Kibum doesn’t open the door. He doesn’t acknowledge Jinki’s knocking or the ringing on the door bell. He doesn’t leave his apartment and he doesn’t even look out the window. Jinki sits on the stairs when he doesn’t sit in front of Kibum’s front door and time ticks by slowly. December 21 leaves and December 22 arrives. Jinki is still stuck in a hopelessness and his human depression, that hadn’t followed him in death, is sneaking up on him again, far worse than it has ever been when he was alive. To keep himself company when he isn’t trying to apologize to Kibum, he’s humming Christmas carols. This has got to be the worst kind of Christmas ever.

He sits on the cold staircase, elderly people glaring at him as they pass and he calls out to Kibum only to be met with silence.

When he on December 24th rises from his seat, his muscles are protesting and his body aches in ways it hasn’t when he was human. Jinki walks the streets silently, watches people connect over good food and laughter. The Christmas market is still there, open for the last day before Christmas the next morning and as he walks through the small streets created between the stands, he notices the tree stand.

The angel that looks like Jonghyun, the one Kibum had had an eye on, is still there, shining brightly between reindeers and Christmas trees and Jinki picks it out. It’s expensive, the details intricate and beautiful and the wood it has been carved in a dark mahogany. The salesman looks at Jinki with a lazy gaze. Jinki sends him a strained smile and buys the wooden figure and when he returns to Kibum’s front door, he places it on the door step. Kibum will have to leave his apartment sooner or later. With a pen he finds in his pocket he writes a small note on the brown paper it has been wrapped in and rings the doorbell. He doesn’t turn around to look at the door when he retreats again.

He might as well wander the streets again on December 25th like he did last year. It’s better than sitting in front of Kibum’s apartment door and being rejected once again.

As the sun sets, the streets lights turn on and the snow starts to softly fall again. He sits on a bench at the Arboretum and watches the trees slowly getting covered with white dusty snowflakes and he remembers. Jinki’s mind, however, doesn’t need to remember past Christmases of when he was alive for his heart to ache, it only needs to remind him of all the things he’s done with Kibum. He doesn’t feel the tear that tracks down his cheek nor does he notice the way he starts humming softly as he remembers hugs and kisses that shouldn’t feel so right.

There is nothing he wishes for more than going back 72 hours to when he was still with Kibum, still able to breathe in the other’s warm scent and hold his soft hands. Jinki’s heart aches and for the first time in years, he actually feels messed up, unloved and so undeniably wrong.

✕✕✕​​​​​​

His depression had been a long time coming, really. When Jinki was 12, he had been excluded by his peers for reasons nobody really understood. He had been the last person chosen when they did sports and he had been the last person asked when hanging out. He had been mocked silently, there at the expense of other’s so they could laugh at him and talk in the corners about clumsy Jinki.

This, of course, had led to everything it shouldn’t have. As much as he had tried to change himself, nothing had really ever worked and instead of becoming a challenge, it had become a burden. Jinki had withdrawn from everybody and he had started eating less. He had been sleeping more, his grades had been suffering and the only thing he could think of was the burden he had proved to be to the world. He was good for nothing.

All throughout his teenage-years, Jinki had been a loner. Every time anyone had shown a little interest in him, he had withdrawn, convincing himself that he was still a laughing stock, still the last one chosen. He wasn’t interesting and nobody deserved his company. His parents hadn’t noticed, not when he started eating again and as they stopped worrying, Jinki’s depression had turned stronger. Life had been difficult and without energy, he had been deemed lazy by superiors and seniors at his part-time job and he had been fired.

When Jinki started college at the late age of 25, he had actually managed to find a few friends. His mind had been telling him he was still a laughing stock, but determined to succeed in at least one thing in life, Jinki had carried on. Until that fateful spring when he hadn't been able to shower for 7 days in a row because of his mind. After then, things had only been going down-hill again, but this time hidden in plain sight and nobody had worried.

✕✕✕

Jinki sighs and rests his feet on the edge of the bench. His jacket-clad shoulders are collected white snow and turning his black jacket white. He rests his head on his knees but as he does so, he opens his eyes wide at the sight of two brown boots he knows all too well. He scrambles to his feet, only to lower his gaze. He’s too intimidated to look at Kibum. It hurts too much. Time goes by slowly until Jinki finally braves himself and looks up. In his hands, Kibum is holding onto a small brown package and a wrinkled note in a handwriting Jinki recognizes as his own. They’re staring at each other in the silence of the night.

