Jinki is conflicted. Being with Kibum again is wonderful. It’s better than he had ever expected it to be and he wants to soak up as much of it as possible before he has to leave again. But that’s the problem. Knowing that he is going to leave for yet another year in absolute solitude with only memories to keep him company is difficult and it makes it achingly hard to continue to snuggle up to Kibum.

He tries, he really does, and at times forgets that he’s about to leave but sometimes, like right now, Kibum just makes it so painfully obvious that they won’t be together for more than another two and a half weeks.

Kibum is standing on his tip-toes, trying to reach the new chandelier his parents have bought him for his birthday. It hangs in the middle of his bedroom and even though Kibum is tall, he’s not that tall and the wrinkled paper heart is not hanging the way he wants it to hang. Jinki stands in the door way and remembers last Christmas when they made the hearts together.

Kibum has suggested they decorate the apartment just like last year. He’s convinced there’s magic in the paper and it’s what ultimately lead him to Jinki. It’s a cute thought, really. It’s innocent, somehow, and naïve to believe in Christmas magic. Jinki wishes he never loses the belief.

Kibum puts a hand on his hip as he lands on his heels again, staring at the chandelier. There’s a confident smile painted on his lips and when he turns around and gets eye contact with Jinki, he chuckles a little.

“Look,” he says and Jinki lifts his gaze to the chandelier as well. He doesn’t get to actually look at the decorations, however, before he has an armful of Kibum against his chest. The response is automatic as Jinki wraps his arms around the younger boy and lets them sway gently on the floor. Kibum chuckles a little when he lets go and Jinki just sends him a cute smile.

The memories of being together are sweet but creating new ones are bittersweet and Jinki just wishes there is something, anything he can do to go back to life.

✕✕✕
 

They haven’t spoken more about Jinki’s death nor have they spoken about Head Quarter but when Jinki lies awake at night and watches over his lover, he sees the way Kibum shifts in his sleep and awakens in the middle of the night, even if only for a few minutes. It worries Jinki but he doesn’t bring it up, too scared to know exactly what is on Kibum’s mind. He’s a coward and he knows, but not knowing is better than acknowledging that this might be their last Christmas together.

✕✕✕

On December 13th, Kibum brings him to Seoul. It’s a Friday and it’s Saint Lucy’s Day. Jinki doesn’t know why Kibum has decided to bring him to Seoul instead of staying in Daegu but Kibum refuses to say anything. Their hands are gently linked, a disguise not to get lost from one another in the middle of the many people and as soon as there’s air between them, Jinki releases Kibum’s hand.

He can feel the cold from the loss but tries to cover his own disappointment. South Korea is still not ready for openly gay couples and Jinki is still too afraid of getting verbally attacked. Kibum just sends him a small smile and leads him towards the Han River.

They’re sitting in front of the fountains eating gimbap bought from convenience stores as the dark of the night slowly descends on them. It’s only 5 PM but the street lights are on. There’s silence between them when they finish their food and Kibum scoots a little closer and leans his head on Jinki’s shoulder. A couple of children are playing on the rocks, trying not to get their feet wet and a young couple on a date strolls the lit path.

Jinki blinks when voices suddenly reach them and he blinks in confusion. He can’t find anyone singing but it’s obvious there’s a choir nearby, there has to be. They’re singing a Christmas Carol Jinki has never really heard of but it sounds beautiful. Kibum lifts his head from Jinki’s shoulder and sends him a small smile. Jinki frowns when he still doesn’t find the choir but the voices grow in volume.

When a woman dressed in a white dress walks down the path holding a lit candle followed by girls dressed in the same white dress, Jinki realises they’re the choir. They walk slowly, their candles and their dresses lighting up in the dark night. Their song brings tears to Jinki’s eyes as they walk passed and continues on their way. Kibum pokes his side and Jinki snorts a little to hide his wet eyes.

“Crybaby,” Kibum whispers and Jinki looks at him with a smile. Kibum’s eyes are wet as well but he tries not to let it show. Jinki starts humming the melody and Kibum huffs out loud in choked laughter.

The two men sit in the darkness as the moon looks over them and the orange street light cover their paths in delicate light. The cold weather doesn’t seem to bother them and none of them seem to notice the soft snowflakes that start falling from the sky. Their fingers intertwine as they watch each other with soft smiles.

