Jongin drags himself through the dark apartment to his room. He has gotten used to walking around in the dark. In fact, it has kind of become his thing: to be able to walk around in the dark without bumping into anything. He is usually the last one to go to sleep but he sleeps the longest. It is the side effect of years spent practicing into the early morning hours and then dragging his exhausted body into something resembling a bed. Today is the same as every other day. Everyone is already in bed, trying to grab as much sleep and rest in the few hours they have before their next schedule. Just as Jongin reaches for the door leading to his bedroom he lets out a huge yawn. He waits for the yawn to die out before he drags himself through the darkness of his room so as to not disturb the person inside. Once inside, he tugs off his t-shirt as he makes way to his own bed as quietly as possible. He somehow manages to stub his toe on the edge of the bed and lets out a silent curse and even though he has tried to be as silent as possible, from across the room, he hears a rustle of sheets. 

“Mmmm.” Kyungsoo’s voice is thick with sleep, deeper than its usual deep timbre, making it ier than usual. “Since when did my roommate get night blindness?” 
Jongin sticks a tongue out at Kyungsoo, though it’s a futile act in the dark, and chucks a pillow in the general direction of the other boy’s face. The pillow lands right on the target he has aimed for which is proved by an "oomph!" let out by the smaller boy. 

“How about you be a nice roommate for once, and maybe ask me if my toe hurts or not?”

Kyungsoo teases Jongin for being a baby by letting out tiny childlike yelps so Jongin picks up his other pillow and throws it too. He smiles in satisfaction when the smaller boy lets out another "oof!"

Jongin had always had a special spot for Kyungsoo. He probably had been amazed by how tiny he was or probably how such a tiny little boy could sing like that, could sound like that. Every time he would open his mouth to sing, Jongin would be smitten. It was like Kyungsoo was nectar and Jongin was the bee. He couldn't not be attracted to it. For Kim Jongin, that nectar was what he needed to live; what made him want to live. 

All those years ago, when he had first met Kyungsoo, Jongin had known a lot of guys who could belt out songs in ways that he could only dream about. They had voices and singing skills that made him feel inadequate. Then came along a tiny little guy who had a voice that had rewritten all of Jongin's feelings. He had a voice that took Jongin from feeling inadequate to downright being mesmerized. It was the voice that made him want to dance and made him want to sit still and listen, all at the same time. 

“I think I need to wash your sheets for you. And maybe even shampoo your head for you.” Kyungsoo says from the other end of the room. He sounds like he is sitting up instead of lying down. “When was the last time you washed your pillowcase? This thing smells like something puked on it.”

Jongin settles into bed, balling his shirt and using it as a makeshift pillow. “I sweat and drool like a man, okay?”

Kyungsoo snorts derisively in response. “I don’t think smelling like this is something you should be proud of. How do you even manage to fall asleep on this?”

Jongin can picture the grimace on Kyungsoo's face, scrunched up in revulsion, even if it’s too dark to actually see it.
“I was going to wash it,” Jongin says- actually lies- “but someone used up all the soap. We have to go buy some tomorrow.” He mentally makes a note to go pour the soap down the toilet before Kyungsoo sees so that he doesn't catch his lie. He's too embarrassed to tell Kyungsoo that he's too tired to care about what his pillows smell like.

Kyungsoo rolls his eyes but it's too dark for Jongin to see. “Mother of Lincoln....I swear to god...These boys go through soap faster than they go through food. But do you actually manage to fall asleep with your face so close to this stench?”

That first day when Jongin had set his eyes on Do Kyungsoo, he hadn't expected the tiny boy to be a teenager who knew what he wanted without a doubt. The tiny boy spent the next couple of years transforming into a young man with his very thoroughly held together and his goals perfectly in place. While Kyungsoo had every step planned out, Jongin and his future band mates were still trying to get figure out how to walk without falling on their faces. Chanyeol, especially, seemed to be having the most difficulty because he was shooting up at such a speed that it wouldn't have been a surprise if he hit the ceiling soon. Chanyeol was always stubbing his toes on the edge of furniture because his legs were longer than he thought. Or he'd bang his head on a shelf because he was taller than he thought. And every time Chanyeol had a cut or bruise, it was Kyungsoo who tended to him. Kyungsoo tended to all their wounds. He seemed to be the only person who seemed to know what he was doing. And it made them feel safe to let him take care of them. There was a solemn look in his eye; the kind of focus that Jongin would never have. He had a determined air about him; one that made Jongin look up to him. 
Jongin was Kai onstage: a personality that was y and hot; one that made girls go wild. But when he climbed down those stairs and got off stage, he'd become Jongin again: shy and cute and easily embarrassed. That wasn't the case with Kyungsoo. He navigated his life- both onstage and offstage- as DO, carrying his stage name like a shield and an energy source, never losing sight of the plans he had made. 
Kyungsoo told Jongin this once, very late at night when they were sitting in the dance studio, because it was too late (and they were too tired to go back home) that he worked so hard only for one reason: the worst thing for him was him feeling disappointed in himself. 

