Yerim decided that she would just go as far
But she wondered how she’d feel afterwards. Would she feel empty, for letting some stranger take her ity, someone she’d never see after tonight and had no other feelings for than attraction? Didn’t she want it to mean more even if that meant waiting longer? But it felt so good to have her lips connected on Sooyoung’s, to have her hands entangled in her red strands and the taste of her strawberry lip balm on her tongue.
But she wasn’t stupid and she had known from the moment that they had gone upstairs that Sooyoung was in it for more, and she wasn’t talking about a French kiss. The thing was that she had no idea how far she was willing to take it herself. Experiencing everything for the first time was as thrilling as it was scary. Part of her wanted to do it, basically because she didn’t know when the next opportunity would come and with whom she would be lying in bed. Sooyoung seemed to be perfect; someone she’d never see again and a girl she had a connection with, or so it felt. She was adorable and attractive and knew obviously what to do, unlike Yerim.
The room was dark because the curtains were closed, but Sooyoung’s red hair and lips were just distinguishable in the semi-darkness. Yerim was occupied by trying to get a view of the room, but she wasn’t able to recognize more than two beds, two desks and a large closet before Sooyoung pulled her closer by her waist and pressed her lips to hers again. Yerim’s eyes fluttered shut and she kissed her back willingly. She could feel the redhead smile against her lips right before she tapped her lower lip with her tongue. Yerim opened up willingly and experienced her first French kiss with a semi-drunk goddess in a sorority house. It was a memory to cherish.
“I don’t know. And even if she wasn’t, wouldn’t that be more exciting?” Sooyoung laughed. The redhead opened the door and dragged Yerim inside.
“You share a room with Seulgi?” Yerim asked. “Is she okay that you-”
“Don’t even try to make a clever remark. Seulgi drew it to keep people out of our room.”
“Is that you?” Yerim asked with a chuckle, pointing at the drawing that was unmistakenly a copy of Sooyoung. The girl rolled her eyes and tugged at her hand.
They passed half a dozen of doors until they stopped in front of another door. This one had another sign which read: ‘If you get in here, you’ll definitely die!’. There was a badly drawn puppet next to it with long, red hair, horns and a devil’s tail.
Sooyoung flashed her a cheeky smile before she intertwined her fingers with Yerim again. The redhead led her further down the hall. The lights were dimmed, which gave it an almost creepy look. Yerim didn’t feel scared at all, though. Sooyoung’s hand in hers had something comforting.
“I think I’m allowed to get in. I live here, after all,” she said, winking. The redhead opened the door and pulled Yerim in behind her, closing it carefully once they had both gotten through.
“Are we supposed to get in here?” Yerim asked. Sooyoung turned around and laughed.
Before Yerim had time to process what was going on, she was pulled out of the dancing crowd and up the stairs. When they rushed through the house, she noticed Wendy and the other two brunettes laugh and point at them, whispering to each other. Sooyoung shot them a bright smile and Yerim clumsily waved, before Sooyoung pulled her around a corner. They stopped at a door with a self-made ‘Keep out or you’ll die’ sign. It was decorated with skulls and knives and a perky drawing of a stick puppet dying whilst opening a door.
“Come on, I want to show you something,” she said.
When the need of oxygen became too much, they had to let each other go. Sooyoung’s dark eyes were filled with need when they opened their eyes. The moment their lips detached, Sooyoung started to grin. She let Yerim’s hair go and took her hand, intertwining their fingers.
The tingling in her belly became so intense that it almost felt like she was going to burst. In order to try and get her body under control, Yerim shoved herself closer against the redhead, which caused her to smile against the blonde’s lips.
“I think I already know,” she muttered. Her grip on Sooyoung’s hips strengthened, pulling the other girl those last few inches to her until there was no space left between their bodies. Sooyoung laughed and curled her right hand in her hair. The other cupped her face and lifted it. When the redhead bowed down, Yerim got up on her toes to meet her. Their lips met softly. The kiss deepened almost immediately and Yerim blamed the alcohol, the music and Sooyoung’s astonishing beauty for that. She curled her arms around her waist and she enjoyed the feeling of Sooyoung’s hand entangled in her hair, keeping it out of her their faces whilst they kissed.
Yerim smiled and rose her eyebrows playfully.
“It is. My friends must think I’m crazy,” she admitted. “I could have had anyone in this room. Aren’t you curious why I picked you?”
“Isn’t it a bit scandalous to dance with a high schooler like me?” she asked her. A small, endearing smile had formed on her lips. Sooyoung laughed, which caused her eye-smile to return.
But the longer they danced like that, the easier it became for Yerim to tag along to Sooyoung’s moves. She started to feel more comfortable and eventually was able to tease the redhead back.
It wasn’t necessarily the attraction that confused her – she had always known that girls were pretty and that she was probably biual – but more that this was her first time doing something like this. Going to parties, drinking, dancing with someone so close that their perfume made you dizzy… It was all new to her. On top of that, she had had zero contact with girls that went outside the platonic boundaries. Sooyoung was the first girl – or woman – who made her feel like it was okay to have her heart snatched and broken in a million pieces in exchange for a kiss.
Her hips still moved under her hands and forced Yerim to sway along. The music faded to the background. It felt like there was nothing else in the world but her and Sooyoung dancing, something that confused Yerim even more.
“Come and dance with me,” she purred when she noticed that a frown had started to appear on Yerim’s face. She took her hands and laid them around her own hips, before letting her arms rest on her shoulders. Yerim had a hard time breathing when Sooyoung let her face come closer until their foreheads were leaning against each other's. She could smell her perfume; something sweet, fruity and tropical. The first thing that came to her mind was kiwi, but it was too sweet to be a kiwi. Perhaps strawberry. Weirdly enough, she didn’t at all smelled like alcohol, even though Yerim reckoned that she must.
Yerim blinked confusedly. She opened to say something snarky and clever back, but the redhead had her at that. She decided that it’d be less embarrassing if she just kept shut, but the big grin on Sooyoung’s face made her want to bite back.
“Are you going to look at me all night or still make your move, blondie?”
Suddenly, Sooyoung’s eyes snapped open and Yerim quickly looked down. The low chuckle from the redhead told her that she had been too late and that she had been caught staring.

