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Mina rubbed at her eyes, letting out a yawn. She leaned back in her chair and rotated her head back and forth, relieving the built-up tension straining her neck. She had been sitting at her computer desk for the past six hours and when she finally looked away from the writing she was doing, the sun was already peeking in through her curtains. 

She picked up her phone and she let out a breath when the numbers on the screen confirmed to her that it was indeed morning. 

She closed her eyes and leaned against the headrest of her chair and let her mind stay empty for a minute or two. She only opened her eyes when she heard the chirping of the birds outside the window. 

Running a hand through her hair, she didn’t even bother scolding herself for pulling an allnighter again. It almost seemed natural to her now. She would stay awake the entire night and then crash sometime early evening- if she managed to make it that long before crashing.

There was something different about being awake at night that made her feel calm. While the rest of the world was asleep, she was able to stay awake and be left alone with her own thoughts. She felt as if she had all the freedom in the world and it was a time where nobody could bother her. She liked it that way. 

Writing at night made her feel at ease with her thoughts. She had time to listen to new music, watch new videos, and look over her current projects. She was able to tap into her creative side with ease and it helped that she always felt more alive at night.

Yet, it was always a continuous cycle of self-hatred and regret when she had to drag herself to work the next morning. Fueling herself with nothing but caffeine, it was a tiring routine that she couldn’t break out of. 

She opened up her daily planner and her eyes skimmed through her schedule for the day. When she saw that her first job was in the afternoon, she threw her phone back onto the table and crawled into bed. She threw the blanket over herself and closed her eyes.

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Mina sat there, staring at his lips move. She was listening but to her, it felt as if the words went in one ear and out the other. She was listening but she wasn’t understanding. 

She was listening but really, she wasn’t. 

Minhyuk blinked after he noticed her blank stare and silence. 

“Are you alright? Should I take you home? You must be tired.” 

She moved her gaze from where she was blankly staring to look at him in the eyes. 

“I’m fine. Sorry, what were you saying?” 

He chuckled, giving his head a small shake. “Don’t worry about it. It wasn’t important, anyway.” 

“I’m sorry, I just have a lot on my plate right now. I’m even more sorry because you rarely have any free time but here I am, spacing out in my own world,” she apologized. 

“Really, it’s fine. Thanks for being my afterhours buddy.” 

She laughed. “You’re more than welcome.” Her eyes followed his hands as he picked up his chopsticks and reached for more food from the boiling pot. He nodded towards her empty cup. 

“Do you need another bottle?” 

“Will you be okay taking care of a drunken me?” 

“I can try.” 

When the woman came back with another bottle of alcohol, he poured another shot for her and she swallowed it down right away. His eyes rounded and he stared at her, studying her face. 

“Has work been tough?” 

She rotated the small glass cup between her fingers, letting her long nails scratch against the transparent material. 

“Life’s just been tough. I don’t know what I’m supposed to do.” 

He sat there, listening to her ramble on about something that he couldn’t figure out. She was giving him details but there was no context to her worries and problems, so he didn’t quite know what advice to give her. Moreover, he didn’t know what to say.

“If you had a decision to make,” she started, “Would you follow the heart or the head?” 

He frowned, thinking about her question. 

“I’d follow the head. More often than not, I’ve followed the heart and it’s screwed me over. But at the same time, I always end up regretting not following what my heart says. It depends on what’s at stake, I guess.” 

“What if it’s something you know you shouldn’t do? What if it’s something that’s just going to make you think about this more?” 

“It may be something you know you shouldn’t do but if you don’t, won’t you just continue to let it eat away at you?” 

“I’m scared, Minhyuk.” 

“Of what?”

“Of myself. Of a lot of things. I’m scared of what this person will say. I’m scared of how I’m going to respond. I’m scared of a lot of things. I’m scared of rejection. I’m scared of letting myself out there again.” 

When he heard her voice waver, he reached over and took her cup from her. 

“I think you’ve drank enough for now.”

“Do you work tomorrow?” she mumbled, her voice softened because she was speaking with her head facing the ground.

“No, I don’t. It’s a holiday weekend, remember? Even tourist attractions like the zoo are closed.” 

“Do you have plans tomorrow?” 

“Not that I know of.” 

“Want to keep me company? I don’t want to stare at the four walls of my apartment alone right now.” 

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The smell of the stove was what woke her up the next morning. She pushed herself up, looking around the unfamiliar room. She squinted her eyes, blindly reaching for her glasses that was luckily by the desk beside the bed. 

She tilted her head when she saw a glass of water and she reached for it, feeling her dry throat cry out. She turned, her eyes wandering over the room and rounded, finally remembering where she was. She pushed the blanket off her body and set her feet onto the ground. She felt the cold ground through her socks and she let out an involuntary shiver. 

She came out of the room and followed the sounds to the kitchen where she saw Minhyuk standing in front of the stove. He must have heard her come out because he turned around. 

“Is your hangover alright?” 

She nodded, taking another sip of the water she had in her hands. 

