like someone’s prince charming. God, and the smile, it was still the smile that was getting Seokjin.

“How … why …” Seokjin didn’t know where to start.

“Hi,” Namjoon said, smiling a little. “You look nice.”

“How did you know where I was?” Seokjin asked, unable to concentrate on anything but Namjoon standing in front of him. “And how did you get in here?”

Namjoon put his hands in his pockets and said, “After your brother got done yelling at me for being an idiot and selfish, he told me where the hospital party was that you went to. I came right here.” He plucked at his suit jacket, which looked a slight bit too small on him and added, “The trick to getting in anywhere, is looking like you belong. And confidence.”

Minhyuk took a step up next to Seokjin, his own stance defensive. Seokjin knew Minhyuk would help him out if he indicated for even a second he wanted Namjoon to go away.

“Can we talk?” Namjoon asked.

A little childish, and fueled by alcohol, Seokjin asked, “Are you sure you wouldn’t prefer to decide that for me?”

The smile fell completely from Namjoon’s face and he said, “Yeah, I deserved that. But give me a chance anyway?”

“Seokjin?” Victoria asked.

Seokjin was absolutely kidding himself if he tried to pretend like he wasn’t going to do what Namjoon was asking.

“You two go ahead to the bar,” Seokjin said, turning to Minhyuk and Victoria. “Text me the address and I’ll join you as soon as I can.”

She hesitantly accepted them. “Are you certain?”

Seokjin glanced back to Namjoon, then nodded. Not matter what came out of whatever they were about to talk about, it was probably best that they got it out of the way and done with.

“I parked around the corner,” Namjoon said when Seokjin came to stand next to him. “Want to get some ice cream?”

Seokjin asked skeptically, “At one in the morning?”

“I know a place,” Namjoon said confidently.

Once more, Seokjin let himself be taken all the way into Bangtan territory. Seokjin didn’t know what to think of the move, or the utter silence in the car.

In fact, neither of them had anything to say until Namjoon was setting bowls of ice cream down in front of them. For such a ridiculous hour, the ice cream shop was at least halfway full, and the sounds of the other patrons were enough to cover their own conversation.

“So, I’m an idiot,” Namjoon said. Seokjin had gotten coffee flavored ice cream and Namjoon had something that looked like mango. Namjoon wasn’t really eating it, merely dragging his spoon through it, and for the first time Seokjin realized he was probably just as nervous. “That’s what your brothers says.”

“A lot of things come out Jungkook’s mouth that aren’t worth listening to,” Seokjin said slowly, taking a small bite of his ice cream. It was exceptionally good. “But in this case …”

“You’re inclined to believe him?”

Seokjin didn’t give a real reply. And neither did he apologize for anything his brother had said.

Instead he said, “I didn’t think I’d see you again. Not on purpose. You were pretty clear when you said you were done with me.”

“Yeah.” Namjoon hung his head. “Here’s the thing. I spend every day, all day, deciding things. And I have to decide them in the most selfless way I can think of. Most of the time I’m pretty sure I’m getting it right. But then something comes along that just rocks my world completely, makes me question everything, and this time around, it was you.”

Seokjin admitted, “I wasn’t exactly expecting to find myself interested in the gang leader for Bangtan, especially with my little brother getting involved.”

“I thought I was being selfless with you,” Namjoon told him.

“You weren’t,” Seokjin said pointedly.

Namjoon nodded deeply. “I know. I was being selfish, actually. I was really, I guess there’s no point in denying it now, trying to protect myself from what I was feeling for you. Don’t get me wrong, the idea of you getting hurt terrified me, and still does. But I have never cared for someone the way I feel myself caring for you, and I was terrified that something would happen and my heart would break.”

Feeling a little stronger, Seokjin took a bigger bite of his ice cream. “What changed your mind?”

“Your scary brother,” Namjoon said right away.

“I didn’t send him after you like a bulldog,” Seokjin was clear to say.

Namjoon waved him off. “I know you didn’t. I know you’re not that kind of person. But you guys talked today? He told me what he thought about it all, how stupid and selfish I was being, and how I was hurting you.”

Seokjin set his spoon down and loosened his tie. “You know, Namjoon, it’s okay to be scared once in a while.”

