Trigger warning for mentions of abuse, verbal abuse, and thoughts of suicide.

 

Wherever Kyungsoo went, people stood on the sidelines, always asked, “Who is that?”

Those strangers, who had no idea what kind of life Kyungsoo lived in, always made up rumors. 

Oh, he's a loner. 

Oh, he's a freak. 

Don't talk to him. 

He's weird. 

He's creepy. 

He killed his little brother when he was a child. 

He didn't even look sorry. 

He didn't even cry. 

He's so strange. 

I bet he can't even love. 

He doesn't deserve to be loved by anyone. 

He should just slit his wrists and die already. 

Each sentence was a stab to the heart every time Kyungsoo walked through the halls and heard what they said about him. He took in the verbal abuse knowing he wouldn't be able to do anything about it. Kyungsoo had no one to be there for him. “I guess I am a loner,” he murmured to himself as he passed by one of his classmates. 

No one ever bothered saying hello to him in the mornings. No one ever bothered inviting him to group outings. No one ever bothered getting to know him. Kyungsoo was an outcast, always standing alone to the side during physical education class, playing with the hem of his jacket. The professors never bothered him, knowing he wouldn't make a peep. They always allowed him to sit on the benches while everyone else participated in class. 

The door to the class slid open as he pushed it to the side and entered it. No one paid attention, and if they did, it was to make fun of him. Degrade him in every possible way—tape things to the back of his uniform. Write mean things on his desk. Bump shoulders with him and sometimes drop his books down to the floor. Everyone laughed whenever that happened. No one ever bothered helping him pick up his things. 

“Quiet down, everyone.”

Kyungsoo took a seat at the back of the class next to the window. His course was on the second floor facing the track field, where he saw many students chatting happily. Kyungsoo wished he had just one friend to hang out with because maybe then the loneliness he felt would go away. Perhaps then he would feel happy and want to continue living. 

“Doh Kyungsoo?”

“…Present.”

The murmurs started up again. 

Why is he still breathing?

Just stay home, no one wants you around. 

Just kill yourself already. 

What a loser. 

He's a freak that no one loves. 

Kyungsoo felt something strange in his heart. It almost felt like it dropped into his stomach. Tears were stinging the corner of his eyes, and he suppressed the sob that threatened to leave his lips. He clenched his fists that were resting on his lap, biting his bottom lip until it turned white. The words wounded him gravely. They left scars behind that not even an apology could fix. 

Those scars were too engraved into his soul that it would be a miracle for Kyungsoo ever to be happy again. 

“Partner up.”

Kyungsoo didn't bother looking up from his desk as he heard the chairs moving back and students getting up to walk over to their friend’s table. Loud conversations were happening throughout the entire class. Everyone seemed to be excited about the project. Everyone except for Kyungsoo who sat quietly in the back of the room with his heart in his throat. 

“Jongin, go sit with Kyungsoo.”

A scrape of the chair. 

Shoes were rattling on the floor. 

Someone new sat beside Kyungsoo. 

“You all have until the end of the year to turn in your project.”

End of session. 

“If you keep clenching your fists like that, you're going to draw blood from your palms.”

I can't believe Jongin got stuck with that freak. 

Poor Jongin. 

He deserves someone that is smart. 

“You can pick someone else if you want,” Kyungsoo said in a lo,w trembling voice, “I'm sure you don't want to be near a freak like me.” He felt his bottom lip wobble but held his tears, for he didn't want to cry in front of everyone. Kyungsoo knew who Jongin was because he was charming, good at dancing, the fastest runner in the entire school, and a straight-A student. He was good-looking, tall and built. He had skin the color of warm ginger-eyes a mocha color. He was overly sweet and polite. He was everyone's friend. 

Unlike Kyungsoo, who had pale milky skin and dull eyes. UnlikeKyungsoo, who had zero friends and was always quiet. Unlike him, who wasn't good at anything other than crying his heart out during lonely nights when he was left starving, alone, and broken. 

Jongin grunted, twirling his pencil around his fingers, a pensive look painting his golden features. “Why would I want to pick someone else when you have no one?”

Kyungsoo coughed into his hand to hide the fact that he had started to cry. He shook his head, elbows sliding down the desk until he rested his head on his arms. Kyungsoo's body shook as the tears rolled down his cheeks, dripping down to his table, where they formed a small puddle of salt. 

The whispers started again. 

Wow, is he actually crying?

What a crybaby. 

