i'm freaking out i uploaded this and then like ten seconds later i saw that 'love yourself' poster or whatever and i'm freaking out ok 

also enjoy

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1. find a four leaf cover

”Babe.”

”What?”

”You need to get up.”

”There’s no way in hell.” Taehyung muttered, and rolled over to his left side to face Jungkook. They both smiled and Taehyung scooted closer to bury his face in the younger’s chest.

“Taehyung..,” Jungkook sighed. “You need to go to the hospital. We need to go to the hospital. We need to find out what’s going on with you that makes you faint all of a sudden and what’s all that that’s happened in the past few weeks.”

He felt Taehyung tighten his grip around his waist, his whole body going stiff. “I don’t want to hear it. I don’t want to hear any of that . I’m probably dying anyway.”

Jungkook scoffed. “No you’re not. Maybe you just need some medication for some minor problem. Stop overreacting things.”
 

“It’s still too early.”

Jungkook smiled, pulling Taehyung closer and kissing his now red hair. The older had a habit of dying his hair the strangest colors, once he got orange highlights in his green hair (something that he now regrets; Jungkook told him that it was a terrible idea, but can anyone win an argument with Taehyung?), and the latest color was this really vibrant, fire red. Jungkook thought that it looks pretty hot on him (but maybe it’s just him being head over heels). He himself never dyed his hair; once he went brown, but then decided that he has no time and patience for high maintenance hair. Black was just fine.

Taehyung looked up. For a few moments, they just stared at each other, and then he leaned in and planted a kiss at the younger’s lips. After all those that they’ve been together, he still felt the same butterflies, and the same love for his boyfriend. He often thought about how rare a relationship like theirs is; you don’t find a lot of couples still getting along perfectly even after seven years.

“Okay let’s get going,” Taehyung sighed, defeated.

Jungkook grinned.

“But,” he added, “you’re getting me Starbucks afterwards.”

“Most definitely.”

 

“I hate waiting so ing much.”

“I know you do, sunshine, but we need to get this over with. I’m worried about you.”

“But this place .” Taehyung looked around the small waiting room on the second floor of Severance Hospital, fingers tapping impatiently on his thighs. They’d been waiting for an hour now and the anxiety was setting in. “And I want Starbucks.”

“You can live without your iced Americano for a day,” Jungkook laughed.

Taehyung was about to protest when the door in front of them opened, and they both stood up as a man in a white coat stepped out. At least, Taehyung only tried to, as his legs gave up, and he collapsed back to the chair, Jungkook failing to catch him. He tried getting up again, this time grabbing Jungkook’s waist.

“Mr. Kim Taehyung?” he called out.

“Yes,” he answered.

“I’m Dr. Lee. Please come in.”

 

The doctor’s office was big, and Taehyung was getting more and more stressed sitting in the small sofa quietly. Everything was so white.  At least he had Jungkook next to him.

“So, as I can see, you came in to have some examinations done back in September, as some of your complaints included sore muscles, rapid heartbeat, and occasional fainting, is that right?”

“Yes.”

“I have your results.”

The doctors’s cold but somehow sympathetic voice made them shiver.

“You see, normally I don’t have patients in my office, but in this case, it was inevitable.”

Jungkook slid his hand to Taehyung’s thigh.

“You have namielipha.”

He felt a cold sweat run down his back. He had no idea what that was but it sounded serious.

“I’ll try to explain it as simply as possible. It is a viral infection, and it first attacks the heart, then all of the body’s muscles, which explains your symptoms.”

Dr. Lee got up from his seat, leaned over the table and handed them some papers. There were poorly drawn pictures of the heart, explaining how the infection affects it, how it spreads to the other parts of the body, basically everything there was to know about the disease.

They didn’t understand any of it.

Jungkook was quiet the whole time so when he spoke up Taehyung flinched.

“What can we do to make…it go away?”

The answer was a deep sigh.

“There are only about 50 documented cases of namielipha in Korea. There is little to no research about it.”

“And what does that mean?” Jungkook was getting impatient.

Dr. Lee stood up and started walking over the room, then sat back on the chair behind his desk. “We can’t do much about it. It is incurable.”

Taehyung was on the verge of collapsing. “Tell me honestly, doc. Am I going to die?”

“The fatality rate is about 80%. The body is either strong enough to fight the disease or, if it’s not, the muscles weaken to the point where the body can’t function anymore. There is medication, but it only works 50% of the time, and it only helps the symptoms, not the disease itself. We’re going to have to try.”