✕✕✕

“How did you die?” Kibum asks two days later when they’re back in his apartment in Daegu. It’s 1 PM and Jinki chokes on his piece of apple. Kibum pats his back and Jinki coughs. They have never spoken about his death so directly but Kibum’s gaze is questioning and determined. He wants to know. Jinki hits his chest twice with a fist before he swallows and looks up with teary eyes.

“W-why?” he asks and Kibum sits down on the floor where Jinki is sitting. He still looks at Jinki with determination in his eyes and Jinki feels his heart shrink. He doesn’t want to talk about his death with Kibum. It had been hard enough to tell the rest of the Christmas Angels and the guilt and the shame runs down his spine.

“How did you die?” Kibum asks again without answering Jinki’s question and Jinki looks towards the floor, apple forgotten and he starts tracing circles on the floor with his finger.

He stays silent as he lets memories he never really wanted wash over him. He remembers the depression and the hopelessness months before. He remembers planning it all out, how he had looked through timetables and stations to find the perfect place to take his own life. It had been so easy yet so difficult. Every day leading up to his death had been a mixture of hope and dread and shame. The shame had been the worst and it hasn’t lessened when he thinks about it again. It’s like he’s being judged for his choice of death. Taemin hasn’t made it easier but Jinki doesn’t really blame him. The only one he truly blames is himself.

Kibum reaches out to pat his hand and bring him back and Jinki looks up with a gasp. Kibum sends him a soft smile and links their fingers but the question still hangs low in the air and the tension in the room needs an answer. Jinki takes a deep breath.

“Suicide,” he lets out shakily and Kibum blinks in succession. Jinki hopes he heard him. He doesn’t think there’s any way he could actually say it out loud again. Then Kibum lowers his head and Jinki thins his lips for a few seconds before he scoots a little closer.

“I’m sorry,” he says. Jinki doesn’t know why he apologizes to Kibum but it helps with the guilt he feels. Kibum looks up with wet eyes before he wraps his arms around Jinki in an embrace. They sit there in the silence of the living room. Jinki is confused. He hates talking about his death because the memories are unpleasant but Kibum deserves to know. Kibum shouldn’t be comforting Jinki, not like this. It’s wrong. Jinki pulls away from the embrace, just slightly and lifts his chin so they get eye contact.

“Why do you ask, love?”

There’s silence between them before Kibum leans in to capture Jinki’s lips in a soft kiss. The kiss is so full of love that Jinki almost forgets why he’s here and what they were talking about but when Kibum pulls away and utters his reason, it all comes surging down again.

“I want to die.”

Jinki pulls out of his embrace and stares at the other boy. Kibum bites his lower lip for a second before he sighs and crawls back towards Jinki so he can climb into his lap and wrap his arms back around Jinki’s shoulders. They sit like that for a few minutes, Jinki unable to understand Kibum’s words.

“What?” he asks. Kibum nods slightly.

“I don’t want you to leave,” he says and Jinki feels the guilt twist his heart. If guilt could kill, Jinki would have died yet again.

“That’s ridiculous, Kibum. I don’t want you to die!”

Jinki can feel his guilt turn to anger when Kibum looks at him with wide, innocent eyes. Dying is not something you decide to do just like that and certainly not for someone like Jinki. Jinki brought it upon himself and he will deal with the loss of Kibum when December 26th comes around, but he doesn’t want Kibum to lose his humanity.

“There’s nothing here for me without you,” Kibum counters and Jinki takes a deep breath so he doesn’t start shouting. Kibum is still sitting in Jinki’s lap, his fingers drawing hesitant circles on Jinki’s shoulder blades.

“Kibum, love, you don’t know what you’re talking about,” Jinki says and Kibum frowns, his fingers stopping their movement.

“I’ve spent a year thinking about this. Seeing you again just confirmed it. Jinki, I don’t want you to leave.”

Kibum looks at him sternly and Jinki closes his eyes so he doesn’t have to deal with the deep brown eyes he has fallen in love with. It doesn’t last long, though, and when Jinki opens his eyes, Kibum is still there in front of him, determination still present in his eyes.

“What if you get tired of me in two months? Then you’ll have lost your life for nothing,” Jinki says and Kibum snorts offended.

“Come on, give yourself some credit! I want to be with you forever, Jinki. If dying means being together, then I’m going to die as well.”

“Kibum…”

Kibum shakes his head and puts a finger on Jinki’s lips to shut him up.

