“Let go.” I swayed a little as I tried to pull my hand away. He gripped on still, and I was slowly getting annoyed. I tugged my hand harder, trying to twist myself from his tightening grasp when he realised what I was doing. My vision was slowly going dizzy. A while later, I heard a scream and I out.

I awoke to white lights shining ahead, and my eyes narrowed. Twisting myself to the side, I groaned a little as my body ached. What had happened?

I was laughing, a drink in my hand. My other hand held a bunch of colourful pills and I happily chugged them down-

“Seokjin?” A voice interrupted. I looked up to see a pale guy. He was looking quite dashing with his black hair, except that it was..long? I giggled a little, amused by the ridiculous situation. I must be hallucinating again..

“Yah Yoongi, stop this.” I shouted as I spotted him rummaging through my drawers, as if he was searching for something. A while later, he emerged victorious with a packet of pink pills. I tried to snatch it back but he was faster. I growled in frustration and he was yelling something. “Seokjin can’t you stop this?” The desperation was evident in his tone.

“Seokjin?” Another voice repeated. Ah, a doctor. I looked up to her and tentatively smiled. “Hello.” I cheerfully greeted. “Who is he?” I pointed to the guy standing there still. The guy just looked on, shell shocked. He stumbled a little as he hurriedly left.

“Is he secretly a girl that dresses as a guy?” I asked the doctor. She sighed as she jotted down a few more notes. “No dear. It’s his job.”

“Why are you doing this?” I asked as he shrugged on the clothes. “Money.” he simply said and flashed a pained smile. “At least you can be normal, so I would gladly sacrifice myself.” He quickly pecked my cheek and slipped out of the door. I sighed and sat down on the couch. Why am I so useless? Why can’t I help him and myself?

I looked back at her, eyes wide. “There’s such a thing?” I dramatically gasped, holding my hand on my chest. The doctor sighed once again as she tapped a few times on her phone. “Yes dear, he did it. All for you, don’t you know?”

I bit my lips as I saw him being d by men and women, cooing over how adorable he was. His eyes were dead as his mouth came up with endless sweet compliments. He was trying his best to not lash out at those customers, because they gave him money. Money that could keep Seokjin and him living in peace. He just laid still as they did abuse to his battered and torn body, his soul only kept sane at the thought of Seokjin.

“I..I don’t remember.” I stuttered, grabbing my head. The doctor panicked when she saw Seokjin in pain, and quickly pressed the button before running out. She saw Yoongi near one of the exits and she slowly walked towards him. He didn’t know that she had approached, as he had been lost in his own world.

“Seokjin.” Yoongi mumbled, snaking his hands around Seokjin’s waist. “Hello my adorable little..girl..?” He said, confused as he saw Yoongi with long hair. “Ah, I forgot about this.” He nervously chuckled, taking off the wig and chucking it aside on the table. Seokjin looked at him with confused eyes. Yoongi just avoided his gaze and buried his head into the crook of Seokjin’s neck. “Don’t ask, okay?” He mumbled. He can’t know yet, of what I’m doing to help him..

“Miss..?” A soft voice brought him out of his thoughts. “It’s mister..” He trailed off, standing up. He felt embarrassed to be out walking like this, but he had ran here in a state of panic when he heard Seokjin was in the hospital. The doctor giggled. “I know.” she replied. Yoongi fumbled with his fingers as he looked down, his mind fumbling with a reply. “It’s okay. Oppa will be fine.” Yoongi’s head shot up, his eyes wide. “I’m his sister..” She explained, when Yoongi’s stare was slowly growing uncomfortable. Yoongi awkwardly chuckled when he realised where his thoughts had went. Stupid me..

The first night is always the worse, they told him. He didn’t believe it until he got d in his fake s. Flinching at the contact, he stared up at the man before him. His eyes screamed lust, and he his dry lips. “You’re mine tonight..” he whispered. After that, Yoongi never got through his work nights sober again. Intoxication was better, because it could erase how filthy his body got from all the contact.

Tears fell as he trembled. He slipped down and fell to the floor. “Where are you going? You got customers lining up for you, idiot!” His manager shouted after him. He could not care less. Seokjin was in the hospital, for ’s sake. He quickly changed out of his work clothes and threw on his own before rushing out. When he reached, he frantically went to the main desk. “Give me Kim Seokjin’s room number.” he calmly said as the receptionist pulled out details. “210. You’re his..” But Yoongi was gone, in a mad frenzy to find Seokjin. Please be alright..

But he wasn’t. He doesn't remember me..

“Yoongi sshi. Oppa will be fine. It’s just a temporary memory loss caused when he tried to drown himself in drugs and water.” The doctor sniffled as she said. Yoongi just blankly stared at the floor. He felt so lost, and so vulnerable. Kim Seokjin had broken down his walls with his silly smiles and bad jokes, but what kind of love had he gotten from him? Nothing but sacrifices on his side, and his sanity shredded to nearly nothing.

Is it time to let go? Yet I still love him... Do I?