I can't believe he's so weak. 

Maybe that's why his parents abuse him because he probably cries every time he gets hit. 

Jongin watched Kyungsoo's trembling form, and for once in his dull life of being the center of attention, he felt a spark of life in his dead heart. Despite being the golden star of the entire school, Jongin never felt truly happy with himself or the people surrounding him. He knew everyone stuck with him because of his status and popularity. They only talked to him because he was loaded with money and cars, but Jongin never felt like he could genuinely be his true self because they all had high expectations about him. But just now, as he watched Kyungsoo, a boy that consistently went to hell and back, sob quietly against the wooden desk, Jongin couldn't help but want to protect this broken soul. He wanted to piece back Kyungsoo's shattered heart even if he knew it would take forever just to be close to the boy. 

Jongin often had his eyes focused on Kyungsoo whenever they were in class. He had heard the rumors spreading throughout the crowded halls of Kyungsoo, killing his little brother when he was a young child. Kyungsoo didn't seem like he was capable of such a crime. He looked too innocent, far too quiet ever to lay a hand on anyone. Jongin often wondered if Kyungsoo ever smiled. 

Jongin had no idea about what he should do to help calm the boy beside him. He never really had to comfort anyone in his life before. He slowly leaned toward the sobbing male and patted his back with a gentle hand, but it made Kyungsoo let out a pained gasp. Jongin moved back, raising his hands in defense when Kyungsoo looked at him with watery eyes. “Sorry, I was just trying to…”

Kyungsoo's bottom lip trembled again as a fresh set of tears rolled down his cheeks. He lowered his head, allowing his midnight bangs to cover his wet eyes. “Don't waste your time on me, Jongin hyung. I'm not worth anyone's time.”

Jongin wanted to tell Kyungsoo that he was worth everything so desperately, but he just couldn't. He couldn't approach Kyungsoo like that because he knew the male would feel pressured and cornered. Jongin wanted to keep him close, not turn him away. “Let’s meet up under the cherry blossom tree after school.”

Kyungsoo shook his head, clenching his fists again until his knuckles turned white. “Why? So that you can bring your friends to beat me up and humiliate me?”

“I would never think about hurting you.”

Kyungsoo scoffed, rising from his desk to grab his things to leave. “That's what everyone says to me, but look at me now, my soul has left my body, and my heart is dying with each passing day. Do you think I need your reassurance that everything's going to be okay? I don't need your fake sympathy or your fake smiles. I don't need anyone in my life because everyone that gets close to me always ends up abandoning me. Sure, I'll meet you under that tree, and we will finish this project, but after all of this is over, don't bother talking to me anymore.”

Jongin stayed behind with a bitter taste in his mouth. It almost tasted like rejection. He remained in his seat long after Kyungsoo had left the classroom. He blinked several times, for once detecting the feeling in his chest. Those words hurt him, and he didn't even understand why. He didn't know Kyungsoo. He didn't know anything about Doh Kyungsoo. But Jongin wasn't going to give up. He wanted to understand that boy. 

Can you believe the nerve of that guy?

No one should be able to talk to Jongin like that and get away with it. 

He needs a proper beating. 

“Don't you ing touch him,” Jongin growled, standing up from the desk with his things. There was an announcement that the school had been let out early due to a teacher's workshop. “Don't you dare lay a hand on him, or I will personally bring you hell.”

Oh please. Don't tell me you care about that murderer?

“And if I do, what's it to you, Jinri?” 

He's not worth anyone's time. Especially yours. 

“How would you even know who is worth my time or not? None of you know anything about me. You only see what's on the surface. You only see what I allow you to see. You all don't know me at all. You think you do but you don't. All of you are only hanging out with me because of my status in this ing school.”

Did Kim Jongin just curse?

Wah, maybe he's having a bad day. 

Hey, maybe he'll buy us lunch today!

“Disgusting roaches,” Jongin angrily muttered as he left, sliding the door closed with a loud bang. It scared the few students that were standing close by. The hallways were crowded with mostly third years, but Jongin paid them no attention because he only had one name in his head. Doh Kyungsoo. 

Hey, Jongin!

Hey, golden boy!

Are you going home?

Let's go to that new arcade that opened up!

Jongin ignored them all, blocking everyone out as he skipped down the steps in a hurry, wanting to meet with Kyungsoo as soon as possible. 