“No. Listen to me, okay? I want to die because there’s nothing left here for me. I love you and we both know you’re going to leave again when Christmas is over. There’s no guarantee I’ll see you next year Jinki ,and it breaks my heart to be away from you. I don’t want to leave you ever again and Head Quarter doesn’t sound like a bad place to stay.”

Jinki exhales deeply.

“What about your mother? Will you really let her go through losing her husband, her mother-in-law and her son in three consecutive years?”

This has Kibum snarling and pulling away slightly.

“My mom has nothing to do with this!” he says and Jinki wraps his arms around Kibum, holding him close. The anger that bubbled underneath his skin has slowly died down and Kibum’s simmering anger is of utmost importance.

If they have another fight, Jinki is going to end Downstairs and he doesn’t want that. He also doesn’t want to see Kibum mad. He doesn’t want Kibum to die but when Kibum is angry there’s no way to talk to him logically. Jinki might have made the mistake of his life when he killed himself in November but he won’t let Kibum, whom he loves, take away what is most precious.

“I’m sorry,” Jinki whispers into Kibum’s ear as he holds him close and rocks slightly on the floor. Kibum calms down with an exhale but he doesn’t apologize and he doesn’t retract his wish. “Think about it Kibum. I’ll come back next year, we can talk about it next year.”

Jinki doesn’t hear the answer but he feels Kibum slightly shake his head and he knows, deep within, that it’s a lost battle.

✕✕✕

They don’t speak of it in the following days as they go Christmas shopping and buy each other small insignificant presents and takes pictures in photo booths. Kibum calls it proof that Jinki is real and he hasn’t gone insane, even though they both know that isn’t the reason. Jinki wishes he could bring pictures of Kibum back to Head Quarter but it comforts him to know that Kibum is so adamant about remembering him. Kibum laughs when Jinki grimaces on a specific picture and pulls it from Jinki’s hands so he can’t throw it away.

“I’m keeping this,” Kibum says when his laughter dies down and Jinki whines, attracting a few stares.

They walk through the streets while they eat fish bread and share tales of what they’ve done throughtout the year. When Jinki admits to his grounding, Kibum sends him a soft smile that speaks volumes. Jinki just waves the gratitude away with a chuckle but Kibum still squeezes his bicep just slightly to say I love you.

They cross a playground and Kibum wipes the snow from the swing so he can sit on it without getting his pants wet. Jinki grabs onto the strings and gently sways the swing back and forth. Kibum almost tips off and he glares at Jinki until they both start laughing. Children look at them from the slide but none of the two men notice the looks that are sent their way.

“You know,” Kibum starts when he stops the swing with his feet and keeps it steady, almost toppling Jinki into his back at the sudden standstill.

“Huh?” Jinki says and rests his elbows on Kibum’s shoulders so he can play with the yarn on top of Kibum’s hat.

“Nah, nevermind.”

Kibum shakes his head and Jinki shakes the swing strings to show his frustration but Kibum just gets off the swing and Jinki nearly topples forward again. Kibum eats the last of his snack before he reaches his hand back and invites Jinki to take it.

They continue their way through the city as they talk about this and that and learn things about each other they still don’t know. Jinki finds it amazing, really, that he has fallen in love with Kibum so easily, but the childhood stories Kibum tells only make him adorable and admirable and Jinki thinks it’s the best decision he’s ever unconsciously made. Kibum frowns when he looks at Jinki’s soft smile before he shakes his head and mumbles something that sounds a lot like “you’re too much”. Jinki thinks he doesn’t mind being too much if it means loving Kibum.

When they enter the apartment, they’re both slightly tipsy on beer and love and they barely make it to the living room before they’re kissing. Kibum is wrapping his legs around Jinki’s midsection, keeping himself upright with his hands on Jinki’s shoulders. Jinki’s hands are wrapped below Kibum’s thighs, carrying him through the apartment as they lose themselves to one another.

Jinki and Kibum hasn’t had yet, their love short-lived and their relationship new and special. Jinki hasn’t wanted to pressure Kibum to anything and he doesn’t really like all that much either if he’s to be honest. He doesn’t see what’s special in it. Right now, however, he doesn’t care where their kissing leads. It could lead to cuddling or more. Kibum’s lips are chapped from the cold and his fingertips are cold after his gloves and Jinki loves the goosebumps that rise on his skin. Kibum doesn’t seem to notice but that’s okay.

