As he stares at his reflection slumped against the wall exhausted and sweaty he starts to wonder what he's doing there. Why he is giving him self this break when he knows he doesn't deserve it, doesn't deserve even a five minute break when he still can't perfect that one move that has been eluding him for so many days or weeks he can't quite remember how long they've been practicing it.

So that's why he is here all alone at this ungodly hour, the clock on the wall tells him it's some time past 4 in the morning but his vision is too blurry to have any chance of seeing the second hand. The other members had left hours ago he thinks they've already given up on bringing him home at a reasonable hour but then again he thought he never did deserve their affection.

Didn't deserve their constant worry for him didn't even deserve to be in the same group as them, at this stage he was just waiting for either management or their fans to see all his flaws and he would eventually be kicked out. It is inevitable really.

But honestly he thinks that would be better for everyone then he could no longer drag them down that way. It's not just that though, he had enough of the sleepless nights that leave him relying upon coffee after coffee. Enough of the non-stop dance practices that leave him exhausted to the point that he throws up from over exhaustion. Enough of the too taxing diets that have him craving food after not eating for days. Enough of the constant comments telling him he's not good enough and should leave the group, like he doesn't already know that.

So that's when he decides he's had enough for tonight that another sleepless night would do him no good. With that thought in mind he pushes himself up from the floor wobbles to collect his gear, somehow manages to turn off the speaker and to turn off the lights without collapsing. He stumbles out of the company building and makes his way along the pavement as the cold breeze blows through his hair. It numbs his thoughts for a while at least.

And then he's infront if their dorm and it all feels real again so he climbs the stairs (the elevators been broken for a few weeks now). He unlocks the door and makes his way to the kitchen, decides to screw his diet for one night because right now he couldn't be bothered to let his managers words ring through his head about what he should be eating. So he starts to boil the water to make some ramyun.

And then he hears it the patter of feet against their hardwood floor and that when a head pops around the corner. A quiet whisper of 'hyung' and he whips his head around to see a dishevelled hwiyoung with a birds nest of a bed head and half lidded eyes.

"Sorry I woke you" he replies finding the scene a tad bit too endearing.

"It's okay just glad to see you home I was really worried about you though hyung, you're spending too much time in the practice room it's almost become your second home." He thinks about it for a second and realises there is some truth to the smallers words well maybe abit more then some truth to it.

"Yeah yeah I know just a little stressed is all need to get the dance perfect for our comeback. You should go back to sleep though get some more rest we're all quite stressed and tired recently." He felt bad now, he made his precious dongsaeng worry about someone like him who didn't even deserve their thoughts about him.

"No, it's okay I'll wait for you to finish eating and clean up. I know how hard you've been working lately and I wanna make sure you get to bed first, besides you don't need to worry about me I've atleast gotten some sleep unlike you and ... i just wanna take care of you hyung, make sure you're alright. You know how much we love you right."

And hwiyoung was looking at him with such caring and determined eyes that he couldn't really say no, so he  rolled his shoulder to loosen them up to relax a little and let out a quiet okay before going to put the noodle into the water along with the flavoring pack.

That seemed like a good enough response for hwiyoung as he sat down at their small table looking content just to look at the back of his tired hyung.

So he bought the ramyun over to their table and set it down, offering some to the younger before he declined and smiled seemingly all to happy just to watch him eat. And so that was that and after only a few minutes he was done eating and shuffling awkwardly to the bathroom to enjoy his hot shower that he missed so dearly. Hwiyoung just told him that he'd wait for him to be done in their room. So although he rushed his way through his shower as not to keep his bestfriend waiting for him, he was happy for once felt truly content not to think about all those insecurities that flood his mind daily.

                                       ~

Now here he is standing in the doorway of their shared room freshly shower and in clean clothes looking at where hwiyoung is sitting on his bed patting the space beside him in a silent offer. An offer that he was more then happy to take up, so he crawled into his bed beside hwiyoung and curled up against the younger as their legs jumbled together until he finally finds a comfortable position he thinks he can sleep in. He feels all the pent up stress just fade away, feels secure.

"You know your perfect right hyung, just so hard working and just so much more then we could ever need."

And that was just what taeyang needed because now he finally feels good enough.