Three glasses of free champagne down and he’s waxing lyrical about Georgia O’Keeffe to a woman he’s never met before and is likely just humouring because of his pretty face. She gives up listening once his girlfriend comes back, slipping her arm through his and joining him in a comfortable silence in front of the painting.

“Eun Hee,” He says, addressing her. Hues and pigments swirl in front of his eyes and he struggles to articulate how it makes him feel. “Why do people say her paintings look like s? I can’t see it.” Is what he says instead, his bottom lip jutting out into a pout. Silky strands of hair drape down the side of her face and he moves to push it behind her ear.

“I think you’ve had enough to drink.” Is her response, laughing as she says it. Her eyes twinkle as the corners of pull up into a smile and her laugh is music to his ears. Soft jazz accompanies them in the background, melting into the soft hum of people’s conversations and the clinks of champagne glasses. They’re at the opening of Georgia O’Keeffe’s latest exhibitions, one of his favourite artists.

“Eun Hee! Seunghyun!” He hears from behind, breaking his reverie in front of the painting. Feeling the clap of a hand on his back a second later, he is greeted by Soo Hyuk, Jiyong tagging along behind him. Seunghyun’s stomach does a somersault, after having managed to push Jiyong and his lips to the deep, deep recesses of his mind for a good few weeks. His girlfriend and Soo Hyuk catch up as he looks at his nails, fixated on a dry bit of skin hanging off his thumbnail.

Heat floods his body and he starts to sweat, beads of perspiration forming on his forehead and making his hands clammy against his cold champagne glass. The irrational part of his mind is surprised his girlfriend hasn’t caught on yet, it seems so obvious to him, but the other two carry on their conversation as if Seunghyun isn’t dying beside them. Soft voices from conversations in the background overload his senses and suddenly he really needs some fresh air and just to get away  from these ing paintings.

Georgia O’Keeffe. Overrated.

“I don’t think you’ve met Jiyong yet, right?” Soo Hyuk’s voice penetrates his consciousness and brings his thoughts back into the room. He’s addressing his girlfriend, who offers a warm smile to Jiyong. Jiyong looks up from the floor in a flash, lost in his thoughts just as much as Seunghyun.

“He’s such a fan of Georgia O’Keffe, I had to bring him. Not surprised to see you guys here too.”

“Jiyong? I’m Eun Hee, lovely to meet you.” She leans forward to kiss him on the cheek. He can’t breathe, convinced somehow she will smell him on Jiyong. “Seunghyun is a huge fan too. You just caught us discussing the l side to her paintings.” He chokes on air as Jiyong offers a small chuckle. “Come, there’s one the gallery just acquired that you really must see.” She says, taking Jiyong’s arm and leading him away. Black silk cascades down her body as she moves and her heels put arches into her legs, she’s the epitome of elegance. But he finds his gaze being dragged away from her legs, up to the soft arch in Jiyong’s eyebrows and the way his black hair seems to fall perfectly into place.

It’s just him and Soo Hyuk, now. Him, Soo Hyuk and a giant elephant in the room that he’s pretty sure only he can sense.

“This is our 5 th date, can you believe?” He says. Seunghyun really doesn’t want to talk about this. “5 th date and I haven’t slept with him yet.” Buttons strain on his shirt as he puffs out his chest in pride. “I really like this one, Seunghyun.” Sincerity is written all over Soo Hyuk’s face and, despite his previous endeavours, Seunghyun believes him. “He’s great, exciting and kind and so, so sweet.” Soo Hyuk carries on, uninvited. He knows how Soo Hyuk feels; when he first fell for his girlfriend he couldn’t stop talking about her. Would almost pull strangers over in the street to proclaim his love for her. She jokes now that paintings have taken her place in his heart.

He still hasn’t spoken, too wrapped in his own thoughts to articulate anything. But the look on Soo Hyuk’s face sobers him up a little bit, rationalises his thoughts. He’s drunk, and the alcohol in his body is blowing this all out of proportion. That he’s sure of. So he necks back the rest of his champagne in one swift move and in the same heartbeat pushes away the doubts at the back of his mind; the tiny voice screaming that Jiyong is an , an who has kissed him twice.