When Jinki tries to sit down on the couch, Kibum jumps from where he’s sitting and his feet land on the floor with a slight thump.

“No,” he murmurs against Jinki’s lips and Jinki pulls away in confusion. Kibum growls slightly before he presses his lips to Jinki’s again. His hands slide over Jinki’s chest until one finds its way up to his shoulders and down his arm. Fingers link around his wrist and their kiss breaks once again when Kibum pulls Jinki towards the bedroom. It’s dark in the room but none of them bothers with turning on the light.

They’re kissing again as they hit the bed, Jinki’s head hitting the soft mattress and he gives himself away. They spend a majority of the time just kissing, no rushing. There’s nothing inappropriate in the way they’re kissing nor in the way hands are softly exploring bodies still dressed in winter clothes.

When Kibum breaks their kiss and looks at Jinki, Jinki almost whines. Kibum’s hands are toying with the neck of Jinki’s sweater.

“Can I?” he asks in a whisper and Jinki nods. The smile Kibum sends him is so beautiful Jinki wishes he had given permission earlier. As Kibum pulls Jinki’s sweater off, Jinki leans up to capture his lips just once again. They kiss again, slow and passionate and loving, and everything is a dream. Kibum lets his hands run over Jinki’s skin and Jinki feels the shiver down his spine.

There’s something about the atmosphere, something about the kisses, that makes him feel so special, so treasured. Kibum pulls off his long-sleeved shirt when Jinki starts toying with the hem and he shivers visibly under the touch. Jinki’s fingers are rough and dry on Kibum’s soft stomach and it’s the most beautiful thing he has ever seen.

They don’t end up having when their kisses turn lazy and their touches become soft. It’s exploring and adventuring without needing the physical intimacy of being . Jinki knows it’ll happen some day if their relationship continues like this but he isn’t going to rush the day. There is something beautiful about taking is slowly with Kibum.

✕✕✕

“Is that?” Jinki asks and Kibum nods. On the refrigerator is a small piece of dried mistletoe hung in a small red string. Jinki lets his finger over the dried plant before he opens the refrigerator to look for the milk. It’s the morning on December 20th and he’s in the mood for cereal. Kibum has chocolate cereal and it’s childish and it’s exactly what Jinki is desiring. Kibum, himself, is reading the news on his smartphone while he eats a croissant along with a few pieces of orange. It’s unhealthy but it’s homely and that’s all that truly matters.

When Jinki pours his cereal, he eyes the mistletoe again. Then he gets a silly idea. As he puts the milk back into the refrigerator, he dips down and opens the freezer below. Kibum raises an eyebrow at him but doesn’t say anything.

“Hey love,” Jinki says and looks over his shoulder at Kibum. “You don’t have any meat in the freezer.”

This has Kibum putting his phone down and walking towards Jinki so he too can sit down and look through the freezer.

“I swore I still had…” he says and reaches in on a shelf where he finds chicken. He looks at Jinki with a frown and Jinki points towards the ceiling.

“Guess we’re both under the mistletoe, so now you have to kiss me,” he says and Kibum blinks confused before he notices the plant on refrigerator.

“You’re an idiot,” Kibum says and hands Jinki the frozen chicken before he leans in and pecks him. Kibum gets up so he can continue eating his breakfast and Jinki smiles wide, satisfied with his own mischief.

They decide to go grocery shopping anyway because they need food for Christmas Eve and none of them wants to eat fast food on what is their last day together. Kibum has decided they should go out to eat but Jinki wants to eat something homemade. Kibum writes a shopping list and Jinki keeps adding chocolate to it. They dress up in warm clothes before they head out, hands linked this time. Kibum’s gloves have ripped on his fingers and he insists that he’s going to freeze if Jinki doesn’t hold his hand. Jinki thinks it has more to do with just being together, feeling one another, than it does with the cold.

The trip to the shop isn’t long at all and soon enough they’re walking around inside, discussing what kind of vegetables goes best with the chicken. Jinki keeps sneaking chocolate into the cart and Kibum keeps putting it back but it just makes Jinki’s heart beat in joy.

They walk back from the grocery store hand in hand as well, Jinki carrying the bag of groceries so Kibum doesn’t have to. Kibum carries a big box of pocky’s in the hand that doesn’t hold onto Jinki. It hadn’t been on the list but with the promise of the pocky game, Kibum had caved in anyway. Jinki skips in his steps and almost stumbles over a slight bump in the pavement. Kibum starts laughing at his misfortune and Jinki just releases his hand in revenge.