There he was leaning against the cherry blossom tree where its pink leaves fluttered in the wind and landed gently on Kyungsoo's uniform shirt. He looked like an ethereal being. The white rays of the sun shined down on his form made Kyungsoo look so soft, pink lips parted, pale fingers playing with the lint on his uniform pants. It made a small smile spread on Jongin's lips. 

Jongin approached him slowly and sat down in front of him. 

“Hello,” Jongin greeted, turning to rummage through his bag to grab a carton of peach juice. He held it out to Kyungsoo and waited for him to take it. 

Kyungsoo stared at him with a small frown on his puffy lips. His eyes were still swollen and wet as if he had still been crying before Jongin arrived. He sniffles, bringing up his fists to run them gently over his eyes. “Why are you giving me that?”

Jongin shrugged, playing with the crinkling straw and chewed on his lip. “You must be dehydrated after all that water you allowed to spill from your eyes.”

Kyungsoo shook his head, sighing in exhaustion, but took the box from Jongin's hands. He was rewarded with a smile that had him quickly averting his gaze towards the green grass surrounding them. “Stop pretending like you care about me, Jongin hyung. You probably hate me as everyone else does. You probably think I'm a murderer because of those rumors you've been hearing about me. It's fine if you believe them, though…” he trailed off, wiping away the condensation from the peach-colored carton, “…they're not even true.”

“What's not true?” Jongin was quick to ask, subconsciously smiling because Kyungsoo accepted the drink. Jongin expected to get rejected by the smaller male, but this was so unexpected that he couldn't help but smile to himself. 

Why is Jongin hanging out with that loser?

Doh Kyungsoo is a nobody. It should always stay that way. 

A sad chuckle left Kyungsoo's parted lips, “Those rumors about me. They're not true. I didn't…” he paused, choking on a sob, “I didn't kill him.” Kyungsoo slid his hands through his dark hair and tugged at it, shoulders deflating as he shook his head once more and fixed his composure. He knew he shouldn't be showing any sort of emotions in front of Jongin because then that look of pity would be directed to him, and Kyungsoo hated that look. 

“Kill who?” Jongin asked, even though he knew he was crossing the line. He flinched when Kyungsoo glared at him through those sad, bottomless eyes. “I'm sorry,” Jongin apologized sincerely, threading his fingers through the tall green grass beside his shoes. “I shouldn't pry into your private life like that. Forgive me; I was way out of line.”

The wind blew in from the south, and it smelled like mint and oranges. It ruffled their hair and uniform. The light of the sun soon got replaced with heavy gray clouds, but neither of the two males bothered moving. 

Kyungsoo stared down at his lap, again clenching his fists tightly to stop himself from crying. He had had enough of the constant tears that never ceased to stop falling from his eyes. Kyungsoo hated himself. He hated himself so much. 

“I've never met someone who would ever want to associate themselves with me. Everyone usually keeps their distance, mumbling amongst themselves as if I'm not even there. They point at me, throw things at me, spill things on me. They insult me, humiliate me, degrade me. Everyone hates me, so you should too, Jongin hyung.”

Jongin felt the emotion he felt in class when Kyungsoo's hurtful words pierced through his heart. He felt an unfamiliar feeling in his chest. His heart wouldn't stop fluttering. His breathing grew heavy. He began to get angry. Frustrated that the boy before him never stood up for himself. Kyungsoo always let himself get stepped on. He let everyone use him for fun. “Why do you even bother caring if they talk about you?”

“Because their words hurt me…”

“So what if they hurt you? Just ignore them!”

Kyungsoo lifted his gaze from his lap and gave Jongin a curious look. “Why are you getting angry?”

Jongin brought down his fists to the ground hard, the grass crunching under the oppressive weight. “Because I'm sick and tired of seeing you get hurt every single ing day! And you just sit there quietly and take it all in! Do something about it, Kyungsoo! Don't just sit there looking all vulnerable…fight back!”

“That won't stop the rumors from spreading.”

Jongin rose so that he was resting his weight on his shins and crawled over to Kyungsoo, who backed up against the tree, eyes widening at Jongin's proximity to his face. “By caring about those rumors, Kyungsoo, you're leaving the door wide open for them to keep throwing daggers at you! Is that what you want? Do you want to keep being called weak? Do you want to keep being called a crybaby? Is that what you want? Tell me!”

