Joshua and Jihoon were both in the vocal unit’s practice room waiting for the others to come back from lunch break. These days, the two were often hanging out in the practice room whenever they had a bit of free time. Just talking, playing their instruments, and covering English songs as Jihoon had shown interest in improving his English ever since their trip in LA several weeks ago. Joshua had volunteered to help the vocal unit leader and hence they often hung out together.

After the V-Live broadcast a few weeks back, nothing much had changed aside from the overwhelming requests from the fans for Joshua and Jihoon to cover more songs and do a live broadcast on the V-App. The two would secretly check their group’s official Instagram account to see the comments of fans and find out the songs they were requested to do. They hadn’t planned to do another broadcast but they had been practicing songs that fans have asked them to cover. Today was nothing different. They saw several comments from fans for them to sing another Taylor Swift song called ‘All Too Well.’ The fans who commented this song said it’s from the singer’s ‘Red’ album; the same album where ‘The Last Time’ is included in. The two were unfamiliar with the song and so they decided to look it up. They decided to watch a video of the singer’s live performance of the song at the 56th Grammy Awards a few years back, whilst following the lyrics on another tab that was opened on the laptop.

Nothing much had changed since the V-Live broadcast and they should’ve been happy because things were going according to plan. Joshua and Jihoon had said goodbye. Now they had planned to move on. Everything was finally starting to progress. There was just one problem…

Moving on was harder than they had originally thought.

Joshua and Jihoon didn't know if fate was trying to play with them. Out of the millions of songs that the fans could have requested or the hundreds of songs they could have chosen from the comments, why did it have to be this one?

I walked through the door with you, the air was cold,

But something 'bout it felt like home somehow.

And I left my scarf there at your sister's house,

And you've still got it in your drawer even now.

Even with the vocal team leader’s non-fluency in English, he could still understand the lyrics well enough not to feel anything whilst reading the words. It was at this point Jihoon had silently thank whoever it was that invented music. He might not fully understand the lyrics, but the melody was more than enough for him to grasp the message of the song.

Oh, your sweet disposition and my wide-eyed gaze.

We're singing in the car, getting lost Upstate.

Autumn leaves falling down like pieces into place,

And I can picture it after all these days.

The two watched quietly as Taylor Swift pressed the bars on the piano in the video. The sadness and longingness evident in the singer’s voice matched what they had been feeling. But it was the part just before the chorus of the song, the two felt a strong tug at their heartstrings. Joshua bit his lip. Jihoon kept his stare on the screen.

And I know it's long gone,

And that magic's not here no more,

And I might be okay,

But I'm not fine at all.

If there was one thing though that changed ever since the V-Live broadcast, it was that Seungcheol and Jeonghan were closer than ever.

'Cause there we are again on that little town street.

You almost ran the red 'cause you were looking over at me.

Wind in my hair, I was there, I remember it all too well.

The two eldest in the group spent pretty much all day with each other. From recordings to their dance practices and even before bed, the two were inseparable. It didn’t make things easier for Jihoon as he shared a room with the two eldest. He would always hear their giggles and sweet talks before going to sleep. If that didn’t hurt Jihoon, he didn’t know what did.

Photo album on the counter, your cheeks were turning red.

You used to be a little kid with glasses in a twin sized bed

And your mother's telling stories about you on a tee ball team

You taught me 'bout your past, thinking your future was me.

As for Joshua, he rarely spent time with Jeonghan these days. Yes, they lived together. Yes, they were technically together 24/7. But he felt farther away from Jeonghan more than ever. Was it partly his fault? Maybe. But if distancing himself from the so-called angel of the group was the only solution just to prevent his heart from feeling broken all the time, then he’d gladly take the blame.

And I know it's long gone

And there was nothing else I could do

And I forget about you long enough

To forget why I needed to…

They didn’t want to be selfish but the two of them would be lying if they said it wasn’t difficult. They would be lying if they said it wasn’t hurting them anymore. Because on the inside, Joshua and Jihoon felt like they were being suffocated. Suffocated by these damn feelings that wouldn’t just set them free.

'Cause there we are again in the middle of the night.

We're dancing around the kitchen in the refrigerator light

Down the stairs, I was there, I remember it all too well, yeah.

As Joshua and Jihoon read the lyrics, their brows furrowed and it felt like something was pinching their hearts.

Well, maybe we got lost in translation, maybe I asked for too much,

But maybe this thing was a masterpiece 'til you tore it all up.

Running scared, I was there, I remember it all too well.

Jihoon interrupted the silence that filled the room. A half smiled appeared on his face.

