“Daehwi, don’t forget your toothbrush.”

“Yes, hyung.”

“And your towel.”

“Yes, hyung.”

“Did Woojin already pack his toothbrush yet?”

Woojin poked his head out of the bathroom, brushing his teeth. “Doing that as we speak.”

Donghyun nodded. “Okay, let’s see what else...”

“Hyung,” Daehwi laughed. “Don’t worry. We’re packing up everything we need.”

It was nearly past 7 o'clock at night. The maknae was sitting on the floor of their dorm, stuffing his belongings into a suitcase.  Donghyun sat next to him, folding both Daehwi and Woojin’s clothes (“There’s a way to fold them so that you can fit in as much as possible,” he had remarked). Another large suitcase lay open in front of them.

“Oh, Daehwi,” Donghyun said with a sad smile. “You’re so mature sometimes, you know that?”

Daehwi puffed out his cheeks.

There was a knock on the door and Youngmin entered the room. He held a white plastic bag in his hand.

“Kids,” the eldest said. “I bought you something.”

Woojin plopped down next to his nearly full suitcase, wrestling a small pillow into it. He looked up. “What is it, hyung?”

Youngmin grinned and crouched down in front of the two youngest, who stared at him with curious eyes. He flipped the plastic bag and let the contents fall into his hand.

It was two cans of insect spray. Daehwi and Woojin groaned in unison.

“I won’t be able to kill bugs for you anymore,” Youngmin said, his voice surprisingly quiet.

Daehwi made a pouty face. Woojin looked exhausted already.

“Daniel dislikes bugs,” Youngmin continued calmly. “And I saw Jaehwan literally running into a wall when a cockroach got near him. What if the other members react the same way?” He pulled on a smile. “Don’t you guys think it’ll be nice if you could take care of the bugs yourselves?”

Seconds passed. Donghyun watched as Daehwi and Woojin slowly nodded, though still slightly sulking. The two youngest took the cans in their hands and placed them carefully into their respective suitcases.

Pride welled up in Donghyun’s chest. They’re growing up.

Youngmin must have felt the same. He chuckled fondly, ruffling Daehwi and Woojin’s hair. “There we go.”

Donghyun smiled, taking in the sight. When would be the next time they could all be together like this? Suddenly, eighteen months felt like such a long time...

He shook his head. Don’t think about that now. He clasped his hands together loudly, and the others turned in his direction. “All right! We have two more hours before the company car arrives. Let’s get everything packed before then.”

With a playful roll of his eyes, Daehwi said, “Yes, mom.” 

Youngmin thought he would be ready. He really did. He had braced himself for the goodbyes, but when the time came, his heart grew heavier.

At first he was feeling okay. But as he watched Daehwi and Woojin’s belongings disappear from their usual places in the dorm, he started to realize that this was really happening and he was not feeling okay.

Two hours later, Daehwi and Woojin were standing in front of the door, holding tightly onto the handles of their suitcases.

Youngmin tried not to notice the slight tremble in Daehwi’s hands, or the fact that Woojin’s bottom lip was quivering. The two kids were trying to look brave. Donghyun was at his side, saying nothing as they faced the two youngest members.

They stood in silence for a couple seconds, as if prolonging the farewell.

Youngmin was the first to speak.

“I’m so happy for you guys,” he said, smiling sincerely though his chest hurt. “Work hard. And remember to have fun.”

Daehwi and Woojin nodded.

“Make sure you eat well,” Donghyun said, his tone warm. “Take good care of yourselves. Please try to get enough sleep. Your health is what’s most important. And look after each other.”

Again, the two boys nodded. It looked like they were about to cry at any second.

Youngmin wondered if words of “I’ll miss you” would set them off in tears. He wanted to say it, but he wasn’t sure if he could let them go if they really started to cry. He would probably cling onto them and forbid them to leave.

So instead he said what was also on his mind. “You know...” He laughed a little, wondering what the heck he was saying. “I feel like a father whose kids are leaving for college.”