Kyungsoo felt his cheeks heat up, they burned a bright red that traveled up to his ears. He never had someone this close to him before except for his abusive father when he would slap him across the face. On those nights, Kyungsoo would show up to school with a bruised cheek and split lip, and he would walk back home with more bruises adorning his body. It was a neverending nightmare for him. It was a dream where he couldn't wake up. Everywhere he went, people would always ask themselves, who is that? And that's when the murmurs would start up again. And the cycle would repeat itself. 

Kyungsoo stared straight into Jongin's warm eyes before he turned his head away to chew harshly on his bottom lip. He chose not to answer Jongin's question. “Why do you care about me? You don't even know who I am…” 

A hand gently gripped Kyungsoo's jaw and turned it so that it faced Jongin. “I might not know you well or at all, but it doesn't mean I like to stand in the crowd watching you get beat up by all these people. It doesn't mean I don't get mad at those things they tell you.”

“But you don't care, Jongin hyung. If you cared about me, then you would have at least stepped in to stop them, but you didn't because you don't care at all about me.” Kyungsoo's bottom lip wobbled, his sorrowful eyes growing wet with more tears. Soon enough, they were spilling down his milky cheeks, dripping down his chin and onto Jongin's hand. 

The cold tears burned Jongin's hand. They left behind a reminder that he had made Kyungsoo cry again. “But I…”

But Kyungsoo simply pushed the hand away from his jaw, moving away from Jongin to stand up. He sighed heavily, sniffling and wiping at his eyes again. “The professor said the project was about getting to know each other but since you know so much about me, then you're all set. There's no need to bother talking to me anymore.” Kyungsoo picked up his book bag from the ground, tossing it over his shoulders so that it rested on his back. “Thank you for the peach juice and fake concerns but I'm fine on my own. Goodbye.” He bowed politely and turned away in a swift move, lowering his head to keep his swollen eyes trained on the floor and walked away. 

“Kyungsoo, wait!” Jongin scrambled up hurriedly with his bag in hand and darted off behind the pale boy. “You don't even know anything about me yet!”

Kyungsoo was in front of Jongin in less than a second. Red-rimmed eyes looked up at him with a frown on his lips. “I'm not interested in getting to know you, so just leave me the hell alone!” 

Jongin stood still with his lips pressed into a thin line. He watched Kyungsoo walk away from him angrily, yet despite getting screamed at by the younger male, Jongin still wanted to approach hi,m but even then, he felt his heart shatter into pieces. Was this what Kyungsoo felt on a daily basis? How could his heart still function after being stepped on continuously? 

“I still want to get close to him.”

" "

Did you see that freak? He has a black eye!

Serves him right for talking to Jongin like that yesterday. 

He deserves everything that gets sent his way. 

Murderer. 

Kyungsoo kept his gaze towards the ground as he climbed up the stairs to the second floor. He had stayed awake most of the night, curled up into a tight ball as he cried into his pillow. He couldn't get those words Jongin had told him the day before out of his head. He couldn't get Jongin's warm mocha eyes out of his mind. Every time he would close his eyes, it was all he saw. Jongin’s face stayed imprinted behind his eyelids. Kyungsoo hated himself for hurting the older male, but it was for the best. Kyungsoo knew he and Jongin wouldn't last in a friendship because someone would come in and tear them apart. 

He longed to have Jongin touch him again, even if it was to pat him on the back for comfort. Kyungsoo couldn't remember the last time someone treated him like an actual human. Kyungsoo was already so used to being treated like garbage. He was used to being treated like a stray. His parents often reminded him of their hatred for him. They constantly drilled into his head that he should just get rid of himself already, and Kyungsoo had spent many sleepless nights standing in front of his bathroom sink with a blade pressing against his wrist, but he could never find the strength to push through and slice his wrist open. There was always a tiny light somewhere in his mind showing him that he will be happy soon. It might not happen right away, but Kyungsoo would be able to pull through and expand his wings. 

For now, Kyungsoo felt like a bird trapped in a metal cage. No matter where his tiny wings fluttered, there was no way out. 

Kyungsoo hissed in pain when someone bumped into his wounded shoulder. Ah, right. His mother pushed him against the corner of the table. Kyungsoo remembered bursting into tears at the searing pain that ran down his arm. He remembered getting punched in the stomach by his father and slapped across the face by his mother. 

His lips formed a grimace, yet he carried on walking until he arrived at classroom A where he entered with his head down, hands trembling as he approached his desk near the window. 

Hey, loser. 

Did you get beat up again by your mommy and daddy?