But there was a gravitational force that pulled her and kept her close to Sooyoung. Yerim didn’t know what it was, but the tingling in her belly became more prominent the closer she came to the redhead. It was hard to decipher if Sooyoung felt the same pull towards her because she still danced like she had nothing to lose. And Yerim couldn’t do that. Not because she was a bad dancer, but because she had something to lose. Or rather someone. Sooyoung. 
The beat moved their bodies from left to right, at the rhythm of the base. The music had a magnetic effect on them, seeming to pull them closer to each other the longer they danced. Sooyoung was good at dancing; she was the kind of girl whose hips swayed from left to right on the beat, closed her eyes and let her own hands run through her hair. Her smile never faded from her face and because she kept her eyes shut, Yerim had enough time to let her gaze linger on her bright red lips. It was an extraordinary sight to see Sooyoung dance like that. Yerim felt clumsy and dumb standing next to the tall goddess and couldn’t help to feel a bit insecure.
Sooyoung took Yerim’s cup from her hand, drank the last bit of beer and threw it somewhere in a corner. With a huge grin, she led her back towards the dance floor and meddled them inside the dancing group of young adults. There was little space and it didn’t take long before they were pushed together, belly-to-belly, faces close and breathes intermingling. Yerim looked up to the redhead and was transfixed by her deep gaze and her cheesy smile.
“You got it, Blondie.”
And maybe, she would not have said that either. But a mischievous twinkle appeared in Sooyoung’s brown eyes and her smile grew more triumphant, showing that the idea appealed to her. She stuck out her hand and Yerim took it.
“A dance?”
Perhaps it was the alcohol, but Yerim’s eyes stared a little longer at Sooyoung’s lips than she normally would have.
“Are you okay there, kiddo? Need anything?” Sooyoung asked her, as soon as their eyes met. Yerim had to suppress the urge to roll her eyes. She got up from the chair and shoved her phone in her back pocket. She lifted her drink and took a sip from it. The redhead smirked and showed her a bright grin, one that made her eyes squeeze shut in pleasure and her white teeth to flash.
Yerim pretended she didn’t see her walk in her direction and tried to ignore Sooyoung as long as possible. She was forced to look up when she stopped in front of the leather chair, with her hands placed on her hips and her eyebrows pulled up in a playful manner.
Sooyoung stopped at the base of the stairs and turned around to her friends. She muttered something and they nodded, only to turn around and walk back upstairs.
After a few moments, she saw a red shadow descend from the chairs. The red spot in the sea of darkness caught her attention and she looked up from her phone, only to meet the gaze of the redhead she had beat a few hours ago. Yerim was caught staring immediately, but instead of a judging look, Sooyoung flashed a cheeky smile. Yerim quickly looked down to her phone, but couldn’t help to keep an eye on the redhead from the corners of her eyes.
She found an empty, leather chair in one of the rooms connected to the living room. Yerim guessed it was the dining room, but the table and chairs were cleared out of the way to make room for the guests. She took out her phone and started to check her social media.
But after a while, she grew tired. Yerim tended to easily grow tired of being around people and it, therefore, didn’t take long before she had to disconnect from the crowd and find a spot to empty her drink in silence and with her phone, so she could recharge a little bit. It was past midnight by now, but she didn’t feel tired at all.

To prevent herself from getting agitated at herself for having said no, she went downstairs. The heat was still unbearable but she found that the longer she danced on the dance floor, the less it mattered that her whole body was sticky with sweat. With a drink in her hand that was filled the moment she drank the last drop, she danced to the latest summer songs, letting her body sway on the beat and let the base consume her heart. It didn’t matter at all that she was dancing so close to people she didn’t know. The crowd was one and she was right in the middle of it.
The evening passed without any problems after that. Yerim was accepted as part of the group after she beat Sooyoung in the drinking game. The boys who had been playing beer pong invited her for a game and it turned out that Yerim excelled in all drinking games, no matter what she played. Wendy invited her for Spin the Bottle, but she had declined respectfully. The game was more about kissing than it was about drinking and even though it would have been the cherry on top of this evening, she didn’t want to waste her evening kissing sloppily with drunken university students. A few moments later she noticed that Sooyoung had joined the game and as she saw the redhead spin the bottle, Yerim wished she would have said yes to Wendy, just to show off a little more.

