It’s surprising to see how things can change rapidly just in a few weeks. One day you are just an ordinary senior high school student, doing the usual stuff that you’ve been doing for years, and the other you graduated and you’re immersed in a whole new world. So what? Everybody’s been through this. But there are days when you can’t just help but think so hard about it, about you, about your future.

This is what was happening to Ten. Just one year ago Ten couldn’t wait for the day of his graduation from high school, despite he was concerned about the final exams, he used to daydream so much about his future life. Who wouldn’t after all? It’s the moment that marks the beginning of a new era for you, the beginning of your real life. Ten decided to go on with his studies and to enter the university, but now that everything was over and that the so expected period has come his feelings are just so confused. All of sudden Ten’s life is immersed in endless researches on no sense websites, different documents to check, papers to sign,stupid ID photos to take and continuous e-mails to send and to receive everyday just to sign up.

He can’t help but feel so under pressure and stressed, but the more he feels that way the more he feels so stupid and childish. Come on, how can he feel so bad and freak out over something so ordinary? He’s neither the first nor the last to do it. The lessons haven’t started yet and he can’t take it already. How can he pretend to go on if he acts like this? Maybe this moment came earlier than Ten expected. He cries quite often because of that, overacting a bit, maybe, but sometimes the pressure is just too much, just like yesterday.

It was only 6am but Ten couldn’t sleep, there was too much in his head. After turning on his bed for like a million times he decided to stand up. He knew that the lack of sleep won’t help, but he needed to distract himself to fight the forming tears which were already making his eyes burn. Since it was pretty early he just decided to go online and read some old stupid group chats, they can be pretty hilarious sometimes. What Ten didn’t know was that there was someone else awake at that time. A certain someone that means life and more for Ten.

For Johnny being awake early isn’t unusual, he recently started to work in a bakery, and because of it he’s forced to be up at pretty early hours. It became an everyday routine that makes him wake up at dawn even during his days off. Just like yesterday. Still wrapped in blankets he quickly checked his phone as usual immediately noticing something strange. What was doing his boyfriend awake at 6am? His sleepyhead boyfriend to be precise.

He stared with a confused look at his phone’s screen for about a minute, wondering how to act. He knew under how much stress has been Ten lately, seeing his usually cheerfull and dorky boyfriend in this state was so heartbreaking. Johnny couldn’t help but feel so helpless sometimes.. Ten, his Ten means the world to him. He just wanted him to know how much he loves him, that he’ll always be by his side, and that together they are gonna fight all the pressure that his boyfriend is feeling.

 

He decided to text him and to take action.

From : Chicago oppa :3
To : Chittaprrrrr <3
Why is Sleeping beauty awake at such an early hour?

By the time Johnny texted him Ten had already started crying. He was lying again on his bed while the sudden vibration of his phone startled him.

He blinked a couple of times before focusing on the received message, his sad expression immediately changed into a big smile when he read who was the sender. He let out a giggle after reading the cheesy nickname.. well, it wasn’t so different from the reality actually.

Ten needed Johnny so much at that moment, he’s everything he needs to be happy. By the way he knew how much Johnny helped and have been patient and caring with him lately. Ok, he’s his boyfriend, but he didn’t want to disturb him for every single bad day he has.. But he couldn’t help that.. He needed Johnny’s warmth so bad. But wait, it was just a few minutes after 6am, he thought that it was a day off for Johnny.

From : Chittaprrrrr <3
To : Chicago oppa :3
Well… I can ask you the same fool. Isn’t today your day off?

From : Chicago oppa :3
To : Chittaprrrrr <3
Don’t you dare to change topic.. I asked first 

Well.. he had to expect this.

From : Chittaprrrrr <3
To : Chicago oppa :3
….. fine fine. I can’t sleep that’s all..

It wasn’t a surprise actually, and of course Johnny knew what there was behind his boyfriend’s sudden insomnia.

From : Chicago oppa :3
To : Chittaprrrrr <3
Is my babe stressed again? 

