Thank you. It's something I thought I would never say to you. But I really mean it.

I thought my world fell apart the moment you said "I'm breaking up with you" and it did.

I thought I would feel lost and unhappy without you for the rest of my life.

Because when you came in into my life, I could see a much brighter world. You brought me out of a life where I could only see what was shown.  You taught me how to look things that I would never have looked for otherwise. 

It was like coming out of a world where I could only see colours as they are. When you came into my life individual colours turned into colours I could combine. Red and white were just orange and white but soon, I saw them as colours that could make pink.

I learnt how to depend on others. Especially you. Perhaps, too much.

Our friendship turned into something more.  At the same time, we began to rely on each other to the point "us" became toxic.

I tried so many times. To break up with you. But everytime you said no, I listened.

Because I loved you with all my heart and couldn't imagine a life with you. 

The person who showed me light in the darkness. 

I stayed, no matter how many times we'd fight. Even though I'd apologise because I knew my mistakes yet you never seemed to realise yours until I made you realise them. Yet still, I'd be asking for an apology.

I wonder, when? When did you just start saying "sorry" without even meaning it?

You helped me get out of the darkness but then, you also pushed me back in.

Making me think I was the one that was never understanding. The one that always did wrong. The one that was always short when it came to everything.

"I love you Sojung-unnie"

That too was a lie.

Because you left the moment you got fed up with us.

No matter how many times I stayed because I really did love you, that didn't matter to you.

Because you left. You didn't only leave without trying to sort anything out, you also left me at my darkest time.

But thank you.

Thank you because you taught me how to see the positive things in life before watching me sink back into the darkness.

When I thought I couldn't ever get out of the darkness again, I remembered you.

You who made me realise so many things. Especially after breaking up with me.

I realised that I deserve better.

I don't deserve someone like you. You who couldn't stay when I was at my worst.

I realised that even though you helped me see life in a better way, I too, helped you.

I was there the moment you'd ring me crying saying you need someone to talk to. The moment something good or bad happened ,I was there.

Yet you were only there for me at my best.

One day, I'll forgive you.

No matter how much I want to forget you, you will always be someone I've loved. No matter how wrong our love was.

Even if I find that you still talk about my badly to people, I won't do the same. Because I still respect what we had and what your secrets were.

I'm sorry we had to end, and I'm so sorry it ended badly. I'm sorry for the things I did wrong.

But that's where I'm stopping. I won't apologise for something that isn't my fault anymore.

Thank you Eunbi. For a lot.

But most of all, thank you for breaking up with me when I couldn't bear to do it myself.

Because of you, I was able to leave a relationship where the love wasn't equal.

Thank you for leaving, because now I'm living a better life than I could ever see myself in.

Even if there's still unhappiness and pain sometimes, at least you're not here to make it worse anymore.

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