“I told you not to buy it,” Kibum says and Jinki feels his heart shrink a little.

“I wanted to.”

Jinki wants most of all to just turn around, flee and maybe go back to HQ before time. He doesn’t know if that’s actually possible. He’s positive that Jonghyun and Luna aren’t going to come pick him up before midnight on the 25th so he is going to be stuck on Earth for the last 26 hours. Kibum takes a step towards Jinki and Jinki automatically takes a step back. It isn’t until Kibum moves forward again and sits down on the bench that Jinki realises he’s not about to be physically hurt.

“You’re going to be cold,” Jinki whispers when he sits down next to Kibum and Kibum shrugs a little.

“So are you,” he says and Jinki draws his knees towards his chest, feet again resting on the edge of the bench. Kibum is still holding the package in his hands, left thumb caressing the paper. Jinki forces himself to stop staring at his finger.

“Why are you here Kibum?” Jinki swallows the lump in his throat as Kibum stills his action and turns to look at him. He rearranges the package in his lap and Jinki fears for a quick moment that Kibum is going to hand it back along with the note and break Jinki’s heart beyond repair.

“Do angels really exist?” he asks in a whisper and Jinki widens his eyes in surprise. It takes a few seconds before he gains enough control over his body to close his eyes for a short moment before he opens them again. He looks at Kibum softly before he nods.

“Yes,” he answers. “I didn’t believe in life after Death either when I died. Actually, I kind of hoped it didn’t exist, that it would just be black but as it turns out, it’s anything but. I know it sounds ridiculous, ludicrous even, but I wasn’t lying to you, Kibum. The man you met last year that sung you carols and followed you to the hospital and built you snowmen, that was also me. I had you show me around Daegu under the cover that I had just moved here and you only reluctantly had a coffee with me afterwards. I promise, if there was anything I could do to stay with you throughout the year, I would do that, but I don’t know if that’s a possibility.”

Kibum keeps quiet when Jinki stops. Jinki worries his lower lip between his teeth as he watches Kibum’s reaction. The mood is tense in a weird way. It’s not negative, not like they’re about to fight again. It’s not positive either, not really. It’s expectant of what the future holds. There are only two ways from here, either Kibum thinks he’s lying or he believes him against all odds.

“You were that man,” Kibum whispers and doesn’t react to anything else Jinki has said. He doesn’t blink, just sits there silently as he stares in front of him again, looking at the trees. Jinki nods, although Kibum isn’t able to see. “Please sing The First Noel.”

Jinki blinks surprised at the request but starts softly anyway. He doesn’t notice that Kibum scoots a little closer and closes his eyes, softly breathing in the sound of Jinki’s voice. Jinki feels his throat constrict when tears form in his eyes and as he continues to sing, they slowly start to trek down his cheeks. When the song ends in a soft whisper, Kibum is crying as well.

“It really is you,” Kibum says and Jinki nods.

“I’m sorry, Kibum.”

Kibum shakes his head a little and lifts his hand slightly, only to let it fall back to his thigh.

“Will you come back next Christmas?” he asks and Jinki nods again, making promises he doesn’t know if he can keep. But he wants to come back for the next 50 years.

“If you want me to come back,” Jinki says and Kibum snorts a little. It sounds a little choked up and Jinki can’t fight the soft smile that lifts the corners of his lips.

“I want you to come back...” Kibum admits a few seconds later and when they finally get eye contact, both of them have tear-streaked cheeks and soft smiles on their lips.

“Would it be inappropriate of me to ask you to celebrate Christmas with me?” Kibum asks and Jinki shakes his head.

“I’d be more than honoured to do so,” he says and Kibum chuckles a little before he leans in and kisses Jinki softly. It’s apologetic and hesitant but Jinki wants it as much as Kibum does. Both of them are too scared to truly admit to their feelings, however, so the kiss stays soft and hesitant. Despite all that, it’s the best Jinki has ever gotten. They walk back to Kibum’s apartment hand in hand, wooden angel forgotten on the bench in the Arboretum.