When Jongin doesn't reply to Kyungsoo's question about the stench (he honestly thinks that it's rhetorical), he hears another rustle of sheets and a few cracking sounds of joints waking up from sleep as Kyungsoo heaves himself off his bed, switching on a lamp to bathe the room in light. The grunting sounds that Kyungsoo makes while standing up tell Jongin about how tired he really is. He has dark bags under his eyes which make him look even more like an owl than usual, and his back cracks a couple of times as he bends down to pick up one of Jongin's pillows which has rolled off Kyungsoo's bed onto the ground, but he says nothing as he begins rummaging around in their dresser for freshly laundered covers to change Jongin’s pillows into. 

Jongin wouldn't accept it openly, but if he thought about it, that was the reason why Jongin loved Kyungsoo the most. Because Kyungsoo was always the one to roll out of bed at two in the morning to take care of him. On countless occasions, he rubbed pain reliever into his sore muscles. He made him chocolate pudding when he was feeling down. Kyungsoo would be the one who would drag him out for a breath of fresh air when all Jongin cared about was getting his moves right, when it didn't matter if he danced till he fainted. Kyungsoo always had time for him. He was always making sure to be there for Jongin, making sure to ground his sanity when he was overcome by his obsessive nature. He was always there to make sure that Jongin didn't self-destruct either from excessive practice or plain stupidity. Kyungsoo genuinely cared. So Jongin loved him. But he would never accept it openly. 

But sometimes, on one of those rare rainy days when they had time off, Jongin liked to imagine what it would be like if he told Kyungsoo how he felt about him. He'd seat himself on the countertop as Kyungsoo would whip up a meal for him and imagine what it would feel like to say "Hyung, I'm in love with you." 
He imagined standing behind Kyungsoo as he stirred the pot on the stove and then wrapping his arms around the little boy's waist. He imagined whispering in his ear about how much he truly admired him; how much he adored him. But all the daydreaming had not gotten Jongin enough courage to do it. He had walked up behind him as planned, but the words never made their way out of his mouth. Instead, he had buried his head in between Kyungsoo's shoulder blades and surprised the little boy. But ever since then, Jongin had found the courage to do it again. In fact, it had become his new favorite thing to do: bury his face between Kyungsoo's shoulder blades when he was cooking or folding his laundry.

Of course, Kyungsoo had not accepted this act lightly. The first time when Jongin did it, he turned around and smacked Jongin on the head with a wooden spoon. He had been concerned about him, but he had smacked him nonetheless because that was just who he was: not someone very fond of cuddling. 
Though Jongin got punched in the arm, flicked on the forehead, or poked in the ribs for hugging Kyungsoo, he did it anyway because he knew that those tiny acts of violence were Kyungsoo's own way of hugging him back. 

“Here," Kyungsoo says, flinging one pillow at Jongin after changing the cover, "I hope you don't mind using my covers for now.” Kyungsoo pulls off the cover of the other pillow as he continues, “besides, I bet a little bit of Downy won't cause any serious damage to the stench of your so-called man sweat." He flings the second pillow at Jongin. "In all honesty, it would be a serious improvement over that puke stench."

It’s true. The downy smell does make Jongin wanna bury his face in the pillow so that he could breathe in the scent all night long, but he only grumbles “,” as he flops down on his stomach and buries his face into the pillow. 
After a couple of seconds, he also accepts that he's ing overjoyed over that fact that he's burying his face into Kyungsoo'spillowcasee. It's the same case that Kyungsoo lays his head on, buries his face into.....drools into. And now his cheek is resting against a spot that Kyungsoo had probably drooled over not so long ago. Even though the last part would probably gross you out, Jongin ing loves it. And he can't help smiling as he buries his face deeper into the pillow. 

But then, maybe it wasn't such a huge surprise that Jongin would be in awe of Kyungsoo because SM entertainment wasn't a place for those who were poor in willpower and determination. When an idol said that he/she had poured in tears, sweat, and blood to achieve their dream, they weren't using a figure of speech. Pain, suffering, misery, hunger, fatigue was a way of life. They couldn't make it out of there and to the top unless they loved the dream more than they loved themselves. They had to be willing to sacrifice anything- sleep, family, food, body, love- if they wanted to even try debuting. And Kyungsoo had done it all. The day that Kyungsoo had signed the contract with SM entertainment he had broken up with his girlfriend back home. He hadn't waited to think or ponder. Jongin, on the other hand, had difficulty doing the same. He had secretly met up with his girlfriend for a long time after signing the contract because he didn't have the heart to break up with her. Later on, he did. But he would be lying if he said that the reason wasn't lying in a bed opposite to his. 

“What’s that, Jongin? ‘You were right almighty D.O about my pillow smelling like trash. Now that you have taken care of it, it smells so wonderful that I'm going to sleep like a baby.’ That’s right, Jongin. You should be grateful. I’m glad to see you have such good manners." Kyungsoo teases Jongin as he pulls his covers up and snuggles deeper into his bed. 

