"Jimin!" Said Jin hyung

Yeah replied Jimin

"can you go clean Jungkooks room while the rest of us clean the rest of the house it's the only room left I want it clean for when he arrives"

Ill get right to it! Im so excited kookie arrives today its been a year since I last so him, he left for family matters but we never talked since his been gone I here from the members of how he is doing. It hurt my heart and made me depressed that he never called or text me once on how his doing or how Im doing. I mean I guess its my fault for that, I tried to not be as close to him as I was when we first met. I was always so clingy showing my feeling towards him. But as years went on he started pushing me away which hurt. At first I didn't know why I was affected by his responses but later I realized that my love towards Jungkook was brotherly love but more as romance towards another guy. My love for him started to grow for him and I started distancing myself from him since it is wrong to love a member and want to do things with him as a lover. But it got hard to move on when Jungkook kept being caring and lovable towards me, it was confusing me I don't know why he was acting like that now, but that made me distance myself even more it was for the best...well that's what I thought. I was depressed for a week because he was ignoring me and I didn't know why I cried myself to sleep every day because it hurts. It got to the point that the members were worried so I had to tell them all the reason. They weren't surprised that I was in love with Kookie they just gave me this looks that I didn't understand and told me that everything was alright and that everything will work for the better. I was hard for me to be that happy Jimin when Kookie said he was leaving for a week but later turned out to a year.

I rushed to his room to start cleaning I mean its not that messy I've been sleeping here every day since he left because I missed him terribly and it smelled like him but later the smell of him disappeared. Right now I'm waring one of Kookies hoodies that hide my hands on covers mid-thigh well its covering my shorts. As i was dusting the top of his wardrobe something fell and hit me on the head ow I hope i didn't break it oh its just a book. 'Jungkooks Diary' should i read it or not, I mean he left it here so it must not be that important right? right, just a couple of pages no one will know anyways. 

---------Jungkooks Diary Don't touch----------------------------

Dear Diary,

Im so nervous i'm moving from Busan to go to Soul to pursue my career as a singer and dancer i'm so scared, my grandma gave me this book to write down my feelings so im trying it out even though i think its stupid. I mean I don't think ill be writing much in it.

...........Wow such a little brat he was

Dear Diary,

Ever since I joined BTS I loved it, I was the best day of my life. Then Jimin joined and my life took a turned. His the best hyung to be around, he makes me smile whenever he smiles or laughs, I can tell him anything, plus he buys me the most food.

........I miss those days so much

Dear Diary,

I don't know what im feeling towards Jimin but I don't want to know

...........What don't you want to know Kookie

Dear Diary,

I don't know what to write but i'm having a crises with my heart

Dear Diary,

I have this tightness in my chest and it hurts, and the messed up part of it is that the reason behind it is every time I look at Jimin being all touchy and smiling around other people it hurts. My mood goes down and then I start getting mad with Jimin when he tries to do the same with me. After that I feel like .

........???? I don't think I should read any more but I want to know what he is writing about me, so I can solve our situation yeah thats why I should continue reading, right?

Dear Diary,

why can't I contain my jealousy towards Jimin, my mind starts killing anyone that gets close to him, even if its my own members which I love.

.............~o0o~

Dear Diary,

Have I said how much I love jimins eyes and smile, and how his eyes disappear when he smiles that's the best shining smile of Park Jimin that makes me fall deeper in love with him

Dear Diary,

Its been 4years since I have developed this terrible feeling for Jimin-hyung and don't know what to do with them. I know I shouldn't be feeling like this towards one of my members. It doesn't have to do with the fact that I'm a boy and his a guy as well, only that he is family and I don't want to ruin that, I don't want to damage BTS because of my love for Jimin-hyung. But can't I be selfish for once in my life...can't I?

Dear Diary,

I don't know how much longer I can keep my feelings to myself its eating me inside

................*tears fallin