✕✕✕​​​​​​​

When Jinki wakes up on December 25th he’s lying in a soft bed with an arm slung over his chest and a warm breath tickling his neck. Kibum is sniffing softly in his sleep and Jinki shifts slightly so he can turn his head and look at him. Kibum’s blonde hair is messy against the pillow and there are marks on his cheek but he looks so innocent in his sleep.

He may have to leave tonight but as they lie in bed, Jinki promises himself that he will do anything for Kibum today so his Christmas becomes the best he has ever had. He knows, deep inside, that nothing beats childhood Christmases but Jinki is willing to give it a try.

They lie in silence, Jinki too occupied with just staring at the sleeping man, until Kibum stirs.

“Morning,” Jinki softly whispers when Kibum rubs his eyes and Kibum blinks suspiciously until he realizes that it isn’t a dream. Jinki is really here to celebrate Christmas with him. They stare at each other for another few seconds before Kibum yawns and lays down with his head on Jinki’s chest. Jinki can feel his heart beat against his rib cage and it shouldn’t but he guesses that’s the consequences of being in love and he is undeniably in love with Kibum.

When they finally get out of bed, it’s 10.30 AM, their fingers are lazily linked and they have placed themselves on the couch with pieces of fruit and egg sandwiches in front of them. The TV is on, showing silly Christmas cartoons between bouts of morning news. Jinki is rubbing his thumb over the back of Kibum’s hand and Kibum smiles while he feeds Jinki fruit.

The atmosphere in the apartment is comfortable and in the windows hang the paper hearts they have spent December creating. Jinki has noticed that the small piece of mistletoe that Kibum stole from the market hangs over the kitchen counter, probably as a reminder of what they have created in the past month. If Jinki is honest, he doesn’t want to leave ever again. If there was a way to stay for all eternity with Kibum, he would have chosen that.

Kibum seems to have chosen to forget that Jinki will leave as soon as midnight arrives. But even with the knowledge that they will only have hours left together until next year, they both choose to steer the conversations away from that.

As they eat a late lunch around 2 PM, Jinki observes a quiet Kibum and he knows that he’s thinking, holding back from asking because he doesn’t want to sound curious or ask any offensive question.

“Just ask,” Jinki says and Kibum looks up with wide eyes.

“I wasn’t…” he denies but Jinki just sends him a smirk and continues eating his rice and the kimchi on his plate. Kibum sighs deeply and pokes his chopsticks in his rice, playing around with them for a few seconds before he finally puts them down and looks up.

“What is dying like?” he finally asks and Jinki raises an eyebrow.

“Are you sure you want to know that on Christmas Day?”

Kibum nods and relocates from his chair to Jinki’s lap. His lunch is forgotten and he presses a kiss to Jinki’s lips. Jinki sighs as he’s forced to put his chopsticks down with a lapful of Kibum. He guesses he wasn’t that hungry anymore.

“It’s not that bad.”

Kibum raises an eyebrow when Jinki doesn’t say anymore.

“That’s it?” he asks and Jinki shrugs.

“That’s what you wanted to know, right?” Kibum frowns and shakes his head and Jinki chuckles while he wraps his arms around Kibum’s midsection. “Dying is not really anything. The confusion when you wake up, however, is much worse. I met Taemin first in Monitoring and it was not a good experience. I think most other people get a softer awakening after death before they meet either Minseok or Minho.”

Kibum listens curiously but it’s obvious to Jinki that he doesn’t fully understand anyway.

“Are they also angels?” he asks and Jinki thins his lips before he shakes his head.

“No, it’s… I don’t know what they are really. Are you really sure you want to have this conversation on Christmas Day?”

Kibum rolls his eyes and rests his arms on Jinki’s shoulders.

“What else would we be talking about?” he asks and Jinki frowns in offense.

“Am I only exciting to you now that I’m not human?” Kibum chuckles and leans in close but not close enough and Jinki feels his breath hitch at the sight. He wants to lean closer, wants to capture his lips in a kiss and forget the conversation but Kibum keeps pulling slightly away, keeping the distance between them even when Jinki leans forward.