“Rap Mon,” Namjoon reminded, kindly.

Seokjin continued on, “I get the feeling that you don’t let yourself be scared very often.”

“It kind of defeats the purpose of the job I have,” Namjoon said, “if I get scared over things.”

“But you’re human,” Seokjin argued. “And especially when we’re talking matters of the heart, it’s okay to be unsure or scared. Everything about trusting other people not to break your heart is scary. It should be. And that’s nothing to be ashamed of.”

Namjoon reached across the table to capture one of Seokjin’s hands. “But what kind of comparison is breaking my heart, to you getting broken worse than that? If anyone in Infinite found out how much I care for you, or even a fraction of that, they’d use it against us in a second. They’d try to hurt me by using you, and they’d succeed.”

Seokjin let himself squeeze Namjoon’s fingers securely. “Infinite doesn’t scare me. I think what they do is brutish and thuggish and deplorable. They use fear tactics and intimidation and that makes them overgrown bullies. I refuse to be sacred of bullies.” He added with a laugh. “And trust me, in the fear department, Infinite is nothing compared to when I took my medical boards. I’d face down Sunggyu and his thugs any day over the peer review board that certified me.”

“You don’t have to fear a threat for it to still be one,” Namjoon argued softly. “And that threat, even if you don’t fear it, will break you to get at me.”

Without any sort of warning, Seokjin leaned over the table to place a gentle, chaste kiss on Namjoon’s lips. He didn’t pull back right away, asking, “What do you feel when I do that?” He kissed Namjoon one more time for good measure.

Namjoon in air audibly. “I feel … like I’d do anything to have you kiss me again.”

“No reward,” Seokjin said, “is worth obtaining if there isn’t risk involved. Right now I can’t fix the risk associated with us being together. I can’t move the clinic, I can’t abandon it, and you can’t do either with Bangtan. And I can’t say that things won’t be like this for a long time. I just don’t know. But when I kiss you, when I feel you against me, I realize what was missing before that.”

Namjoon’s large hand carded up into the hair at Seokjin’s nape, and then he was tugging Seokjin in for a much deeper kiss.

It was sweet and wonderful and the kind of kiss that Seokjin hadn’t had forever. There was no pressure to it, no pretense, and he could simply lose himself in the sensation without having to worry about anything.

“I’m sorry,” Namjoon said, putting the barest hint of distance between them. His breath was ghosting over Seokjin’s lips. “I tried to control the situation without realizing I was trying to control you. I was wrong. I’m sorry.”

Seokjin’s fingers brushed against the pulse point at Namjoon’s throat. “It’s been a long time since someone tried to look after me. I didn’t react in the best way.”

Head tilting, Namjoon kissed him much deeper, ignoring the people in the shop, even ignoring the world around them completely.

“I’m scared,” Namjoon snuck out. “I’m scared of how you make me feel. I’m scared of losing you. I’m scared of the world ripping apart the one good thing I have going for me.”

“Well,” Seokjin decided, bumping his head gently against Namjoon’s, “you help me feel a little less scared, a little more courageous, so maybe I can help you do the same.”

“Can’t hurt to try,” Namjoon confessed.

Namjoon wanted to try. And Seokjin, he was so thankful for it, he could have wept. He settled for leaning over the table for another, deeply passionate kiss, this time with the pressure of his tongue on Namjoon’s teeth and all the intent in the world.

“Boys,” the shop owned called out, startling Namjoon visibly and making Seokjin blush. The owner, an older looking man who didn’t seem too upset, offered, “take it outside, will you? My shop is for ice cream, not kissing.”

Seokjin let out a laugh and Namjoon had him by the wrist again, leaving their ice cream behind as he tugged them from the store at a jog.

“I feel like Superman when I’m with you,” Namjoon said, kissing Seokjin again the second they were outside the shop. “You make me feel like I can do anything. You make me so happy.”

Seokjin wrapped his arms around Namjoon’s neck hugging him tightly. He asked, “I’m not tired. Are you?”

Namjoon said in a cracking voice, “My apartment isn’t far from here. You want to go?”

Seokjin caught Namjoon’s lips with his own in reply.