"Sehun, I just don't know what to do anymore." 

"What do you mean?"

"Jongin, he's just... he's been ridiculous lately."

"When is he not?" 

"Sehun, seriously. He didn't come home for an entire day, and throughout that entire time, he cut off all contact with me. The last thing he said to me before that was asking me to leave. When he finally came back his excuse was Kyungsoo. I mean, I get that he wanted to grieve, but come on. I don't understand why he acted the way he did. It was like he suddenly hated me. And then when he apologized he just gave me more excuses. He just kept saying I don't understand, and that he couldn't help me to. It's so frustrating."

"I was being serious. But I get what you mean. Jongin is like a little kid sometimes; he acts unreasonably and refuses to communicate. There's not much anyone can do about it." 

"I guess so. But still. I can't do this, I feel like he barely even cares about me. It seems like our relationship has been on a downhill for a while now... I just don't want to get hurt or to hurt him."

"Then leave him?" 

"I can't, Sehun. I'm really in trouble here, I don't usually fall this fast, but I think I'm in love with him. I don't know what to do. At the moment, it would probably hurt me more than him if I left. 

"Oh." 

"But I think maybe I should, you know?" 

"I guess?"

"It's probably better. I'm tired of being thrown out by people I love. Minho threw me out, and now Jongin's throwing me out, and I really think I should just leave before it gets any worse. But I don't want to." 

"See, this is why you should've dated me." 

"I didn't have any interest in you, nor will I ever, Sehun. If you're not going to be helpful, then I'm going to end this conversation right here." 

"No, no, no, don't. I'm sorry. Here's what I think you should do; leave him, but not actually." 

"What?"

"Do you have anywhere you could stay for a week or so?"

"Yeah..."

"Okay, so, you go stay there for a few days or however long, and during that time, cut off all contact with Jongin. That way, you're not actually leaving him, but you're still taking a break of sorts. And then when you're ready, or Jongin eventually finds you and comes crawling back, having realized what he's done, you two can work things out." 

"I don't know about that..." 

"Why not?"

"I'm just not sure if it's a good idea. Jongin's really busy, too, and what if something happens because I'm not there to look out for him? I'm not sure, Sehun." 

"Jongin will be fine. He was fine on his own for two years before you came along, he can make it on his own again for a little bit. Just trust me, okay? This'll work." 

"If you say so." 

*****

When Taemin came home, ready to put Sehun's idea into action, Jongin was standing in the living room, looking distraught. Taemin tried to keep his expression neutral, not wanting to give away how he really felt about what he was about to do.

"You're back! Where were you? Do you even know how worried-" Jongin gushed, but stopped short as he looked at Taemin. 

Taemin gazed at Jongin coolly, hoping his expression was completely blank. 

"Oh, so now you do actually care about me?" 

Jongin's face filled with confusion, but Taemin didn't offer an explanation. 

"I only came to get some stuff. I'm going to stay with my brother for a few days." 

"What?" 

"You heard me. I'll be out of your way in less than five minutes, alright?" Taemin brushed past Jongin, heading into the bedroom. Inside, he gathered most of his things, trying not to cry. He had a bad feeling about this, and yet, here he was, about to do it anyway. He finished up, then went back out to the living room, heading for the door. He stopped in the doorway, looking at Jongin again. 

"When will you be back?" Jongin asked, looking nervous. Taemin didn't want to do this. He couldn't. But he had to, didn't he? He knew that if he didn't leave right now, he wouldn't be able to go through with Sehun's plan. 

"A few days." 

And then he was gone, leaving Jongin behind, hoping that everything would work out just like Sehun had said it would. 

*****

A week at his brother's house, and he hadn't talked to Jongin at all. But he did get a call from Sehun, informing him that Jongin was struggling to realize that Taemin was fed up. According to Sehun, he was positive that Taemin wouldn't actually leave him. While that wasn't necessarily untrue, Taemin couldn't help but to be irritated by the fact that Jongin was so sure about it. Was Jongin really taking him for granted like that? It seemed so. 