“I’m going to learn everything about angels,” he tells him and Jinki just sends him a smirk. There’s no way Kibum will learn anything about what it’s really like. No books describe Heaven like the HQ really is. Even dramas and movies that have tried to establish a different Heaven is nothing like HQ.

“Good luck,” Jinki says and it’s enough to get Kibum to finally connect their lips. The kiss turns heated after a few seconds, fingers digging into scalps and running over backs and Jinki almost forgets himself in the heat of their kiss. When they part, Kibum is breathing heavily and Jinki sends him a small smile as he leans close to connect their lips one last time. It doesn’t last long but it’s enough to transfer their love for one another.

They relocate to the living room again, the snow falling from the sky and the two of them cuddling on the couch. Kibum is clinging onto Jinki and Jinki is enjoying the warmth of his body. It feels almost like being alive. They are watching TV without really watching, both of them occupied with their own thoughts. They have decided to take it slowly, to enjoy the evening just the two of them without doing much.

They don’t need to exchange presents or turn the light on the Christmas tree on, but as the evening nears, they end up turning the lights on anyway. The tree, that Kibum had earlier been adamant about not getting because he had Jinki, now shines in the corner of the living room, dressed in wobbly paper cones and a broken star on top, but it’s the best thing Jinki has ever seen because it’s theirs.

Kibum cooks a small dinner and Jinki does the best he can at distracting him with kisses and tickles. There’s laughter filling the apartment along with the soft smell of their dinner and when they sit down to eat, Jinki hums slowly to the sound of the radio. Kibum looks at him softly and Jinki feels a slight blush on his cheeks.

Time goes by fast in good company and when the time nears midnight and they’re lying on the couch once again, snuggling together, Jinki is reminded that this is supposed to be goodbye for now. He turns in Kibum’s hold and Kibum looks at him with a questioning gaze. Jinki just sends him a smile and presses a kiss to his lips without a word.

They have been kissing more in the last 24 hours than throughout December but it’s okay because this is their last kisses in a long time.

A strong burn surges through Jinki’s body when the clock strikes midnight and he almost jumps from his position on the couch. Kibum looks at him curiously until he notices time.

“It’s now,” Jinki says with a whine and Kibum nods a little, eyes glazed over with some kind of acknowledgement he doesn’t really want to portray. They both get off the couch. Jinki’s legs carry him to the door on their own. It’s difficult to stop walking, really, some kind of magic forcing him towards the entrance. The control he used to have over his limbs is slipping from him like sand slipping through fingers. Kibum chuckles a little at the sight as he holds him back when they stand in the hallway. Arms wrapped around one another in an embrace, Jinki looks up and gets eye contact with Kibum.

“I love you, Kibum.”

Kibum blushes slightly.

“Just come back next year,” he says before he presses a kiss to Jinki’s lips. Jinki closes his eyes and forgets himself for a moment before the control he doesn’t have pulls him from Kibum and leads him up the staircase.

When he opens the door to the roof, he steps into HQ.

✕✕✕​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​

“You’re grounded,” Jonghyun says the moment Jinki steps into the white office. Jonghyun looks at him with a frown and displeasure is written everywhere over his features.

“Wait, what?” Jinki says and blinks. “Why?”

“What did I tell you about the basics of being an angel?” Jonghyun asks and he sounds almost tired when he lets a hand through his soft hair. His wings flutter behind him, feathers standing on edge as if he’s anxious. Jinki swears they look bigger this time.

“Uh,” Jinki says and tries to recall what he had been told two Christmases ago.

“I said,” Jonghyun interrupts. “That you weren’t allowed to tell anyone you were an angel.”

Jinki bites his cheek and tries to remember Jonghyun’s exact words. He does remember being told he couldn’t tell anyone he was an angel, but …

“You said they’d deem me insane and that it would…” he tries but Jonghyun sends him a gaze that would have killed him had he not already been dead.

“I know what I said and I’m also grounding you. Spend the next two months reflecting.”

Jonghyun turns around and is about to leave the office when Jinki asks to his paperwork. He doesn’t get an answer, but he learns later when he sits on his bed in his chamber that he’s not allowed to do anything while he’s grounded. This leaves for less time to actually finish his paperwork when he comes back and the amount has certainly not dwindled.