And then Daehwi burst into tears. The boy dropped his suitcase and ran forwards, tackling Youngmin in a tight hug.

Youngmin, eyes wide with surprise, took a step back to regain his balance. Daehwi's full weight was on him, small arms around his body.

This was not supposed to happen, Youngmin thought in his panicked mind. Oh my gosh, what have I done.

Before he could open his mouth to say anything, Woojin was there, face buried in Youngmin’s left shoulder, suitcase also forgotten.

“I’m going to miss you so much, hyung,” Daehwi said between sniffles. “I was so nervous when I first joined the agency, but you and Donghyun-hyung took care of me so well. I’ll miss you both so much.”

Woojin was silent, but Youngmin could feel the boy’s shuddered breaths against his shoulder.

, the eldest thought. I’ll really end up crying at this rate.

His left hand patted Daehwi’s back, right hand on Woojin’s. Youngmin quickly connected eyes with Donghyun, trying to send an S.O.S.

But Donghyun himself was in trouble, his eyes wet with tears. Daehwi was holding out a hand to him. Woojin, shoulders still shaking, lifted his head to look at the second eldest.

“Hyung,” Daehwi said through a stifled sob. “Donghyun-hyung...”

And Donghyun strode forward, wrapping his arms around all of them at once.

Youngmin suddenly remembered Daehwi when he first joined them, eyes wide with hope and curiosity but tinted with anxiousness. He also remembered Woojin when he was still a small kid, back at their dance academy. Woojin was still in elementary school at that time, height barely reaching Youngmin’s chest.

He’d taken care of them for so long that they became a part of his life.  He was used to their constant sudden skinship moments, their loud voices when they asked him to fix the TV for the hundredth time, their whining when Donghyun would wake them up with kisses in the morning. All those moments and even more. He’d miss them all dearly.

So Youngmin hugged all three of them with all of his might. When was the next time he would he be able to do this?

Only a couple days have passed since Daehwi and Woojin left the dorm. But Youngmin already felt the emptiness.

He would also catch Donghyun doing his usual habits, such as cooking dinner for four people, or running to look for the two young boys whenever he discovered an insect crawling somewhere (he would always run to the farthest room with them).

Whenever Donghyun realized what he was doing, he would shake his head as if snapping out of a trance.

What are Daehwi and Woojin doing right now? Youngmin thought, followed by an endless list of questions.

It would take some time.

Youngmin was lying down on his bed, looking blankly at the ceiling, eyes glazed.

Donghyun entered the room, staring at him for a bit before proceeding to climb into the bed. Lying next to each other, he wrapped an arm around Youngmin’s shoulders.

Everything was so quiet.

“I miss them too,” Donghyun said, voice gentle.

Without a word, Youngmin nodded. He rolled to his side, pulling Donghyun closer.

Two weeks later, Daehwi and Woojin somehow got ahold of a tablet.

Because Donghyun suddenly received a video call from an unknown number. After careful consideration, he decided to answer it. So now here he was, holding his phone with Youngmin beside him, Daehwi and Woojin smiling on the screen.

“Donghyun-hyung! Youngmin-hyung!”

The two boys’ voices overlapped as they shouted their greetings.

Youngmin happily waved back.

Donghyun was shaking his head, the biggest grin on his face. “Hi, kids,” he said, breathless with surprise. “Where are you right now?”

“We’re in Jisung-hyung’s room at the dorm,” Woojin answered. “It’s noisy outside, so we had to borrow the emptiest room.”

“That’s nice of him,” Donghyun said. He observed the surroundings on the screen. Daehwi and Woojin appeared to be lying on their stomachs in one of the beds.

“You’re in the practice room, aren’t you, hyung?” Daehwi asked.

“Yup. For the unit project. Daehwi, Woojin... The song you guys made is amazing. You know that, right?”

Daehwi and Woojin beamed with pride.