A hand tilted up Kyungsoo's chin harshly, turning it side to side. 

Kyungsoo swallowed nervously, eyes sweeping over the crowded room in search of Jongin, but all he saw were blurry faces. He didn't know why he was even looking for Jongin's eyes in the sea of angry students. Kyungsoo didn't know why. 

What's this? Are you mute or something?

Say something before I punch you. 

“Didn't I tell you yesterday to not lay a hand on him?” Came a familiar voice stood by the entrance of the classroom. Jongin stood leaning against the sliding door with a look of anger in his eyes. His hands gripped a juice box. 

Oh, please. We all know those were empty threats.  

Yeah, you're the school's golden star. You wouldn't dare get into trouble. You're a goody-two-shoes, isn't that right, Jongin?

“If that's what you want to think, Taemin, then you're free to do whatever you want.” Jongin rolled his eyes at his stupid classmate, who glared openly at him for no reason. “I told you yesterday to not lay a hand on Kyungsoo, but did any of you imbeciles listen to me?”

Why do you care so much about this killer?

He doesn't deserve your attention. 

“And you think you deserve it? None of you deserve even a second of my attention. Now if you will excuse me, you're blocking my seat.”

People began to move out of the way, watching with dark eyes as Jongin made his way through the crowd so he could take a seat next to the empty chair next to Kyungsoo whose cheeks were set ablaze with anger and embarrassment. 

“Everyone sit down and be quiet.”

The professor entered with his briefcase, immediately reaching the podium to write the assignment for the day on the dry-erase board. 

“You may talk quietly with your seatmate after I call the roll.”

Everyone began to chatter as soon as the professor sat down on his chair and made a roll call. Everyone seemed to be there, yet it didn't stop the students from mouthing bad for Doh Kyungsoo being present yet again. 

Jongin placed the crumpled juice box on Kyungsoo's desk. The flavor was apple this time. “Here, I'm sorry for my actions just now.”

Kyungsoo stared at the carton sitting on his desk. It made his heart flutter inside his chest. “Why aren't you sitting at your desk with your friend?”

“Because,” Jongin trailed off, jotting down his name on the right corner of his paper, “you looked lonely, and I thought you could use some company.”

Kyungsoo sighed heavily, shaking his head in disbelief. “You're annoying, you know that, right?”

A smile made its way to Jongin's lips. “I didn't, but thanks for letting me know, Kyungsoo.”

“Stop bringing me juice boxes.”

Jongin shook his head, lightly tapping his pencil against their shared desk. “No can do, Kyungsoo.”

“Why?”

“Because it makes you happy.”

A grumble left Kyungsoo's mouth as he turned away from the smirking male to his right to gaze out of the window to his left. The weather was overcast today,  and it looked like it would be raining sometime soon as the day progressed. “How would you know?” He murmured in a distant voice, his body present but his mind elsewhere. 

“Because I always see a slight glimmer in your eyes when I give it to you. You get happy. Your heart flutters at the warmth you feel that someone is giving you comforting attention. You get happy that someone is finally giving you the time of day.” Jongin shyly rubbed the back of his neck even though Kyungsoo was turned away from him and couldn't see what was happening. “I saw how your face turned the color of red roses when I invaded your private space yesterday.”

“So what? That didn't mean anything.”

“It did mean something.”

“It did not.”

“Let’s meet under the cherry blossom tree for lunch.”

Despite having been facing away from Jongin and everyone else, Kyungsoo couldn't stop himself from saying no to Jongin. He couldn't stop himself from holding back and pushing Jongin away and out of his life because although Kyungsoo had made it evident that he wasn't curious to know about the older boy, he still felt like he was somehow letting Jongin in unknowingly. Even though Kyungsoo found Jongin to be highly annoying, he always wanted him around because it was nice to be desired. It felt good to be able to talk to someone that wasn't going to beat him up or insult him. It felt nice to have someone defend him when everyone else was out to get him. 

So Kyungsoo decided to let himself go just a little. He was still cautious around Jongin, but maybe only this once, Jongin would be different from everyone else. 

“…Okay.”  

" "

Having lunch underneath the cherry blossom tree became a routine for both Kyungsoo and Jongin. Even though Kyungsoo was still cautious around Jongin, knowing that one day the older male was going to tire of seeing him and would abandon him like everyone else, Jongin always made sure to be patient with the younger. 

“Here,” Jongin gave Kyungsoo another juice box. It was pineapple this time around. 

