oh god oh god I messed up big time 
I looked around and I was in my new hotel room along with ..... eunbi ?!! 
I slept with the girl I just met the other day 
what's wrong with me ? 
I just sat there as memories started to slowly come back : 
-----------------
I was getting drunk with BlackPink members when suddenly I spotted a familiar figure 
" hey eunbi " I called out after seeing sinb 
" Oh hey TJ " 
" come join us we're celebrating " I told her and she came and sat with us 
" so where's your friend ? the tall beautiful one" I asked her wondering where Sowon was 
" having a crush ? " she asked teasingly 
" maybe " I joked 
" she had some photoshoots to do and after that she was so tired that she went straight to her room ... but I couldn't sleep so I thought coming here was good. " she said
" oh good day to choose because we're celebrating our song" Jisoo said 
" yeah let's have another round " Lisa said cheerfully 
after a lot of drinks later rosé excused herself to go to the restroom but she didn't come back so I thought I should go see if anything had happened to her which was the second mistake I made that night 
I went towards the restroom and knocked while calling her name and when I got no respond I went inside the women's restroom 
only to find rosé there crying her eyes out 
" hey rosie what happened? " I asked 
" oh it's you ... it's always you ... why ? " she then threw herself at me and before I knew it her lips were on mine , her tongue searching through the deepest parts of my mouth . she was being pretty aggressive with the way she had ripped my shirt open but in some ways I was maybe because I was too drunk to understand what I'm doing I had let what had happened in the restroom to happen . the memories are blurry but I can still feel her nails scratching my shoulder while shouting out my name ... 
after one or maybe two rounds Jisoo suddenly came in and spotted us but I guess she was too drunk to understand what was happening because all she did say was that we should join them for some other drinks and left , we went to the others and drank even more . at that time none of us understood what had really happened 
after we all were finished drinking we headed back to our homes and in my case hotel and because none of us could drive and sinb's dorm was too far I offered her to stay with me which was the third wrong choice 
and it's clear that what happened after she came in my room ..... 
I screwed up not once but twice in the same night oh gosh what the hell i'm gonna do ? 
I went out of the bed and putted my underwear on but before I could reach to my clothes my phone started ringing it was rosie
I went in the balcony and answered the call 
" Jimmmmyyyyyyy why am I covered in hickeys ? " she shouted 
" what?!!!!! " I honestly can't remember what happened clearly... just some flashbacks 
" come hereee NOW !!! " she screamed and hung up leaving me dumbfounded 
little does she know that I have yet another girl to deal with .... god why me? I always try to be good and now this? I feel disgusted when I think of myself , 
" huh ? where am I " sinb's voice could be heard as she was talking to herself 
" wh-what ... I'm ? " she screamed I went inside  the room and she screamed even louder 
" TJ ?!!!! " 
" Hi " I said awkwardly 
" no ! " 
" i'm sorry"
" no .... " 
" look what can I do to make it up to you ? I am truly sorry " 
" this can't be " 
" I am definitely sorry for what happened " I bowed my head in shame 
" I slept with my friend's crush ? I'm a total disappointment " 
" wait what ? " 
" sowon's gonna kill me " 
" huh? " I was confused 
then she stood up and started putting on her clothes 
" we'll talk later ... until then do not speak of what happened to a single soul ... understood? " 
I nodded my head and then she stormed out 
that was strange ....
I then went in the bathroom and took a shower 
after putting some clothes on I headed to rosie 
I went in her dorm and when I stepped inside I found a sobbing rosie 
" Rosie ? are you ok ? " I asked 
" No i'm not you big jerk " she said 
" rosie i'm sorry " 
" I'm gonna be kicked out of the company " she cried even more 
" wait what ? why ? " 
" we're not allowed to date let alone have affair untill 5 years later " she said 
" oh no .... what can I do to make it right ? " I asked with worry 
" I don't know " she cried 
" but I know " Lisa came inside 
" what should I do ? " I asked her 
" well I remember YG telling you that if you wanted to date any of us he would make an exception... now be a man and take responsibility go to YG and explain or I swear to god if rosé gets kicked out i'll kill you " she said with a dangerous tone 
" I.. I s..see wh-what I c-can do " I said and rushed out 
suddenly my phone buzzed I got a text from an unknown number 
~ Unknown 
hey it's SinB ... look I thought about it we were both drunk last night and I can't blame you ... I decided we should ignore what happened and never speak of it again ... but ... you'll owe me one ok ? ~ 
I quickly replied with a simple ok and then rushed to YG building 
I went inside and was led to YG's office 
" oh TJ , nice to see again ... tell me son what can I do for you ? " he smiled 
" sir I-I wanted to ask for a favor " 
" ask away " 
" well last night I went out with the girls and ..." 
