The gentle music of the band could be heard, serenading the listeners along with the distant sound of people talking and laughing around. Mark pushed all of it in the background and focused on gulping down his whiskey but even the warmth of the alcohol failed to chase away his internal chill. Out of frustration he just slapped the glass on the bar harshly, startling the people near him in the process, but he couldn’t bring himself care. The air of melancholy surrounded him and there was this dangerous urge to disappear and dissolve into nothing.

‘Are you going to tell me what happened?’

Mark ignored the question and kept his gaze trained on his now empty glass.

‘Mark’

No response

‘Mark, you’re scaring me’

Silence

‘Mark please, talk to me. Let me help’

At that, Mark’s head snapped up as he felt a rush of anger spiraling through him because of how the words strongly resonated with Jinyoung’s, and as a result he fixed his piercing gaze on Jackson’s worried face.

‘I don’t need your or anyone’s help.’ Mark spat out. He knew unleashing his anger on Jackson wasn’t fair since he wasn’t the one who shunned him. Not yet at least. But the memory of his confrontation with Jinyoung was too fresh in his mind to let him act rationally. ‘Leave me alone’ He added a bit more quietly, going back to staring at the empty glass. It’s better to be alone. Everyone leaves eventually when things get too inconvenient for them.

He heard Jackson sigh loudly but he didn’t make any move to leave. Mark wasn’t surprised; Jackson could be very stubborn. The way he had dragged Mark to this bar to talk when he saw him aimlessly wandering in the streets with a vacant look on his face, showed his determination to get at least some answers.

‘Had a fight with Jinyoung?’ Jackson saw how Mark stiffened at his question, in contrast to his unresponsive state earlier, and it confirmed his suspicions. He let the silence stretch on, patiently waiting for Mark to say something. Anything.

‘No. Not sure you can call that a fight’ Mark’s voice was cold and monotonous and it scared Jackson that something serious must have happened. ‘You can call it a discovery which showed us that we stand at two different ends. It was very enlightening to be honest’ He answered with a fake smile, making Jackson more and more worried about what went down between the two. Mark never acted like this.

‘Mark what happened?’ Jackson’s serious and concerned voice made Mark look up at him and he considered telling him the truth. What’s the point in hiding now anyway? They will know soon. He didn’t want to lose Jackson but what’s the point on dwelling over something he had no control over.

Taking a shaky breath, he answered him with a surprisingly steady voice.

‘I came out to Jinyoung’

He kept his eyes on the glass, preparing himself for another rejection. Another outraged reaction. Maybe confessing he was gay in a public place wasn’t a smart move, but then he heard Jackson utter a soft ‘Oh’

Mark held his breath in anticipation.

‘And I’m guessing it didn’t go too well?’ Jackson’s voice was gentle and even in this state Mark couldn’t miss how empathetic he sounded. He looked at Jackson and saw a sad tight lipped smile on his face. There was no pity, or disgust, he was behaving surprisingly nonchalant.

‘I don’t know, you tell me’ Mark mumbled, his hand mindlessly tracing the rim of the glass. ‘You don’t seem surprised, I kinda just came out to you right now’

Jackson lightly chuckled ‘That’s because I’m not. I kind of had an inkling, I’m more observant than you think’

Mark raised his eyebrows ‘What do mean observant? Was I going around throwing hints that I was gay’ he asked defensively, even though words could not describe how relieved and happy he was with Jackson’s reaction.

‘Kind of yes’ Jackson replied still smiling but then his eyes turned solemn and he cautiously continued ‘I saw how you looked at him and how you still do’.

Mark froze.

Jackson didn’t specify any name but there wasn’t a need. The aching pain in his chest was back as he stared at Jackson wide-eyed.

‘Hey it’s alright’ Jackson reassured when he saw the panicked look on Mark’s face. ‘I mean it he reacted the way he did but there is nothing wrong with the way you feel man’

Mark’s expression softened and a single drop of tear rolled down his face. He wasn’t sure if he was crying because of the pain of what happened with Jinyoung, or because he was rejoicing over Jackson’s support, but all he did know was that he wanted to hear those words really badly. For someone to let him know that he doesn’t have to be ashamed of what he was feeling, regardless of whether or not his feelings were returned. That he wasn’t a freak. That his feelings weren’t unnatural.

Despite of feeling a whirlwind of emotions, he opted for nodding slowly and mumbled a small ‘Thank you’. Jackson seemed to understand all the unsaid words of gratitude and smiled in return.

‘Give him some time, maybe he’ll come around. He just needs some time to process-’ Jackson trailed off when Mark started shaking his head with a bitter smile.

‘I’m not going to hope for anything anymore Jackson, at least not from him. Unrealistic expectations always leads to disappointment, I admit I can be quite naïve but I’m not going to make the same mistake this time’

Mark’s resigned voice alarmed Jackson and he realized that Jinyoung’s rejection must have taken huge a toll on him. He wanted to know exactly how Jinyoung reacted but he knew asking that meant hurting Mark more.

‘Are you really calling Jinyoung’s love for you an unrealistic expectation? Whatever happened, happened, but he loves you’

Mark snorted and Jackson pursed his lips in response.

‘Sure he did, you know back when I was ‘normal’ or when he thought I was ‘normal. Now to be worthy of his love I need to fix my broken self-first’ Mark replied sarcastically

‘His words, not mine’ Mark added when he saw Jackson was about to argue. Jackson’s eyes widened as he registered this new