Sehun didn't say much else, except that he'd gone off on Jongin and was now planning on taking his own 'break' from him. As much as Taemin tried to insist that they couldn't do this, that Jongin needed at least one of them there for him, Sehun argued against it and refused to rethink his decision. When Taemin said he'd go back to Jongin, Sehun of course, argued against that as well. He managed to convince Taemin to wait another week, but Taemin wasn't happy about it. He couldn't help but to worry. He just wanted to be back with Jongin now, not in a week, not in two weeks, now.

Not to mention, his birthday was next week. 

*****

Taemin's birthday had fallen on a Friday, and while he would much rather have just stayed at home with his brother -- maybe finally called Jongin, even though Sehun would be pissed -- he found himself going out for drinks with his friends. Despite not having much desire to go out, he soon found that he was enjoying himself, happy to be surrounded by friends that he didn't see much anymore since they'd all grown up and gotten lives of their own. 

At some point, the majority of his friends got up, disappearing to some other area of the bar, most likely to get more drinks. Only he and Jonghyun were left, sitting together comfortably. Taemin eyed the shot glass in his hand, then leaned closer to Jonghyun to be heard over the noise of the bar. 

"Thanks for getting everyone together, this is great." 

Jonghyun just smiled in response as Taemin took the shot he'd been holding. 

"I'm glad you're having a good time, it's your birthday, after all." 

Taemin nodded in acknowledgement, but his attention had been dragged away by the familiar figure stumbling out of the bar. 

"Uh, I'll be right back," he murmured, suddenly standing up. He headed to the bar entrance, ignoring Jonghyun's questioning look. He made it outside, looking around. Jongin was leaning on the bar wall just to the right of the door. 

"Jongin?"

"Taemin, don't." Jongin had his eyes trained on the ground. 

"Don't what? Are you okay?" Concern filled Taemin, he knew he shouldn't have left Jongin alone for so long, this was all Sehun's fault...

"No," Jongin paused before continuing, "I was feeling like already, but then I walked in there and saw you ing cheating on me." He spat.

"What?" Taemin's concern turned to confusion as he tried to comprehend what his boyfriend could possibly mean.

"Don't pretend you're innocent, I saw you with him! Who is he, is he really that much better than I am? How long have you been seeing him? I bet it was the whole time. Was he just a side thing at first, and then you decided to go live with him instead of me?" Jongin laughed bitterly, finally looking at Taemin. 

"I really don't know what's gotten into you lately, Jongin, I don't-"  

"You haven't even been around lately! You haven't had any contact with me in two weeks, and now I know why, it's because you're a ing cheater!"

That was it. Taemin had had enough. Unadulturated rage coursed through his veins, and he had to take a moment to think about what he was going to say next. Jongin stood up straighter against the wall, looking nervous. Good, Taemin thought, He should be.

"Do you really think I would do that?" His voice was dangerously low, and so quiet that he wasn't even sure if Jongin could hear it. "You really think so lowly of me that you'd accuse me of something like that, I see. Tell me, Jongin, do I seem at all like the type of person to be disloyal?" 

Jongin swallowed. Taemin didn't expect an answer, so he continued,

"Did it maybe occur to you that I might be out with my friends? And that, just maybe, like most other people, I show affection for my friends? I don't know exactly what you saw, but I know for sure that you're dead wrong. Not to mention, all of the people I was in there with are taken."

"How am I supposed to know that any one of them isn't cheating on their partner with you?" 

"Jongin, can you maybe show a little trust in me and the people I'm around? Do you want me to be unfaithful or something? I can't believe you would even think that I, of all people, would cheat." Taemin didn't realize it, but his voice had risen as he was speaking, and he was nearly yelling now. "Why the hell would you think that? What if you were in this situation with Kyungsoo, huh? Would you accuse him of cheating?" 

"Shut up, would you?" Jongin's voice was harsh. "If you're not going to tell the truth then just don't say anything. I don't want your bull lies." 