Kyungsoo caught it with ease, pale fingers turning the carton over to look at a cartoon pineapple drawn on it. “Where do you get these juice boxes from?”

“My mom packs lunch for my little sister, so I always sneak one into my bag when she's not looking.”

At the mention of Jongin's little sister, Kyungsoo's entire features morphed into something sad. The younger dropped his head to bore holes into his lap, fingers gripping around the material of his uniform pants. “Oh,” he breathed with great trouble, “does your mother ever notice?”

Jongin only watched Kyungsoo from the corner of his eye. He wanted to so severely reach out and take the pale boy into his arms, but he couldn't. Jongin knew he shouldn't. “Sometimes, but she's fine with the reason I gave her this morning.”

Kyungsoo forced himself to calm down and lifted his eyes from his lap to focus them on Jongin. The sky was somewhat cloudy today, but the rays of the blinding sun were still able to pass right through them. Winter was steadily approaching the city, but it was all everyone anticipated. The sweltering heat made it being outside almost impossible. It made the thick navy blue uniform stick to their bodies, but since Jongin insisted on joining him for lunch under the pretty tree, it wasn't as hot as Kyungsoo would have thought it would be. “Reason?”

Jongin let out a laugh that sounded like angels giggling. He looked so beautiful that Kyungsoo's lips parted in awe at the scene happening right before him. Kyungsoo felt like God himself had blessed him. Was this a sign that everything in his life was going to be okay? Was this His way of telling Kyungsoo that Jongin would be the one to save him?

“She asked me why I kept taking a juice box to school every day, so I told her that I had a friend that I like.”

Like?

“So she smiled and allowed me to take as many cartons as I wanted.”

“Why would you like someone you don't even know? Why would you bother wasting your time on me? I'm not…”

“What did I tell you seven months ago, Kyungsoo?” Jongin stared at him with an unreadable look, fingers ping his backpack to take out a plastic box with food. He it toward Kyungsoo, handing him a pair of metal chopsticks and a couple of folded napkins. “Just eat your ing lunch, will you?”

Kyungsoo felt himself swallow hard. His heart was lodged in his throat again. There was an empty, almost hollow feeling in his stomach that made a stray tear roll down his cheek and dropped down to the plastic covering the warm food on his lap. “Hyung…are you m-mad at me?”

Kyungsoo felt so small. He was feeling useless again. He felt like a failure. He made that smile disappear from Jongin's face. It was all his fault. 

The silence was heavy between them. 

Jongin remained quiet, still beside Kyungsoo with a heaving chest. “Of course I am, Kyungsoo.”

“W-Why?”

“Because I don't want you to think so lowly of yourself. You might always think that you're not worth my time, but you are, Kyungsoo. I might not know how your heart works, but I care about you so much that it always breaks my heart when you brush off my sincere words. When you brush off all of my attempts at trying to get to know you.” Jongin's body trembled as he slid his right hand through his hair and began to sob quietly. “Have you ever thought about how much you are hurting me? God, I'm not asking for your hand in marriage, but please, Kyungsoo, please let me in. I swear on my life that I will never in my life bring you any pain. I truly do care about you. Hell, I might even be in love with you. Holy ,” he cried, hiding his tear-stained cheeks behind his hands. “I'm in love with someone that can't even stand being around me. Wow, what luck do I have, huh?” Jongin's laugh was weak and full of heartbreak. 

“Hyung…” Kyungsoo wanted to reach out toward the crying male. He wanted to push the food on his lap away and crawl over to Jongin. Kyungsoo wanted to do so many things, but he didn't know what kept him rooted to where he sat. Jongin was slipping right through his fingers, right through the cracks of his broken heart. “I'm sorry, b-but…” he shut his mouth once his eyes fell on the fractured look Jongin was giving him. 

“Don't give me any more excuses, Kyungsoo. You hate my company. You might even hate me as well, but to try and be polite, you keep me around because you can't stand being alone. You've already gotten a taste of what it's like to have someone actually care about you, and because you see me breaking down in front of you like this is now when you're going to try and reach out to me? Just so that you won't be left alone again?” Jongin's lips trembled, his eyes growing moist again. He was crying, whimpering like a child, and it was all Kyungsoo's fault. “If I'm such a bother, then it would be better for me to just stop talking to you, right? We only have five more months left on this project. I'll give you your wish. After all of this is over, I won't bother talking to you anymore.”