Youngmin wanted so badly to pinch those flushed cheeks on both of their faces. “Thanks, boys. Really.”

Just then there was a crashing sound on Daehwi and Woojin’s end, followed by a high-pitched laughter and someone screaming, “Not again!”

Youngmin blinked. “What was that? Sounds like it came from outside the room.”

“Just the usual,” Daehwi said, unfazed. “Hyung, hyung, guess what I did today!”

Donghyun and Youngmin asked at the same time, “What?”

“I got rid of a cockroach! All by myself!”

Youngmin shook his head in disbelief, smiling so widely his mouth hurt. “Did you, now?”

“Yup!”

“That’s amazing, Daehwi. I’m proud of you.”

Then Woojin pushed his way into the middle of the screen. “Me too, hyung! Me too! I got rid of a big bug that was hanging near Seongwoo-hyung’s bed!”

Donghyun clapped his hands, laughing. “Great job, Woojin! Even I can’t do that.”

Woojin looked like the happiest kid on earth.

“We miss you both,” Daehwi suddenly said, resting his head on Woojin's shoulder.

“We miss you too, kids,” Donghyun replied. “Every single day.”

Youngmin nodded.

“But look on the bright side, hyung,” Daehwi said. And then he leaned in closer to the camera, his whole face filling the entire screen. He said the next words in a whisper, addressing both Donghyun and Youngmin, “Now you two can be all lovey-dovey without us disturbing.”

“Wh-what?” Donghyun spluttered. Daehwi leaned back with a smirk, revealing a Park Woojin making exaggerated kissy faces.

Youngmin laughed. He threw an arm around Donghyun’s shoulders. “You mean like this?”

And Daehwi let out a loud shriek as Youngmin planted a kiss on Donghyun’s cheek. Woojin’s nose scrunched up as if in disgust.

“Gross gross gross!” Daehwi screamed while Woojin made retching noises.

Donghyun was blushing all the way to his ears, Youngmin nudging in closer to him.

Daehwi yelled, “Okay we’re going now, bye bye!”

Youngmin pulled away and immediately faced the screen. “No, wait, don’t hang up!”

“What!” the maknae continued yelling.

“Call us again, okay?” Youngmin said. “Can you?”

“Yes we can, hyung,” Woojin answered, no longer pretending to barf. “We plan to hold tightly onto this tablet so we can talk to you more.”

“Are you even allowed to make calls like this?” the eldest asked.

“Hehehe,” Woojin replied simply.

Donghyun, after recovering, jumped into the conversation. “Could you call us at least twice a week?” He knew how busy the boys were and how much rest they needed, but he wanted to see their faces—even if for a few minutes.

Woojin grinned widely, adorable snaggletooth showing. “Of course. Maybe even more than twice a week. Right, Daehwi?”

Daehwi nodded furiously.

Donghyun smiled. “Great. This is great.”

Suddenly, Daehwi and Woojin turned to look at a certain direction off-screen, silent for a bit before nodding. They then turned back to the camera.

“Jisung-hyung says that it’s time for dinner,” Daehwi explained. He pouted his lips.

“Ah, I see.” Donghyun gave a small nod, trying not to let the disappointment show too much on his face. He wanted to talk with them more and more. “It was so nice to see you two. Eat a lot, okay?”

The two youngest nodded.

Youngmin held out his arms as if to hug the camera. Daehwi and Woojin did the same, followed by Donghyun.

After their weird virtual hug, Woojin waved. “Goodnight, goodnight.”

“Goodnight, Woojin,” Youngmin said, waving back. “Goodnight, Daehwi.”

Donghyun smiled warmly. "Goodnight, boys."

Daehwi blew kisses as the connection was cut.

Even when the screen turned to black, their hearts— all four of them— felt a whole lot lighter.

Author's note: 

bnm family is love bnm family is life

comments would be super lovely :")  (let's scream and cry about dongpaca and bnm boys together because i'm so weak for them)