“Thanks” Jongin murmurs into the pillow because he can't make himself lift his head up. At long last, he has finally managed to get a hold on Kyungsoo's covers. He isn't going to waste even one moment as long as he has them. He is going to bury his face into the comforting scent of his friend’s pillowcase for as long as he can. And he knows that he doesn't have long because very soon the manager Hyung is going to come around and wake them all up. 

Kyungsoo chuckles and tugs his covers with closed fists that he buries under his neck. He should turn off the lamp because he's done changing the covers and now they can go to sleep but Kyungsoo is reluctant to do so because he then he won't able to watch Jongin bury his face into the pillows. He is glad that Jongin has his face buried into the pillow. This way Kyungsoo can watch him all he wants. But Jongin doesn't know this.


Thankfully, by time Kyungsoo wakes up the next morning, someone (meaning their Baekhyun, of course) has used up all the soap to wash his and "Channie's" (that's the way Baekhyun addresses 'his' Chanyeol) clothes. Kyungsoo makes it very clear to whoever is responsible for getting groceries that week that they need to get double the amount of soap that they usually do and if they fail to do so he will personally subject them to the agony that his nose had to bear with the previous night. And when Jongin tries to object that Kyungsoo hadn't had to suffer that much and that he's overreacting, he gets hit on the head with an exceptionally big potato that Kyungsoo flings at him from across the kitchen. However, five minutes later, Kyungsoo hands Jongin his breakfast- eggs, sunny side up with toast and freshly squeezed orange juice- Jongin can't help but feel like there isn't anyone in this world that he loves more than Kyungsoo. And those little acts of violence that he has to put up with on a daily basis just make him fall in love even more. 

Jongin had taken quite a while to fall asleep the previous night. He could feel his heart racing and at first, he wondered whether it was because he was finally placing his face on the same covers that Kyungsoo used to sleep on, but then he got the feeling that he was being watched. He wanted to turn and make sure that Kyungsoo was sleeping instead of watching, but he couldn't because the thought of Kyungsoo watching him made butterflies have a stampede in his tummy. And he knew that if he turned and looked at Kyungsoo then Kyungsoo would look away. That was something that he didn't want at all. 

Their schedule for the day consists of recordings, recordings, and more recordings. In the evening they have to be on some game show that will probably extend late into the night. By the time they arrive at the studio for the game show they all are so tired that they could drop dead and no one would complain. Suho wonders out loud why they had to have the recordings for the MV and the game show on the same day but no one listens to his complains as they are all trying to save their energy for the recording of the show. he attempts to bring this up with their manager Hyung but he is beaten down even before he can begin to voice his thoughts because he's tired too (and also because of the fact that no one has enough stamina left to back him up). And no matter how hard he is trying to be a leader for everyone (Kris is no help whatsoever because he is too busy trying to look perfect) he can never reach the standards that he has set for himself as the leader because he never has enough energy left at the end of the day to even drag himself into bed. On several occasions Sehun, Jongin and Chanyeol have had to carry their leader to bed because he passes out on the couch or the floor after trying to make everyone get into their beds. Sehun, being the manknae, is usually the one being taken care of by Suho hyung as well as everyone else. But when it comes to Suho hyung, Sehun is the one usually carrying him into bed. Jongin, usually being the last one to get to bed, has found the leader asleep with his head in the refrigerator, on the kitchen island, on the commode, in the shower (standing, he must add) and many other places that you could only begin to imagine, but only on those days that Sehun has been so tired that the couldn't help but pass out before his Suho hyung.

Jongin watches as Sehun dozes off and Suho brings his head to rest on his shoulder so that the manknae wouldn't bang his head on the window or sprain it while nodding off. Jongin wonders if Kyungsoo would do that for him. He doesn't know. He dozes off quite frequently and every time he wakes up his head is on Kyungsoo's shoulder (if he was sitting beside Kyungsoo) but that's the way with everyone. It doesn't matter who he is sitting beside, he finds his head resting on their shoulder anyway. So maybe it's just him. Maybe he is the one who places his own head on Kyungsoo's shoulder and maybe Kyungsoo (just like everyone else) is too good to shake it off.

Jongin wonders if he should try it with Baekhyun who is currently sitting beside him. Till date, he has seen only two people who have managed to sleep on Baekhyun's shoulders without being pushed off- Chanyeol and Jongdae. Would Baekhyun take his head and rest it on his shoulder or would he push him off? 
Jongin begins to pretend like he is sleepy and starts nodding off. Slowly nodding off in Baekhyun's direction so that he can subtly get closer to Baekhyun's shoulder. 

"I know that you're pretending," Baekhyun says, continuing to play with his phone as he has been for the past ten minutes. 
Jongin wants to look at Baekhyun. He wants to stop pretending and ask him how he knows, but he decides to continue playing his own little game. 

"Why don't you do this with the person you want to try it on?" Baekhyun taps his phone rapidly, killing zombies or cutting fruit or whatever. 
Jongin wants to ask Baekhyun what he means but he doesn't say anything. He continues his little act, making his way to the Oscars with his acting. 