“Just let me know if you need anything, okay?” Sooyoung said. The redhead winked in her direction one more time before walking off with her friends, leaving Yerim all alone again.
The reserved looking girl darted forwards when Sooyoung stepped away from the table, catching her hand in hers.
“You’re 19 right? You’re in Miyoung’s year. That means you’re still a minor, kiddo,” Sooyoung replied, chuckling softly at the end. She winked. Yerim had to suppress the urge to wrap her arms in front of her body and pout her lips; it would make her look like a child who wasn’t allowed to have a candy from their mother. She wanted to create the opposite effect.
Yerim signed with a flick of her hand to the empty glasses on the table between them. Even though she already started to feel light-headed and a bit dazed, she wouldn’t call herself drunk yet. Sooyoung, on the other hand, seemed to be a bit more affected by the vodka, but only because she had had drinks before the game, Yerim guessed. The redhead was taller and probably heavier than her too. She would be able to down more alcohol than her, but even a giant like her got tipsy from a drinking game.
“I’m not a ‘kiddo’,” she defended herself. “I know how to handle alcohol.”
Yerim didn’t know whether she should look surprised or offended. She took her hand back.
“Well played,” Sooyoung smiled. “You can stay. Didn’t know you had it in you. Just don’t puke on the carpet, will you, kiddo? It was a gift from my mom.”
After a few moments of silence, Sooyoung stack out her hand. Yerim took it and shook it.
Eventually, the redhead stood up. There was a small smile displaying on her face. The group grew a bit quiet at the sight of that and Yerim’s smile faltered a bit. For a moment, they just looked at each other, the blonde trying to figure out whether she was angry or not.
“KIM YERIM, our winner!” she called out. The incredible sound that Sooyoung’s peers produced hurt her ears, but she grinned widely. hurt her but that was only a minor inconvenience comparing to her just achieved victory. She stood up and was immediately slapped on the back by the guys who had played beer pong on the pool table a few moments ago. The cutely smiling brunette, Joohyun had called her Seulgi, who had stood behind Wendy congratulated her, saying that no one had been able to defeat Sooyoung in drinking games until now. Yerim couldn’t hide her wide grin. It was hard not to feel at least a little bit proud with so many people cheering for you.
Wendy took Yerim’s hand and held it up in the air before she could even process that she had won.
Yerim started to down the shots as quickly as possible. At the speed of lightening, she poured the liquid in and gulped it down as fast as she could. started to burn by the third glass and was on fire when she put the last, empty glass on the table, only fractions before Sooyoung did.
“3… 2… 1… GO!” Wendy yelled, under the loud cheers of the other students.
Both Yerim and Sooyoung nodded.
“Are you ready?” Wendy asked them. Her voice had dropped a few octaves, trying to create some tension.
Sooyoung and Yerim nodded at Wendy’s instructions. Yerim sat up a little straighter, getting in a position to try and shot as much as she could.
But there was no going back now. 
Wendy held up the almost empty bottle of vodka with a broad smile. It wasn’t much, but it certainly would be a challenge to either of them. Sooyoung was already tipsy but Yerim would just be as tipsy or even more after the game. Her body wouldn’t handle suddenly drinking 6 shots of vodka. She wasn’t that big after all.
“It’s very simple. The one who finishes their shots the first wins the game. But, you have to be careful. If it turns out that the one who finished the first has more leftovers than the one who finished last, then they will have to finish the rest of the bottle.”
“I’ll quickly explain the rules, now, for those who have forgotten or don’t know the game,” the brunette started. She bowed down over the table so that Yerim and her opponent – Sooyoung – could hear her loud and clear. As if they weren’t able to already – that girl had a powerful voice.
There was one row of six shot glasses installed before each of the participants, each of the filled to the edge and Yerim had a suspicion that she would feel very lightheaded after the game.
More people were joining and sooner rather than later a whole circle of students had gathered around them. It didn’t make Yerim nervous, but she didn’t like it that she might lose in front of all these people. She had to defend her own honour as well as the honour of all high school students. If she lost now, then the prejudice that they were too young to go to parties like these would only be fortified.
“Oh, yes, right,” she said, chuckling apologetically. Wendy cleared . “PARK SOOYOUNG VERSUS KIM YERIM! Gather around, come and see!”
“Wendy, focus,” the reserved looking girl, Joohyun, behind her muttered, causing Wendy to snap out of her daze.
“Kim Yerim? Awh, that’s such a pretty name. I wish I had-”
“Kim Yerim,” she huffed.
The brunette – Wendy, had someone called her – bowed towards Yerim, whispering her question. Her ‘whispering’ wasn’t very subtle, and most of the people around them started to chuckle at Wendy’s attempt to be discreet. The redhead, who sat in front of her at the table, had to hide her broad smile behind her hand. The blonde rolled her eyes.
“The drinking game of the evening! Park Sooyoung against… -Eh, what’s your name, sweetie?”
The voice of the brunette with the blonde dip-dye was loud and clear, despite her probably being the tipsiest of them all. She was the spokesperson, the referee, the one who’d decide who was the winner. The two other dark-haired beauties stood behind her, one smiling brightly and the other looking a bit more reserved, her dark eyebrows raised sceptically.
“Ladies and gentlemen, gather around, gather around!”

