It was dark, so dark, that it was hard to actually see the guy who slept in Sunggyu’s arms. He hated this. He hated holding Woohyun like this. Because his heart wouldn’t calm down whenever he was. But what he hated most, was that this was platonic. Platonic cuddling.

Sunggyu and Woohyun weren’t dating. They’ve been best friends for almost seven years now. It was also just recently, that the younger of the two had broken up with his boyfriend.

Did Sunggyu like Kibum? He did, yes. They were close, before Woohyun was even in the picture. After the two started dating, Kibum introduced them to each other. It took them a while, but eventually they became best friends. Some might say it was because of their differences, but Sunggyu knew. It was because of his crush on Woohyun. The crush, that neither Woohyun nor Kibum could ever know about.

Woohyun didn’t even know that Sunggyu was gay. He couldn’t tell him that. The boy was smart, he would be able to put the pieces together and then not only their friendship, but also his friendship with Kibum would crumble under that.

Sunggyu remembered the day they broke up. He was there with the two of them, in the small café down the street. The two got into a fight that lead to a scene, which lead to their break-up. The oldest of the three of them could still remember Kibum’s last words to Woohyun: “I know that you like him, okay? You’ve been crushing on him ever since you met him!”

And Sunggyu knew whom he meant. Kim Myungsoo, who lived right next to Woohyun. He would always talk about how handsome and cute the younger man was. And Sunggyu had to live with the jealousy and the pain in his heart.

Ever since Woohyun and Kibum parted ways, Woohyun wasn’t able to sleep alone. He always called his hyung over, just so he wouldn’t be alone. Sunggyu didn’t mind, not really. He loved Woohyun. But that was also one of the reasons why he did mind, just a little bit.

But he wasn’t going to change anything between them. This was good, this was enough. Sunggyu kissed Woohyun’s forehead and closed his eyes. Tomorrow was another day that he would wake up in the younger’s arms. That made it worth it.

Sunggyu woke up to Woohyun fidgeting out of his grip. Once the younger noticed, that he has woken up the other man, he smiled apologetic at him. “I’m sorry, hyung. Did I wake you?”

A sigh came from the elder’s lips. “Yeah, but it’s okay. I can’t sleep my life away.”

They ate breakfast together and talked about everything and nothing at the same time. Sunggyu liked this, being like this with Woohyun, having him all for himself. And so, his normal life continued.

When Sunggyu came back to Woohyun’s apartment after work. He found the younger sitting in front of the television, food on the table, just like his feet. Woohyun looked up when he heard someone come in and the smile he gave his guest was warm and made Sunggyu feel all fuzzy on the inside. Myungsoo would be a lucky man.

They watched some uninteresting Dramas when Sunggyu spoke up. “So, how is your love-life going, Nam Woohyun-sshi?”

He could see Woohyun roll his eyes as he slumped down further. “Horribly. Why do only girls find me attractive, this should be illegal.”

Sunggyu snickered. “There are guys who think you’re hot, you just gotta find them. But you do have someone in sight, right?”

Woohyun’s gaze lingered on his hyung for longer than needed, then he turned his attention back to the TV. “Yeah. But that won’t work out. I’m gonna stay single forever.”

The older of the two sighed. “Well, at least then I’ll have my best friend all for myself forever.” Sunggyu snickered while Woohyun shifted on the couch.

“You should find yourself a girl though. You definitely need some action in your life. Ever since I’ve known you, you’ve been single. Just ing your whole life is not healthy,” Woohyun said, as a matter of fact, like it was the most normal thing to talk about with your best friend.

Sunggyu immediately blushed. “What? Shut up, what do you care what I do with my ?”

He heard the younger snicker now. “I do a lot, actually. Find yourself a girlfriend, hyung.”

They lay in bed that night, Woohyun in his arms again, sleeping tight while rest was avoiding Sunggyu. He looked at Woohyun’s beautiful face – how could someone be so handsome and single and gay at the same time? And why did Sunggyu have the worst luck ever? Why did Woohyun not fall for him? Why wasn’t he the one who could make the younger man happy?

Sunggyu fell asleep very late that night. But. Tomorrow was another day that he would wake up in the younger’s arms. That made it worth it.

When Sunggyu woke up the next morning, Woohyun was gone already. Sunggyu heaved himself up and marched into the living room, where his best friend was already waiting for him with a tasty breakfast. Honestly, Woohyun was too good for Sunggyu. And so, his normal life continued.

Sunggyu came back to the apartment at the usual time, maybe a little later, because he had met Myungsoo on the way and Sunggyu took his chance to get to know the younger a little more. Apparently, Myungsoo was gay but already dating another guy named Sungyeol, who lived in the same house, just above his now-boyfriend.

Now it made sense why Woohyun’s love was unrequited. A part of Sunggyu was happy, while another felt sad for Woohyun. He just wanted his best friend happy, no matter how.

That evening the two of them played video games. Woohyun was a lot better than Sunggyu, but that was okay, losing didn’t matter at all, when he was able to see the radiant smile on the younger’s face after each win.

“If you get a girlfriend, make sure she’s good at video games so I can challenge her.”

Sunggyu raised an eyebrow. “Jesus, what is it with you and my love-life? You’re more concerned about it than I am. Leave it be, Woohyun.”

The younger whined at him, a sound that made Sunggyu… excited for some reason… It really shouldn’t, but… “But hyung! You can’t be alone forever! How about I find someone for you?”