But it seems like Baekhyun is buying none of it. "I could exchange seats with Kyungsoo, you know," Baekhyun murmurs so that Jongin is the only one who hears him. 
And then without preamble Baekhyun gets up from his seat and asks Kyungsoo to exchange seats with him. He complains about how Jongin is dozing on him and destroying his game, not to mention the drool on his shoulder (Jongin personally feels that Baekhyun is overdoing it, but whatever, because in the end, he manages to make Kyungsoo sit beside Jongin). Throughout this whole ordeal Jongin pretends to sleep and when Kyungsoo climbs into the seat beside him, he shifts in the most inconspicuous way so that he could be a little more closer to Kyungsoo. But it's not required because Kyungsoo reaches out for Jongin's head and very gently (Jongin can feel Kyungsoo's soft fingers against the side of his face) places it against his shoulder. Jongin feels his heart race and the butterflies wreak havoc in his tummy but he lays as still as he can because his Kyungsoo is lending him a shoulder and he wants to stay that way for as long as he can. 

“We're here,” Kyungsoo murmurs to Jongin gently, patting his fingers on the younger boy’s knees. Jongin wakes with a start; not because of the voice but because of the feel of that hand against his knees. He doesn't know when he fell asleep, just that he had slept well. But that is always the case around Kyungsoo: one second Jongin's heart is racing and the next he's waking from the most peaceful slumber that he's ever been in. Jongin tries not to think about the way his heart rate is elevating. He can feel his pulse in his throat, at the back of his neck and in his knee where that hand is resting. 

“I’m awake,” he murmurs in response. He is about to ask for some water but he is passed a bottle before he can form the sentence in his sleep riddled mind. 
Jongin murmurs thanks to Kyungsoo as he takes the bottle. He can see Baekhyun smirking in the back, but before he can try to comprehend what it's supposed to mean their manager Hyung is urging them all to get out of the van and into the studio. As Jongin chugs down a few more sips he watches a sleepy Sehun and a y Luhan (he is usually that way right after he wakes up) being dragged out by Suho hyung. Baekhyun has jumped out of the van long before Jongin even manages to regain use of his limbs and makes his way to the other van which has his "Channie" in it. By the time Jongin manages to climb out of the van, Baekhyun is already complaining to his Channie (in a high pitched voice that too, while holding onto his arm) about how it was so horrible to not have Chanyeol around for the two-hour ride. 

“Hey, Channie-" Jongdae slaps himself on the forehead, correcting himself, "Chanyeol, do you have any of those energy drinks left? Sehun desperately needs to wake up,” 
While Chanyeol shakes his head dismally, Baekhyun laughs out loud at Jongdae. "I told you it will stick! It is cute, it will stick."
"No, it won't!" Jongdae retorts back. "That was a slip of tongue. It's not cute and I'm never calling him Channie. Ever." 
"That tongue of yours needs to slip a couple more times and then it will become a habit." Baekhyun wiggles his eyebrows at Jongdae. 
Jongdae groans and throws his arms in the air. "Chanyeol, don't you have a problem with this?"
"Problem with what?" Chanyeol turns to look at Jongdae. He turns only his head so that his arm is still looped with Baekhyun's. 
"Problem with being addressed as Channie?" Jongdae says 'Channie' in a high pitched voice, trying to imitate Baekhyun. 
"Of course I don't mind!" Chanyeol says, smiling widely, "as long as it's my Baekkie, he can call me whatever he wants." 
Tao makes a gagging sound as he passes by them and Kris rolls his eyes at them. Jongin wants to roll his eyes too, but he can kinda understand how they feel. 
Because he feels the same about Kyungsoo. He just doesn't have the courage to say it out loud. 

Chanyeol stops suddenly when he sees a vending machine. “There, I’ll go grab us some coffee. Who wants what?” He asks as he makes his way to the machine and Baekhyun follows suit, stuck to him at the waist. Everyone shouts out their order to the giant and the shorty beside him as they make their way to the dressing room. Jongin is the only one who doesn't ask for anything because he is too busy pondering if he and Kyungsoo could ever be as openly intimate as them. That is, if and only if, Kyungsoo likes him back.

“Thanks, hyung.” Sehun croaks, as Chanyeol hands him the coffee, head dropping onto Suho’s shoulder. The hyung continues to pet his dongsaeng's hair gently, pampering him a little more than he deserved, and as Jongin surveys them, he realizes that he and Kyungsoo are probably the only ones who shy away from being openly intimate in public. Kyungsoo is shy- that he can understand- but why is he reluctant? He doesn't seem to have a problem with laying his head on Suho's lap while watching a movie or sitting on Sehun's lap when there aren't enough seats. Then why does he bury his head in between Kyungsoo's shoulder blades only when no one else is watching? 