“Oh, you thought I was declining your proposal?” she laughed, shaking her head. “I’m in, kiddo, I’m definitely in.”
“If you’re scared to lose, then you can just let me stay anyway,” Yerim said, pushing the other girl a little further. A playful twinkle appeared in her eyes.
“You? Beat me?” she chuckled.
She saw the eyes of the girl glow up when she made the proposal. The redhead smiled mockingly, raising her eyebrows questioningly.
 and had a bigger chance to win if she played it right. Whether she’d puke after that would not matter; she just needed to win.sober“If I beat you in a drinking game, will you let me stay then?” she asked the red head. Someone gasped but most of the other students started to laugh. The odds were against Yerim, she knew, but as far as she knew, most people in this room were already tipsy. She was still 
By now, the whole room had gotten quiet, Yerim noticed. The beer pong game had stopped and the girl with the high lights had stopped talking in the middle of her story to listen to their conversation. Yerim’s cheeks flushed with anger.
“And you will go home now too. Take your friends and go, you’re too young to be drinking like this. And too small to keep up with us too.”
The blonde placed her hands on her hips, staring at the taller girl daringly. The only smiled mockingly, which caused Yerim to frown.
And there’s nothing you can do about it.“Well, I am here now,” she added. 
Yerim rolled her eyes in response.
“I permitted Doyoung to take his little sister. And I don’t believe you’re called Miyoung, are you?”
“We were invited by-”
“I do not remember inviting the whole kindergarten to my party,” the girl said, as she raised one of her eyebrows.
ing tall people.Yerim lifted her chin cockily, trying to regain control of the situation, but it was hard to radiate dominance when the other girl was taller than she was. Even with heels, she was still smaller and that alone caused her to swell up her chest. 
“Why?”
“I don’t believe those drinks are for you,” she purred, as she let Yerim’s hand go. She immediately took it back, rubbing the spot where the red head’s fingers had been only a few seconds ago. Even though she had not pinched hard, it had still been uncomfortable, especially because it had been so sudden.
Yerim reached for a red cocktail, reckoning red was the safest colour, but as she wanted to get the cup, a pair of strange fingers closed themselves around her wrist, pulling her hand back. Yerim looked up into the brown eyes of a girl. Long, red hair was framing her tanned face. Her plump lips were pulled up in a smile, but her eyes were hard like rocks.
When she approached the table, she noticed that the majority of drinks were cocktails, in every colour the rainbow, many of them glowing up because of the little floating lights which were dropped in the cups. They caused the cocktails to shine even brighter and made the drinks look festive, although they did look weirdly chemical.
Yerim was a bit uneasy between the party-goers. She was pulled towards the table with alcohol, hoping that the drink would give her a little more courage to go downstairs and dance or perhaps approach the boys and participate in beer pong.

There was an enormous lounge sofa on which a few people were sitting, talking and laughing with each other. A girl with brown hair and blonde dip-dye was currently telling a story to two brunettes, who chuckled when the clue dropped. In the corner was a pool table, which was currently used by five guys to play beer pong. The music was quieter here than downstairs, which gave the impression of a friendly get-together more than a party.
Once she got upstairs, she followed the sounds of talking and laughing people, which led her to another room. It was almost the same as downstairs, with the same festive coloured light bulbs hanging across the room and a table full of half full bottles of strong liquor. The only difference was that there were two doors, which led to the balcony at the front side of the building which Yerim had seen when they had arrived. They were opened wide which caused the dirty smell to wash off and the high temperature to drop. The cool night’s breeze cooled off the heated students.
As soon as Yerim stepped into the living room, she was met by a stifling warmth. Together with the smell, it was enough to drive her upstairs immediately. She had lost her friends already, but she hardly cared. It wasn’t like any of them were interesting enough for Yerim to truly become friends with, not even Miyoung, anyway. She had always been a lone wolf and since tonight was all about her freeing herself – letting herself go – she preferred not to be with them at all.
The lights were off but the rooms were dimly lighted by coloured party lights. They reminded Yerim of the little lights that her parents always hung in a Christmas tree, only more festive. It gave the house something intimate.
Yerim was overwhelmed by the realness of the party. The blasting music with the latest hits, the tipsy students on the couches or slouching against the walls, the decoration that didn’t fit quite together and therefore did fit together, after all, the table with rows of cups filled with liquor in sloppy rows. Yerim pulled up her nose when she smelt the mix of alcohol, cigarette smoke and sweat that the young adults gave off.

“You have to be quiet. Blend in a bit. Don’t steal the spotlights. I actually only got permission to invite Miyoung,” he said. His irritated look told them that he meant it, so they quickly nodded. Doyoung stepped away from the door at the sight of their eager nodding and the girls were allowed to come in.
Doyoung, Miyoung’s older brother, opened the door after they had rung the bell and immediately shushed the excited group of girls.