Taemin didn't mean to, but suddenly, he started to cry. He bent over, crouching on the ground right where he was, hiding his face in his palms. He really couldn't do this anymore. He hadn't even done anything. It was the first time he'd seen his boyfriend in two weeks, and what does Jongin do? He ing accuses him of cheating, when he knows full well that Taemin would absolutely never do such a thing. It was his birthday for 's sake. But he doubted that Jongin had even remembered, which made it even worse. 

"Why're you crying? Are you about to be honest with me?"  Jongin's voice was hard.

"Because I'm tired, Jongin. I'm give up. I'm done." 

"What's that supposed to mean?" 

"I'm going back inside." Taemin stood, swiping at his eyes. He'd briefly gotten ahold of himself, but he desperately needed to get back inside before he fell apart completely. He left before Jongin could say or do anything more, disappearing back inside the bar. 

He headed straight for the restroom, praying that nobody else was using it at the moment. He barged through the door, locking himself in the nearest stall, already a complete mess. Just seconds after he'd shut himself inside, there was a knock on the stall door. 

"Taemin?" It was Kibum, Jonghyun's fiancé. "What's going on, are you okay?" 

Unable to pull himself together enough to respond, Taemin unlocked the stall door. It slowly swung open to reveal both Kibum and Jonghyun's concerned faces. 

"Oh God, Taemin, what's wrong?" Jonghyun's eyes widened as he took in Taemin's tear-stained face. He still couldn't answer, so he just shook his head, turning away from the two men standing outside. "Come on, talk to us."

Taemin nodded, but took a moment to respond, wanting to regain at least a little bit of control over the tears that wouldn't stop coming.

"It's... well, I told you guys about Jongin, right? My boyfriend? We're just going through a rough time right now, and I just ran into him. As you can guess, it didn't go well." 

"What the hell? Doesn't he know it's your birthday?" Kibum sounded aghast. Taemin shook his head. 

"I don't really want to talk about it," he said, wiping his eyes. "But I can't stop crying..." 

Kibum and Jonghyun entered the small stall, both trying in their own way to comfort Taemin, but as much as they tried, it didn't work. The more he tried to piece himself together, the more he fell apart, the more his heart shattered. He knew what he had to do now, but he didn't want to do it, and he wasn't even sure if he could. He really did love him, how would he ever leave him?

Rather regretfully, Taemin noted that sobbing into the arms of his friends in a cramped bar bathroom was definitely not the way he'd wanted to spend his birthday. 

*****

After much deliberation, and talking to both Sehun and his brother, Taemin came to his final decision. He'd actually leave Jongin. Even the thought of it pained him, he had no idea how he'd actually do it. With shaking hands, he typed out a text message to Jongin, the last one he'd probably ever send his soon-to-be ex,

He bit his lip in apprehension as he attached his address to the text. He had no idea when Jongin would see it, or if Jongin would even show up. He could only hope. After a few minutes of standing in the kitchen and trying not to fall apart, he finally snapped out of his thoughts. 

"Jinki?" He called.

"Yeah?" His brother answered, appearing in the kitchen doorway. 

"I sent the text. If he comes, you'll go out, right?" 

"Of course. Good luck." 

"Thanks." Taemin passed his brother, heading into the living room. 

Only a few minutes had passed by when the doorbell rang. Surprised at how fast Jongin had come, Taemin headed into the mudroom, answering the door.

"You actually came..." He breathed. 

"Yeah." Jongin shifted uncomfortably. Taemin let him in, closing the door softly behind him. 

"Taemin, did you get the-" Jinki appeared from the living room, stopping short when he saw Jongin. "-Oh. I-uh, I'll go out, give you two some space." He quickly brushed past them, heading straight for the door. Once the other man had left, Taemin felt it necessary to tell Jongin, 

"That's my brother, if you couldn't guess," He sounded bitter, but he didn't care. He was bitter. "Come on, we'll talk in the living room." Taemin turned and began walking back into the living room, leaving Jongin to follow. 

The room was small but cozy, a large corner couch taking up most of the space. Taemin motioned for Jongin to sit, but remained standing. Jongin did the same instead of sitting, looking rather nervous.