✕✕✕​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​

Spending two months in isolation is torture. Not only does he need the communication with others to not feel lonely, the memories of Kibum gets stronger and stronger. Jinki longs for his embrace, for his warmth and for his scent. He keeps imagining Kibum’s voice talking to him softly and if Jinki didn’t know any better, he’d consider himself insane.

He knows Yuta has tried to sneak by just to talk to him for a few minutes but Jonghyun is apparently all-seeing and he doesn’t let anyone near. Jinki kind of wishes he could kill himself again to stop the grounding. He knows he can always retire but there’s no way he’s going to retire when he has promised Kibum to come back. The only thing he can do is live with the silence even though it’s slowly testing his sanity.

Jinki expected the depression to come back, but it hasn’t. That in itself is quite a feat, but for some reason, it would have been easier to deal with now. When all he can do is lie in bed and stare at his walls, it would have been easier to have the company of self-hatred and self-loathing. But he must do without. He has forgotten time, doesn’t really know whether it’s still January or if it has become February already.

Every day is the same and Jinki hates it more than anything. He should regret it, want to turn back time and never tell Kibum, but he doesn’t regret it.

✕✕✕​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​

On February 26th, when Jonghyun knocks on his door to tell him the grounding is over, Jinki isn’t even sure he wants to leave his chamber. It takes a lot of prodding and Yunho passing by to get Jinki out of his bed and onto 2nd floor. He avoids the curious gazes he gets and Yunho puts a hand around his shoulder, protecting him slightly. It feels nice to be the small one in the company of the older Christmas Angel.

When he’s sat down at his desk, Krystal leans over hers so she can look at him with a soft smile.

“Hey Jinki,” she says and Jinki nods a greeting her way. She doesn’t sound intrusive in any way and Jinki appreciates it. Yunho leaves him alone seconds later when someone Jinki has yet to meet calls for him. Krystal is writing on her papers with her pink pen, the sound of pen meeting paper a soft melody to Jinki and he closes his eyes so he can forget the stares and focus on the reality in front of him.

Just because he has spent the last two months in isolation, doesn’t mean he can forget where he is nor his promise. He needs to finish with paperwork to be able to get back to Kibum.

✕✕✕​​​​​​​​​​​​​​

It’s Kyungsoo that notices his warning first but instead of pointing it out while Jinki is at his desk, he waits until Jinki has to search through the Archive for Kibum’s grandmother’s resting soul. He corners him between the rows of P-200’s and P-250’s and Jinki looks up in confusion until he notices that Kyungsoo is looking at the scar on his hand. Jinki wraps his other hand around it, trying to disguise it but it’s too late.

“You got a warning?” he asks in a whisper and Jinki sighs deeply.

“I don’t want to talk about it,” he says and Kyungsoo raises an eyebrow. Jinki tries to flee but Kyungsoo doesn’t let him get away and Jinki is stopped only a few feet later.

“Why did they ground you?” Kyungsoo asks, tone strict and Jinki crosses his arms in defiance.

“That’s my business only,” he says and Kyungsoo frowns.

“I’m just trying to help you,” Kyungsoo says in a harsh whisper and Jinki turns his gaze away. He doesn’t know how much Kyungsoo will be able to read on him, but he knows there’s no way Kyungsoo is going to understand and there’s no way he can help.

“You won’t be able to help anyway.”

Jinki bites his cheek before he turns away from Kyungsoo again and starts looking through the files in the Archive. Kyungsoo sighs heavily from a few feet behind him.

“If you change your mind, you know where to find me.”

The Archive is then filled with the sound of footsteps as Kyungsoo turns around and disappears back towards HQ. Jinki sighs and misses Kibum’s grandmother and has to start over on the row he’s on.

✕✕✕​​​​​​​

Days pass and months go by. Jinki is busy with paperwork and it doesn’t leave much time for anything else. In July, he gets an epiphany while in his chamber and he sets out on a mission. He needs to figure out if there is any way he can go back to being human. He tries to ask around vaguely but nobody seems to understand what he truly wants to know. He digs into books and old files that he finds laying around but none of them can answer his question. Jinki even goes so far as considering asking either Luna or Jonghyun. He decides against it, however, when he realizes that they’ll likely ground him again for such ludicrous thoughts. Instead he turns his questions elsewhere.