" let me guess you had with one of them ?" 
my jaw dropped 
" y-yes " I hung my head 
" which one ? " he asked 
" Sir please ... it was my fault don't go too harsh on her " 
" I love them like my own daughters , which one TJ and don't make me repeat myself " He said in a dangerously calm tone
" ro..rosé " I confessed 
" the most innocent looking one huh? ... so here's the deal  ... their contract says that participating in any sort of love affair will lead to them being removed from the group ... but i'm gonna make an exception , in return if your song succeeds I want you to sign a contract with YG for a whole album  and if anyone finds out about what happened between you two you'll have to take her as your fiancé to make the paparazzi shut up... now what do you say ? " He said
I need to do this for the sake of rosie 
Lisa's words kept ringing in my head " be a man take responsibility " 
of course my company will not like it but I should agree .
" I will tell my manager immediately sir " I bowed 
" ok so let me know" he said and I was dismissed 
I quickly called my manager when I was out of the building 
" Hey Tom? what can I do for you ? and why are you not here shooting your mv ? " oh shoot I totally forgot  
" sorry there's been a problem ... " I told him about everything excluding SinBs part 
" I see ... ok we'll contact YG and I'll take care of the rest but now ... please head to the filming area " he said 
" ok ok on my way " I said and rushed there 
after an exhausting day of shooting everything was finally finished and I was told that I could head back to my dorm 
I didn't realized but I missed everyone so much during this time I happily headed to my sister's dorm and opened the door only to be greeted with an empty dorm 
" Hi is everyone in here? " I said but no , they're probably on schedules , well I'll just wait for them to arrive 
I went into my room and laid on my bed waiting for someone to head back to the dorm
after about an hour later I heard the door opening and it was Jessica, seeing her reminded me of SinB which made me ashamed of what I have done 
" is this a way to greet someone you haven't seen for a long time pabo ? " Jessica said in her famous icy tone 
" oh! Hi Je-Jessica ... sorry I... I was thinking of something else and got distracted ... i'm sorry" I said and suddenly Jessica ran toward me and hugged me real tight " pabo ... why did you had to be gone for so long ? " she said while hugging me tighter 
" i'm sorry but there was too much to do " I said 
" My Tommy is backkkkk " suddenly sunny came out of nowhere and joined the hug 
" hey sunny it's nice to see you after so long "
after that we went and sat in the living room to chat . after about an hour or so all the members came in plus krystal who literally tackled me down to the ground while hugging me . " I missed you" she pouted 
" I missed you too " I said and stood up 
but deep down I was sad , I don't deserve their attention, I'm a bad guy who took advantage of not one but two girls when they were drunk I'm disgusted with myself 
" Jim? you ok ? " I heard Krystals voice calling me 
" yeah " I answered  
" something's bothering you? " she asked 
" no , i'm fine " she didn't seem to buy it but decided to let it go at that moment  . 
after catching up with everyone went to my room to get some rest , tomorrow I have to go shoot for the teasers 
but shortly after I reached my room I heard someone knocking on the door who appeared to be Yuri , oh no ... i've been avoiding her as much as I could because she can always tell when something's on my mind and i'm too ashamed to face her right now
" hey little brother " she said sweetly and sat on my bed 
" hey " I tried to avoid her gaze 
" so ... everything is going fine? " she asked 
" I'm debuting soon " I tried to dodge the question 
" I meant ...everything is fine with you ? " she was concerned 
I just sat there silently looking down afraid to speak or look up suddenly I felt her warm body against mine as she embraced me in a hug 
"  Jungsoo what happened? " she hugged me tighter , she always uses my korean name when she is worried about me 
" I .... Yuri .... I messed up big time " a tear escaped my eye
" shhhh ... it's ok tell me what happened " she patted my back 
I just sat back and told her the whole thing 
silence was her reaction after I was finished 
she just sat there staring at me 
" yuri-ah please say something " I said with begging eyes 
" jungsoo .... I.... I don't know what to say " she said , disappointment could be seen everywhere on her face 
" I'm sorry... I really am .... " I said 
" I know... but ... this... wasn't something I expected from you and you realize that you're still underaged for drinking?" she said and got up