They went by bus and arrived at the location about nine in the evening. It was a somewhat small sorority house on the campus of the university. It was the last house in the street and characterized by the famous Greek pillars. Unlike the others, this one had a balcony at the front side of the building. When Yerim looked up, she saw a tall girl look over the edge. When she blinked, all there was left was a flick of red hair disappearing around the corner, which immediately made her doubt whether she had seen it right.
That Saturday, the girls prepared themselves for the sophomore party, dressing themselves up. Yerim wore a bright red crop top and high-waist white shorts. There was just a little of skin exposed under the crop top and the shorts made her appear taller than she actually was – which helped if you wanted to go to a college party with a bunch of people who were a few years older than you. She had recently dyed her hair blonde to get a summer vibe and was finally able to use it. She let it run freely over her shoulders, applying a little bit of hair product to make it appear wavy instead of plainly straight. Her makeup was light – she had applied only base makeup – but her lips were the same colour as her shirt. With a simple pair of sandals underneath, she was ready to go.

Since Yerim and Miyoung had known each other for a long time and they had been friends since they could walk, Yerim was the first whom Miyoung asked to join her. Soon, other girls joined and with a group of five, they planned to go to the party.
Yerim was therefore quick to say ‘yes’ to her friends when they invited her to a party. And not just any party; it was a college party. Her friend, Miyoung, had a brother who was currently a sophomore at the Chung-Ang University. He had told her that she was allowed to come if she behaved herself, wouldn’t cause any ruckus and get a taste of the university life.
Yerim was a hardworking girl who knew what she wanted. But she was prone to her own feelings at the same time. She was easily affected by her dreams and hopes. She was the kind of kid who worked hard but dropped that attitude whenever saw an opportunity come by to follow her dreams. It wasn’t like she wanted to ruin her hard work, but she just wanted to get a taste of whatever was out there in the world for her. Was that so bad?
But as an adolescent and an almost-college-student, Yerim noticed that her interests towards a young adult’s lifestyle became more attractive with every passing day. She wasn’t a kid anymore, being 19 in Korea. She’s almost an adult and it became harder and harder to concentrate on her education as she got older. Perhaps she just wanted to be done and move on to college. She dreamed of a new life, a life she was able to uphold with more spare time and less stress. But as a 12th-grade student, that was impossible if you also wanted to get into a good college. She was expected to end up high on the list, even though she wanted to become a musician and wouldn’t ever need maths or biology or economics.
In the weekends, she had some extra time off. Her tutoring happened in the morning for a couple of hours and after that, she did some extra studying at home. She was free every Saturday and Sunday evening, which gave her time to relax and watch a movie.
But it was exhausting because Korean exam students needed to work all day long, all year round. Some said that if you got three hours sleep a night, you’d be able to get into an amazing college. If you slept four to six, then you’d get into an average college and if you slept seven or more, then you should be lucky that anyone was willing to take you in. It set a lot of pressure to the students and even though Yerim was quick-witted and a good study, even she had to work hard, stay up late and attend personal tutoring every day of the week.
Liberating because she’d be finally done with the social obligation that was high school. Only one more year – she was able to count down the days if she wanted to – and then she’d focus herself fully on her career. There’d be no more forced lunch dates with stuck up es who wanted to profit off of her nor any dumb projects she had to share with nerds she did not even like. She was planning to go to college, although she had not made up her mind yet what she wanted to major in. At least something creative, something that’d help her get into the tough music industry.
Being in your last year of high school was as much liberating as exhausting, Yerim had experienced.asfeltShe woke up the next morning with Sooyoung’s arms wrapped around her waist and her lips at the same

