There was this unexpected guy who entered my life. He's cute and adorable and that’s my first impression on him. Well, I believe that whoever happens to see him will think the same just like mine. The first time I saw him was in the field, lunch time and he was alone. So, I approached him first. It’s not that I don't have friends. I have Taeyong, Ten, Jaehyun and Johnny and I think it’s not right to let this boy left here all alone I don't think he has friends.

 

"Hey buddy." I called and tapped his shoulder.

 

He looked at me with eyes widened, he must be shocked and its cute. I want to pinch his cheeks. How could this boy look cute like this without such an effort? Maybe, it’s his natural charm?

 

"Oh h-hi." He greets me back.

 

I sat next to him. He's trembling, maybe he is nervous coz a stranger is here talking to him. But, I don’t look scary, right?

 

"You know, I always saw you here eating your lunch alone. Don't you have a friends to eat with?"

 

"I have one, but I left him." He answered honestly. You can sense the loneliness in his voice. “I’m sure he hates me now.”

 

I sigh. It’s a sad story though so, I placed my arms around his shoulder and gave him my healing smile (according to Ten). I just wanted to share, you know? I’m just being generous.

 

"I can be your friend. I’m Nakamoto Yuta by the way."

 

"I’m Dong Sicheng but they call me Winwin."

 

Winwin and I became friends. This boy is freakin' cute and I can't resist his cuteness, even Taeyong. I want Ten to be jealous of Winwin and beg for my attention, or lend some time with him, but it’s just in my dreams. I used to like him, I really do, and my feelings were real. However, he will never look at me just like the way I look at him. He will never do that and I’m already tired. Friendship is the only thing he can offer. It’s sad, but at the same time, I feel happy because I won’t going to lose him.

 

However, unexpected thing happened. I fell for Winwin and it’s not my intention. Yes, I’m looking at him secretly and taking care of him. I get annoyed when he and Taeyong doing a skinships and always hanging around without telling me. I want to be the only one. The only one who doing things with him whether it is stupid or not. Anything that can make Winwin happy. Simple as that. This is, a little complicated.

 

I can't decide. Should I tell Winwin about this or not? I’m afraid of rejection again. Ten rejected me once and I’m afraid that it will happen again, so I remain silent. Being rejected by someone you truly like is hard. I know that feeling and I’ve been through on that.

 

I should accept the fact that this is how I live my life. Loving him someone secretly and do nothing.

 

What a coward Yuta.

 

There's a time, both Winwin and I bought his favorite snack, ice cream. Its great seeing Winwin happy with ice cream I bought for him, it made me really happy too. I just don't know why I love this boy.

 

Suddenly, I felt a tiny water drop on my palm.

 

"Hyung! It’s raining!"

 

I didn't say anything, I just grab him along with me and run while holding his hand. I wish I could stop the time for now and I don't mind running with him like this for the rest of my life, but we all know that its freaking impossible.

 

We stopped running in front of 7-11 store.

 

"Wait here, I'll buy an umbrella."

 

"Sure. I will wait you Yuta hyung."

 

I gave him a smile before leaving. I bought one umbrella only and smiled to myself. I just love the idea of Winwin and I sharing with the same umbrella. Damn it, I’m so in love with him.

 

"Stop it Yuta. Winwin might catch a cold if you don't stop." I warned to myself.

 

"I’m here. Sorry but I just buy one, would you mind if we just share?"

 

"It’s okay hyung."

 

I smiled again. I’m really happy.

 

I unfold the umbrella and lead the way for Winwin and pulled him closer to me to keep him from the raindrops and not to get wet. I want to protect him even if it’s just a little thing.

 

"Closer." I said.

 

"S-sorry."

 

We stay quiet, the sounds of raindrops are the only sound that you can hear this time.

 

I’m out of words. Damn it!

 

I seriously don’t know what to say. I want to talk to him, but my tongue is refusing to have a word. Aish what's wrong with me?

 

"Hyung."

 

"Ha?"

 

I looked at Winwin. He didn't talk, instead he looked down and I did the same. I don't know how to react when I saw my hand holding his.

 

"Oh sorry, It’s not my intention." I quickly apologized. I’m afraid to offend him.

 

"It’s okay hyung." He awkwardly smiled.

 

How can you make a mistake Yuta?! What if Winwin noticed? What are you going to do?

 

I want to tell him what I feel but at the same time I’m scared, I can't lose him. He is my only reason for now to keep going.

 

To be honest, loving someone secretly is very hard situation. You're dying to own them but you can't do anything about it because on the second thought, you might lose them. I will choose to live like his rather than losing them.

 

It’s pretty hard, seriously.

 

"Anyway Winwin, don't you have someone you like??"

 

"Someone I like? What do you mean hyung?"

 

"You like, I mean someone make your heart flutter like when the moment you saw that person, your heartbeat became abnormal. You know what I mean kid.”

 

"Ah. It was like, a scene in korean drama, right? Romantic feeling?" he asked innocently.

 

Aish this guy seriously! He's very cute! I wanna take him home and take care of him.

 

"Yes. Hahaha something like that." I chuckled.

 

He nodded like saying he figured it out.

 

"Of course. I have someone, but I don't think this person have the same feelings."

 

He has someone?

 

Of course, Yuta! What do you think of Winwin?

 

"Why do you say so?"

 

"Because we're friends."

 

Is it me?

 

Well I’m not expecting that he's talking about me, but I have this feeling that it is me. Right?

 

"You two close?" I asked and he nodded. "Taeyong?" I asked again.

 

He shook his head immediately while waving his both hands and saying "No he's not! I promise!"

 

Then is it me? Or not? I’m not sure but I am the only one who is closed with him? Who else? Yuta! What the hell are you thinking?

 

Yes, Yuta it’s definitely you! I couldn’t help but to think that way.

 

No. I can't keep that on my mind.

 

"Come on. I'll drop you off."

 

So, the time goes by Winwin and I became more closer than ever. My friends were teasing us coz we are always together. It feels good when Winwin is blushing because of me.

 

I’m really in love with Winwin. Yayks.

 

I was really happy that time.

 

However, that happiest time didn't long last. It has ended by the moment when a guy transferred to our school. He's from China where Winwin came from.

 

"Yuta hyung! He's here! He's really here." A cheerful Winwin came to me.

 

"Calm down! Who are you talking about?"

 

"The person I like! Remember? You asked me about him? Well, he’s here!”

 

It hits me. The person he like?

 

My smile faded away when he said that and realize that the person he like is not me. Its someone else.

 

"He transferred and you know, he's in our class! Wow I’m so happy Yuta hyung!!!"

 

It’s very obvious that he is so happy. The way his eyes twinkling, the curve of his smile became bigger unlike the times when he's with me.

 

It hurts.

 

All this time, I thought it was me. Its embarrassing though. Did I make him uncomfortable?

 

You're so stupid Yuta!

 

You're just dreaming that he'll like you.

 

You're so funny.

 

"R-really? Wow. I’m happy for you."

 

"Come. I'll introduce you."

 

Winwin dragged me somewhere, I think it is a place where the person he like is. I want to refuse but I don't have so much energy and I can't get him upset.

 

"Kun ge!"

 

I saw a boy