It doesn’t take long before their hands are linked again. None of them sees the small boy that looks at them with wide eyes and a natural curiosity.

Putting the groceries away takes longer than expected when Jinki opens the pocky’s and dares Kibum to eat the rest of the pocky in his mouth. Their kisses turn to giggles and stomach aches when they have consumed most of the pocky’s and Kibum sinks onto the couch and reaches towards the remote control.

Jinki plops down beside him, hand slung over his chest and he kisses Kibum’s neck once, twice before he turns around in his hold and turns towards the television as well. Kibum wraps his arm over Jinki’s midsection and lightly lets his fingers run over his abdomen. Jinki sighs in content when Kibum presses a kiss to his temple before they settle in for real.

There are old Christmas movies playing and they stay on the couch for hours until Kibum has to pee. When he comes back, Jinki has fallen asleep and Kibum watches him fondly, determination suddenly taking over his eyes.

✕✕✕

On December 22nd Kibum brings up Jinki’s death again. Jinki frowns slightly and shakes his head when Kibum asks if they can talk about it because he wants to know. Jinki doesn’t want to tell, however. This only makes Kibum frown as well.

“We’re supposed to love each other,” Kibum says, slightly offended and Jinki widens his eyes in surprise.

“I do love you!” he says and Kibum draws his knees near his chest and rests his head on them.

“Why won’t you tell me about your darkest times then?” he asks and Jinki sighs.

“That’s low Kibum, and you know it.”

Kibum sighs and nods against his knees but he doesn’t change his position.

“I’m sorry. It’s true, though. I want to know what made you kill yourself…”

Jinki takes a deep breath.

“Severe depression over several years. I don’t really want to talk about it, and you know that. Now you have it, though, the reason to my death. Mental illness. Does that change anything?”

Jinki swallows the lump in his throat when he watches Kibum’s eyes turn soft. He slowly retracts himself from the position he’s sitting in and scoots closer to Jinki so he can wrap his arms around him.

“No, not between us. But it’s nice to know you weren’t abused,” Kibum says and Jinki scoffs slightly.

“Oh please,” he says but Kibum just stays firm. They don’t talk more about Jinki’s death but unspoken words still lie in the air.

✕✕✕

The mood is heavy when they wake up on December 25th knowing that when midnight strikes they will once again be left to their own for another 11 months. Jinki doesn’t want to wake up but he also doesn’t want to stay in bed for another second without Kibum there, so when Kibum gets up, Jinki does too. They cling to one another throughout the day, even though it limits their movements. Jinki can feel the sadness spread over the apartment, the heavy air that lies on them. He wants to promise to come back but he still doesn’t know if it’s actually a possibility.

They haven’t spoken of Kibum’s death wish and they haven’t spoken of Jinki’s death either. Jinki doesn’t want to tell Kibum more about Head Quarter and Kibum doesn’t ask. They both avoid the topic of the evening with mundane small talk. Around midday Jinki sighs and turns to Kibum.

“I love you, you know that, right?” he asks and Kibum sends him a soft smile.

“I love you too,” he says and Jinki nods a little. He doesn’t want their last day to be filled with the sadness of departing, so he forces himself to shake the thoughts away. Christmas doesn’t get easier but it makes the mood slightly less tense and the heavy air dissipates a little between them.

Kibum cuddles up to him and links their hands, while Jinki cooks only to make it more difficult. Neither of them care, however, because right now December 25 is forever. They’re standing in each other’s arms, rocking gently back and forth to Christmas carols while Jinki hums along. Kibum has his eyes closed and they’re just waiting for the music to end.

“You should sing more often,” Kibum says and Jinki looks at him with surprise.

“Really?” he asks and Kibum nods.

“Your voice suits Christmas carols,” he says and chuckles a little. “It’s so soft and beautiful. I’m glad I got to hear it when you decided to sing in choirs for me.”

Jinki blushes slightly at the memories and the praise but he’s happy nonetheless.

“You never sang for me, though,” Jinki counters and Kibum leans up to press a kiss to his nose.

“I’m not an angel, so I can’t sing like you.”

Jinki doesn’t think singing has anything to do with being an angel but he lets Kibum’s excuse pass and doesn’t say more. They continue cooking when the song changes again and the radio host starts talking and sending out Christmas wishes.