Yerim laughed and nodded. She pulled the redhead closer one more time to kiss her before she let Sooyoung get up and pull one of her over-sized shirts out of the closet.
“Then… do you want to borrow one of my sleeping shirts? I think they’d look really cute on you.”
“I was supposed to be sleeping with Miyoung anyway. I don’t think she’ll mind it if I stay, she probably didn’t even miss me,” Yerim said. She shrugged and Sooyoung nodded agreeing.
“Aren’t your parents getting worried if you stay away all night?”
Sooyoung laughed and shook her head, kissing her tenderly after. When she bowed back, she knotted her eyebrows into a frown.
“Do you mind if I stay?”
“Do you want to go home? I could take you in Joohyun’s car, I just got my license,” the redhead offered, not being able to help herself to smile proudly. Yerim only had to think about it for a few seconds.
“So… you don’t mind, then?” she asked with a small voice. Sooyoung shook her head.
“So? It’s your first time. I wouldn’t expect an award-winning performance from you. I would have helped you a bit! And don’t you think it’d be incredibly hot if I guided you, hmm?” she added, with a playful wink that had Yerim’s cheeks flare up.
“Honoured? I would have probably done a crappy job,” Yerim muttered. Sooyoung laughed.
“It’s fine, I’m already honoured that I was allowed to be your first time in the first place.”
Sooyoung smiled and pressed a kiss to her forehead.
“I wanted it to be you. This was special and magical enough,” Yerim muttered. “And it was all fine but I grew insecure…”
“I wouldn’t have done it either if I were you,” Sooyoung said, as she continued to caress Yerim’s cheek. “You shouldn’t have merely for having . Well, you can if you’re a bit more experienced and ually frustrated like I am,” Sooyoung chuckled for a moment, but then grew serious again, “-but not for your first time. It should be something special, something magical.”
Yerim looked up in her dark eyes and found nothing but reassurance. The redhead cupped her face with her hand, slowly rubbing with her thumb over her cheek.
Sooyoung’s voice pronouncing her name was something she wanted to hear more often, although not as pleadingly like she did right now. It was the first time that evening that she hadn’t called her ‘kiddo’ or ‘blondie’ or any other nickname. It showed that she took her seriously, finally.
“Yerim..”
“I want to, I really want to, but it’s…” she muttered, her voice trailing off when it got harder to express herself.
Yerim sighed and closed her eyes, leaning into Sooyoung’s touch. It helped to settle her heart a bit, but that didn’t take away that she felt incredibly guilty.
“You don’t have to apologize, blondie. You can’t help it.”
Sooyoung shushed her halfway her confession. She lowered herself next to Yerim onto the bed. And despite immediately pulling her close, she could feel the pressure fading off her shoulders. Sooyoung struck the hair out of her face, carefully tugging it behind her ear and smiled softly; reassuringly.
“I- I don’t know if I am ready, I’m sorry, I don’t know if I-”
“What’s wrong?” the redhead asked her. Yerim opened to answer, but it turned out to be harder than expected. It took her a few moments before she had carefully formulated her answer, choosing her words carefully not to hurt her.
The blonde finally snapped when she felt the redhead’s fingers fumble with her bra. She grabbed her wrists, taking them slowly away from her back. Sooyoung opened her eyes and bowed back, immediately cocking her head like a confused little puppy. She rose her eyebrows and took her hands back. Yerim bit on her lower lip and avoided her questioning eyes.
When Sooyoung bowed down to kiss her again, Yerim couldn’t lose herself in the kiss anymore. She was constantly aware how she was, where Sooyoung’s hands were and how the nervous feeling in her belly started to grow bigger and bigger.
Even though Sooyoung looked at her like she was the most beautiful girl in the world, Yerim didn’t feel that way. She didn’t even feel remotely y, more like nervous. Sooyoung knew what she was doing; Yerim would probably have a great time. But what about after that? She couldn’t make it to just leave Sooyoung hanging there and not please her as well. But today had been one of her first kisses, the first time she had French kissed and the first time she had ever gotten tipsy. She had no clue how worked. Or well, she knew what to do if Sooyoung had been a boy. The whole problem was that she was not, and she had no idea what to do. And even if she could pay enough attention to what Sooyoung was doing to her, she would probably ruin it if she tried it herself. It would all blow up in her face.
Sooyoung took the lead and was the first to fumble at Yerim’s clothes. Her hands started at her shirt, easily pulling it over her head. Yerim let her, having never been insecure about her body. Sooyoung her lips sensually at the sight, grinned and went on with her shorts, ing it with skilled hands. She pulled them down her legs awfully slow, leaving her in just her lingerie. Yerim was very aware how little clothes were protecting her now and she’d be lying to herself if she said that she was completely comfortable. Her heart pounded in her chest; her breathing fastened; her body stiffened, she was unable to move.

Yerim was able to handle much of Sooyoung’s straddles and kisses, but when she bit down harder on the sensitive skin, she let out her first gasp. It was as much a turn-on as it was a surprise. She heard the redhead chuckle and felt her smile in her neck. When she came back up again, her eyes were twinkling of delight and the corners of mouth twisted in a cheeky, playful grin. Yerim enjoyed the sight for a moment, before pulling her back to her again and kiss her needily.
Yerim ended with her back on Sooyoung’s bed, with the redhead hovering over her, her body situated between her open legs. Even the blonde had trouble with keeping her breathing steady when Sooyoung moved to her jaw and started to press feather light kisses in her neck, alternated by scrapes of her teeth, little bites and teasing of the tip of her tongue. She trailed lower and lower with each kiss, eventually leading to her collarbone. Yerim had her hand in her neck, keeping the hair out of her face. To help her, and herself, she tilted her head to expose her neck a little bit more.
When Sooyoung moaned against her lips, Yerim realized how serious it was getting. Sure, her heart was beating like crazy too and her stomach was fluttering in delight, but until then she hadn’t known that what she did, affected Sooyoung a lot as well. Her teasing lip bites, the flicks of her tongue. It had all been a game, a gamble, something she experimented with, something she was able to experience with for the first time in her life. But Sooyoung’s breathing became faster and faster and everywhere her hands went, they went with a certain need that needed to be fulfilled.
Sooyoung’s hands curled around Yerim’s waist and in return she intertwined her fingers in her red locks. And suddenly she was taller than her fling was; Sooyoung had placed her hands on her upper thighs and lifted her up like it was nothing. Yerim wrapped her arms around her neck and her legs around her waist, enjoying not having to look up all the time.