Dr. Lee proceeded to explain some other crucial things; Taehyung has to cut stress out of his life as much as he can, take his medication three times a day before meals, and come in to the hospital every two weeks to check up on him. They also learned that there are four possible outcomes; Dr. Lee didn’t sugarcoat things and they were thankful for it. Outcome on and two included Taehyung not surviving. (Jungkook shuddered at this, but kept a straight face. He tried to, at least.)
Jungkook couldn’t decide what was worse: slowly watching Taehyung get worse, and him dying in a hospital (Dr. Lee compared it to cancer; Jungkook didn’t like that comparison.), or a sudden heart attack. The horrible thing about the latter was that it’s unexpected; they could be laughing one minute and Taehyung could be having a cardiac arrest the next. Bit of an exaggeration, but not too far from the truth. Terrifying anyway.
Outcome three, Taehyung survives. (Jungkook liked this significantly better.) He doesn’t recover completely, needs regular hospital care, but is otherwise able to live a normal life.
Outcome four was obviously the best.  Taehyung recovers completely, and they can just forget about it.
Jungkook wants to cry.

After discussing details about Taehyung’s medication, Jungkook just wanted to head home, but then he remembered promising Taehyung to buy him Starbucks, and they both needed something to freshen them up. They got their usual drinks, one iced Americano and one salted caramel mocha, and sat in the park. Despite the chilly October weather, they weren’t cold.

“Taehyung?”

“Hm?”

“We’re going to fight this together.”

They sat without speaking a word afterwards for some five minutes, Taehyung breaking the silence with a scoff.

“There’s nothing to fight, Jungkook.” He ran his fingers through his red hair.

“What?”

“There’s nothing to fight.”

“Yes, I heard you just fine, but what do you mean?”

Taehyung got up and walked to the nearest trash can, throwing out his plastic cup along with some tissues he found in his pocket, then he sat back on the bench next to Jungkook.

“I’m going to die. There is nothing left to fight.”

“What the ?” the words slipped out of the younger’s mouth. “You’re not going to die.”

Taehyung glanced at him with so much pity it was almost ridiculous. “Wanna bet?”

Jungkook was shocked. “What’s gotten into you? What the do you mean ‘wanna bet’?”

“This has an eighty percent fatality rate. Of course I’m going to want to bet if there’s that much chance I’m going to win.”

Taehyung laughed. Jungkook knew that the older is not fully aware of what he’s doing, it’s the shock, probably, because he was laughing and laughing and it was starting to get very creepy. He tried grabbing Taehyung’s hand, but he pulled it away. “I could die tomorrow, isn’t it absolutely hilarious?”

“You’re out of your ing mind. We’re going home.”

The car ride home was silent, Jungkook tried not speeding but he was just so eager to get home already and talk about this.

As soon as they entered their flat, they both kicked down their shoes. Taehyung silently walked to the sofa in the living room, and sat down, staring at the TV. It wasn’t even . Then he broke down. It wasn’t pretty crying, it was full-on, whole-body-shaking sobbing. Jungkook rushed to him, hugging his small frame, letting the older soak his t-shirt. That was the least of his problems.

“I – I don’t want to die.”

Here it is.

“Sunshine, no, you’re not dying.

“Eighty percent, Jungkook. Eighty.”

“That means there is a twenty percent chance of you recovering. Remember what Dr. Lee said? There is hope until the last moment. Like that French girl who couldn’t even walk anymore, she was glued to the hospital bed but then she got up. She’s forty-one now.”

“This is all so ed up,” he stressed the words and pulled away from the younger’s embrace. Jungkook couldn’t agree more. “if you have some other , you can at least keep track of how you’re doing, but this? We barely have an idea about my condition. I remember every word, Jungkook. We don’t know anything for sure until I’m either dead or free from this .”

He threw his head back, leaning against the backrest. “This so much,” he was still crying and it was killing Jungkook, to see him sad, and not being able to do anything about it. So he just leaned his head on Taehyung’s shoulder, but it did little to comfort him. It was something, though.

After Taehyung’s crying had stopped and it was all just sniffing, Jungkook started whispering in his ear.

“Want to hear an idea?”

“M-mm.”
“In February, I read your bucket list, you know that. It consists of 10 things. How about we complete everything until your birthday? How many weeks is it until your birthday?”

Taehyung started counting, then smiled. “Ten.”

“Exactly. And what’s the first thing?”

“Finding a four leaf clover!”

This is why he called Taehyung ‘sunshine’; he could get excited about such simple things, he could get over sadness so quickly. He was Jungkook’s sunshine indeed.

“So how about we go out to the park again, and find some?”

Taehyung’s face lit up as he started nodding excitedly; Jungkook could almost see him wiggling his tail like a puppy would.