Mindlessly playing with his fingers, Kyungsoo brought his fingers up to his mouth where he began to chew on them just to see if the feelings of guilt eating him up would leave him alone. But they didn't relent. Negative thoughts started to fill his mind. Jongin was still crying in front of him, the sky was getting darker by the second, and Kyungsoo wanted to disappear. He took in a shaky breath, lifting his chin up to look at the dark, gloomy sky where the heavy clouds were quickly approaching, where the wind began to pick up. Maybe it was time for Jongin to know the whole truth behind those rumors. “When…when I was a child, my mother had another son. His name was Sehun. Sehun was my little brother who I looked after because my parents were too busy drinking and smoking. They always doted on him, said he was the golden child of the family. He would get away with everything. He never got blamed for all the trouble he would cause. Sehun always laughed at my demise when our parents would take turns kicking and slapping me.” Kyungsoo's eyes moved left and right to look at the storm that was approaching the school. “One day, on a chilly Wednesday morning, our father took us out to the frozen lake to fish. Sehun had an orange scarf around his neck that day and orange mittens. I remember him smiling so happily, and for once, I think I felt hatred for him.”

Jongin uncovered his face to look in Kyungsoo's way. He knew for a fact that the younger was never open about his personal life. Jongin only knew what was on the surface. 

“My father left us alone to go back to his truck. I know he left me there to take care of his precious child, but I didn't. Sehun was running around the thin floor of frozen ice. He was smiling so happily but then a look of horror crossed his features when the ice beneath his feet cracked, and he fell right through into the frozen water,” Kyungsoo let out a shaky breath, sliding his hand through his hair and then directing his empty gaze to Jongin's wet ones. “I wanted to help, but I knew that if I did, I would die as well. So I left him there. I left him alone, watched his hands disappear into the dark water. When my father came back, he asked where Sehun went, and I lied to him, told him he went off to play with some friends, and by some miracle, he believed me. It was only when it was time to go that Sehun didn't come back. They sent out a search party but they never found him. My parents blamed me for his sudden disappearance and beat me twice as hard every night.”

Tiny drops of cold rain began to fall from the sky. 

“It wasn't until the police arrived at our front doorstep that they announced they had found Sehun's body floating in the frozen river. That night my parents…they…they…” Kyungsoo furrowed his eyebrows together, biting harshly on his bottom lip, “they almost killed me that night and after that day, that was when all hell broke loose. I became their punching bag whenever they were mourning or whenever they got angry at each other. That's when the verbal abuse started. There wasn't one night where I went to bed with clear skin. I was always in pain, always crying and always whimpering. I was always begging them to stop, but they never did. So I learned to keep my mouth shut and just let them hit me. I didn't know how to stand up to my parents. Eventually, I went back to school, and somehow everyone knew what I did to my little brother. They saw what I did that day, all of them. Everywhere I went, people stood on the sidelines always asked, “Who is that?” And people would always answer with the same word, murderer…"

The rain began to fall harder. 

Before Kyungsoo knew it, there were arms wrapped around his waist in the most gentle ways, and he was tugged forward where he landed on Jongin's lap. Kyungsoo let himself be moved because, he, too, wanted his hyung to comfort him. Under the pouring rain, the two males held onto each other. One was crying, and the other was on the verge of breaking down. 

“I don't want you to go, hyung. I don't want you ever to leave me alone. It's not because I now know what it's like to have a true friend, but it's because I have become attached to you. I love having you around me. I love your company and silly stories about your little sister and family. I love how you go out of your way to bring me a different flavor of juice each morning. I love you, Jongin hyung, even if I'm a broken, abandoned soul, I know that I love you,” Kyungsoo's words were murmured into Jongin's ear as the rain fell upon them, drenching their entire forms. “I want to have you near me for as long as you allow me to be.”

A hand took a gentle hold of Kyungsoo's chin, thumb caressing the healing bruise under Kyungsoo's right eye. “Kyungsoo…why don't you stay at my house tonight? Don't go back to that hellhole please.”

For once in Kyungsoo's sad life, he agreed. 

" "

“I'm sorry you had to go through that every single day of your life, Kyungsoo,” Jongin sighed as he helped towel dry Kyungsoo's damp hair. “It must have been pure torture to having been getting yelled at for something you didn't do. I'm so sorry, Kyungsoo,” Jongin cried, bending down to place a soft kiss on the crown of Kyungsoo's head. “I'm sorry I wasn't around to help you when you were in need.”