It’s not surprising, with Jongin being all distracted and not really paying attention to the game they are playing on the show, that what happens next actually happens. It's a weird game of musical chairs. Six of them - Suho, Jongin, Chanyeol, Xiumin, Lay and Kris- are blindfolded and made to sit on chairs and the others had to dance around them while moving. As soon as the music stops they have to sit on the lap of the member that they are standing in front of. And if the member who was blindfolded wants to be paired with them for the next game, they have to wrap their arms around their partner sitting on their lap.

On cue, one of EXO's songs - Growl- begins to play and they all start moving. Luhan brings out his dance moves and tries to look predatory but all that he manages to look like is a wolf pup. Baekhyun is a little jittery, moving extra fast when he is front of other members and extra slow when he is front of Chanyeol. Of course, Jongin cannot see this as he is blindfolded but even if he could, he wouldn't have cared because his heart is busy doing somersaults in his chest. The next game is the Pocky game (where both of the members had to eat the Pocky sticks from opposite ends and the ones who are left with the smallest piece were the winners) and Jongin doesn't know whether he wants to be paired with Kyungsoo or not. One part of him is eager to get that close to Kyungsoo (to Kyungsoo's lips actually). The other part of him is scared about the same thing. Would Kyungsoo sit on his lap? If he did, should he hug him? Nah! The chances of Kyungsoo being the one to sit on his lap are low. Besides, Sehun might try to sit on his lap. They are comfortable with each other and they could easily win this game if they are paired up. Somewhere in the middle of this thought process, the music stops and he feels a pair of soft thighs land against his. They are soft and squishy against his own. The scent is so familiar. It is the scent that he always smells when he buries his face in between a particular pair shoulder blades. And on instinct- purely on instinct- Jongin bens forwards, wrapping his arms around the person on his lap and buries his face in between those shoulder blades. 

This act doesn't go unnoticed by the MC or the fans, and hence, two segments later, when they have a Q and A session, the MC asks, "the second, D.O. sat on your lap, you wrapped your hands around him and buried your face in his back. Did you want him to be your partner? And if yes, how did you know so quickly that it was him?"

Jongin, who is still reeling with the number of butterflies in his tummy after the Pocky game, takes a couple of seconds to realize that he's being spoken to and then three more seconds to comprehend what he's being asked. In that time, Baekhyun decides to be a gentleman and answer for him. "Because he is always doing that with D.O," he says, "when he thinks that no one is watching he goes and wraps his arms around D.O. and buries his face in his back."

This comment by Baekhyun makes Jongin go so red in the face that his tan is of no help to hide it and Kyungsoo turns as red as his hair. This only goes on to prove that it is true and this little reddening act doesn't go unnoticed by the fans who coo and shriek like little banshees because it is proof that their little OTP does exist.

"So, D.O.sshi," the MC goes on, to embarrass them a little more, "how do you deal with this thing that Kai does?"

Kyungsoo is still red in the face and embarrassed and is staring at his fingers and can't seem to formulate a sentence in his head because this is supposed to be his and Jongin's little secret but now the whole world knows and he-

"He hits Kai. With whatever he has in his hand: a spoon, a spatula, a pencil...with whatever he is holding, he hits Kai. There was this one time when we were rehearsing and D.O. hit Kai with the mike...it created such a loud sound we all almost went deaf that day."

Kyungsoo looks up to see who is now being such a kind soul (he plans to kill them later) and is answering in his stead and sees the big-eared giant being all cheerful as he tells the world about Kyungsoo little acts of violence. "But that's his way of showing affection. If Kyungsoo hits you, it means that he likes you." 

"It looks like you are going to get hit by D.O. soon, Chanyeolsshi." The MC comments, chuckling as he notices Kyungsoo giving Chanyeol the glare. 
"Well, that only proves that he loves me, so I'll gladly accept any hits I get." Chanyeol keeps smiling like an idiot at Kyungsoo, completely at ease, unaware that his end is approaching. Kyungsoo has it all planned out in his head; he is going to murder Channie (Kyungsoo says it in his head in that annoying high pitched voice that Baekhyun uses) tonight.

Both Jongin and Kyungsoo are too distracted to pay much attention to what happens throughout the rest of the show -Kyungsoo is planning Chanyeol's murder, and Jongin is too busy trying to shoo away the thoughts of how close his lips were to Kyungsoo's during the Pocky game- and do not notice what is happening till they are climbing back into the van.

“It’s actually kind of cute,” Baekhyun tells Jongin out of nowhere, halfway through the ride back to their dorm, “because he’s actually a little bit of a shy person, back when D.O didn’t know us all well, he wouldn't talk to any of us, but of course, he’s more comfortable now. But still, you were the first person he ever opened up to. I tried on countless occasions to have conversations with him but they were mostly one sided. He never really opened up to any of us until he started hanging out with you."

He looks up at Jongin from his phone, to make eye contact with him, tell him with his eyes that he means what he is saying. Jongin then believes him. Because if Baekhyun is looking at you right in the eye, he is being absolutely honest with you. Jongin nods at Baekhyun and then turns to look out the widows again. He is kinda glad, for once, that Kyungsoo is in a different van, giving him space to think. But he isn't sure where his thought process is actually leading him. 