From : Chittaprrrrr <3
To : Chicago oppa :3
You know.. 

Johnny realised that it was time to do something, he couldn’t stay blocked on his bed anymore, not with his love so sad to the other side of the phone. He knew what could make Ten feels better.
From : Chicago oppa :3
To : Chittaprrrrr <3
Wanna meet?

From : Chittaprrrrr <3
To : Chicago oppa :3
Yes, please..

From : Chicago oppa :3
To : Chittaprrrrr <3
Sure babe, at the bench in 10 minutes 

From : Chittaprrrrr <3
To : Chicago oppa :3
Ok, thanks

From : Chicago oppa :3
To : Chittaprrrrr <3
Ten?

From : Chittaprrrrr <3
To : Chicago oppa :3
Yes?

From : Chicago oppa :3
To : Chittaprrrrr <3
I love you <3

Ten could feel his heart skipping a beat while he started to blush a bit. It’s been 3 years since they started to date, but Ten’s reaction at every Johnny’s “I love you” will always be the same.

From : Chittaprrrrr <3
To : Chicago oppa :3
I love you too Johnny <3

Since they live in the same neighbourhood when there was the sudden need of a meeting, like the yesterday’s one, it’s pretty easy for them to meet in no time. It’s a pretty nice zone where to live, just a few minutes away from a little but very nice river.

The meeting place is always the same. There’s that bench in a tucked-away corner by the riverside which is more or less halfway from their houses, all surrounded by trees. It’s there that they had their first kiss, and from that moment it became their little secret place.

Doesn’t it sound like a perfect place where to pass some time alone after all? Hidden and quiet, a little angle where they can just do what they want or what they need whenever they prefer. Talking, kissing, even cuddling or just passing some time staying silent and just enjoying each others company. That’s why it was even more perfect if one of them need some comfort.

It was 6.20am when Johnny arrived at the bench. Ten has been already there for a couple of minutes, sitting and waiting for his loved one to come. He immediately turned his head after hearing footsteps from behind, just to see his boyfriend smiling warmly at him.

Ten eyes were still a little bit teary, so the moment his eyes met Johnny’s he managed to wipe the tears away quickly. Johnny noticed immediately, well it wasn’t a surprise actually. In a second he was by Ten’s side, hugging him close with his strong arms.

“I’m here babe, I’m here.” He said in a reassuring way.

Being in Johnny’s arms felt so good, as always, buy Ten couldn’t help but start crying harder. Johnny hugged his boyfriend, who was now sobbing on his chest, thighter. “Hey hey Ten, baby! Please don’t cry. Shhh… everything’s ok now, I’m here for you.”

Since Johnny knew that Ten wouldn’t stop crying soon, he decided that comforting him was the best thing to do to calm him down. He peeked Ten’s head while starting to his now trembling back sweetly. He kept doing this for a while while whispering comforting words in his ears from time to time. After a few minutes Ten finally calmed down, just relaxing in the warmth of Johnny’s arms.

“I’m not ready for it Hyung..” Ten broke the silence still curled up on Johnny’s chest. “Mh?” was his boyfriend answer. “I’m just so stupid, so childish!” Said Ten with a trembling voice while finally lifting his head up to meet Johnny’s eyes for the second time on that morning.

“Babe no don’t say that.. “ The whole scene was just so heartbreaking for Johnny, he wasn’t sure yet on what to say to Ten. “You are not stup-“

“YES I AM HYUNG!”

Ten snapped suddenly, standing up and lefting Johnny seated on the bench with wide eyes, surprised by his boyfriend unexpected reaction.

“How long I waited for this moment to come Hyung? How long? It’s been a while since I started to dream about finally being able to take control of my life, to dream about being able to study something I love, something that will let me be what I dream, what I want to be in the future. I wanted it so bad, the start of my real life, the beginning of something that will let me be who I really am. And now? ”

Ten’s voice tone went down during the last sentence.

