Natural High

He doesn't want to do it; it feels so unnecessary and, besides, he is just a screenwriter, not a model. But Seungri has asked him and Seunghoon can't say no.

Not because he is his boss and his job and career depend on him, not because he owns Seunghoon's life, but because they are doing it for a charity project and Seunghoon has to agree, it's for a good deed, after all. He only wanted to give part of his too high royalties, after the success of his last project, but Seungri wants to show off how good his coworkers are, and that's why he is being forced to do it, a “Rising For The Youth” Photoshoot charity book.

He has met Seungri during college. He has spotted him one day and, since there, he has become his best friend. He was studying Business Management while Seunghoon was into Audiovisuals Production, and Seungri has managed to convince him to work with him “I'll create my own TV station and I want to air your shows because I trust in your talent. I'll hire you first thing” and that was all they needed; after it they became close, working on projects for school together even when their majors were different. They had put together their efforts and, not long after graduation, Seungri obtained a small office filled with great ideas that he had sold to others. Now Natural High is one of the best entertainment companies, a growing name in the industry, with regular TV contents and also Digital, they work with Naver too and Seunghoon's shows are getting very popular; “Boyfriends Material”, a sitcom about young couples talking about the problems that have to face, has become a great hit and his variety show that combine traveling with local gastronomy and amazing experience has also hit the charts very hard; he is a talented and witty screenwriter who loves his job and his boss. And that is why he has said yes to Seungri, to his fundraiser project, because it's good to help and it's good that Seungri loves to help others.

He is actually nervous, why to lie? He has never done that and just thinking about it makes him shiver in uneasiness, even if Seungri has assured him about it, that posing would be easy, that he should fear nothing, he can only think about cold lights sinking onto his skin, a lot of professionals ready to put makeup on him to any showering spot or flaw, a snob photographer who believes he is almighty and everybody below him just an annoying presence disturbing his artistic masterpiece, loud and crowded room filled with a stiff and reckless tension that he is not going to enjoy at all.

But what he finds is quite different of his thought has imbued him with. The light is soft and natural, coming from one of the big windows with views of the busy city below; there are only two people hanging there and the general atmosphere is relaxing and pleasant. And Seunghoon breathes again, released. He peeks around, noting how the room is just as empty as his days, just cream walls and a professional camera waiting for him to step in.

“Are you Lee Seunghoon?” a nice, soft voice asks him, and Seunghoon blinks in confusion because there are pretty eyes staring at him and a melting smile that is meant only for him to see. “Please, come in, we will start shortly” and this sound is so inviting, that Seunghoon finds himself swimming onto it, warm and sweet, drawing him to that person like gravity, like the moon to its earth, a force he doesn't want to resist, why should he when it's pleasant and captivating, sounding like a mermaid singing?. It's not just a voice that is adorable, but a face with perfect features, a fit body made to sin, Seunghoon discovers soon enough. Is he someone who will model with him? He wonders, and the perspective feels just right, just the way Seunghoon likes it to be. “Oh no, no, I'm not a model, Seunghoon-ssi! I'm only the photographer, Kim Jinwoo”, and he can feel his ears going red in shame for his uncontrolled mouth that voices his deep and dirty thought, while he bows to this gorgeous man that is giggling at his lame stamen, as it been called as a model deserved his melodic laugh. Seunghoon is startled, not only because Kim Jinwoo is gorgeous and winsome and he is busy contemplating him covertly, but he is also waiting for some kind instructions about the photo shoot, but the photographer just sits behind the camera and starts taking pictures of him; here and there and while talking with the staff, and while doing nothing special. Jinwoo shoot at him every five seconds, following silently him around, changing some flashlight and some of his camera's lend and he is such a professional at work, Seunghoon is amused by it, by how he kneels and how he tiptoes to catch the perfect angle of his not so perfect face.

“You look great! I think this natural concept fits you the best!” he exclaims after a while, moving to check his assignment on the laptop, scrolling the different shots of him that he has taken. “Come here and see it by yourself!” and Seunghoon rushes towards him, feeling an urgent need to become closer to that pretty man that works hard and well.

He has to agree with him; not only he looks astonishing good, but it feels very warm and cute and normal, just like Seungri wanted it to be. It's an impressive job, Seunghoon thinks, and he had to do nothing after all; Jinwoo did it all by himself.