✕✕✕​​​​​​​

“Minseok!” he greets and the older man looks up from his desk, hair messy on his head. The smaller man sends Jinki a soft smile and flips the large notebook in front of him. The pen disappears in thin air. Jinki doesn’t know how they do it.

“What?” Minseok asks and he sounds genuinely curious.

“I have a question,” Jinki says and sits down in front of the large desk. Minseok uses the Office slightly differently than Minho. Even though it’s the same furniture, the same cabinet behind him and the same large notebook in front of him, it feels warmer somehow when Minseok sits in the chair. It’s not that Minho doesn’t feel warm but rather that Minho is much more likely to stick to protocol because he hasn’t had as much time as Minseok to memorise it. Minseok nods and urges Jinki to continue.

“Can a dead person be brought back to life?”

The question has Minseok’s eyes widening comically.

“No, of course not,” he says and chuckles. Jinki tries hard not to frown. “The dead are dead and the living are living. Some of us might walk the Earth again after Death, but it’s impossible to come back to life.”

Minseok tilts his head and places his chin on his folded hands and Jinki kind of wants to leave him alone without answering the question having in the air.

“Why do you ask?” Minseok finally asks out loud and Jinki groans.

“It’s nothing really. I was just curious.”

Minseok nods awkwardly with his chin still in his hands. A woman enters the Office before Minseok gets to ask another question and Jinki slinks out of there when he notices Minseok’s wife approaching him with papers in her hands and hearts in her eyes. Some people are lucky to die with their loved ones, he guesses.

✕✕✕​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​

In October, he stumbles into Taemin and Kai. They look at each other with a glance of something Jinki can’t really determine and he lets them pass. It isn’t until a few weeks later that he realizes that the way Taemin looks at Kai is the same way Kibum looks at him. The memory of Kibum makes Jinki’s heart ache and it makes him jealous.

It’s really stupid that he fell in love with a human when everybody else seems to have dealt with the loss of their loved ones and being separated. Even Yuta doesn’t seem to react much to the sight of the love that is hidden within HQ. It’s not that there’s a lot of it and maybe Jinki is really sensitive and irritable and maybe he’s just undeniably in love and it hurts to be apart.

He still hasn’t found a solution to whether or not he can turn human again and he still hasn’t dared ask Jonghyun or Luna. It may be a stupid wish, especially after Minho laughed at him and after Kyungsoo sighed deeply and shook his head, but Jinki still really wants to be with Kibum and he wants to be with him more than 25 days every year.

When November rolls around and the case board starts showing signs of Christmas cases, Jinki hovers around it like a predator. He still hasn’t finished his paperwork but to hell with it, because he needs to get Kibum’s case. In the middle of November there’s still no sign of any case of a certain Kim Kibum and Jinki is starting to get anxious. He can’t go back if he has another case. Even if he chooses a South Korean case, there’s no promise it’ll be in Daegu nor that he will have the time to go back.

Sooyoung sends him an odd glance when she picks her case, an elderly lady in Brazil and Krystal frowns towards him when she chooses a young girl in China. He knows that there are cases he could take, cases he’s expected to take, but he still stalls. He waits for hours in front of the case board, scrolling through cases over and over again.

Jonghyun taps his shoulder on November 23rd and asks him to please choose a case soon and Luna clears near his desk in another reminder on November 26th. Jinki is starting to lose hope and has started to look through cases that is also South Korean. There aren’t a lot of them and Jinki would very much like to avoid Seoul so he doesn’t run into people he knew when he was alive. He hasn’t cried yet but the pain in his chest blossoms with the absence of Kibum’s case.

It isn’t until November 28th when Jinki is about to put his fingerprint on a young boy in Mokpo that he notices a new case.

With one last hope, he pulls it forward and there is the name he has been waiting for. Jinki blinks, just to be sure. But it’s there. Kibum’s case is right there, the loss of a lover added to his list of reasons and Jinki’s finger shakes slightly when he puts his fingerprint on the case. He’s going back. Jinki doesn’t notice the tear of relief that rolls down his cheek nor does he notice Luna shake her head behind his back or Jonghyun sighing softly.