"So."

"So."

"Jongin, I don't even know where to begin," Taemin ran a hand through his hair. How was he suppose to do this? "I don't think I can do this anymore. I've been trying to make it work, but I don't think you want to even try. At least, you haven't been acting like you do. I really care about you and want to be with you, but you don't seem to feel the same. I-"

"-What are you saying?" 

"I'm saying that I think we need to take a break." Taemin bit his lip, looking at the floor. The words hurt to say, and he knew that if he looked at Jongin now, he'd completely fall apart. It was hard enough to keep it together as it was. 

"What? Why?" Jongin sounded panicked. 

"You're not ready yet, I think we should have waited to get together or-" 

"-Is it because you really are cheating? Or you want to be with someone else?"

"Would you stop with that!" Taemin yelled, furiously blinking back the tears threatening to spill over. He was so angry, but more than that he was heartbroken. Why couldn't Jongin trust him? Why couldn't Jongin love him? He was at his breaking point, and still, Jongin was trying to push him even farther, because he couldn't even recognize the fact that Taemin was hurting. "You're so ing blind to everything, Jongin, I swear. You can't even take a step back and actually look at situations or think rationally. Hell, you can't even trust me, even though I've proven to you over and over again that you can. Do I really seem like the type of person who would go out and do something like that? Me? Admit it, if there was some way for you to be with him again you wouldn't even think twice about leaving me, so don't go around accusing me of something you know I'd never do."

"Taemin..." 

"Don't. I don't want to hear it. Like I said, you're not ready yet. You're too stuck in the past to focus on what you have here right now. So let's take a break, give each other some space. And if in a little while we both want to try again, then we'll try again. I just don't think we should stay together right now, this isn't healthy."

There was silence, and Taemin was suddenly afraid that Jongin would get angry. That was the last thing he wanted, but he didn't know how Jongin would react. Taemin loved him so, so much, but it seemed that Jongin didn't even know. That, or he didn't care. Either way, their relationship wasn't working, and they couldn't go on like this. Taemin had to leave, he just hoped Jongin would accept that fact and not make it a messy breakup. 

"I'm sorry," Jongin finally said, but his voice came out as nearly a whisper, so quiet that Taemin had to strain to hear it. Jongin said it louder, walking towards him and pulling him into an embrace. "I'm sorry." 

For a few moments, Taemin struggled weakly against Jongin's arms, wanting to be far, far away from the other, but he soon gave up. This was it, he couldn't keep himself together anymore. He rested his head on Jongin's shoulder, trying to hide the tears that were now streaming freely down his face. 

Jongin continued speaking. 

"I'm sorry. I know I ed up. I don't know exactly how to fix it, but please don't leave."

To Taemin's surprise, Jongin's voice grew thick with sorrow, and it sounded like he, too, was crying. 

"Please. I know I'm a horrible person, but please. I care about you so much, and I'm stupid for not showing you that. You deserve so much better, but please don't leave me. Please Taemin, we can still fix this."

"Can we? If we do, you can't do this again, I can't take this again. Jongin, I'm serious. If you want to stay together we can't let things get this bad again. Please don't make me regret not walking out now." Taemin already knew he'd regret not leaving now, but Jongin had made him hopeful that maybe things didn't have to end here. He knew they should, but he wanted so badly to stay, just because of the possibility that maybe it could still work out. He didn't want to get hurt any more, but he no longer knew what would hurt more; leaving or staying. 

"I won't, I promise. I'm so sorry..." 

"I am too. I don't want to leave you, I'm just trying to look out for us both."

"I know, but you can trust me when I say it'll be different from now on. Just please stay." 

Taemin was silent for a minute. He'd already been convinced. He loved Jongin too much for his own good, but he swore to himself that if this happened again, he'd leave no matter what. But for now, he'd give Jongin a second chance. 

"Okay." Taemin answered, sighing heavily. They stood there for a while, saying nothing, before Taemin pulled back, looking at Jongin's face.

"You're crying." 

