Caught In A Lie

 

 

“I shouldn’t be calling you again. I’m sorry. I just don’t know what to do. I’m sorry.”

 

“Don’t you start crying. I’ll come to you. Where are you now?”

 

“I’m at the convenience store where we first met You don’t have to come. I’m okay.”

“Stay there. I’m on my way.”

 

 

I love it when you call me. And I hate it when you call me while on the brink of tears. But I hate it more if you didn’t call me so I guess this is fine. Although honestly I know this isn’t right.

When I finally get to where you were, your tears were ready to fall. And as I held you close and place your head gently on my chest, the tears start to fall, soaking up the front of my shirt.

I hate seeing you like this but I’m glad that you called for me.

It’s my selfish need and it’ll destroy me in the end.

Cause you aren’t mine.

Will you ever be mine?

It’s killing me on the inside. But I can’t act on it.

Wouldn’t you be happier with me?

Why can’t you be with me?

I’m guilty. I shouldn’t be doing this. I have to push you away. I have to give you up even though you weren’t mine in the first place.

I need to stop doing this to myself and to you.

 

You shouldn’t be with me if you’re still going back to him.

But why am I still hugging you close?

 

Maybe this time.

 

Maybe she’ll stay with me.

 

Maybe this time, my hopes won’t be in vain.

 

I can’t let you go,

 

Please stay with me.