“Good, I’m glad you’ve found some one like that.” He finally says, champagne coursing through his veins. Across the room he spots his girlfriend and Jiyong, their laughs dancing around the room and drawing everyone’s gaze to them. He feels the familiar pride swell in his chest, staring at his girlfriend. He was definitely blowing things out of proportion. 

Over the weeks, Jiyong becomes a regular fixture when he and his friends meet up. It’s good; like Soo Hyuk said, Jiyong is exciting. Exciting and gentle all at the same time. They have a very similar sense of humour, and slowly he finds himself turning to Jiyong after making a joke, eager to see a smile spread across his face and watch his hands fling up to cover it. One time, after a lot of alcohol, he pulls Jiyong’s hands away from his face. He vaguely remembers telling Jiyong to stop hiding his smile, and more clearly remembers the sour look on Soo Hyuk’s face as he did so. The next morning he wakes up to a text from Soo Hyuk, saying that they finally slept together. He swallows hard, not sure if the bile he tastes was from all the alcohol in his system or not.

In his spare time, Jiyong was in a band. Somehow, Soo Hyuk managed to drag him along to brunch so he wouldn’t have to meet Jiyong’s band members for the first time alone. He wasn’t sure what he was expecting; the band itself had gone through about 40 names and were currently under the name of ‘Angelina Brolie’, usually playing at gay bars and gay weddings (‘Gay for Johnny Depp’ was Seunghyun’s favourite of their names). But it wasn’t this.

One of them has hair covering his eyes (Seunghyun could swear the bowl cut hadn’t been popular since the 70s), the other bright platinum locks, and the last is decked out like a soft rocker on the cover of a Rolling Stones magazine. In short, he feels woefully uncool next to them all. It is nice, though, even if he finds himself talking to them much more than Soo Hyuk does. All being in the creative industry, they have a lot of jokes and stories to exchange. 

While the others were busy discussing their upcoming gig, he turns to Soo Hyuk, sitting in silence for most of the meal.

“So, meeting his friends huh? That’s pretty serious.” He whispers. Soo Hyuk shrugs in response, surprising him.

“You know how it is.” Soo Hyuk whispers back. He's not sure he knows.

Drawing them back into the conversation, Youngbae (the soft rocker) addresses him.

“Ji said your flat is beautiful, by the way.” There’s a brief pause while Seunghyun tries to work out who ‘Ji’ is. “Could you give me some tips for decorating, by any chance? My girlfriend’s moving in soon, I really want to make it special for her.”

Seungri interrupts with a whipping noise, blond hair throwing itself back and forth with his movements.

“Youngbae is totally besotted. It’s gross, actually.” He says, receiving a smack from Youngbae. They’re all laughing, watching Seungri and Youngae exchange blows back and forth, until;

“Jiyong, when did you go to Seunghyun’s?” Soo Hyuk asks. If they were in a film, this is when the record-scratch sound effect would play. They all freeze, Jiyong’s fork halfway to his mouth and Daesung’s hand in the middle of sweeping hair out of his eyes. All aware that everyone at the table new full well why Jiyong was at Seunghyun’s flat, everyone except Soo Hyuk. A blush creeps across Jiyong’s face and he wipes a napkin across his mouth, stalling for time.

There’s a long pause, in which the sound of other diners fills the silence. 

“He came over to have a look at the Geogia O’Keeffe replica we have, the lily one.” Seunghyun interjects. It’s a ty excuse, but Soo Hyuk accepts it with a shrug. Seunghyun is left wondering why he just lied to his best friend.

He’s been spending a lot more time with his friends, recently. Throwing himself into social situations when usually he would try to make any excuse to get out of them. Dong Hwi joked that Eun Hee had finally let him off his ball and chain, but he didn’t know how close he was to hitting to truth. She was a career woman, which was partly what made him love her so much. Determination and ambition were second nature to her and when she set her sights on something she was unstoppable. But her late nights at the art gallery had increased, and he's begun to feel more and more like a disillusioned house wife from the 60s. Drinking wine alone every evening, leaving dinner for her in Tupperware boxes.

