JIYONG

‘'Jiyong-ah, have you call her yet?" Seunghyun asked. 20 more minutes till we perform. 20 more minutes till I know her decision.

“Yeah, but she haven’t call me back. Hyung, do you think she will do it?” I was worried. I know our relationship has been on the edge ever since I debuted, but she’s been by my side all the way. But suddenly, she told me yesterday that she can’t take it anymore. Can’t take of what you ask me? I don’t even know myself. She didn’t say. That what’s making me more nervous.

“ I’m not sure Jiyong-ah, but if she was by your side all this time, I think she would.” That’s what I thought. Seunghyun patted my back and said “ don’t worry Ji, just stay positive. I know how you feel right now..”

I knew exactly what he meant. I just hope that the result is the same to me. Seunghyun and Bom's relationship is how I want mine to be. No matter what happened, they’ve been together and supported each other. How I want that right now.

“Big Bang, 10 more minutes. Get ready” I heard one of our staff screaming through all the noise in our waiting room.

I looked around the room, the rat, Seungri is busy remembering his steps, Seunghyun is texting, I bet I know who it is since he has that smile that is only for that certain girl. Daesung and Youngbae are preparing for their make-up to be done. With all this, I wonder if she is thinking of me.

“Big Bang on stage now!” I heard the PD called. This is it. It’s time. Her decision will change my life forever.

“Next on stage are the boys who we all love, everybody.. Give it up for Big Bang! ” once the MC said the last word, our music starts.

My turn is next, I’m more nervous than when we debuted. As soon as I sang my line, nervously I look out to the crowd, with more careful now. Secretly scanning every faces of the crown. Just when I was about to finish my line, I saw her. I finally saw her.

There she is, the girl that I love. The girl that told me if she wanted to stay by my side forever and go through all the obstacles I’m going to face she’ll come. She will show up and support me today. And there she is. Showing her answer to me. And I love it. Every second I looked at her, I feel like I’m falling for her over again.

“I hate this love song.. I hate this love song.. I hate this love song..” I couldn’t help smiling as I watched her clap her hands along to our song, and the best part is that she’s looking at me, not at Seunghyun or my donsaengs, but at me, only me.

We finished our performance and went back to our waiting room. “stop smiling like that Jiyong-ah, people might think there is something wrong with you” Seunghyun said to me. I tried to stop, but I couldn't. My heart was making my brain stop functioning. Seunghyun just rolled his eyes when he saw me not doing it but gave a little laugh. I knew he was happy for me.

As soon as i went in the room, I ask manager Hyung for my phone. I called her with excitement.

(“I hate this love song.. I hate this love song)” I smiled as our song is her waiting call tone. I waited and waited and finally she answered.

“Hey” I smiled. I lover her sweet voice. The voice that can soothed me when I’m down, the voice that can cheer me up and the voice that I want to hear every moment of my life.

"You came." I mummbled, stating the obvious.

“yeah, I came.” I heard her little laugh.

“so are you sure about this” I just want to make sure.

“I’m sure, unless you don’t want me to I -”

“no! I want you to!” I said quickly.

“haha, I know. I was just playing.” Her jokes. Sometimes she can give me a heart attack because of it, but that’s one of the million reasons why I love her.

There was a pause. It was just as two, listening to each other breathing.

“ I love you Dara, I love you with all my heart. I don’t know what my life will mean if you are not in it. You know me inside and out. Every since we were kids, I care for you, I adore you and I love you. The minute when Appa told me that JiSook Ahjusshi's daughter will be coming I knew I would fall for you, but I didn’t know I will fall very hard when I saw you. The brown eyes of yours that are full of innocence and purity. Those strawberry lips of yours that I love to kiss and hear you call my name. your long wavy hair which you always think that it was too long and always on your way, but what you don’t know is that I love your hair as it is. I love how you run your hands through it and I love how it smells like strawberry when ever I hug you. When I finally confessed to you, I saw your eyes twinkle and I knew you felt the same way too. You’ve been with me ever since we were kids and you were always there to support me. You support me when I was debuting, you cheered me on our debut stage. You were there when I needed a shoulder to lean on. You know me for who I am, not the one that people write on my profile. D, If I have one wish for my debut, I wish that everyone know that my girlfriend and soulmate is none other than you. But I knew you would mind, you know how nasty the fans can get. You were concerned for me because if I did that, you and I both knew it will effect my career. Dara. When you called me last night and told me of how you can’t take it anymore, I thought my heart stop beating. I know it was hard for you all this time and I don’t blame you for making the decision to might leave but Dara-ah."

I paused. Trying to catch my breathe. My speech was too long that I even forgot to take my breathe..

"I don’t think I can continue my career or even my life without you. So when you said that you will tell me your answer of wether going to stay with me or not, I prayed every singe second for you to come. When I finally saw you, smilling at me, I felt like that my air was back. That my heart was beating rapidly again as it always does when I see you. So I thank you Dara, for everything. I want to tell you that I love you and only you. I want to tell you that I miss you even though you are close. I want to tell you how much you mean to me and how I will give up everything just so you can stay by my side. Park Sandara, I love you!”

I finally said my speech that I’ve been saying over and over again last night. 

Long pause. She is not saying anything. I’m worried, what if she came here to tell herself she doesn’t want to be together, what if she didn’t hear what I said, what if-

“ Can you say that again Ji?  In front of me now? Can you say it again?” I heard her voice. I turned around and there she was smiling with a tear falling. Behind her was the other members smiling and cheering me on.

“ I love you Sandara Park! I always have and always will.” she smiled brightly. I walked over to her and took her into my arms. I don’t care if people was watching, as long as I have in my arms again.

“I love you too, Ji. So much..” she whispered to me. I tighten my hug. Her hands interwined at my neck. I caressed her hair, the hair that I love and breath in her scent. How much I love her strawberry scent.

“ I guess that’s another addition to the girls that Big Bang have to protect, right Seungri?” I heard Daesung asked.

Daragon.. Dara love Jiyong. That’s all I know at this moment. And I will always.