2008

 

The day was like any other. HyunJoong woke up to the darkness of the SS501 house. He had fallen asleep the night before seated at the bedside of his lover. He did not mind such a place, for this was where he felt safe. Being here, he at least knew he could take care of his partner because, the reality was, he was extremely worried. The condition plaguing Jungmin was not something easily surmounted. He just wanted to see him well again. He missed the vibrance in his voice; the happiness that radiated off him like light from the sun. The whole group missed their member, but the sickness was most straining on the young couple’s relationship.

“Hey you fell asleep you're here again.” Jungmin said sleepily; his voice was tired and weak.

“Yeah but somebody's got to watch you.” HyunJoong gave a soft smile.

“Yeah but you should get some rest too.” his lover pleaded with him, his selfless nature still shining through at a dark time.

“You're right but you're more important.” the young man remarked. He ruffled Jungmin’s hair, before leaning down to lightly kiss his lips. As he stepped onto his side of the room they both smiled. They went to bed with a little bit of happiness between them, simply waiting on the morning to come, knowing the day would bring a new challenges as usual.  

 

*****

 

The next day came with an new wave of fear and doubts. Heavy coughs came to the expulsion of bloody phlegm. The weakness overwhelmed Jungmin, though he still found the strength to get out of bed. This was the sort of side effect one might expect from a heart condition. He did not want to spend time recuperating; he simply wished to be out and active once again. Sadly Hyunjoong shared the feeling. He wanted so badly to see Jungmin back on his feet and doing the normal things. Fortunately, he intended to help him do just that. He made sure to give him his medicine and to keep his spirits up as best he could. He would only leave him alone for a few moments as he couldn’t bear the thought of being away from him for so long.

“It'll be alright Min, I'll take care of you.” Hyunjoong remarked, getting a weary smile in return from his partner.

“Thank you hyun.”  He replied said leaning up for a kiss. They shared a tender moment; a kiss was exchanged whilst. Hyunjoong Jungmin’s hair. He then walked him to the living room sofa, where the rest of the band members were waiting.

“Hey Jungmin ah, long time no see, I'm glad to see that you're out and about a little bit” YoungSaeng immediately greeted his friend, giving him a wide smile.

“Yeah me too, man, you really had us worried.” KyuJong chimed in.

“I almost wish we didn't have to go to practice today, so we could stay here and hang out.” Hyungjoon sighed out, shaking his head in despair.   

“Or suppose we could do something after for you though.”  Youngsaeng suggested. They paused for a moment thinking of what they could do for him, before deciding they’d make some actual decisions when they returned. The other members went off to rehearsals, whilst Hyunjoong stayed behind as he already knew the choreography. He simply wanted to spend some alone time with Jungmin, and now, this was the perfect opportunity.

“Now that we’re alone, let's see if we can't get you some food.” Hyunjoong suggested, giving Jungmin a warm smile. The young man nodded in agreement, his stomach grumbling already at the thought of his lover’s incredible cooking.

“That would be great, babe; you're a great cook.” Jungmin sweetly complimented, causing Hyunjoong to blush slightly. With the encouragement of his partner, he prepared a meal of short ribs with a nice marinade, as well as a tender Galbai. The delicious smells filled Jungmin’s nostrils, causing his mouth to water and his stomach to grumble once again. He joined his boyfriend at the table, the two of them saying a quick prayer before tucking into their tasty meals.

They engaged in light conversations as they ate; Hyunjoong even managing to tease a few laughs from Jungmin as he told a couple funny stories. It was lovely to spend some time together light this, and for Hyunjoong, he was just glad to see his boyfriend eating.

“Wow that was filling; thank you, hyun."  Jungmin thanked him, patting his now full stomach. Hyunjoong gave him a smile, tapping his nose.  

“No problem at all."  he replied. After clearing the table quickly, Hyunjoong led his partner over to the sofa; the pair of them deciding that an afternoon cuddling up on the sofa was in order as their tasty meals left them feeling quite tired. After a while of simply cuddling together on the sofa and gazing into each other’s eyes, the pair moved around so that Jungmin could lay his head in Hyunjoong’s lap. The young man smiled down at his lover, whom despite his illness, gave him a smile back He leaned down to softly kiss his forehead, his fingers through his hair as he did so. As they became lost in yet another tender moment, their friends finally returned home.

“You guys are adorable.” KyuJong remarked upon walking through the door, causing the couple to jump as they hadn’t heard them come in.

