Moonbyul's POV

As we're sitting at the table in a restaurant near the company our manager brought us to since this place is usually not so crowded, a soft sigh suddenly escapes from my lips.

It's not that I don't understand, but it still . When I confessed to Yongsun two years ago I expected us to finally be able to express ourselves free, not just testing the waters anymore to see if she really liked me back, no restrictions. I soon found out that that was more of a dream than reality. Coming out as a gay couple in South Korea is a huge taboo, but to top it of we're both idols in the same group. This couldn't only destroy the group, but also our whole lives, and that's not a risk I'm willing to take. Knowing this we had to set some rules for ourselves, mostly about limiting our physical contact to not make anyone suspicious, so that no one would find out about our relationship.

Third person's POV

Sublte touches, multiple glances during their Vlives, interviews and shows, giving little comments that most people wouldn't take serious,... That's as far as it ever got, in public at least. And even though they were both happy that the company even allowed all that instead of completely dismissing the idea of them going out, Moonbyul was slowly reaching her limit.

She didn't want to just sneak glances at Yongsun in secret anymore, she wanted to look at her, blatantly stare at her, at the beautiful person in front of her that she fell in love with. She didn't want to secretly hold her hand behind her back or under a table where no one could see it, she wanted to link their arms when walking in public, hold hands while walking on stage, walk with their hands intertwined as soon as they have the chance. Moonbyul was proud to have been able to capture the heart of that beautiful human being, and she wanted to let people know.

To let them know about how cute Yongsun is when she laughs shyly, the way the corners of turn up, smile widening, turning her dark brown eyes that Moonbyul loved so much into crescent moons, the eyes that made her feel proud when she saw herself reflected in them because she knew Yongsun would be looking at her.

Her white porcelain skin and soft cheeks, the mole near her eyebrow, her hair that looks so gorgeous when it's sunny outside, making golden highlights appear in her hair, golden strands that look like they are made out of the sun itself.

Her angelic voice, soft, gentle, like it's caressing Moonbyul by just listening to it. Her voice that calms Byul down when she feels bad by singing a song for her, her voice that she never wants to stop hearing.

She wanted to tell people about how lucky she was to have such an amazing person as a girlfriend that meant the world to her, but she was restricted from doing so.

Moonbyul was usually able to cope with it, as much as it hurts. She was happy with just being able to be near Yongsun and stand next to her, subly admiring the way she moves, the way she dances on stage, how her voice sounds in the microphone, to admire her sole existence. But those moments where Moonbyul was able to just quietly observe her and the moments of subtly holding each others hands or waist or subtly playing with each others hand were becoming less and less common.

More and more fans started to notice these little interactions between the two, some people even commented about it when they were doing their Yonkong Byulking Vlive, telling them to get married and kiss, which meant they had to be more careful.

Fans also started asking more questions about their "friendship" and what they thought about each other. Recently, someone even asked what they are to each other. The question itself isn't that weird when asked to two best friends, because they'd happily tell about their friendship, but Moonbyul couldn't tell the truth. She had to lie, even though she wanted people to know so badly. Moonbyul cleared and looked at the paper, at the box where she was supposed to fill in her answer. Maybe this is a good chance to see the reaction of our fans, she tought, as she wrote her answer down.

"Soulmate"

But Yongsun was more cautious. Moonbyul was one of the most important things in her life, and she didn't want to lose her no matter what. Not being able to be together anymore would be the death of her. She had to make sure people wouldn't get too suspicious so they could keep their relationship, even when it's just a secret, a behind-the-scenes relationship. She hesitantly wrote down her answer, "sister", convinced that it was the best thing to do and wouldn't make people question anything. She didn't expect how much it would hurt Byul. It might have looked funny to their fans, but Byul felt utterly crushed. She hated that she knew this was the best thing to answer in their case, but she secretly wished that Yongsun would have wrote down the truth on that meaningless paper.

It were those little things that pushed Moonbyul over the edge, to a point where she could no longer take it anymore.

The little things like when Moonbyul gave her a peck on her cheek as a congratulation and Yongsun made one of her signature grossed out faces, even though she normally actually loved it when Moonbyul did that.

The little things like when Yongsun was asked who she'd choose between Moonbyul and tteokbokki, and she chose the latter.

Moonbyul's POV

"Byulie-unnie are you okay? You've been spacing out for a while now." Wheein said, making me snap out of it as my thoughts suddenly got interrupted. I cleared my throat thinking of what to say.

"Ah, sorry. I have a small headache that's been bothering me for a while now, I think it's best if I already go home to rest a little bit." I announced, putting my jacket on. At that moment the waitress arrived at our table, putting down the dishes we ordered. Kimchi, jjajangbap, chicken, and tteokbokki for Yongsun. I looked at the manager with an apologizing look for leaving when the food has just arrived, earning an understanding nod from her. Luckily they bought the lie and didn't ask anything as I already felt the tears coming when I stepped out of the restaurant, unable to stop them. Little did I know that Yongsun was the only one that didn't buy it.

As soon as I arrived at the apartment where Yongsun and live and didn't hold the tears in anymore. Loud sobs and sniffing for all the residents of the complex to be heard, but I couldn't care less. I let myself fall on the bed, putting my face on the pillow while tightly holding Yongsun's little rainbow rice cake blanket in my hand.

When I finally sobbed less and the flowing of tears over my cheeks stopped I felt myself dozing off thanks to the exhausting from all the shows we've had to do this week, not noticing the pair of arms that gently wrapped around my body from behind, a warm breath on my neck as she put her face in the crook of my neck, making me relax a little.

"I know it's hard." She said with a soft voice, her breath tickling my ear. "I don't like it either but.. Please endure it for a little bit longer." I turned around so i could look in her eyes, not minding how puffy and red mine have gotten, my anxiety and pain completely fading away once she tenderly locked her soft pair of lips with mine.

"Did you leave your tteokbokki behind?" I asked after carefully breaking apart from the kiss. 

"Byul. I'd choose you over tteokbokki anytime, especially when I know that you're hurting like this." She whispered, brushing my bangs out of my eyes.

These are the little moments, that might look like nothing for someone else but mean so much to me, that make me realize how much this is worth fighting for and make me feel dumb for ever even forgetting about that. And even though it hurts, to the point of me ending up crying the whole night while she holds me in her arms, saying how much she loves me while caressing my face gently and planting kisses all over my face, intertwining our hands, as long as going on like this means that I can continue being with her I'm never going to give up on it.

I'll never give up on being with her.

A/N: I'm sorry that there was such an incredibly little amount of fluff and way more angst as usual, but I hope you guys like it! This is the third story I wrote in two days, my Moonsun and Sinrin hearteu is giving me lots of inspiration. Comments are greatly appreciated as always, if there's something you'd like to see changed don't hesitate to tell me! Sorry for any errors again or wrong tenses, I'm still not good at those. Thanks for reading!~