good. And right now, she was willing to go pretty far as anything Sooyoung did felt incredible.spotin her neck where she had stopped the previous evening. Yerim opened her eyes when she heard faint, unflattering snoring coming out of the room, one that definitely wasn’t produced by Sooyoung. When she tried to turn around to see what was going on, the redhead lifted her head and opened her eyes sleepily. Yerim apologetically made a face.
“I didn’t mean to wake you up,” she whispered. Sooyoung blinked with her eyes, still not entirely able to comprehend what was going on, and just nodded, before laying down again. She yawned once before closing her eyes.
Yerim sat up straight, noticing that they weren’t the only ones in the room. Of course, she should have known that Seulgi was the one snoring. The girl was laying on her back; sprawled out over her own bed; looking like a bad imitation of a starfish, with her blankets half on the ground and drool dripping from her open mouth.
For a split second, Yerim was lost. She looked around the room, not sure what to do. Sooyoung seemed to have fallen asleep again, Seulgi looked like she had ended up in a coma and she had no idea who else was living in the sorority house and whether she knew them or not. The only people that had stood out to her yesterday had been Sooyoung, Wendy, Seulgi and Joohyun.
She sighed and wanted to get up from the bed when she felt fingers wrap around her wrist. Yerim looked over her shoulder, into the sleepy, deep eyes of the redhead that she had spent the night with.
“You weren’t trying to ghost on me, were you?” she asked, with a lazy smile of sleepiness. Yerim was struck by its beauty and couldn’t speak for a solid few seconds, completely mesmerized.
“N-no, I-” she stuttered, but Sooyoung already laughed and pulled her back. Yerim ended back on the bed again, trying to find a comfortable position whilst Sooyoung wrapped her arms around her and snuggled closer to her. She pressed her nosein the blonde’s neck, giving a quick peck before closing her eyes again.
“You know, I’m pretty glad you stayed last night,” she muttered. Yerim rose her eyebrows.
“Why? I failed to-”
“You didn’t fail,” Sooyoung said immediately, cutting her off. “And I honestly care very little that I didn’t get tobone. I actually liked this better.”
“Really?” the blonde asked, unsure. Sooyoung looked up and smiled reassuringly. She nodded, before bowing down and pressing a long kiss on her lips. Yerim could feel her heart spring up. Her belly tingled of the kiss, a feeling that she would remember for a long time. It was soft and tender and Yerim started to regret not having with Sooyoung the longer it lasted. She knew it wouldn’t be as romantic as she had imagined – especially not with someone she only knew for less than twenty-four hours – but Sooyoung seemed like someone who would make it worth her while and make her forget about all her insecurities.
She just wanted to start deepening the kiss when they were forced to break up when the door popped open. It hit the wall with aloudbang, making both of them look up in surprise. Bright, blinding light entered the room, having Yerim squint her eyes. Even Seulgi woke up, which Yerim hadn’t thought would ever be possible.
Her eyes had to adjust to the bright light coming from the hallway before she saw whose silhouette it was that stood in the opening of the door. With her hand on her hip and her eyebrows raised high, Joohyun watched the three girls sceptically and especially eyed Yerim and Sooyoung suspiciously whom still laid entangled in each other’s arms.
“Please, don’t get up unless you are dressed,” she said, eye-rolling. Sooyoung scoffed.
“We didn’t have , Joohyun,” she huffed. “It’s all clear.”
Joohyun rose one of her eyebrows and chuckled slightly.
“Surprising. When was the last time you let someone stay in your bed without having with them?” she asked. Sooyoung shot her an angry glance. She grabbed Yerim’s hand under the covers and pinched it reassuringly as soon as she saw that the blonde’s cheeks had coloured a deep shade of red.
“Last week, remember? Yerin stayed over,” Seulgi said. Her voice was still hoarse and her eyes were small slits because she had trouble adjusting to the light, but she was now sitting up straight.
Joohyun sighed.
“Doesn’t matter,” she said, shaking her head. “Just make sure you’re downstairs in a quarter. I made pancakes and if you’re late, Wendy might have eaten them all. On top of that, they’ll grow cold quickly.”
Joohyun disappeared from the doorway but didn’t close it on her way out, which left the girls blinded in the bright light. Seulgi immediately started to get up, albeit a little clumsily. Yerim and Sooyoung shared a look.
“I would love to cuddle some more but Joohyun’s pancakes are to die for,” Sooyoung said, as her famous grin made its way back to her face again. “And I suggest you should get some too.”