“Look at me now. Stressed out over something so ordinary.. How I’m supposed to make it? It took weeks just to sing up, there was so much to do, I haven’t started the lessons yet and I’m already freaking out! Like.. come on! I’m scared, scared that I could fail, it’s a total new world for me. I don’t really know what to expect Hyung.. I want it so bad.. I don’t wanna ruin everything. Maybe this moment came to early, it seemed so distant before, like it was never gonna come, and now here it is. Everything exploded on me too suddenly. I don’t know why I’m reacting like this. I’m so confused. I can just feel stupid right now..”

He sighed loudly before going on.

“You know what? I’m just pathetic, I’m a kid scared of growing up. A kid who has been paying the “Being an adult game” since.. well, since forever . And now, now that it’s not a game anymore, now that it became the reality well, he can’t deal with it anymore. A mature guy, yeah, sure.. Such a coward “

Ten sighed again, tears falling down his cheeks. He stared at Johnny for a while before turning to face the river, breathing heavily.

 

All of sudden there were a pair of arms hugging him from behind.

Johnny couldn’t wait for another second, he immediately stood up to back hug Ten holding him tightly. Without making another move he started to talk.

“Five years ago when I moved here from Chicago I was really frustrated. I was having a hard time getting in touch with people, I was alone and everyone seemed to be so close minded. The whole atmosphere was just so hopeless. But a few months later I met this guy, this guy who immediately struck me, and everything changed. I would need my entire life to explain what impressed me about him. His shines eyes, his warm and healing smile, he was beautiful that’s sure. But what struck me more of him was his incredible positivity and tenancy. His joy of living was so contagious, nothing could stop him from doing what he wanted and to realise his dreams. He has always overcome difficulties and helped me to do it as well. “

Ten’s breathe became slower, he started to calm down a bit.

“Three years ago this guy’s brightness started to be part of my life completely. He became my boyfriend, my life, and I love him more and more everyday. His strength is still here, but he can be insecure and concerned sometimes, just like me, just like everyone.
”
After this last sentence Johnny turned Ten to face him and to look him in the eyes, his shines eyes, hands on his boyfriend’s shoulders.

“Babe, when we are gonna face a big life change is perfectly ordinary to be at least a bit scared. Especially if we’re gonna do something that will decide our future and what we want to be. You’re everything but stupid right now.. I know how are you feeling. Everything is new for you, all of sudden you feel disoriented, knocked into a different world after years of doing the same stuff everyday. Being under pressure and stressed is understandable.. and also being concerned. But this concern Ten is also the sign that you really care about what you’re gonna do, that you’re not acting no sense and that you want to have success on your future decisions.”

Before going on Johnny took Ten’s hands, holding them tightly.

“Babe, I know how much you waited for this to come, and I know that you are gonna overcome this moment like you always did in the past. You’re the strongest person I’ve ever met. I know what you’re worth and that you are gonna do great. And don’t forget that you’ve me. I’ll be there supporting you everyday, I’ll never let you fall. I love you Ten and I want just the best for you. Everything will be ok”

 

“I don’t know what I did to deserve someone like you by my side” Ten said while squeezing Johnny’s hands even tighter. Before he could say anything else Johnny had already closed the little space that there was between them by kissing him sweetly.

They kissed for a while before returning to sit on the bench while holding each other again.
“Thank you Johnny, really. You’re my rock” Ten interrupted the silence.

“Anything for my baby” Johnny replied. “So, wanna go have breakfast?”

“Sounds cool”

 

“Good, let’s go Chittaprrrrr”

“WHA- Hey! Again?” Ten cringed immediately after hearing the old nickname.

Johnny couldn’t help but start laughing at his boyfriend reaction. After joking for a bit they left their bench hand by hand, enjoying together the cool breeze of September.

Even though Ten was still a bit concerned about his near future, after talking to his lovely boyfriend he was feeling so much better. No matter what, Johnny was and will always be there for him to cheer him up and to help him go over all his difficulties.

Changes can be scary, but with Johnny by his side things seem so much easier.

Ten knows that with Johnny by his side nothing would never scare him.

 

With Johnny by his side he can do anything.