Kyungsoo shook his head, a heavy blush settling on his cheeks. “It's okay, hyung…I wouldn't want to get near me either.”

He flinched when Jongin flicked him on the head. “Stop thinking so low of yourself, Kyungsoo,” he scolded him, lifting Kyungsoo's chin up to stare into his watery eyes. “Stop, please.”

Kyungsoo's eyes were wide and afraid. “I'm s-sorry, please don't hit m-me…” he sobbed openly, small whimpers leaving his throat. 

Jongin felt his heart drop and he picked up Kyungsoo only to bring him onto his lap. “I already told you that I would never hurt you, Kyungsoo,” he spoke slowly and softly, rubbing the younger’s back in slow comforting circles. Kyungsoo had long since dressed in Jongin's clothes, and although the younger had been hesitant in having Jongin see his bruised milky skin, Jongin only whispered reassurances that in his eyes, he was still perfect. 

They were snuggled under Jongin's warm covers, Kyungsoo had his face pressed into his hyung’s neck, inhaling his comforting scent. Kyungsoo felt safe here. “Hyung…”

Jongin hummed, caressing Kyungsoo's hair, occasionally kissing his forehead. “What is it?”

“I…thank you for taking me in and showing me that you care for me. Hyung, thank you for loving me even though I'm filled with scars and imperfections, even if I'm in everyone's mouth in school. Thank you for giving me the time of day. Thank you so much, Jongin hyung.” 

Warm lips were suddenly on Kyungsoo's. 

“I'll always be here to protect you from harm, Kyungsoo. I love you so much. I just want the best for you and I can't promise that everything will get better right away but in time things will change, but my love for you will never stop. Kyungsoo, will you be my boyfriend?”

Kyungsoo found himself nodding without a second thought, fingers gripping Jongin's shirt tightly to press their lips together again. “Please don't ever let me go, hyung. I don't want to live in my house anymore. Can't I live with you instead?”

“I'll talk to my mother later after dinner. But, Soo, you have to tell her that your parents are abusing you so that we can contact the police and you'll never have to see your parents ever again.” 

Jongin's touches were soft. They were comforting. They were all Kyungsoo wanted. 

“If I get to spend every day with you and be free from the chains strapped to my ankles, then I'll do it for you and myself.”

Soon enough, there were no more conversations happening in Jongin's bedroom. Jongin held his boyfriend close to his chest, keeping a secure arm around the younger’s waist. “Thank you for telling me your story, Kyungsoo. That was very brave of you to do something like that.”

Kyungsoo mumbled in his sleep, snuggling closer to Jongin’s chest where he let out a deep breath, his breathing slowing down once more. 

Jongin leaned down to kiss him on the forehead, but he met Kyungsoo's lips instead. “I love you, hyung,” the sleepy boy mumbled, a small smile forming on his lips before falling asleep again. 

Jongin smiled, closing his eyes to chase after Kyungsoo's giggling form in his dreams. “I love you, too, Kyungsoo.”

" "

At the end of those five months, Jongin and Kyungsoo were called up the front of the class to turn in their portfolios. Jongin's folder was black with only the name DOH KYUNGSOO in white, bold font. His folder seemed to be thick until Kyungsoo put down his red folder with the name KIM JONGIN in bold black letters. His folder seemed to be the thickest out of all of them. 

Those five months were the longest of them. The police were called to the school and Kyungsoo was sent to the principal's office sometime during the seventh month of being in school. Jongin's parents were there along with Kyungsoo's parents who had a murderous look in their eyes. Kyungsoo's mother and father were put in handcuffs and sent away. 

Kyungsoo couldn't stop crying, and it wasn't until he was in Jongin's arms that he finally stopped. It was hard for him to show the principal and police cuts and bruises marring his milky skin. It hurt even more when his mother passed by and muttered, “You should have died instead of Sehun,” before she was forcefully lead away. 

“It's going to be okay, Kyungsoo dear. My husband and I would like to adopt you to be our son after all of this are over.” Mrs. Kim gave the crying boy a small caress on his cheek as she leads him and Jongin out of the principal's office and towards their car. 

Kyungsoo finally got his happy ending, and he owed it all to Kim Jongin.  

" "
 

Wherever Kyungsoo went, people stood on the sidelines, always asked, “Who is that?”

And Jongin would always be around to answer for them. “That's my boyfriend, Kyungsoo, the one I love the most.”