Jongin, recalled the first time he saw Kyungsoo. He remembered the tiny, fidgety boy. He remembered seeing the boy being a bunch of nerves and wondering whether he could even stand on stage, let alone sing. But as time went by, came to realize that Kyungsoo was probably the most focused one among all of them. He was probably the one person among all of them who could stand on stage, sing and slay. He remembered the nods that they gave each other, the only signs of acknowledgment that they belonged to the same company, the same group. He remembered how Kyungsoo would be the first one in for every practice, how he would wordlessly keep trying his dance moves till he could get them right. He remembered Chanyeol trying to strike up a conversation with Kyungsoo and failing miserably. By the end of the first week, the giant had managed to become friends with almost everyone in the group but Kyungsoo had remained a mystery. And even after two months, Chanyeol couldn't strike up a conversation that lasted more than two minutes and even those two minutes were filled with awkward silence. That all had changed one night when Kyungsoo had stayed back a little later than usual. He walked into the dance practice room and saw Jongin practicing by himself. Kyungsoo, who was still having trouble with getting his body parts to move in a manner that didn't seem like he was being electrocuted, had watched Jongin with fascination, and then after an hour of watching him he had packed and left. This ritual happened every day until Jongin had one day finally asked Kyungsoo if he'd like to join in too. Kyungsoo wanted to deny at first, but Jongin had seen the reluctance in his eyes and said that Kyungsoo had nothing to lose, that there was no one to see him make a fool of himself. Nothing else was said that night. Jongin did his moves extra slow so that Kyungsoo could follow, and then repeated them again and again till Kyungsoo could get them right. Neither of them said a word but they had formed some sort of camaraderie. The only time Jongin had heard Kyungsoo's voice was when he sang and he couldn't help but be mesmerized. But when Kyungsoo finally started talking to him, Jongin could only describe his reaction as being shocked. The deep voice that emanated from his throat was nothing but y and even though that singing voice made his heart leap, Kyungsoo's y voice when he spoke made Jongin's toes curl and he couldn't decide which one he liked more. Once Kyungsoo and Jongin started talking they couldn't stop. They spoke about anything and everything. Kyungsoo told him about the girlfriend he had left back home, about his dreams, his ambition, his time in kindergarten, his mom's recipes. He spoke and spoke, and Jongin was more than glad to listen. 
 

“Keep frowning like that, and your face is going to get stuck.”

Jongin is broken out of his reverie by Baekhyun chastising the maknae. Sehun is sticking his tongue out at Baekhyun and making a nasty face. Jongin doesn't know what is going on but he doesn't care anyway, so he goes back to his dream world. 

Jongin is so lost in his dream world that he doesn't realize that he is back at the dorm. His thoughts are so jumbled up that he can't seem to untangle them and –
“Keep frowning like that, and your face is going to get stuck.” 
Huh? That feels like déjà vu! He feels like he had heard that sentence just a couple of seconds before. Did it happen or is he imagining it?

Baekhyun plops down on the couch beside him, hair damp from a shower,  and a small, infuriating smirk hovering around his mouth.

Jongin scowls at him. He doesn't like it that his thought unjumbling process has been so rudely interrupted. 

Baekhyun heaves a theatrical sigh and rolls his eyes. “Oh for sake of Lee Sooman's pants! Just go tell him you like him. Or better yet, just go kiss him! He won’t mind, and I'm willing to bet my entire collection of Bambi figurines that he'll probably jump you then and there. Watching you two is so....so...” Baekhyun curls the fingers of his hand and clenches the muscles of his jaw, "so...ually frustrating."

Jongin feels himself stiffen. What the actual ? “Wha-what?” 

“Kyungsoo’s gonna kill me.” Baekhyun picks the space in between his teeth with his nail, trying to find that piece of seaweed from dinner that's irritating the out of him, “and I'm willing to bet that Channie is being murdered right now by Kyungsoo. There is no way that he is walking away alive after what he said earlier. Seriously what was he thinking, saying that out loud?"

"You weren't being that helpful either." Jongin points out to Baekhyun, referring to what he had said about Jongin burying his head in Kyungsoo's back. 

"Oh yeah, but it's you. You're harmless. Kyungsoo on the other hand..." Baekhyun lets out a shudder and continues, "you may not be the brightest of kids, but you would have figured it out eventually. This way, I can at least be doing one good deed by preventing you from living through the tortured angst that you both seem to be so fond of—”

“I don’t understand what you’re saying” Jongin interrupts. Jongin refuses to understand. Well, he does understand but he refuses to accept it. 

Baekyun finally turns his eyes on the other boy. He knows that it is time for him to look Jongin right in the eye. It's the only way. 