But they’re out for their 3rd anniversary and all it takes is one glass of wine and her smile shining back at him for him to forgive her for her absentness. It’s her favourite restaurant, paired with her favourite vintage Sauvignon Blanc. Silver stars adorn the tie he’s wearing tonight, a present from her on their first anniversary, and the plunge of her dress makes him want to take it off there and then.

The restaurant is busy, but there is no mistaking the laugh that makes it’s way across the room during a lull in the conversation. Craning his neck to look around his girlfriend, he spots Jiyong. He spots Jiyong with a much, much, older man. Instantly recognizing the situation, he adverts his gaze, but not before Eun Hee has caught on. She spins around, only to spin right back again to face him a second later.

“Is that Jiyong?!” She whispers. He could play dumb. But he’s too stupid to play dumb.

“Yeah, I think he’s here with his dad.” He says. Every bone in his body is trying to be nonchalant right now. Lying to the people closest to him is getting to be a habit where Jiyong is concerned, a habit he doesn’t enjoy.

“That’s nice.” Eun Hee says, leaving it at that. He feels the weight of a thousand suns lift off his shoulders, and the rest of the meal goes without a hitch. That is until Jiyong, clearly unaware of their presence, makes his way over to the toilet. Seunghyun is more than happy to let him carry on with his business, but Eun Hee reaches out an arm.

“Jiyong!” Her hand grips the lapels of his jacket and stops him in his tracks. Red nail polish contrasts with the black of his suit as she smiles up at him. “Are you here with your father?”

“Y-yes.” Jiyong stutters, flashing a glance at Seunghyun, who tries to convey through their eye contact just how uncomfortable this situation is making him.

“Ok, I’ll let you get on. But you must promise me that you and Soo Hyuk will come round for dinner sometime soon! I haven’t seen you in ages.” She says, flashing a winning smile at Jiyong. A brief stab of annoyance comes, annoyance that she has time for Jiyong and Soo Hyuk but apparently no time for him. But he’s worried he’s becoming like a petulant child, so he pushes the thoughts away.

Jiyong stays true to the promise, bringing Soo Hyuk round for dinner later that week. Seunghyun makes ramen, the way Eun Hee likes it and pulls out the bottles of wine he was saving for a special occasion. The conversation flows, which is a relief because the second they stepped through his front door all Seunghyun could think of was the first time Jiyong was in his flat. The memory of wet lips on his and hands gripping his shirt threatens to burn a hole in his brain. He’s burning to ask Jiyong about the other night, about the fact that he’s clearly still an , but refrains from doing so. Exercises restraint when it comes to the wine because a drunk Seunghyun is a loose-lipped Seunghyun. Soo Hyuk on the other hand, dives into the wine. He drinks so fast that Seunghyun has to get another bottle out before they’ve even finished their meal, feeling a stab of regret that it’s ruined his carefully chosen pairing of wine and food.

They’re having a cigarette on the balcony after eating, him and Soo Hyuk. Companionable silence sits in between them as they take drag after drag, and an orange glow fills the sky; a by product of London’s light pollution.

“I want to see the stars.” Soo Hyuk mumbles, echoing Seunghun’s thoughts and drawing his attention back to him. “Xin has been messaging me again.” He says next, looking pointedly down at his phone and anywhere but Seunghyun. Anger bubbles in Seunghyun’s chest; he knows what this means for the other man.

“Ignore him.” Seunghyun all but snarls. “You have a good thing going with Jiyong, don’t ruin it by going back to that arsehole again.” His friend sighs as if to say it isn’t that easy, but Seunghyun doesn’t let him go. Too many nights he’s spent looking after a sobbing Soo Hyuk after Xin chucked him out.

“Seriously, Soo Hyuk. Don’t do this again.” 

Soo Hyuk hums his assent, turning his back on Seunghyun and walking back into the flat. Ash from Seunghyun’s cigarette drops onto his jeans, but he’s too fixed on his friend to notice.