“Can I have one, please?” he asks, because, seriously, these pictures are lovely. And that seems to be the best compliment he could offer to him since he smiles bright and his eyes look at him wide and surprised. Jinwoo urges himself to comply with his demand and, when he comes back, he hands him a bunch of his artwork.

“It will look better once edited, but I'm so happy that you liked it...” he stumblers, glancing at him with fireflies in his brown orbs. “I'll send you a copy when I finish it if you want” he promises and Seunghoon is already looking forward to it, to see him again.

Seungri knows, of course, he does, as if he could see the future, just one stare at what he is carefully holding and he takes the hint, even when Seunghoon isn't yet aware of his own feelings, as always Seungri does. He knows him well, he reads him and smirks, deliberately.

“Jinwoo did a pretty job again” he comments while peeking at the pictures of Seunghoon, smiling proudly. “You really look like a model. Maybe I should send you to him, so you can work together again” he jokes and he laughs at it too, wanting for nothing else but for it to become true. “He is very good, should I hire him?” he asks at himself but smirks at how Seunghoon seems to be embarrassed and delighted at the perspective of seeing him again.

He is kind of expecting it since Seungri has promised to employ him as their cameraman or photographer assistant or some sort of it, he doesn't know, but neither he comes. Instead he has to deal with a bunch of interns that mess with his scrips more than actually help and are loud and annoying, but it's the ritual here in Natural High; every year they hold a practice stage for college student to learn how real world is, how they put a few ideas into work, creating a brand new and exciting product that will be seen by all the nation, hopefully. It's good, it's something Seunghoon didn't have the change to experiment, but it is also more time in the office, planning and mending all the apprentices' mistakes and less time for him to dream about pretty doe eyes.

It's late and he is finally going home. The elevator's doors open with a beep and he loses all his words. Jinwoo smiles at him and Seunghoon can't remember seeing something more beautiful. He bows at him, still smiling cutely, greeting him as if they weren't the same age, as if they weren't friends. A part of Seunghoon knows that they aren't, yet, but the other part wants to shut it up and start talking to him, even when he feels nervous and startled, because in close up Kim Jinwoo is even more handsome, because that close he can smell his smooth hair, like autumn's leaves cracking under his feet, sweet and melancholic.

“Seunghoon-ssi, here” and he puts an album on his hands.

“It's just Seunghoon for you” he corrects him, not wanting him to call him like that again if there is a chance for him to meet again. “I think we are the same age, after all, so you can drop the formalities” he adds, hurriedly.

“Oh, ok!” and his lips curbs up, a landscape he wants to immortalize into a picture, put it everywhere. “As I told you” and shows him one of his photos. Seunghoon is amazed at this masterpiece, is he really that handsome? He can't believe it, not in a million years. “I didn't have to do much with you, working with them was very easy and pleasant!” he explains, pointing at another picture of him. “You are very attractive, the camera just loved you,” he says, giggling, and Seunghoon's heart skips a few beats, because, god, he is so much; handsome and nice and he is weak for him, for his soft smiles and gentle stares that says more than words. “You are more handsome than any other men alive” he wants to reply, but he thinks that this would be too much and way too cheesy for him to take it well. And they aren't that close yet to turn it into a joke, so he keeps quiet and lets the flow goes on.

It's just when Seunghoon feels confident enough to start a real conversation with him when Seungri peeps around the corner, spots them and joins them with a smile.

“You are here already! Wonderful!” he greets Jinwoo, who seems ashamed for this loud, unexpected reception. “And you have met Lee Seunghoon, our best screenwriter in here. Great, great” and he puts his arm around Jinwoo's shoulder, in a very patronizing way that creeps out Seunghoon, killing his mood and his positive vibes. He knows Seungri well, and he knows he is inoffensive, most of the time, but Jinwoo is so pretty and so Seungri's type, and he is already praising him, taking him under his wing and back into his office, leaving Seunghoon miserable and alone.

His imagination goes wild while waiting for Jinwoo to come out, waiting to see him again, heavy chest and shaking hands and a book that he is holding like a treasure like it meant something more to him than what it just is. But he doesn't come and it's getting late and Seunghoon thinks that waiting too much would look suspicious, even for a nice person as Jinwoo, so he takes his car and drive back home, thinking about the album that he has taken with him and in how beautiful his smile was and how Seungri has put his arms around, dragging him out, closing the door before them and other things he doesn't want to say but that hurt just the same.

