At 10:

There in the dark I stood, past midnight, with a knife in my hand, tears running down my cheeks and mind a mess. What was I going to do.... wait no.... what am I doing? Like how one would slice meat, I place my arm on the chopping board as I stand at the kitchen counter and.... one..... two..... three..... I see blood but for some reason, I don't feel the pain..... The scars from before have not healed but here I am creating new ones..... For what reason, I don't know..... maybe it's school..... maybe it's problems with my friends..... maybe it's just me..... I don't know, I really don't know..... When did I start? How did I start? What made me turn to cutting? I don't know, I really don't know.....

My mind is a mess..... My life is a mess.....

At 12:

It's me, alone again as I stand in the dark, concealed by shadows. I've fought with my parents and siter again..... Standing on the edge of the 18th floor and looking down at the lights on the roads, I feel so free, so at ease, so..... welcomed. Maybe I don't belong here, maybe my life is all a joke, I'm such a waste of space and resources, why am I still alive? The person I hold closest to me has passed, my only saviour, the only person that understood.... Why didn't you take me with you grandma? Why leave me alone in this world where I don't want to be in? I want to leave.... I want to be with you once again.... I'm coming.....

But before I could leave to find you, someone found me, someone stopped me..... Problem is, I don't know who, cause from that moment, I just broke down and cried while the stranger could only comfort me with a hug.... All I remember is a ring, one that had the word fearless on it, worn by a boy around my age I assume..... 

Save me..... please.....

At 16:

I've learn to hide all I've experienced and all my thoughts..... Listening without replying when I'm home because it's no use fighting for what I want and believe in, I don't care any more, I did not have a voice to begin with..... In school, I'm not a loner but I'm not friendly and popular either.... Just an average schoolgirl with one best friend, a few friends and average grades. I'm living, but I'm not really living, just going about my day mindlessly.... At times, my mind drifts back to that scene on the rooftop of my apartment when I was 12..... that boy..... who are you..... and that ring..... fearless.....

Can you be my light.....

Author's note:

Very dark starting, hope it didn't scare you in any way. It'll get better as the story progresses I promise. It's been a while since I wrote again so feel free to give me feedback and criticisms so that I can correct myself and improve in the future to bring you better works. Hope you guys enjoyed this chapter that gives you a look into the past of our main character:) Next chapter will be a lot longer as I'll start easing into the story.

Till next time~