“Jongin-ah, I know that you're in love with Kyungsoo. Don't you dare try to deny it because I know," Baekhyun widens his eyes to emphasize the point, and continues, "it's obvious. It has been obvious since forever. I know that you were still seeing your girlfriend for a while even after you signed the contract but then later you broke up with her. And don't you dare deny that Kyungsoo wasn't the reason you made that decision. I've seen the way you look at him, your eyes following him around when you have company because that's the only way you can be with him when everyone is watching. You let your food go cold because you wait for him to place everyone's food on the table before he starts eating, to start eating yourself. Even if you come back from dance practice at three in the morning, you do the dishes in the sink because you know that otherwise, Kyungsoo would be the one who would be doing them when he wakes up in the morning. And believe me or not, Kyungsoo’s in love with you too. It may not seem like it but he’s been in love with you since forever. He used to watch you during dance practice, trying to mimic the way you move. Whenever I tried to talk to him during a break, I rarely ever got replies from him because his eyes were too busy studying the way you move. And then he'd randomly smile and I'd wonder what I had said that was funny, but then I'd look at you and see you laughing your off with Chanyeol or Sehun and that's when I realized that you were the reason he was smiling." Baekhyun stops for a second because he is kinda out of breath, but he starts again because he is kinda scared that he'll lose the flow and he doesn't want that. "I mean, for ’s sake, he runs to the store to buy eggs when he sees that there aren't any in the fridge cause he knows how much you like your eggs. And when you're not watching him, he is watching you and I'm so fed up of watching you two ing gazing longingly at each other. So please, stop wasting time, get off the couch and go tell him how you feel. And it doesn't matter if you feel utterly embarrassed because trust me, it will be worth it.”

Jongin gets off the couch.

Then he sits back down. "Hyung."

"What?"

He places his head on Baekhyun's shoulder because it feels so full and it's gotten so heavy that he can't support it with his neck anymore. "Can I stay like this for a little while?"
Baekhyun sighs and then pats Jongin's head. "Okay. Just for a little while."

Jongin stays there the whole night, and Baekhyun lets him because he knows what it feels like to be burdened with feelings and insecurity. He knows how conflicted one can feel before they finally muster enough courage to confess their feelings. Because he was there, not so long ago. He is one of those lucky ones who has managed to confess to someone understanding enough. He had told Chanyeol how he felt, and even though Chanyeol doesn't feel the same way (he is 100% straight) he doesn't shy away from Baekhyun or push him away. He doesn't treat him like crap. Instead, he continues to the great friend that he has always been. And Baekhyun is grateful for that. 

Baekhyun hopes with all his heart that Kyungsoo will accept Jongin's feelings and tell him that he loves him too. There is nothing that Baekhyun wants more than a happy ending for these two. 

The thing that breaks them both out of their state of limbo is the sound of Kyungsoo's alarm. Jongin gets up from the couch and stretches his muscles, all sore from falling asleep in the same position all night, and looks at Baekhyun who gives him a small but genuine smile. The look in his eyes tell Jongin that he will be here to celebrate if all goes well or give him a shoulder again if things go south. Jongin nods at him, in a huge breath and makes his way to his bedroom. He walks in to the sight of Kyungsoo pulling on a pair of sweatpants. Kyungsoo likes sleeping without any pants on. Jongin smiles when he remembers the first time he had woken up to see Kyungsoo in a pair of boxers, his morning wood clearly visible. It had been so awkward that they had both burst out laughing. 

Kyungsoo = smiles. That's what Jongin had realized the past few years. 

“Hyung?”
Kyungsoo doesn't reply. He just moves on to making his bed. 
"Hyung?"
Kyungsoo continues ignoring him. 
"Hyung? Are you mad at me?"
"Why didn't you come to bed last night?"
Okay. Jongin isn't expecting that. 
"I was outside in the living room." Jongin says, not quite understanding what is going on. 
"With Baekhyun." Kyungsoo's voice is cold, detached. 
"Yeah. We were talking-"
"Is that all you did?" Kyungsoo finishes making his bed and is now fixing the dressing table. 
"Well, we were just talking about stuff..." Jongin is baffled. He doesn't understand why Kyungsoo is behaving this way. 
“Look, Jongin,” Kyungsoo doesn’t turn around. His tone is cold, clinical and his shoulders rigid. “You don't have to lie to me, okay?“ 

“Lie to you?” Jongin interjects, “Baekhyun was saying some stuff and he and I were just – are you jealous, hyung?" The realization hits Jongin out of nowhere and he can't stop the words flowing out of his mouth. "Just tell me the truth. Do you like me, hyung? Is that why you're being jealous now?”

Kyungsoo finally turns to look at him. He is still, very still. His eyes focused on Jongin's. He stands like that for a long moment, unmoving. Jongin wonders if he has made a mistake. Voicing his thoughts out loud. Should he have kept quiet? Did he just make a mistake? Will Kyungsoo tell him that he doesn't like him? Or will he tell him that he likes him back? A thousand thoughts of doubt, of regret, of dread, of hope, pass through his mind and all that is left is a huge ball of confusion. 

“You confuse me,” Kyungsoo states flatly. His eyes are round. His mouth is in a straight line. No emotion is visible on his face to give Jongin even a clue of what he may be feeling. 