“Can you increase the oxygen please?” Jungmin breathlessly spoke, “God, he scared me.” He placed his hand on his chest to steady his heart rate.

“Be careful scaring him guys; you remember what the doctor said.” Youngsaeng light heartedly scolded his friend, who gave an apologetic smile to their sickly friend.   

“Well, then guess it's not a good idea to tell you about the reality show they proposed after rehearsal today.” Hyungjoon announced with a raised eyebrow. Jungmin’s eyes widened considerably, a knot of anxiety forming in his stomach straight away. He refused to believe his friend was serious right now - a reality show, which would no doubt basically make him a public spectacle and display all his ailments for the world to see?  He hoped to God the guys would refuse this offer.

He glanced to his boyfriend; Hyunjoong was simply shaking his head, expressing the opinion that it simply wasn’t a good idea for the band and would lead to them not being taken too seriously. Jungmin was secretly pleased with his opinion.

But then again, maybe it would be a good idea - in the long run.

“I don't know, what do you think Min?” Hyunjoong asked after a few moments of silence.

“Well, at first I wasn’t too keen on it, but now that I'm thinking about it, I think it would be a good idea sort of.” Jungmin remarked, much to the shock of his boyfriend.

“We need to really think this over.” he sighed, rolling his eyes slightly.

“That's a wise choice.” Youngsaeng remarked, giving them a smile.

“Hyun, I got a bit over excited; can you turn up my oxygen please?” Jungmin said thumbing the nasal tube.

“Sure give me a second.” Hyunjoong said reaching for the valve. He did as his lover asked before cuddling him in.

And as silence consumed them all, he once again began thinking of this random reality show offer. This was going to take a lot of thinking, a whole lot of thinking.

 

*******

 

The next few days consisted of deliberating on whether or not they should accept the offer of having the show. All of them seemed to express the pros and cons of such, but surprisingly, it seemed that Jungmin was the biggest advocate for actually having the show. When they finally were called to a meeting with management to discuss their final decision, the majority of the group voted to actually do the show as they realized it would be a great marketing strategy. Hyunjoong was perhaps the strongest person against it, but came around by the end of the meeting after discussing all the benefits once again.

Later in the evening, the others were out for some rounds of bowling, whilst Jungmin and HyunJoong sat alone in the living room at the house. They were simply watching television, when suddenly, the atmosphere of the room switched like a light as Jungmin suddenly grabbed his chest. The pain shot through him as if a knife was being plunged through his heart, and Hyunjoong knew it was probably due to the stress of the day as it had been a long one. He simply gripped his hand until the pain subsided ever so slightly, before slowly making their way to their bedroom to lay down for a bit.

“Do you need to go to the hospital?” HyunJoong quietly asked as he rubbed his boyfriend’s back.

“No, I just need rest.” Jungmin replied with a lazy smile. The pair simply relaxed in each other’s arms, watching the television that was present in their room whilst keeping their arms wrapped loosely around one another. The remainder of the evening was pretty relaxed, and for the first time in a while, Jungmin felt so calm to the point where he hardly wanted the evening to end.

“Today was a pretty great day.” Jungmin quietly spoke a little while later after they’d been laying in silence, the atmosphere being so calm that it only felt natural to whisper.

“Yeah; I was just glad to be able to spend it with you.” Hyunjoong paused for a moment before speaking, “Jungmin thank you for loving me”.

“You're my strength; I'd be nothing without you Hyun” Jungmin said.

“I love you.” Hyunjoong sweetly spoke before planting a kiss onto the forehead of his lover, a little bubble of love closing around the couple as they shared a sweet moment together.

 

*****

 

A few days later, the producers for their “reality show” arrived in town, armed with cameras and sound equipment to get them started. They were present throughout the house, attaching microphones to the lads whilst rigging the house with cameras and sound devices.

Life with SS501 had officially begun.

The first day of being surrounded by cameras was irritating to say the least. The hidden equipment caught every single thing they said or did, the boys feeling like they had no privacy even in their own home. The plus side was, once the end of the day was reached, the cameras and sound equipment were turned off, giving them some alone time at night.

“Excuse me, can you have some oxygen tanks for Jungmin?” Hyunjoong asked one of the producers  

“Of course; we’ll even have full medical staff on call for you guys.” The producer said.  They went forward into the show relaxed knowing that their friend would be taken care of. But they didn't enjoy it at first. A reality reality show was hard getting used to. But they were going to enjoy a deeper connection to fans. That's something they could enjoy.

“So now that the show started and the live tweet thing is going crazy.” YoungSaeng said.   

