"Faster! Come on, you can be faster than that! Are you tired? Huh, Kang? Are you tired?? Come on! Swim! Swim!"

Her arms go as fast as they can. Her entire being is burning, muscles begging her to stop, and not even the cold water can help set out the fire. But Kyungwon keeps on going, her eyes focusing on the other side of the pool.

She turns and takes impulse. Kyungwon can feel her legs numbing out but she won't stop. Not right now, not when her coach is staring, expecting the best from her. She dives head on to it, trying to not be greedy with catching her breath, reaching for the other end.

Her fingers touch the tiles and a whistle rings in her ears as her lungs burn for an endless source of air. Kyungwon feels slight confusion as she pushes down the swimming goggles and looks around.

"Better, Kang. But you can do more." He says simply, and walks away from the pool.

Kyungwon sighs and brushes droplets of water from her face, exhausted to hell and back. She takes a second to cool off, removing her cap and diving down once again, but without the pressure of time pushing her almost over the edge.

As she resurfaces, a familiar figure turns up, arms crossed over her chest and a smirk drawn on lips.

"'You can do more' again, huh." Minkyung makes full use of her sarcastic air quotes, laughing when she sees Kyungwon is clearly huffing in distaste. "When are you gonna stop letting him push you around for his golden trophy?"

She doesn't answer the question; Minkyung is not surprised. Even so, she would rather not speak about those kinds of subjects, as the girl didn't budge ever so slightly when talking about them either.

"You haven't been training your timing?" Kyungwon asks instead of trying to respond to Minkyung's antics.

"No. I was actually… I was thinking about quitting."

Kang Kyungwon lets her expressions speak for her. She's shocked, sad… she's angry. She's way too angry to speak, let alone state her opinions. It's dangerous, and not even the cold water can calm her. Her fingers are compressing, forming into fists. She can't tell if the drops in her face are the pool's or forming from her eyes.

One second, Kyungwon is strutting up the ladder. She ignores the towel waiting for her by the pool and pushes Minkyung by the shoulders with wavering strength.

"Quitting the swimming team? Are you ing serious?" Kyungwon pushes her again, and Kim Minkyung lets herself be pushed. It's easy for her to realize the girl is on edge, and there's nothing she can do to settle her down.

She feels the drops of water fly from Kyungwon's body to hers; shivers pop from one place to another, but otherwise she is numb.

Kang Kyungwon pushes her a third time, then stops. She is looking down, and water is still dripping from her tousled, dark hair.

"Why?" The swimmer looks up again, and this time it's Minkyung who can't bare to look her in the eyes.

She wants an answer, and Minkyung doesn't have one. Not one which could satisfy her, at the very least, and so, she stays quiet for a while.

"I gave my suit to coach Kwon. I hope you'll understand."

Minkyung leaves.

And Kyungwon is once broken-hearted.

[...]

"Do you not regret it?" Sungyeon asks, but Minkyung is too busy tuning her guitar to pay attention to the girl.

The group is scattered across the practice room; Kyla is in a corner practicing her syllables with Yebin, and Kyulkyung and Eunwoo are apparently having a typing competition on her computer; they're probably using Minkyung's account, too. Not like she minds, anyway.

The truth is there's not much Minkyung actually minds, these days. She's too disconnected, either from reality or from anything that has to do with facing the cold, hard truth. She's made a mistake for listening to her brain, and now her heart has to pay the price.

A string snaps, cutting the skin right above her cheekbone in the process. Minkyung hisses, placing her index right above the cut, feeling the blood seep from the slit and slide through her cheek.

"Jesus ing-" She curses under her breath, and before she can get up in a hurry to the nearest bathroom, Sungyeon hands her the handkerchief she owns.

"You are a mess, Minky. A mess, indeed." The girl shakes her head as Minkyung applies pressure to the bleeding.

Minkyung sighs, and nods. "Can't argue with that. Do you have a spare Mi?"

"In my backpack. I'll go get it for you, you won't be escaping me! We will cover Red Velvet seniors even if you have to do it from your grave!" Sungyeon exclaims as she gets up from her seat, staring at her friend with dangerous intent. Minkyung shrugs it off, she's used to it by now.

She takes a deep breath, and grimaces with the stinging pain in her cheek. Still, it's not even close in level with the pain she's feeling buried in her chest.

It has been one week since she quit the team, and even without having to dive any more, Minkyung still catches herself itching for real oxygen, like she is drowning continuously. It is dark, deep down, and it gets darker each and every second.