 

“Puppies!” Taehyung exclaimed as a man walking two small dogs approached them. “Can I pet them?” he asked with so much happiness he could have been mistaken for a child, if it wasn’t for his height.

“Of course,” the man smiled. He probably found him adorable too, and honestly, who could blame him?

Jungkook watched him play with the dogs. His heart suddenly felt so light but so heavy at the same time. He forced himself not to think about his boyfriend’s illness for now, and just enjoy the moment. But they’re doing his bucket list, they’re completing it in ten weeks and that’s not something you would do if you don’t think about death, right?
He shook his head, his thoughts leaving him, and his brain was filled with undeniable love and warmth for the older man. Was it possible to love someone even more than this? Probably no.

“Ah, thank you, they’re adorable,” he stood up. “Jungkook, let’s go.”

 

After three minutes of walking around pointlessly, the younger stopped. “Babe.”

Taehyung didn’t even look up as he hummed as an answer.

“Do clovers even grow in October?”

Taehyung froze, and then started laughing uncontrollably. “Probably no.”

“Let’s find one anyway, I believe?”

“Oh yeah, totally.”

In the end, they didn’t find any four leaf clovers, or three leaf clovers, for that matter. But Jungkook found some partially green leaves on the ground, he tore them up to four pieces and tied them together with a piece of grass; he tried making it look like a clover, though he failed. It’s the thought that matters.

“Sunshine,” he shouted, “I found one.”

He saw Taehyung’s head shoot up, and he got up from where he was lying on the grass, running towards Jungkook at a crazy pace. But when they went out for a run, he couldn’t run to save his life.

“I’m going to die, Jungkook,” he panted heavily after running approximately a quarter of a mile. A quarter. “I can’t endure this pain.” Jungkook just rolled his eyes at this.

“Why can’t you run like this when we’re working out?” Jungkook asked when Taehyung got close enough to him so he didn’t have to shout.

“Because,” he stressed, lips already forming a pout. “I don’t enjoy working out just for the sake of it. Give me my clover.”

“It’s not- yeah, whatever. I’m done arguing with you about working out,” he laughed, giving up.

“You should. Also,” Taehyung moved closer, so that they were only half an inch apart. “I think we’re doing enough workout in the bed,” he whispered in the younger’s ear, who shivered visibly. “Thought so. Now, give me what is mine.”

Jungkook bit his lips to keep himself from laughing as he pulled out is self-made ‘clover’ from behind his back. For a few moments, Taehyung’s eyes shifted back and forth from Jungkook to his hands. Then he started laughing. Not just giggling, but honest, throwing-my-head-back laughing. Jungkook smiled.

“Thank you baby,” he said after he calmed down a little bit, he a wide grin was still plastered on his face. “I...appreciate it. I’m definitely keeping it.”

“Well you should appreciate it because I spent like ten years trying to tie this together because your pretty wanted clovers in October.”

“And we found one, didn’t we?”

His red hair was flying around as the wind blew without having an intention to stop, and he tried to push his locks out of his face by running his fingers through his hair, but it fell over his eyes the next second. He laughed at looked up at the sky. “It’s getting dark.”

“Should we head home?”

“No!” Taehyung exclaimed. “I want to watch the stars. All night, preferably.”

Jungkook laughed. “Okay, Sunshine. Want me to sing for you, too?”

Taehyung nodded enthusiastically.

“Let’s find a place to lie down first.”

They ended up in middle of a park, next to a playground, but the kids were long gone. They were at home, with their parents, preparing dinner. A small girl is probably telling a story about how a boy stole a toy from her best friend, and how there was a ‘very big fight’ when in reality it only lasted two minutes, tops. The boy is telling the same thing from his point of view. ‘I asked her if I could use her car but then she got mad when I started playing with it and we all got in a huuge fight! Can you believe this Mommy?’
Jungkook often thought about kids. His own kids, to be exact. He wanted kids more than anything, and he knew that Taehyung did, too. The current situation in Korea wasn’t the best for them, but they were still hoping that one day they would be able to raise a child. Taehyung wanted five children, and when he brought this up, Jungkook was on the verge of fainting. He loved kids but not that much. In the end, they agreed on two, a boy and a girl. But honestly, they would be happy with anything. The older of them is turning 26 in a few weeks, which is an age where people start thinking about a family; Jungkook is only 24, yes, but after spending seven years with his boyfriend, this is an issue. A problem bothering them more and more. Of course they wanted to get married, too, but how is either of them supposed to propose when they can’t even walk on the streets doing nothing but holding hands without a stranger making comments?
Not like same- marriage is legal anyway.

