You know I wasn't from Seoul..I was from LA and came back to Seoul 3 years ago to finish my studies...my parents could not come back with me as they have their works there...I was lonely and scared...how couldn't I be?? A little boy facing all the new things alone....my parents rent a room for me ,ya... not this room, I thought I would go crazy at that time, cause I had no one to talk, no one to ask help, I always phoned my parents to come and please take me back to LA, but they said I needed to finish my high school here and can come back only when I'm in college...I was so desperate and helpless...and there, he was there to help me. He was a year older than me, a senior at my school...oh, yeah, not this school, my old school. I was bullied a lot in my old school too, because of my feminine look and new student, I had no friends, so no one sided with me to help defend me,but he protected me from bullying..so I thought I finally got a friend to lean on.....I used to spend a lot of time with him and ya,eventually we became lovers...I thought I got a best boyfriend in the world,but I was totally wronged....he was good to me just because he wanted to use me, he was no different than the bullies, actually they are the same group who planned carefully to get my heart, well..my money,ya, that's more accurate.... he always asked me for money....I asked him why but he didn't answer me...but I gave him, I gave him everything he needs, everything he asked for...but my parents got my news ,they said I am wasting so much money for useless jerk so they cut off money....since, I've got no money left, I couldn't give him money. Whenever he asked more money from me, i could only say ''No' and 'I'm sorry"I didn't know at that time, why would he need so much money?? But later I found out that he was addicted to drugs...he could not stay a single day without using drugs ,so he was always in need of money. When I found out the truth, I was very angry because he was using all my money for my education on his drugs, he used me and played my heart, broke my trust, we had a big fight that day....and I think you have seen my scar, ya...that's how I got while fighting with him, he made that to me....with a knife.......luckily my neighbors phoned the police when they heard our fighting, so I was saved from being killed, but my face became like that and now I'm left with scar. And about the debts, I didn't know when did he go to them to rent some money, since he got arrested for his crimes of both trying to kill me and using drugs, they couldn't contact him and all they knew was that I was his boyfriend, so they came and asked me to pay back the debts....first i refused to pay off, but every time I refused, they hurt me and always threatened to kill me...so I'm left with no choice but to pay off the debts , ............"

He talks for a long time, I think he's getting sad or maybe angry thinking about the past, I understand him, and I can see pain in his eyes clearly...oh! Poor boy, he was so hurt, and I know one thing for sure is.....I really need to protect this boy

"My parents later found out all, they felt sorry for me, they transferred me school, and yes, they send me money back again but they didn't know about the debts, and I don't want to tell them too, I believe that it is the lesson and punishment to me, so I tried to pay off myself, without asking any help from others, "

" why you isolate yourself from others?? That's the punishment for yourself too??" I ask .

"Do you think I would trust others again?? Do you think I would need friends again?? Do you think I will show my feminine face to others again?? Do you think I would like to show this ugly scar of mine to make fun of me?"

"But Hyesungie, not all people are same "

"But I still don't trust them, it's enough for me to hurt once.........." silence came.

"Now I'm telling you about mine because it's not too late for you to stop loving me and the debt, it's okay, if you don't want to pay off, because I know you won't understand me and........"

"I understand" I said

"You understand what??"

"All, everything that I understand, I understand because I love"

He looks shock to hear me saying

"What do you think why I'm talking about mine to you?? Simple...to tell you stop loving me! To tell you get out of my life ! To tell you I'm man with lots of flaws and lots of mistake! Telling you I'm not pretty man as you think, I'm the man with ugly scar on my cheeks which would hunt me for life,telling you.......not hurt me and break my heart again, I already had my heartbroken"his voice gets softer as he speaks

"But Hyesungie, this is a good sign, having a broken heart. It means you have tried for something. It's better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all. I love you as certain dark things are to be loved, in secret, between the shadow and the soul. But you know Hyesungie, darkness cannot drive out darkness :only light can do that. And hate cannot drive out hate: only love can do that. And what's the big deal about your past, your mistakes?? When I said I love you, I love all of you. Not just the good things but bad things too. The things that I find lovable and the things you don't. But I love everything about you. I want you, all of you, your mistakes, your flaws, your imperfections , I want you and only you. "

We sit there quite, no one talk for minutes.

"I'm leaving......" he says after long time.

"Hyesungie......"

He looks back to me when he's about to leave my room.

" I understand you want to hide your face , your scar and yourself from others to keep yourself safe. But I wish you to be real you when you are with me, I wish you don't cover your pretty face with that black mask when you are with me, I wish you are free from all the things that restrain yourself when you are with me.....and I think you are perfect even with your flaws"

He listens me to me, standing there quietly and leaves the room.