✕✕✕​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​

The snow is falling softly on December 1st in Daegu, when Jinki steps onto the streets from a new apartment complex. He doesn’t expect to be overrun or embraced tightly but when he hears the voice that whispers greetings into his ear, he melts completely and presses closer, hugs tighter.

“You came!” Kibum whispers and Jinki sends him a small smile when they pull apart.

“I promised,” he says and Kibum lets go of Jinki so he can wipe tears from his cheeks.

“How did you know I would be here?” he asks and Jinki frowns a little.

“I didn’t.”

Kibum looks slightly confused until he laughs. Jinki is still confused and he’s still frowning.

“Of course, you would appear where I am, right? You’re an angel.”

Jinki chuckles when he finally registers Kibum’s words before he pulls the other man close again and closes his eyes so he can soak up Kibum’s warmth and his scent.

They stand like that in what feels like forever but Jinki is reluctant to let go when Kibum starts to squirm a little in the embrace. Kibum sends him a soft smile and leans close to peck his lips quickly once before he pulls completely away. Jinki automatically leans a little closer again. It causes Kibum to burst out into laughter and Jinki raises an eyebrow in question. Kibum doesn’t explain as he calms down, but he links their fingers lazily before he starts pulling Jinki with him down the street.

They end up in Kibum’s living room. Jinki is slowly letting his hand scratch Kibum’s back and Kibum leans against him and sighs in content.

“I tried looking up angels,” Kibum starts and Jinki stops his scratching for a moment before he begins again with a hum that allows Kibum to continue. “But everything is so religious and you never struck me as the religious representation of an angel. You don’t even have wings.” Kibum stops for a few seconds. “Why don’t you have wings?” he asks in a quiet voice and Jinki removes his hand from Kibum’s back so he can play with his hair instead.

“This is my 3rd year as an angel. We don’t get wings when we sign the contract. They’re earned.”

Kibum removes himself slightly from Jinki so he can look at him curiously.

“You have to tell me more tomorrow.” Jinki just nods and before he knows it, Kibum has straddled his lap and connected their lips again. This time the kiss is deeper, more emotional. The kiss is allowed, consented, wanted. Jinki lets his hands slide over Kibum’s side softly and revels in the giggles that are whispered against his lips. It only urges Jinki on and soon enough, they’re both laughing out loud in a tickling fight while their instant coffee turns cold on the coffee table.

✕✕✕

The snow doesn’t let up and as the wind picks up and the snow starts drifting over the roads, Kibum starts paying attention to the news. Jinki watches curiously when he finds his beloved on the couch, the sound of the TV loud enough to be heard next door. Kibum doesn’t look up and he doesn’t acknowledge Jinki’s presence but Jinki likes it like that. It’s like they have done this often. It’s a routine Jinki never knew could be established so quickly but here it is.

The newscaster warns people that driving is difficult tonight because of the bad visibility because of the snow and Kibum sighs out loud. Jinki sits down beside him and hands him a cup of instant coffee and Kibum takes a sip of it.

“Looks like I’ll have to call in sick tomorrow,” he says to no one in particular and Jinki shakes his head.

“You’re not sick, though.”

This has Kibum turning his head and he glares at Jinki before he softens a little.

“I can’t leave the apartment in a snow storm like this and they say it’ll only get worse,” he says and his look in his eyes turn slightly mischievous. “Besides, I’d rather spend the day with you.”

Jinki feels his cheeks flush and his heart beat and he takes a sip of his coffee to hide. Kibum knows him all too well, however. It’s incredibly how comfortable Jinki feels in his company and it’s even more incredible how comfortable Kibum feels in his company.

They haven’t spoken more about angels and death and Jinki wishes Christmas could go on forever without but he knows it isn’t going to happen. Kibum needs answers and Jinki is willing to provide him with them. Even if it causes him another 2 months of grounding. He knows that as long as Kibum stays happy during December, Jinki won’t get another warning and he will do anything to avoid December and Christmas to turn sour, even just for a second.

Jinki isn’t magical, not really, but he is an angel and his job is to make Kibum happy. It helps that the love he bears in his heart makes Kibum’s smile the most glorious sight and his laughter the most magical sound. Kibum pokes his cheek when Jinki lowers the coffee before he leans in to press their lips together again. It’s a little excessive, really, the way they kiss all the time, but it’s like the gravitate towards one another and Jinki can’t honestly say he doesn’t like it so he doesn’t. Instead he just lets Kibum kiss him as much as he needs to.