So Jungkook often told himself to think about the present and stop wondering about the future, but he can’t be content with the situation if he knows Taehyung is unhappy because he can’t achieve the thing he wants the most.

“What are you thinking about with that face?” A deep voice snapped him out of his thoughts. Jungkook forced himself to smile.

“Nothing much. Let’s lie down.”

Taehyung was still holding that poor leaf in his hand, and when he settled down on the ground, he put it down next to himself, close, but far enough so he wouldn’t crush it accidentally. He rested his head on Jungkook chest, and listened to his heartbeat, one of his favorite things to do. He loved how in the beginning, his heart was always beating rapidly, but after a few minutes, it calmed down, Jungkook was breathing slowly. It made Taehyung proud, to see how much effect he actually has on the younger, and how his presence could calm him down. Taehyung was feeling the same.

In the first months of their relationship, he always had a heartbeat of two hundred around Jungkook, but as time passed and they got accustomed to each other, it wasn’t anxiety he felt on a daily basis, but serenity. Taehyung considered it to be the best feeling in the world.

Right after Jungkook singing for him.

“I want to hear Lost Stars.” Taehyung’s favorite.

Jungkook pulled him closer.

“Please, don’t see.”

Taehyung closed his eyes.

“Just a boy caught up in dreams and fantasies.”

“Please, see me.”

He glanced up at the man right in front of him, admiring his face and all of his features. 

“Reaching out for someone I can’t see.”

He wasn’t looking at Taehyung, he was staring at the now significantly darker sky, the stars and the moon visible.

“Are we all lost stars trying to light up the dark?”

The lied there without moving, until Jungkook sang these words, when he looked down to meet Taehyung’s now teary eyes. He stopped singing and instead used his lips to kiss Taehyung.

“That was beautiful.”
“You are beautiful,” Jungkook winked.

“Smooth,” he laughed.

“Yeah, I know.”

Silence suddenly felt heavy. Like a hundred-pound rock on both of their chest.

“How do you find the Virgo?” Jungkook asked suddenly.

“Of course you would only think about yourself.”

“Fine,” he smiled, silently laughing at how Taehyung was trying to be mad at him. He may have taken acting in his junior year of high school, but in real life, he was a terrible actor. Or Jungkook just knew him too well. Both, maybe. “Let’s fine the Capricorn then.”

Taehyung pushed himself up and turned to rest his back on the grass. They weren’t touching, but they could feel each other’s warmth.

After gazing at the stars for ten seconds, Jungkook spoke up.

“Do you even know what they look like?”

“Absolutely no idea.”

And they started laughing again.

“Yeah okay, then let’s just find one that is remotely close to how the Capricorn looks.”

“Are you trying to find a goat in the stars? I thought you were the smarter one,” Taehyung said, shaking his head with a slight smile.

“What? I’m the younger here! I’m allowed to be childish.”

“Sure, sure. Let’s find a goat.”
 

It was four AM, long after Taehyung had dozed off talking about goats and ‘how cute their horns are’, when Jungkook tried collecting the older in his arms to take him home. He didn’t know horns can be cute.

He regretted not coming by car earlier, because their flat was a good twenty-five-minute walk from the park, and there’s no way he was going to wake his small baby up, so he had to bear with carrying him for half an hour.

He definitely lost weight, Jungkook thought. Taehyung was thin to begin with, but he felt almost alarmingly light in his arms; but that didn’t make him any less stunning. Twenty-five minutes were enough for a lot of things, but Jungkook spent every second admiring his partner as he was sleeping soundly. He was snoring lightly, something they often fought about.

“Why does the one who snores always fall asleep faster?” Jungkook sighed, but Taehyung just shrugged with a sneaky grin.

“Not my problem.”

It didn’t bother him now. When he visited his family his Busan once in a while and had to sleep alone, he even missed hearing Taehyung snoring, and waking up in the middle of the night to shove him up from his chest in hopes of him shutting up.

The moonlight hit Taehyung’s face just right, and Jungkook could see the shadows of his eyelashes under his eyes, his lips were parted slightly, breathing steady and slow. Jungkook really wanted to think about the future and what it holds for them, but he didn’t. It’s absolutely no use wondering about the unknown.

It always made him depressed.

At half past four, when they finally got home, Jungkook had the energy to change himself and Taehyung into pajamas, and brush his teeth before throwing himself on the bed and falling asleep in two seconds.

They’re going to be thankful in the morning that they had this week off work.

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wow i at long chapters lmao ok

sorry if it's a litle rushed i did my best;;