Doesn't work trying to push it away, Kyungwon's smug grin seems to have been tattooed to her mind.

Deep down, she's still in love with her. And Minkyung hates how that love still manages to resurface no matter how much she tries to drown it.

[...]

It's a Saturday night. With the competition that reigned in her blood since the day she was born, Kyungwon should be training right now, but she is not. Instead, Kyungwon finds herself in a random club across campus, sipping a marguerita.

She feels like crying, to be honest. But instead, Kyungwon gets up, finishes what's left of her drink, and sways her body to the beat in the middle of the dance floor. She feels the blood rushing through her head, is sure her ears are burning red. Kyungwon can hear the pool calling for her, with its cooling waves. But arms snake through her waist before she can even think of striding off to throw herself in its hold.

"Alone?" The voice whispers in her ear, and for a moment, Kyungwon thinks she's gonna run away, because those eyes remind her of Minkyung's. Devilish, young, carefree.

She doesn't. Instead, Kyungwon nods. They're swaying together now, hips connected, and she can feel her warm breath touch her chin.

"Good. I was hoping so." The girl smiles, and kisses her while they're still swaying. There's a whirlwind of thoughts on Kyungwon's mind, but they all fade away as alcohol and lust take over.

The kiss deepens, and she throws herself into the waves, surrendering for once, even though her heart is still broken.

[...]

Fingers slide through the keys, uncertain. She is sure there is something that wants to come out, perhaps stumbling down, like the mess Minkyung has been feeling inside her heart for almost a month now. She's not sure why, but one thought crosses her mind.

Why do we love to hurt so much?

The blinking bar after the interrogation mark taunts her. Minkyung erases the words, frustrated, but the phrase is still inside her head, like it is true. It isn't, is it?

But why does it feel like it is?

Minkyung shakes her head, as if the thoughts are gonna come out like water that's been stuck inside her ear after a long swim.

The water. The water, something she's been missing for a long time. Maybe one simple dive won't hurt. Perhaps it will help clear her mind.

She closes the laptop, and gets up. Minkyung regrets giving her swimming suit to coach Kwon now. But it's ok, she thinks she has another one, probably violently thrown inside her drawer somewhere…

Minkyung's eyes widen. She pulls the soft fabric with her fingers, suddenly being rushed with memories. Her sight is focused on the small, but unmissable pin of an umbrella that is stuck to the neck-string of her old suit. The blue of the fabric has already faded out quite a bit, but the pin is intact, like it has never been touched, shining new.

Tears wet her t-shirt before she can notice them falling. It is like time has frozen, and instead, been replaced by old things Minkyung thought she would never remember again. Things she once wanted to forget, because they hurt.

Now, she finds herself reminiscing, looking into two girls shielding themselves from the rain under one single umbrella, staring with pure amazement as it poured down.

Kyungwon held the umbrella firmly between her fingers. She did not want for a second, to lose her grip on it and let Minkyung receive a single drop of that seemingly freezing water that fell from the skies. But even with the cold weather, her heart felt warm, and she knew exactly why.

Minkyung smiled, staring at clouds. "Isn't it beautiful? The gray sky."

"Why do you think so?" Kyungwon asked, curious.

"Because… because it's how we know it's gonna turn blue again. If the sky was never gray, how would we appreciate it when it is blue?"

"You're a poet, Minky." She smiled, and Minkyung smiled back, a little shy after the compliment. Her cheeks were raised up all the way, and Kyungwon thought, for sure, she was the most beautiful girl.

"Am I?" Minkyung laughed, and shook her head. "Nah, I'm just stating facts."

"True, but… the way you speak is so beautiful. Just like you." The compliment slipped past her lips, and for once, she didn't take it back. For a moment, she thought Minkyung was going to hit her for being cheesy, but she didn't. Instead, she turned her whole body to face her, and in that small umbrella, her face was really close. Close enough she could see her sparkling eyes.

Kyungwon reached first, and kissed the corner of her lips. It tasted sweet, even for a short-lived kiss, and her heart somersaulted inside its rib cage.

Minkyung was flustered, but Kyungwon had no chance to notice this, as the girl ran out from the safety of the umbrella to the rain, not stopping even once to look back.

[...]

Not a surprising thing to say, Minkyung got sick. She had no strength to leave her bed, and kept herself confined inside her room, refusing to slide out of her covers.

A knock sounded on the door, and thinking it was her mother again, Minkyung yelle