“Yeah I know but I wish they turn off the camera sometimes.” Hyungjoon replied.

“Yeah but they're mostly worried about Jungmin.” KyuJong said.    

“It's good to see our fans are so kind.” Hyunjoong said. Fortunately they had a few hours before the camera shut off for the day.  They simply use the time to go out and about and enjoy some time together. They even stopped by a small charity function. There they donated the Holdings of the first week of the show to a small Children's Fund. After all they did love kids. During the charity function that came up on a young girl. She was a little thing no more than 10 but loved them deeply. After getting to eye level with her they realized that that she was enchanted by them. They spent a few minutes playing with her and she even hugged Jungmin carefully. They were all smiles as they took pictures with the sweet girl after learning her name was Momo.

“Oh my God you're here you're ss501. I'm Momo and I'm your biggest fan.” She said.

“It's good to meet your momo.  You can call me Oppa hyunjoong.” he said.

“Thank you. But can I do something real quick?” She said.   

“I don't see why not I don't see why not.” Kyujong replied.

“Can I hug Jungmin oppa?” She asked.

“Of course.” Jungmin said weakly.

“I hope you feel better oppa.” Momo said hugging Jungmin.

“Gomabseubnida little one.” He replied returning the hug, “Awe aren't you sweet.”

“I just love you guys. Jungmin is my bias.”  Momo said. Being around the fans stirred something in the band.  They loved kids but that one was special.  She was a wonderfully happy and full of life that it made them all smile. It was beautiful for the show as well.  Fans exploded with prayers and prayers for Jungmin.

“Hey guys lets have a nice night at home.” Hyunjoong said.  

“I agree.” Jungmin said. They decided to go home for a movie night.  Once the camera was off they could be themselves.  The relaxed and watched the adaptation of Assassination Classroom.  Toward the end, Jungmin fell asleep.  Hyunjoong laid him gently on his lap. Hyunjoong and Jungmin slept on the couch that night.  As they rested peacefully Youngsaeng and KyuJong went to bed.  Between the chaos of the show and helping take care of Jungmin they had little time alone.  They took the opportunity to cuddle in bed.

“We need some way to destress from the show.” KyuJong said rubbing his back soothingly to loosen up the tense muscles in his back.

“How about we stage a nice dinner. That'll be relaxing.” Youngsaeng said relaxing from the massage.

“Ok but where?” Kyujong asked.

“The new noodle place a few blocks away seems good how about there?” He replied.

 

****

Hyunjoong and Jungmin awoke as the first beams of the morning sun shot through the window.  They got up groggily and Hyunjoong laid his arm around his shoulder. Jungmin smiled, leaning in to kiss his cheek.  For a moment they could be lovers.  In the peace of the dawn there were no cameras to stop them.

“I guess we won’t get much time like this.” Jungmin said.  

“So let’s enjoy it now.” Hyunjoong said. For a moment they cuddled. Hyunjoong held him for a moment gently and his hair. He smiled down on him. Jungmin relaxed. He felt at home.

“You're so gentle.” Jungmin murmured.

“It's only because I love you.” Hyunjoong replied, the two of them remaining snuggled in each other’s arms to enjoy the peacefulness before the chaos began.

Of course, the peace and quiet was over after a few hours as the day’s filming began. Camera men and equipment cases filled the house quickly.  As the others went through their day Jungmin developed the weakness that the camera was fond of watching  He seemed dizzy with a leg for breath. Towards midday, a cameraman broke protocol and approached him in concern.

“neo gwaenchanh ni” he asked, quickly asking if he was alright.

“Call an ambulance.” Hyunjoong quickly replied, looking over at his lover with a look of fear as he held his hand loosely. The cameraman did as told, and the ambulance managed to arrive within the next few minutes to transport them to the hospital. The cameraman followed close but did not proceed into the ambulance, it seeming that he respected that this was a private moment that the cameras did not need to see.

Ultimately, after being checked over by the emergency room staff, Jungmin was admitted into the hospital for a few days to make sure he would be okay. As he lay in the hospital bed surrounded by his bandmates with the oxygen on his face and IV drip attached in his arm, there was a somber mood plaguing them all as they hated seeing him suffer.Hyunjoong sat on the side of the bed, holding his hand loosely.

“You're going to be alright Min, I'll do whatever I need to do to make it so.” he reassured his boyfriend, placing a soft kiss on his temple.

“Gomabseubnida Hyun.” Jungmin quietly replied, thanking him as he gave a small smile.