this life now feels like a responsability, that's how taeyong feels, in 4 days they have a very important exam, so taeyong is going to do it but after that he is going where he truly belongs, because is better to remember that someone always loved you and he is not arround anymore because life , yes he misses yuta yes he wants to save him and yes he loves him but the memories are better than this estranger who says he loves him but actually he doesn't.

"Sweete heart, yuta is calling" taeyong's mom screems from the kitchen, taeyong can hear her but he doesn't want to talk to him 

as fast as a lighting taeyong is on the door "I'm leaving right now, tell him I'll call him later" he closes the door and leaves

Taeyong is going to meet with jaehyun, they are going to buy a new computer because jaehyun's fell and now it doesn't work, while taeyong walks he feel a preasure in his chest, he is remembering his yuta, the old yuta, the death yuta because taeyong sees a woman selling cherry ice cream and he remember the day they met that woman since that yuta always stoped there to buy and ice cream, but today that woman doesn't know who taeyong is, or yuta.

jaehyun is waiting in the mall, dress with ripped jean, and a yellow hoddie and his ald converse, his hair is a little messy but jaehyun doesnt need too much, he looks good in pretty much everything 

"hey hyung" jaehyun says waving his hand, he saw taeyong with his withe t-shirt and black jeans, he always feel comfortable like that and also it siuts him well  "shall we go to watch some computers and then we eat something or do you want to eat first?" jaehyun smiles, and taeyong doesnt know why but that smile remains him of yuta, is that kind of smile that makes you feel good and relax

taeyong smiles "computers first" he says and he starts to walk with jaehyun, and in the electronics departament they run to see the PS4 and the gamen, the X-BOX, then they see the cellphone so they try every mark (iphone, samsung, nokia, motorola etc) by the time they find the computer they already watch tv, washing machines, cellphones and a lot of things more 

"I'm so tired right now" jaehyun says touching the back of his head "and hungry" he laughs at himself

"I know, but now we are here so lets do this" taeyong starts to read the especification for the first one, jaehyun is listening and after the 5th computer he notice that he is not listening any word taeyong is saying, he is just looking at him, the way he moves his hands, and the way his lips form the words, how his hair nicely falls just above his eyes making them look so intense "maybe I'm just crazy" jaehyun whispers

taeyong looks at jaehyun "what?" jaehyun has a funny expresion, he looks like if he said something he didnt want to "are you tired?" taeyong asks, he looks for his phone in his jean's pocket "it's 6'oclock do you want to eat something?" 

"I want to see the samsung" jaehyun says, he doesn't know if they saw a samsung 

"yes, was the tird one, I like it too" taeyong smiles 

jaehyun is nervous but when he sees the computer he knows is a good choice "I like it, maybe in white?" jaehyun says touching his lips with his hands, taeyong looks at him and remembers how yuta used to be, so focus on simple thing but that was always so special about him 

"I like it in withe" taeyong smiles 

"Ok, this is the one, let's pay for it" jaehyun says with excitement, forgetting what he was thinking about taeyong.

"Finally, food!!!" jaehyun says

taeyong laughs, he cant help it 

"what's so funny?" jaehyun asks curious 

"Is just the way you are looking at the food, you face is like if this food were a human I'll marry it" taeyong looks at jaehyun laughing 

"I'm sorry I''m just so hungry" both of them laugh and then eat. 

taeyong is walking to his house, jaehyun is already in his house, taeyong had a really nice day with jaehyun, everything was just so relax just like it used to be with his yuta, everything was ok and there was not any problem, taeyong needs more days like this, he is near yuta's house he thinks if he should go to see him because he wants to but he is alwas thinking in what he saw, his phone rigns

"yong~" it is yuta

"yuta... I'm near your house" taeyong says he tries his best to sound normal 

"good, I just want to see you so bad" 

"I'm going to buy some ice cream then" taeyong says and he can believe how yuta can speak so normal, how can he lie so well?

"I love you, see you" yuta says, and taeyong doesnt answer he just hang the phone.

even if it hurts he is going to talk about everything with yuta, it hurts 1000 more is he doesnt say anything, he buys the ice-cream vanilla.

yuta feels that something is not all right, taeyong is acting weird he normally is so bright but today he is just down, and this feeling makes yuta feel bad, maybe taeyong knows that he did something wrong and he want to leave maybe taeyong is so mad right now but he is just too good to be bad even if he knows what yuta did.

"can I have your phone I need to look something and my phone just die" taeyong says, he is cold, his eyes are not bright any more and the way he speaks sounds like he is hurt and more than that he is angry

"sure" yuta says

after 5 minutes, yuta looks at taeyong and he sees that taeyong is looking at the screen "yong~ something is wrong?" but yuta doesnt have any answer and he is not brave enought to ask again; taeyong gives him a look and yuta knows what it is

taeyong sighs and looks at yuta, he stares at him a few second like taking a picture of him as if this is the last time he sees him "you tell me, is there anything wrong?" taeyong says and he shows the phone to yuta and there it is, the conversation with the other guy.

taeyong's voice doesnt sound like crying, he sounds like nothing he can't express anything in this moment he feels like someone else is talking for him because he can't even recognize what he is feeling, he knows he heart is beating fast, his hands are sweaty, his legs are shaking and he feel like vomit but he doesnt know what he feels towards yuta.

I'm sorry for taking so long!! the university keeps me busy 24/7
but I'll update more and more often
thank you so much for read!