✕✕✕​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​

It’s December 6th and they’re sitting at the library in a study area. The library is relatively empty, most schools taking it easy the one week before winter vacation. Kibum has a few books spread out in front of them and Jinki sits beside him, leaning over his shoulder as Kibum points to fragments of text and pictures.

A picture of an angel shows up and Jinki doubles over in surprise. Kibum looks at him with a silent question. The picture is a painting of a short man with soft eyes, a sharp jawbone, ruffled black hair and Asian features and on his back is silver-colored wings that reach his thighs. The feathers look slightly ruffled but it’s unmistakably someone he knows.

“When is the painting dated?” Jinki asks and ignores Kibum’s unsaid question. Kibum lets his eyes scan the page before he turns to Jinki.

“1723, why?” When Jinki doesn’t answer, Kibum tries again. “Jinki, why? Seriously…”

Jinki blinks and forces his gaze from the painting in the book. Seeing the painting has only brought an insatiable curiosity with it and he can’t stop it now. It takes everything he has to forget the young Jonghyun in the book and turn all his attention back to Kibum. Kibum is pouting, obviously unhappy with being ignored and Jinki sends him a small smile.

“I know that man in the painting,” he says and Kibum widens his eyes in surprise.

“No way,” he says and Jinki chuckles as silently as he can when they attract a few gazes from the few people around them.

“Yes way,” he whispers back and Kibum closes the book before he stands abruptly. Jinki looks at him from his seat when Kibum scoops the book into his hands and starts walking towards the desk. It takes a few seconds before Jinki realises he’s about to borrow the book and he scrambles after Kibum.

The book lies open on Kibum’s kitchen table on the painting of Jonghyun and there are a few papers spread around the book. Kibum sits on one side, Jinki on the opposite. Jinki is look at the painting of Jonghyun upside down but it doesn’t really matter, he knows the features of the Head Angel well enough. Kibum has a crease between his eyebrows as he tries to make sense of the fact that Jinki knows the picture of the angel in the book. Jinki would still very much like to know why Jonghyun is depicted in a human book with his wings but his curiosity has been replaced with nervousness at knowing what kind of conversation is about to come. He has tried to persuade Kibum to forget it, to just cuddle on the couch and watch Christmas movies but Kibum is scarily determined. Jinki bites his lower lip before he sighs.

“His name is Jonghyun, he’s the Head Angel of the department for Seasonal Angels,” Jinki starts and he can see the questions pile up in Kibum’s eyes. “There are a few different kinds of angels. Guardian Angels are probably most well-known. Then there’s Seasonal Angels who are angels like me. There are Crisis Angels that deals mostly with life crises, there are Elemental Angels that deals mostly with natural disasters and the humans affected by them. Anyway, there’re a lot of angels and Jonghyun deals with Seasonal Angels.” Kibum’s eyes light up and Jinki sighs before he continues. “We’re not the only guys at Head Quarter, though.”

“Head Quarter?” Kibum butts in and Jinki sends him a kind smile.

“Yeah.”

Kibum looks towards the papers before he scribbles down notes on what Jinki has just told him. Jinki panics and reaches over the table to grab the paper and Kibum glares at him when he ends up putting a line on his table. They stare at each other for a few seconds until Jinki lets his shoulders hunch over and Kibum sighs deeply.

“I’m sorry,” he says and Jinki softens. As he hands the papers back to Kibum, their fingers brush.

“Can’t we talk about something else? Like how we should order food sometime soon because I’m getting kind of hungry,” Jinki says and Kibum is about to interrupt when his stomach growls and Jinki sends him a smirk. Kibum growls but let Jinki pull him out of the kitchen anyway.

A/N

So obviously this turned longer than anyone had really ever expected and it's horribly slowburn but if much was to happen you'd end up with a 14k chapter or smth. Next chapter is hopefully going to be the last as they're now together again during the third Christmas and I really didn't plan for more than three Christmases. 

I'm sorry! >.<'  (Also I can't name chapters...)