Being here,in this world is nothing like being in hell. 

Why I should be the one who needs to be here of all the other people. Well, let's stop with the emo . This is college, aka the hell of every person who has a life. Not that I have one, all I do is sit in my room, staring at my computer. Having a double life isn't easy, no I'm not a spy or a C.S.I. agent. Bruh i'm just a ''normal'' teenager, but the thing is I'm a fangirl. Well let me explain, I don't like your boys, your instagram, your fany clothing line and the way you talk proudly about your one-night-stands. 

''What's up with that girl?'' It's not that I'm ugly, it's just that your life and problems seem boring to me because they are always about the same things. But things change well let me tellyou my story, how a fangirl found love. Impossible right?

------

2.09.17

My roommate gone, going to party is not an option for me. All girl and boys dance the same and having hormones range in a room with sweaty students. It's just isn't an option for me to go to that place.

''Never ever have I thought about having a relationship with my bias.'', A shot full of vodka going thew my throat, I smile in the mirror that is standing on the other side of the room. While staring at the mirror my roommate comes in with one of here one-night-stands. Hearing them kiss sloppy making me wanna vomit. Slowing I stand on my feet and peek around the corner. The boy looks pretty drunk, he breaks the kiss while I make a humming voice to get their attantion. 

''Is she going to join?'', he asks and smiles drunkly at me. I turn around and look for my shoes, phone and cigarettes. ''No not really, have a fun night, HyeJin.'' Ugh I hate that name, my name. ''Yeah yeah.'' I walk out of the room while I hear sounds of and making out again. Walking out of the building I light a cigarette and look at my left side. A boy is standing there and stretching out he's arm to me, what does he want? ''Can I have one?'' I look cockily at him, but then smile a little and hand him the cigarette. ''Have you been to Bora's party too?'' He asks while he lights his cigarette. ''No, not really, the only thing people do there is getting drunk and have in every room of the house.'' ''You are right, I left pretty soon when my little brother left with an older girl totally drunk.'' I look at him with my shook face and start laughing. ''Well your little brother is getting ed by my roommate, I guess.'' '' really, she must be as hot as you.'' ''Are you flirting with me?'' I ask him playfully. Before he could answer his younger brother came out of the building. ''She only me and then passed out!'' he shouts angry at his older brother. His older brother laughts childish at him and then tells him that his time will come soon or later. ''Yeah right, you already have someone new standing next to you.'' He stares at me and says; ''So you're his new victim, nice to meet you, you'll stay one night at this fancy hotel and then you will never see him again, goodbye.'' I stand there, my mouth doesn't smile anymore. Is he a boy? Without saying another word I turn around and open the door of the building.

''Wait! What's your name?'' The older brother shouts. 

''Lee Hyejin.''

After that the door closes.

-----

13.09.17

College couldn't be more stressful this week, luckily exams are over and it's the first day of vacation. My roommate is still sleeping and I try not to make to much sound to wake her up. I need to do one more thing before this vacation ends, my gym teacher told me if I didn't show up today I would fail his class. 

But instead of my gym teacher I find him inside the building, him...

''Hyejin what are you doing here?'' he asks while he drinks some water. As if he always knows wher I am or where I need to head to, he always finds me. ''My gym teacher told me if I don't show up today I would fail this class.'' ''What are you not good at sports?'' ''More like to move.'' I tell him sarcastic. After I told him, he runs towars me and tell me; Well, he isn't here, but I could teach you.'' Teach me what? ''Teacher me how to lose my V card.'' , did I say that outloud? What is wrong with me..

''Well if that's what you want to.'' He scratches his neck but doesn't look awkward even tho he's blushing. Stay cool, stay cool, say something cool. ''Do you really think I wasn't joking?'' ''You looked death sirieus.'' Now I am the one who is blushing. He's getting a little closer and I stepped back, but I hit the wall.

Am I scared?

A bit closer, I looked into his eyes and then slowly to the ground. One of his arms against the wall, the other on my hip. The kiss getting louder by every second, our bodies getting closer to each other.

''Ehmuhum..'' 

Or kiss was broken and I couldn't smile from that moment on. My gym teacher looked a bit shooked but also angry, not the best way to get your grades higher.  Before the guy I just shared a kiss with left he wisperd; ''Best birthday gift ever.'' In my ear.

-----

21.09.17

So I didn't lose my V card, but I had my FIRST kiss with a guy I don't even know the name of, great.

''Will I ever meet him again?''

''Yes you will, in your dreams.'' xxx