Their dinner is a feast but none of them have a huge appetite. They sit in the kitchen, candles lit on the table and snow falling outside the window. The weather is a dreamy winter and a wonderful Christmas and Jinki bets the city looks like a winter wonderland. Kibum closes his eyes for a minute before he starts eating and Jinki sends him a quizzical look. Kibum doesn’t reveal what he has been thinking in that minute.

As they eat, the mood slowly turns dim again and they cling to each other on the couch, lazy kisses exchanged between presents. There’s nothing new to their evening and it’s nothing new when Jinki’s body starts pulling him towards the hallway and control slips through his fingers as the clock strikes midnight. Kibum kisses him one last time, whispers of I love you following Jinki up the stairs and into Head Quarter.

✕✕✕

This time he doesn’t get grounded, but it doesn’t make it easier. Just like two years ago, Krystal invites him to Yunho’s apartment for their so-called party after another well-done Christmas, but Jinki’s mood is different this year. It’s not a happy time, not really. Knowing that he has another 11 months before he can see Kibum hurts so awfully bad and nothing the rest of them do to cheer him up works. It’s not like Jinki can actually admit that he has fallen in love with a human either, so he doesn’t.

✕✕✕

Jonghyun knows something is off when Jinki keeps staring at the paperwork, the same life story he has read twice already, only with the addition of his presence in Kibum’s life. Luna doesn’t say anything, but keeps sending him soft smiles and knowing gazes. Jinki wishes someone would just acknowledge that he has ed up. Maybe, he thinks, someone will come up with a solution that can help them be together for the rest of their lives. Jinki believes he’s the only one at Head Quarter stupid enough to be here despite the love that is bound to die out sooner or later because the dead cannot love the living. He sighs and buries his face in his desk.

It feels like every day drags on and Jinki doesn’t know what happens around him. He hears Minseok talk to someone new and he knows that Kai and Taemin still are trying to hide their relationship. He knows Minho is more stressed than usual and Ravi has been assembling bodies for days after two busses collided in a violent crash, leaving a few people dismembered.

When Jinki hears Kibum’s voice softly in the background, he thinks he has finally gone insane. He didn’t know angels could be insane but maybe it’s on time he resigns if he has started hallucinating. It doesn’t help that Kibum’s voice grows in volume and it isn’t until he hears a whisper in his ears and feels the wind of the breath on his skin that he deems himself fully insane.

“Hey trainwreck.”

Jinki turns around, expecting to meet nothing but instead stares into the two chocolate brown eyes he has fallen in love with. Kibum sends him a soft smile before he leans down and captures Jinki’s lips. Jinki lets confusion overtake his mind and love overtake his heart as he kisses Kibum back. They can deal with everything else afterwards.

✕✕✕

(“Hey Minho, I was … who are you?” Taemin says and both Minho and the stranger in front of him look towards him.

“Oh, Taemin, this is Kibum, he’s new in Monitoring. Mind showing him around?”

“Uh yes,” Taemin says and frowns. Minho ignores him, pushes a paper in Kibum’s hand and then pushes him towards Taemin. Taemin just groans.

“So you’re trainwreck’s boyfriend?” Taemin asks and Kibum nods, still baffled with the million screens in front of him. This is nothing like he imagined Head Quarter. It’s not even what Jinki described it to be like. When he registers Taemin’s words, he blinks confused and turns to the skinny boy.

“Wait, trainwreck?”

Taemin nods.

“Yes, uh, what was his name… He’s a Christmas Angel, that guy who got grounded last year, oh my god, come on Taemin, think!”

“Jinki?” Kibum tries softly and Taemin lights up.

“Yes! Jinki! Trainwreck!”

Kibum blinks again at the odd nickname.

“Why do you call him trainwreck?” he asks. Taemin’s eyes light up in mischief.)

✕✕✕
A/N:

I finished! I have no idea how I managed that but I did it, so yay. I hope you enjoyed it, it was a long story that genuinely shouldn't have been this long but whatever. If you have any questions, just ask. I don't bite. Comments are very much appreciated. <3

Oh, right, I wanted to explain... Celebrating Saint Lucy's Day is a very Scandinavian thing and I don't think it's celebrated many places around the world, and definitely not in South Korea but I think it's a really beautiful tradition, so yeah, I incorporated it anyway. So the girls they watch sing in Seoul are walking on The Day of Lucy to bring back light.