The girls got up and got dressed. Sooyoung let her borrow deodorant and a rubber band to tie her hair up. Not caring about their makeup or messy hair, they ran downstairs, each of them trying to get there as fast as they could. They had already been able to smell the delicious scent of the pancakes in the corridor upstairs, but it was even more prominent when they entered the kitchen.
Joohyun had already gotten them a plate and there were damping piles of deliciousness waiting for them when they entered the kitchen. They sat down and eagerly started on the pancakes, only realizing then that they had been starving.
When they were done, Yerim helped Joohyun to clear the table, even though the older woman told her it wasn’t necessary.
Not soon after her phone lit up, displaying a worried expression from her mother why she wasn’t at Minyoung’s house. When she opened the text, she discovered that her parents had called up to Minyoung to ask her when she’d be home, only to have Minyoung’s mother tell them that she hadn’t stayed the night there at all. Yerim had quickly sent them a text and had started to gather her stuff after that, preparing to leave.
“I can take you, you know,” Sooyoung offered, as she watched her quickly apply base makeup in the bathroom of the sorority sisters, leaning casually against the doorframe with her arms crossed in front of her chest. Somehow, this casual look with her hair in a ponytail and still wearing the sweatpants and oversized shirt she had slept in, made her appear even more beautiful than the night before. She wondered how that it was possible for Sooyoung to look even more attractive.
Yerim shook her head.
“What will they think if I arrive in your car?” she asked herself out loud. “And on top of that-,” she turned around, to face the redhead, “-don’t you want a goodbye kiss? I wouldn’t be able to do that with my parents peeking over my back.”
Sooyoung grinned at that and didn’t say anything after.

When Yerim had gathered her stuff, Sooyoung walked her to the front door of the sorority house.
“Want some food for on the way? I heard from Minyoung that you had to travel for more than an hour,” Sooyoung offered. Yerim chuckled slightly and shook her head.
“What about a kiss for on the road? One that will satisfy me until we meet again,” she proposed. Sooyoung laughed, wiggling her eyebrows playfully as she stepped closer. Her arms curled around her waist, pulling her closer. Yerim’s smile grew bigger.
“And that you shall have.”

After several minutes, Yerim was seen leaving the sorority house with a grin from ear to ear plastered on her face. That grin wouldn’t leave for the rest of the day, not even when she was scolded by her parents or got in a fight with Minyoung.
It had all been worth it.

As expected, she wasn’t allowed to visit Sooyoung anymore. Her parents grounded her for the rest of the year so she would be able to study ‘optimally’, without any distractions like parties, friends and a certain redhead. Yerim finished high school being one of the best in her class. She had worked her off but the result had been rewarding.
The redhead had always been on her mind, which was something her parents would probably think off as scandalous if they knew. Whenever she felt like giving up, whenever she wanted to run away, Sooyoung’s right eye-smile lit up before her eyes, reminding her that if she did well in her last year, she might be able to go to the same college. It was a dream that was futile, even Yerim admitted that. Sooyoung might not even remember her and otherwise would probably not long for her like she longed for the redhead.
Still, the memories of the careless, reckless university student brighted up her darkest periods and had given her the strength to go on. Yerim ended up as fifth on the list and she had been proud knowing that she was considered one of the smartest students in her whole year. It made not seeing Sooyoung anymore almost worth it… almost.
Not long after that, she was accepted in the university she wanted to go to. Her nervousness for going to university was bigger than her nervousness to see Sooyoung again. That’s why she was completely taken by surprise when she saw a flicker of red locks disappearing around the corner in her first week at college.
After that, all she could look for was red hair in a sea of black and brown. It took her another week to spot her again but there she was. Her hair had grown longer, but it had still the same red colour, although it might have faded already a little bit. She walked arm-in-arm with Seulgi to the coffee shop that was located just outside the gates of the university, happily talking and laughing as they went. Yerim had only been able to stare at them, slowly falling open. Seeing Sooyoung again felt like a slap in the face.

In the days after that, she tried to gather enough courage to go up to her and talk to her, perhaps confess to her. Perhaps, if she had known that Sooyoung had known from day one that she had started going to the same university, then she might have stepped up earlier. Only she didn’t and therefore it took another week before she had thought out a plan to make it look less obvious that she had been thinking about the redhead for the past 365 days.

Yerim had decided to ‘accidentally’ bump into her in the hallway. Yes, that was her plan and no, she did not at all feel like a hopeless teenager in love whilst doing it.
With confidence, she strode through the hallway in which she knew Sooyoung would appear at any second. She always did at 10:15. And despite the fact that Wendy was always with her, Yerim still felt brave enough to go through with her plan.
The redheaded girl appeared around the corner right when Yerim wanted her to. With her head down, she walked, as closely as she could, past her. From the corners of her eyes, she saw Sooyoung look up when she came nearer, but she didn’t dare to look up. She hid her face shamefully behind her blonde hair. Their shoulders bumped together when they passed through and even though that was electrifying enough, she felt Sooyoung’s fingers grip her wrist. They took her hand and pressed a small piece of paper in it, before quickly letting go again, not missing a beat. Yerim immediately stopped walking, her eyes large of shock. When she turned around, all she saw was the backside of Sooyoung body, her hips swaying to the rhythm of her walking. She stared but snapped out of her daze quickly. Yerim wanted to turn around but stopped when she saw Sooyoung look over her shoulder. When their eyes met, the redhead grinned mischievously. She winked, giggled and turned around again. Yerim felt her cheeks flare up red and she almost forgot to unfold the small paper that had been pressed into her hands. It displayed a phone number, written in a neat, small handwriting that could only belong to Sooyoung.
The redhead turned around one more time to make a ‘call-me’ sign before she disappeared around the corner.

Later that day, Yerim called. And hell, she was glad she had.