"So are you." Jongin reached up, wiping away Taemin's tears. Taemin smiled faintly, reaching up to to do the same for his boyfriend.

"I guess I am." 

"We're a mess," 

"You're right about that," Taemin agreed. "We have a lot of work to do." He looked closer at Jongin. "You look tired. When do you have to go back to work?" 

"I have a shift at three thirty." 

"It's half past ten now... you should probably go home." 

"You're not coming?"

Taemin wanted nothing more than to go home, but he knew that for now, their relationship probably needed some space. He really didn't want to tell Jongin that. He removed his hands from Jongin's face, wrapping his arms around himself nervously. 

"I'm not. I want to, and I will eventually, but I feel like for now, at least, we need a little distance." Seeing the expression on Jongin's face, he quickly continued. "It won't be for long, I promise. Just because right now we're just trying to put everything back together, so... how do I put this? While we're still working out the bigger issues in our relationship, it's probably better for us to be apart instead of constantly being in each other's space." 

Jongin nodded in agreement, looking uncomfortable with the idea, but didn't protest.

"So... yeah. I'm glad we're working this out. Now go home and get some sleep. Call me when your shift ends, okay?" Taemin was so glad that they were trying again. If he had ended up leaving, he already knew that he'd have never seen Jongin again, and he didn't want that. But deep down, he still felt unsure that staying with Jongin was a good idea.

"Okay. Me too, I'm glad we're working it out, I missed you." 

Taemin smiled, and Jongin pulled away from him, walking back to the front door. They said their goodbyes, and then Taemin found himself standing in the mudroom alone, trying to reassure himself that he'd made the right decision. 

*****

Jinki came back not long after Jongin had left, nearly walking straight into Taemin - who was still in the mudroom - when he opened the door. 

"So, how'd it go?" He asked, expression full of sympathy. 

"I don't know." Taemin said absently, voice hollow.

"What do you mean?" 

"I really don't know, Jinki. We're still together." 

"Oh. Are you sure that's a good choice?"

"I don't know. I hope so," Taemin shrugged, turning away from his brother to leave the mudroom. "I think I'm gonna go to bed now, goodnight."

"I hope so too. Goodnight, Taemin." 

But Taemin barely even heard Jinki as he walked upstairs, already deep in thought about the events that had occurred over the past hour.

*****

A few minutes before his alarm usually went off, Taemin awoke to the sound of his phone buzzing. Groggily, he sat up, answering it. 

"Hello?"

"Hey," Jongin's tired voice greeted him. "Did I wake you up? Sorry." 

"It's fine, I had to wake up soon anyway. So your shift's over?"

"Yeah, thankfully. It's been really busy in there lately, I'm not sure why. More people doing stupid stuff and getting hurt, I guess. I don't even know, it's just really exhausting. I actually have to go back in at eleven for another shift."

"But that gives you barely any time, that's crazy! It's like seven thirty right now, how do they expect you to get any rest?" Taemin couldn't believe they were working Jongin so hard. But, he supposed, a small break was probably better than none at all. 

"They probably don't. But anyway, you have work soon, right? If you want, we could meet when you get out? My shift finishes just a little before your job does." Jongin sounded hopeful, and Taemin couldn't help but to smile at the fact that Jongin wanted to see him. 

"Sure. Your apartment is pretty close to my job, do you want me to just come there?" 

"Yeah, that sounds good. So I'll see you then?" 

"Yep. Now go get some rest, you don't have a lot of time." 

"Okay."

"Oh yeah, Jongin? I wouldn't do it now because of the time, but at some point you should call Sehun. You guys had an argument, didn't you?" 

"Yeah, we did... I'll give him a call soon."

"Good. I'm gonna go now, I'll see you later."

"Bye, Taemin."

He was still smiling when he hung up the phone. Maybe he had made the right decision. 

________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

A/N 

So this was just something to thank everyone for supporting Anew so far, and for sticking with it even though I haven't been updating all that regularly lately <3 Thank you all so much!! I really appreciate it :D

Thanks for reading! <3

-H