“No. I don’t need anyone. I have you.”

Woohyun shut up after that and went back to playing the game. They didn’t talk the rest of the night. They went to sleep on different sides of the bed. They didn’t cuddle. And Sunggyu felt empty.

The next morning Sunggyu woke up before Woohyun did. The awkwardness of the last night was still there, so he grabbed his things and was out the door, before Woohyun could wake up.

And just like this, his normal life… changed.

Sunggyu didn’t go home to Woohyun this evening. He went on a date with a nice girl. She didn’t mean anything to him. She was pretty, yes. She was sweet, yes. But she was a girl. And she wasn’t Woohyun.

When Sunggyu lay down in his bed this night, all alone, his phone started buzzing uncontrollably. Woohyun was asking about the date. Sunggyu ignored him. He felt cold. And lonely. And Woohyun deserved better anyways.

The next time Sunggyu saw Woohyun was, when the younger came into his apartment the next night, smelling like alcohol and tripping over his own feet. Sunggyu let him sleep in his bed, while he himself when to sleep on the couch. In the middle of the night though, he felt someone sliding down beside him, arms encircling around his mid and silent sobs escaping Woohyun’s mouth. Sunggyu didn’t react, keeping his eyes closed while his heart was breaking apart.

He woke up the next morning, alone on the couch, the only thing making sure, that Woohyun has really been here: the smell of alcohol on Sunggyu’s clothes.

Woohyun was making him breakfast and apologizing for being so pissed drunk and asking him to come over again this evening. Sunggyu agreed, even though his heart was screaming and crying.

Sunggyu decided to stay the whole weekend. On Saturday evening, Woohyun asked him again to get a girlfriend or to go on a date. And like that, the elder was done with the girlfriend talk.

“I am gay,” he said, eyes everywhere but on Woohyun.

It was quiet in the room until Woohyun asked, quietly: “Why did you never tell me?”

“I was scared,” Sunggyu answered. The truth. “You know how jealous Kibum can get, I didn’t want to ruin what you had.” A lie. “And after that I was scared on how you would react. It’s something you should tell your best friend.” The truth.

Woohyun closed his eyes and stood up, pacing around the living room. “So, all this time you actually liked guys? Is there even someone you like?” Sunggyu just nodded shortly, his gaze stuck to the ground. “Who is it? I have a right to know.”

That’s when Sunggyu looked up at him. “I do, too. You like Myungsoo, right?”

There were a few seconds of silence before Woohyun spoke again, disbelief in his voice. “What? Wait. You think I like Myungsoo? Kim Myungsoo from next door?” When Sunggyu nodded, Woohyun rolled his eyes. “Hell no. He’s cute and sweet and nice, but… He’s not who had been on my mind for so ing long. Do you know why I broke up with Kibum? Because I was crushing on the same guy for almost nine years.”

Sunggyu just stared. That didn’t make sense. The two of them were dating for so long, was Woohyun saying…? “Did you fall in love with someone else while dating Kibum? Even at the beginning?”

Woohyun sighed as he sat down next to Sunggyu. “It’s his fault, really. He introduced us. And I’ve been crushing on him ever since.” Their eyes met and Sunggyu blushed immediately. Now he was the one who had to pace around. Woohyun continued. “I did love them both. I… loved Kibum, I did. But when I met you… I didn’t intend to fall so hard. But the closer the two of us got, the more I started to ignore Kibum. And he noticed of course. He knew you were the one.”

Everything inside of Sunggyu was a blur of happiness and disbelief. He couldn’t be the one Woohyun liked, he just… couldn’t be. “Kibum wasn't the reason I didn't tell you my uality. I was scared that you might realize my crush on you. Our friendship was so dear to me, still is. Do you remember what a I was to you in the beginning? I’m so sorry, Woohyun. But you were the first guy – the first person I ever saw like this and… and I got scared, I am so sorry.” He hid his face in his hands.

Then he felt gentle fingers brushing his wrists and he felt his hands being pulled away from his face. Woohyun looked at him with the fondest expression Sunggyu had ever seen. “I am sorry, too. I should’ve just told you. I hope we can make this right.”

Sunggyu didn’t even have the chance to reply because suddenly there were lips on his and his whole world crumbled apart. He felt like he was losing control, because this was Woohyun, the one kissing him right now. Nam Woohyun.

When the younger pulled away, he ran his hand through the elder’s hair. “I should’ve known. The way you would hold me and kiss my forehead and everything. Honestly, I had that suspicion. But I was so scared of being wrong, of guessing wrong and losing you.”

“Let’s not do this now. We were both idiots.” Sunggyu said, rolling his eyes. “Wait, does that mean that I finally have a boyfriend?”

Woohyun nodded. “I guess. So, top or bottom?”

Sunggyu blushed and pushed at his shoulders. “What kind of question is that?! We just – Nam Woohyun!”

“You know I’m a bottom, sooo…”

“I hate you so much, leave me alone, I’m going home.”

“You love me.”

Sunggyu glared at him. Why did he always have to be right. “So? You love me, too.”

And then Woohyun showed his most beautiful grin ever. “You’re so right.”

Tomorrow was another day that he would wake up in the younger’s arms. Now every day would be that. And so, his life continued, a little differently than before, but Sunggyu would say that it was better now. Because what was better than making Nam Woohyun happy?

“I gotta take care of your now, it’s probably so sick of your hand.”

“I swear to god, Nam Woohyun—“