“What?” In that huge mass of confusion if Jongin has any semblance of order in his mind it promptly flees.

“You. Confuse. Me.” Kyungsoo repeats slowly as if putting a full stop between each word would help them both understand it better. 

Confusion. Hope. Dread. Confusion. 

“I..what? Why? That doesn’t make any sense,” Jongin protests even though what he is feeling can exactly be defined as "confusion" but he isn't screening his words anymore. Every thought is a jumble. And he doesn't know why. And suddenly all of the feelings he’s been suppressing for the last four years are pushing their way out; Like the floodgates to the dam have been opened. 

“Jongin....” Kyungsoo starts, as if he is unsure of what to say. That isn't a huge surprise considering that he has just admitted that he was confused. Jongin stops thinking immediately; all of his attention focussed on Kyungsoo. Kyungsoo stares at his fingers for a whole minute and Jongin lets him because he knows how hard it can be to organize thoughts when you're confused. When Kyungsoo finally seems to have come to a dead end, he looks up all of a sudden, he heaves a small, frustrated sigh, and suddenly he's pouring out all those thoughts that have tortured him the past four years.

"With you, I never know what I'm feeling! When I joined the company I knew, for sure I knew, that I wanted to be a singer and a good one at that. I was wiling to sacrifice everything for it. I left behind my family and moved into a dorm with guys who have no sense of cleanliness whatsoever. I broke up with my girlfriend not because the contract wanted me to but because I wanted to focus on my dream, my ambition. I wanted to not be distracted by anything at all. I wanted to focus all my energy on becoming what I had always dreamed of. But then I see you and I get distracted. I'm supposed to be singing but all I can think about is the way you move. How your limbs flow like water when the music starts. I'm supposed to be sleeping but then I sneak to the practice room so that I can peep through the doors and watch you dance. I need to get to practice early but then I remember that you didn't have breakfast the night before so I risk being late so that I can make you a huge breakfast. There are times when I manage to get a grip on the reason why I'm here and I manage to get back my focus, but then you fall sick and then I can't think of anything else but be worried about you. You make me confused Jongin! So ing confused!" Kyungsoo is panting because he just went on the biggest rant of his life and this is probably the first time that he had spoken so much in one go. 
Jongin blinks a couple of times because he needs time processing this but it becomes clear that Kyungsoo feels the same way about him as he does about Kyungsoo.

"Is there something that you are not confused about, hyung?" Jongin asks this just to make sure. Because he is still so immature and maybe he is reading this all wrong. So he asks, just to play it safe. 
"Yes. There is." Kyungsoo looks at his feet. He can't look at Jongin anymore. 
"What is it, hyung?"
Kyungsoo runs a hand through his hair and then looks back at Jongin. "I think I'm in love with you." 
And with that he walks past Jongin, out of the bedroom, the door banging shut loudly because Kyungsoo unintentionally closed it with that much force. 
No earth-shattering kiss. No heartwarming hug. Nothing. 
Jongin didn't even get to say 'I love you' back to him. 

A few minutes later, must have been five, must have been ten, Jongin doesn't know, the door of his bedroom opens and he looks up with hope. But it's Baekhyun peeking in, finding Jongin standing in the exact same spot that he was when Kyungsoo had left the room. 
"What happened?" Baekhyun asks, though he has heard everything because Kyungsoo was not exactly trying to keep his voice down when he had gone on his rant. 

"He told me that he loves me." Jongin finally says it out loud after playing that sentence over and over again in a loop in his head ever since he heard Kyungsoo say it. 
"And did you tell him that you love him too?" Baekhyun asks, even though he knows that Jongin didn't. 
Jongin shakes his head no. 
"Then what are you waiting for?" 
Jongin blankly stares at Baekhyun because he doesn't know.
"Kyungsoo was rummaging for eggs in the fridge. He is making a double fried egg, sunny side up and he is probably squeezing out orange juice right now. If you don't tell him that you love him before he finishes making your breakfast I'm going to come for you with a pitchfork." Baekhyun threatens Jongin and from the look in his eyes, it seems like he means it. 
Without a sound, Jongin walks out of his bedroom and makes his way to the kitchen. He finds Kyungsoo bent over the island squeezing out fresh orange juice. He quietly makes his way to his hyung, wraps his arms around his torso, buries his head in between Kyungsoo's shoulder blades and murmurs (loud enough for Kyungsoo to hear) "I love you, hyung."
Kyungsoo hits him on the arm with the same spatula that he had used for the eggs but Jongin stays there (because those little acts of violence and Kyungsoo's way of telling him that he loves him) and Kyungsoo lets him. 

From the doorway to the kitchen Baekhyun quietly watches Kyungsoo smile as Jongin wraps his arms around him- one of those straight from the heart, chest warming, infectious smiles- and Baekhyun can't help but smile too.

The end

P.S.: If you ever want to come scream at me about how much you love KaiSoo too, you can always find me on Twitter