He sits and opens the album and, in between the pages, he finds a card with a name and a number all cramped, nearly unreadable, but a punch in his chest tells him the meaning of it, the name that is hidden under shaking lines, but the courage to do it doesn't come and he doesn't call him, not today, not in a week, not until he sees him again. And the little paper hangs on the fridge on his kitchen forgotten.

It happens earlier than expected, two days after it, and Jinwoo is already waiting for him in front of his office, smiling happily, holding coffee in both his hands.

“I hope you like Americano,” he says, passing the cup to him, hot and bitter, and he has never felt more awake than now, with Jinwoo's eyes following his movements.

“Thank you Jinwoo! What brings you here?” he asks because silence isn't polite and he is curious about it, too.

“Oh! I got hired! Seungri-ssi told me that I'll work with you from now on, as your photographer designer”. And that is just so much better than a casual visit, Seunghoon can't stop grinning.

He shows him around, introducing him to some people he better knows, but basically, keeping him at his side, telling him about this and that and gossiping about Seungri's love affairs. It's funny and Jinwoo laughs with him and his voice is soft and caring and his heart bounces in a happiness he doesn't understand.

The next weeks are a blur of glee. Seunghoon has always loved and enjoyed his job, but now he seems to live for it, every morning coming earlier just to beat Jinwoo, buying his favorite apple juice and biscuits, preparing lunch for two. Working with Jinwoo is delightful, he is a hard worker and a perfectionist, staying until late just to finish what he is doing, even if he still have lots of days ahead. And Seunghoon uses that to stay with him too. And weeks turn into months and their work is done so well that Seungri might reward them after all; the new show has been applauded and sold to SBS and the next one has been demanded by MBC and they are working on a drama now that keeps a few other TV channels interested and, if everything works out fine, they'll be filming by the end of the year, which means that Seunghoon will be able to witness Jinwoo's talents in action, since he will be in total charge of filming and photography. And Seungri calls them as a pack now; because wherever that is Jinwoo, Seunghoon is there too; because it's not only work but they spend all their time together, breathing at the same pace, more friends than just friends, but not yet anything beyond that, but there is something hanging, Seungri has noticed and he cheers for it to happens.

It's September and Seunghoon is going insane thinking about Jinwoo's present. There won't be any party, Jinwoo doesn't like it; he is not the type who enjoys socializing, he is quiet most of the time, not with him, though. Whenever they are together Jinwoo's laugh fills his ears, and Seunghoon still thinks that it's the most beautiful sound ever and Seunghoon jokes and he dismisses him and messes with him and his weird side and antics and the way he is clingy with him only. And he loves him, how can he not? He has fallen for him every day since the first time he has met him. Because he is nice and caring and incredibly kind and gentle, and also cheats at video-games and is a picky eater that always pouts when he doesn't cook what he wants. But he loves him anyway, even when he splashes his hands when he laughs in amusement, it hurts, but it's also enchanting, endearing. Because it's Jinwoo, everything about him is entrancing. Even the way he snores when he allows himself with a nap on the couch in their cramped office, it's kind of cute and Seunghoon can live without sleeping now if he can see Jinwoo resting, curled over his own body, hands covering his face, his skin gleaming under the pale light that bath him, coming from the fluttering screen.

He knows he likes him, of course, he does. It seems like everyone but Jinwoo knows it, but that's nothing new; Jinwoo is oblivious and absentminded for lots of things not related to work and, since he is very touchy and caring, it gives confusing signals and Seunghoon doesn't want to lose him due to his feelings. He would rather die to hurt him or scare him away. He is happy enough been his friend, he lies to himself, but the lie sinks into his mind and he smiles, believing that it's ok; that his heart pounds for him is fine with it as well, that it means nothing, nothing more than pain at night when nobody can see him crying, longing for Jinwoo to come and rescue him.

It's Jinwoo's birthday and Seunghoon hasn't his present yet, because he couldn't think of anything. But he brings a cake when the place is clean and nobody else but them is here and Jinwoo blows the candles and Seunghoon wish for nothing but his happiness, for all his dreams to come true.

