Mark returned to his home right now with depressed feeling. It’s been 3 years since Jinyoung didn’t came back to Mark and his family too. He has been drunk these days, focusing on work and life such a crazy person. He cried so much when he comes to bed. Memories back to him like these old days. Mark still hold the picture of him and Jinyoung, they are kissing under snow on Christmas Eve. Just then he saw a diary by Jinyoung put on his desk. Mark opened it  and play the music in order to save his loliness from him. The music play the song that both of them like best , a melody song. The words are coming out just like what Mark done with him 3 years ago.

“When things were so hard that I was tired of living
When nothing was going my way
When I hadn’t even seen my family
And even I wasn’t important to myself
In this world, where one must have more
In order to continue with love
All of my life
You are all of my life

Mark smiling when he read the diary and remember the time when he first met Jinyoung. It was just a party with his friends, but somehow, a boy came and attracts him for the first time he met. He was bright and shine, his smile is so perfect for Mark too handle. Still then, he still remember everything about his lover. To Mark, Jinyoung is a friend, a brother, a best friend and of course, his lover. They dated 3 months ago and Mark never think that how he is going to survive without him. Jinyoung is the one who makes him got some motivation to fight with his life and for their love.  

“Mark huyng, will you promise to stay by my side forever”, Jinyoung asked when Mark is reading book. They are embracing each other’s warmth.

“I don’t know, Jinyoung. I can’t promise anything, but I promise I will stay by your side forever”, Mark look at Jinyoung who is pouting so cute at him. Mark put the book down and started kissing him.

Mark keep silent and listen to the next lyrics of the song.

When I look at myself
I changed so much after meeting you
I began to have dreams
And I wanted to make your dreams come true too
In order to do that, I had to go up higher
I had to have more things
Just when I had everything
My dreams became bigger than love

He suddenly remembers the day that they fighted just because he choose his dream better than his love.  Jinyoung cried a lot after hearing Mark decision…

“Mark…please don’t leave me… I love you…you have to choose, between me or your dream”, Jinyoung asked him with his tears…

“Jinyoung ah, I love you so much, but my dreams are more important…I have to accept it..”, Mark sadly speaking and hold Jinyoung hand but he resisted.

“Have to? So that’s mean you don’t love me anymore? How can you do this to me…”, Jinyoung started crying.

Mark didn’t say anything, he came to Jinyoung and hugged him tight but Jinyoung just keeping yanking his hand. Mark keep hugging Jinyoung tigher and let his lover cry in his shoulder.

Since Jinyoung is away from Mark, he tries to strugging with his life very much. But he couldn’t be filled anyways. He feel something empty in his heart….that is his love is leaving him…leaving their love behind.

All of my life, when I was struggling
You are all of my life, you filled me up
I tried filling myself up with other things
all of my life
you are all of my life
But I couldn’t be filled

“Jinyoung…when will you comeback to me…I miss you….”, Mark muttered when he closes his eyes and went to sleep.

That’s what we wanted and were so desperate for
Now my room is so filled up
But were you in there alone, without me
Crying?

all of my life, you’re my everything
What use is all of this?
If you’re listening to this song somewhere
all of my life
all of my life
Yes, this is about you

Mark sighed and closed his diary. He just realized after all only Jinyoung makes him happy and feel more loved. He realized that he should love him more, but he didn’t deserved it.  Now Jinyoung is gone, Mark hoping that this song will give to Jinyoung as a present that he would comeback to him and love him as before…