“I’m making you some soup but I really haven’t cooked in years so I’m sorry if it isn’t up to par.” 

She pulled out one of the chairs and took a seat at the kitchen table. She leaned her chin onto her palm, staring at his back figure. 

“I’m just thankful you’re even making me something. Thanks for dealing with my drunk . Did I do anything too crazy?” 

“I mean, you did bust out into some spontaneous dancing when I tried to bring you to the parking lot. I’m sure if anybody walked by, it’d look like I was trying to force you into my car like I was kidnapping you.” 

She winced, faintly remembering the memory. “Sorry.”

“You also become really pouty when you’ve drunk. Has anyone ever told you that?” 

“Yeah. I’ve heard that a lot.” 

He laughed, bringing the pot off the stove and onto the mat he placed on the table earlier. 

“It’s cute. Don’t worry.”

She ate her soup in silence as he occupied himself with his laptop, most likely reading up on news or replying to emails. 

“Are you feeling better?” 

She looked up, raising an eyebrow. “Like, my hangover?” 

“No, I meant from whatever it was that made you drink so much.” 

“Ah.” 

She looked down at her soup and shrugged, swirling the liquid around with the metal spoon. “I’m not sure. I think it’ll take a while but I’m starting to think I just need to learn to let this go. It’s consuming my life much more than I should be giving it power.” 

He nodded in understanding. “Then, good luck. It’ll be hard but I’m sure you can pull through.” 

“Thanks for listening to me ramble, by the way. I remember bits of the conversation and I talked a lot about stuff that you probably didn’t even understand.” 

“I mean, it’s always good to let some stuff out. Although I do admit, I’ve never seen that side of you.” 

“Yeah, it’s not something I do often. Getting drunk and spilling my heart out, I mean.”

“It’s not a bad side of you. It was nice to see a truthful side and such a genuine one.”

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“Do you want me to come with you?” 

“No, I think I’ll be fine. I can just walk over to you afterwards. 

“I’m just down the street, I think. When will you be done?” 

“I don’t think it will take long.” 

“Where are you going to be? The cafe downtown?” 

“Yeah. Second floor above the used bookstore.”

“Alright. I’ll have my phone with me so if anything happens, let me know.”

“Thanks.”

Mina slid her phone onto the table, picking up the coffee that she had ordered when she arrived. She took a sip, letting the hot temperature of the drink sting her tongue. 

She kept herself busy by staring at the cars driving down the street below her until she noticed someone slip into seat parallel to her. 

She turned and looked up. 

“Sorry, work ran late,” he said. 

“Here,” was all she said when she took the duffel bag that was beside her in the booth and handed it to him across the table. She watched as his eyebrows furrowed and he ped it, peering inside to see its contents. His eyes widened and he looked at her. 

“You kept all this?” 

“I wasn’t impulsive enough to throw it out. I just didn’t have the chance to give it all back to you.” 

He said nothing when he closed the bag after seeing some of his old clothes, pictures, and other gifts they had accumulated over the years. 

She waited for him to speak first, letting her eyes linger on the lid of the coffee cup. 

“I’m sorry.” 

She began peeling at the sleeve. 

“It was ty of me to disappear out of nowhere, I know. I shouldn’t have done it without an explanation but hear me out-” 

“You don’t have to explain anything to me, Wonho. I didn’t come to hear your explanation. I just wanted to come and meet with you to close off this chapter of my life. I don’t want myself to be haunted by you anymore.” 

“What?” 

“Do you know how many nights I spend awake thinking about the past? It’s stupid, I know, but I can’t get my mind off it otherwise. Do you know how many times I’ve broken down because my brain can’t formulate a proper conclusion as to why this happened?” 

“Mina-” 

“Yet, after all this time, I’ve finally realized there’s really no point in doing all this to myself. I’m tearing myself apart trying to piece together a broken puzzle that I should’ve stored away years ago. I’m spending time thinking about someone that doesn’t do the same.” 

“Mina, I do think about you.” 

She clucked her tongue, finally looking up to stare at him in the eyes. 

“I hate myself even more when my feelings stir at everything you have to say. It’s pitiful and I hate it. Frankly, I don’t care what your opinion is. It may be selfish of me now but I don’t want to hear what you have to say. I mean, I guess this would be even in terms of the both of us being selfish, don’t you think?” 

She removed her hand from the cup and clenched her fist, feeling the sharpness of her nails dig into her palm. 

“I won’t be doing any jobs for Hyunwoo anymore. I don’t want to have any excuse of seeing you again. I’ve said that I’m going to get over this which means I want to completely avoid seeing you in my life. I think it’s the best for the both of us this way.”

When he said nothing, she grabbed her phone off the table and placed it back into her bag. She grabbed for her coffee and stood up. 

“Please, Wonho, for the sake of my sanity, let’s just pretend we never even knew each other. I’m going to bury this part of my past starting today. Starting with you. Starting with any memories of us together.” 

She saw his eyes dart between her eyes and she turned away, feeling the choked sob rise from . 

“I’m tired. Tired of thinking about you.” 

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