“Where is my surprise?” he asks, childish, excited like a kid, clapping at the mere thought of having a present.

“I'm so sorry, hyung! I couldn't find anything appropriate” he sighs in defeat, feeling down and disappointing, but Jinwoo just laughs, dismissing his worries with his alluring eyes that are fixed on him, like moths drawn to a fire.

“You already did enough during all this time, becoming my friend, and always hanging out with me” he smiles and the night gleams, shining brighter than before. “I really appreciate you, Seunghoon-ah” he keeps going and Seunghoon starts fearing where it all is going; he is going to break his heart.

“You don't have to thank me for being your friend! It's my pleasure” he rushes to stop him, to stop the pain that is settling in his chest, like pouring ashes that will ignite into a bonfire.

“Actually, there is something you can do for me,” he says, and his eyes beam with golden and coffee and something that he can't understand but that wasn't there before, that is showing now for the first time and is numbing him from inside.

“Anything for you” he jokes “unless money, I'm not leaning you any won” and this is a serious stamen.

“I know Seunghoon-ah! You are the most stingy friend ever!” he points out, punching him gently. That's not true, he is willing to spend his last won with him if needed, but he doesn't voice it because Jinwoo doesn't have to know how deep in love he is, how trapped he is for him.

“Whatever, what is it?” he wants to know; there are so little things that Jinwoo really wants, more of them are soju, wine, and beer.

“I think I've been working too much in other fields lately and it seems as I can't take pictures anymore, or not as I used to. Will you model for me today?” he asks, and his voice trembles, sorrow and sad and concerned about it, truly.

“Sure, hyung” he agrees to fast, without even thinking. There is nothing to think about; it's Jinwoo and he would do anything for him, no questions needed. Everything to bring his heavenly smile back.

The room is still the same, cozy and warm, the old lights that once turned Seunghoon into art. Jinwoo carries his camera and sets it ready and, once done, he looks at him, expectant, eyes that shine like diamonds in the night sky. He comes near, so near that he is grazing his skin with white fingers that feel so hot on his arms. Fingers than get a hold on him, clinging into it, nails scratching, eyes searching into his soul, navigating to his mind.

Hands that move up and his shirt, letting it falls down, revealing his torso, flat and pale and precious. Jinwoo is touching him and his skin is on fire, like dragons breezing onto him, a burn that never ends, a flame that is consuming him alive. And he wants it, so, so much…

“Is this – Is this alright?” he murmurs, lips among his ears, his voice echoing into it, sweet and seductive, sedating his own thought.

“It is alright” he answers, “it's more than alright, hyung”. And they are kissing now, melting under Jinwoo's touches and intense stares. When they break apart, Jinwoo's eyes are dark and warm and his hands are still holding his waist.

“I want to see you. All of you” he whispers to the night.

Seunghoon's flesh gleams, pale, the moon lightening it, like a painting, and Jinwoo smiles sweetly at him.

“You are so perfect, Seunghoon-ah, so beautiful… I want to capture all, everything” he mutters reverently, watching at him intently, like art, like an angel falling from the sky, and it's so overwhelming but it's also the way Jinwoo looks at him, with love and adoration that makes him shiver.

“But you are better than I, hyung. Let me take a picture of you, too” he says gently, hugging him from behind, kissing his salty neck tenderly, lovingly, while stealing his shirt the same way he has done with him. And the skin beneath it is soft, so soft and hot, his hands lingering over it, sliding down, down until reaching his jeans, and then even lower, taking away any remaining bit of clothes.

His body reveals in front of him, all his curbs and lines, like a map he wants to memorize, a sculpture he wants to break down by kissing it. And he wants it so bad.

The picture comes out a mess, his skin blurring on the light, his eyes unfocused and him next to Jinwoo, holding his hand, giggling at it, kissing his cheek. And when their lips collide again, everything goes white.

"I love you" a mumble breaks the morning, a sun that shines through the curtain, a feeling of been complete, a kiss on his forehead, a hand holding him, caressing his thoughts.

"I love you too, so much. Thanks for being the best present I ever got". He kisses him, his face, his neck, his shoulders, getting low, getting down, doe eyes that look like a sin, an ocean of pleasure that makes him moan, going higher than ever.