“Let's go back...we still need to rest.”

Hongbin squeezed Hakyeon's hand and lead the way.

Hongbin is walking one step forward and Hakyeon is following him. Hakyeon looked up to the man in front of him then he realized what he had done to make Hongbin act this way. There will never be a chance that the younger can execute such cheesy actions like this. But the hand holding him, leading the way, only proves more that it is indeed happening and real. At the same time of realizing that the situation he had fallen into is not a dream, somersault of unknown feelings were filling a pool in his stomach. Hakyeon could not comprehend what he is feeling. Maybe he's just glad that somehow there is an improvement in Hongbin showing his feelings and acting he care more to him than before. Smile slowly dipping in his lips and quickly wore off when Hongbin let go of his hand.

“We're here...I'll run a warm bath for you. I think you should bathe yourself first...your skin has longed exposed to the cold breeze...and the cold did bothered you anyway.” Hongbin grin at the last part of what he had said.

Hongbin was about to enter the dorm when Hakyeon spoke up.

“Hongbin...” Hakyeon started. “This doesn't mean I'll act normal again towards you. Don't expect anything.” He warned. Well he's still pained and Hakyeon wanted the members to feel what had they acted towards him. And he wanted them to realize themselves what had they done to their leader. As much as Hakyeon wanted to restrain himself from caring about his kids...he does not want to cause them inconvenience. So if still he can do as much as a leader must do, he'll do it. But somehow maybe he'll lessen acting he cared for them as a brother. And by that way...Hakyeon hopes the members will realize (that he just love them as much as he loves his own family and he's pained more as much as if the youngsters are in pained), not so late until he cannot forgive them anymore.

Hongbin didn't answer him but gave him an understanding smile.

Just as Hongbin promised, he ran the bath for him. He walked in the bathroom and lay himself in the warm waters of the tub and let his mind swam into the warmness of the waters too. He's physically drained but he's more exhausted mentally and emotionally emptied as if his heart has no supply of blood anymore.

He saw a glimpse of his own small cab of toiletries in the corner of his eye and turned his look to confirm if he really saw right. A weak smile painted his lips upon seeing that the members had cleaned and replenished his supplies too.

Hakyeon care a lot to s.

If he could just possessed Jaehwan's body everytime they had dance practice and let the younger's mind memorize the dance steps Hakyeon is doing by merely possessing him he had everyday done it already and escape the vocalist's body after and see him dance gracefully, Hakyeon would have exchange his life to someone who could do it. But he knows that would be impossible, he could only teach him every day...but the younger's wanted him no more. And seeing himself useless to contribute in Jaehwan's improvement stressed him and as much as he wanted to take all the sermon and scolding of their choreographer be directed to him not to Jaehwan, he will do it even though he himself did not commit mistakes. But if that would cause ease to the younger, being yelled at will cause no embarrassment at all.

Even Hakyeon had begged down on his knees to the CEO and their managers, they still won't let Hakyeon stand in the edge of their group greeting formation. Hakyeon only wanted to let Hongbin had it his way. He wanted to cause the younger no annoyance anymore. And if he will stand in the corner and see that Hongbin is enjoying himself in the middle with Jaehwan and Taekwoon in his side, being away from the center spot will be haven for him just to give the younger what he wanted...a place with no Hakyeon. But their CEO and their managers won't let Hakyeon do as he want. They still told the leader he needs to stand in the center. It caused pain on him but he thinks it will cause more pain on the younger, and seeing he has no any means to help the younger have his peace...he made himself useless. If Hakyeon could only stand 10 meters away from Hongbin he could at least have stand a hundred mile away from him.

Hakyeon may looked like he's weak but truthfully he's physically fit. Yes he has no washboard abs like the other members, has no vein-sculpted toned biceps, run-fitted thighs and yet Hakyeon is physically strong and mentally and emotionally strong to be added. Seeing Taekwoon curled on himself whenever the vocalist had simple colds or cough or fever or a combination of the three, if those sickness can be soaked via bluetooth he could let his phone drained dead batt as long as he could take basic sickness from the younger. And by that, Hakyeon will feel at ease knowing he could do something for his friend, but then again, even if Hakyeon turned the world upside down that would be impossible. What he could do is take care of him when the younger is sick and gave him his food and med and tea and rest but he couldn't do that anymore since Taekwoon would not let him do it...for what reason, the vocalist is disgusted of him, that's all. By simple as that, it hurts.

Most of the time when they are recording songs made by Wonshik, Hakyeon would intentionally commit mistakes at his part, whatever way he can do -crack his voice purposely, crumbled his lyrics, eat his words, make himself out of tune, or sounded like it had gone thru auto tune already, tuning his voice into the 180°C antonym of what feels he must sang his part according to the concept of the song, he had done everything already- just to have the chance to minimize his parts and gave up his line to Hongbin and Sanghyuk he would dare the beast to conquest its lair then. But only sometimes of those 'most of the times' will Wonshik only let Hakyeon gave his parts to the youngsters resulting Hakyeon only to sang one line in the first part and another line at either second part or last part, there is an instance too where Hakyeon almost sang second voices only. But if that will cause the youngsters to have more lines then almost not singing at all is not a big deal then. Another reason is that, Hakyeon didn't really wanted to ruin Wonshik's masterpiece knowing the rapper had put a lot of his time, sleep, effort into it almost giving up food sometimes. And if all of the above happens (giving up his lines and not wrecking the rapper's song), Hakyeon was relieved.

And as for Sanghyuk...he didn't know anymore. Hakyeon just doesn't know anymore. He had done everything he thinks will bring comfort and convenience to the youngest but still the latter had made it to Hakyeon as if the leader is doing the complete opposite of what comfort and convenient should be. Leaving the maknae on himself because that what he wanted but still go back to him and ask simple things made a profound confusion in every brain cell of Hakyeon. The maknae hated him because he just hated him but still goes back to him for support and simple life hacks and most of the time hated him again, this only made Hakyeon mentally knot his intestines. He couldn't understand the maknae of what he wanted. But since most of the times Sanghyuk hated him and wanted him in no meters near him just like Hongbin, maybe, being not the maknae's leader will finally resolve the younger's anger or pain or hatredness or whatsoever that is towards him. Maybe he should do that. Became the no leader at him, since Sanghyuk never -not never, just oftenly- obeys him as the eldest and the leader or both.

Only when Hakyeon feels his fingers were like marinated laundries then he got up out of the tub letting all the thinking he had done a while ago went washed with the waters simultaneously.

Grateful for almost sinking himself in the tub and drown himself in his thought for good two hours his body and mind has no will to fight back sleep any longer.

Maybe this night...a night that would at least let Hakyeon sleep...truly.

---

A/N:

I can't move on from the last chapter and I need more of ChaBin moments and so to satisfy my feels I've made one...

Ba-ba-bbam~

NBIN Drabbles