“You know Jisoo hyung, I think we should stop covering Taylor Swift songs.”

It was at this point, when the lyrics of the song really hit Joshua. He chuckled slightly and shook his head. “You know what we should stop doing? Remembering. We should should stop remembering.”

Nothing much had change since that day. And that included Joshua and Jihoon recalling at their forgotten memories with the ones they had once loved. Jihoon looked at the other’s eyes. No explanations were needed. Jihoon knew exactly what his hyung meant.

Hey, you call me up again just to break me like a promise.

So casually cruel in the name of being honest.

I'm a crumpled up piece of paper lying here

'Cause I remember it all, all, all... too well.

When Joshua and Jihoon said to themselves that they were going to move on, that they would step aside their feelings for the happiness of others, they had no idea it would be this excruciating.

Time won't fly, it's like I'm paralyzed by it

I'd like to be my old self again, but I'm still trying to find it

After plaid shirt days and nights when you made me your own

Now you mail back my things and I walk home alone.

But in order for them to move forward, they should stop looking back. They should stop reliving their past with them. Maybe that was what’s holding them back.

But you keep my old scarf from that very first week

'Cause it reminds you of innocence and it smells like me

You can't get rid of it 'cause you remember it all too well, yeah

Because it may hurt to let go. To let go of that someone that meant so much to them. To let go of the memories that were once shared together.

'Cause there we are again, when I loved you so

Back before you lost the one real thing you've ever known

It was rare, I was there, I remember it all too well.

But if there was one thing both Joshua and Jihoon realised these past couple of years, it was that it hurt more to hold on. Hold on to that something that wasn’t there anymore, even if it once was.

Wind in my hair, you were there, you remember it all

Down the stairs, you were there, you remember it all

It was rare, I was there, I remember it all too well.

The song ended with tears in Joshua and Jihoon’s eyes. It was just there. Not falling but welling up. As if had the song continued for another ten seconds, it would be enough to let the tears fall.

“They couldn’t have requested something like Despacito?” Joshua asked the younger. Jihoon stared at the American’s eyes for a few seconds, not saying anything. Then his eyes started to form like crescents and the next thing he knew he was laughing hysterically at his hyung’s joke. Joshua looked at him for a bit not realising what he had just said. But then eventually joined Jihoon and the two continued laughing for several seconds until Joshua noticed Jihoon wasn’t just laughing anymore.

The American saw the tears that were flowing from Jihoon’s eyes as he slowed down his laughing. The smiles and laughs gradually turned into quiet sobs. The older’s eyes started to water at the scene in front of him and he couldn’t helped but wrap his arms He knew Jihoon hated skinship but screw it. Joshua hugged the younger, shushing him until he had calmed down.

Jihoon let himself be hugged and buried his wet face onto the older’s chest. It felt good to let it out. But it felt even better to know someone was there to support him. He looked up at Joshua once had had calmed down a bit.

“Thank you hyung,” Jihoon said while the tears still kept rolling.

“We’re in this together,” was the older’s reply while looking down at the vocal team’s leader. Jihoon stared back, eyes still glossy.

Neither Joshua nor Jihoon knew how it had happened or who had initiated it. But the next thing the older knew, his lips were pressed gently on Jihoon’s. They should’ve backed away from each other. But they didn’t. Instead, the younger moved his lips in order to feel more of his hyung’s lips and Joshua had done the same.

After a few seconds, they pulled away. Joshua wiped Jihoon’s tear stained cheeks with his thumbs, to which Jihoon smiled at. No one said a word to each other.

If you asked Joshua and Jihoon if they were tired of loving. They would say no. Because people do not get tired of loving. No one got tired of loving. They were tired, yes they were. But they were just tired of waiting, assuming, hearing the same apologies over and over again. And most of all, they were tired of hurting.

But as they stayed in that position, in each other’s arms with content smiles on their faces, Joshua and Jihoon somehow got the feeling that maybe, just maybe what they were going through right now would be worth it. Because they had each other, and it felt like something was telling them that they wouldn’t have to feel tired and hurt for much longer.

Unknown to Joshua and Jihoon’s knowledge though, one of their members had seen what happened in the practice room as he was returning from lunch. His forehead and brows furrowed, and something felt heavy in his heart as he witnessed the American and the vocal team leader share a gentle kiss.

The End.

~ ~ ~

AUTHOR’S NOTE: I’m sorry if that was not what you were expecting. I had planned this to be angsty from the very beginning with just a tiny bit of hopeful feeling towards the end.

Also, just who was that member who saw them kiss? ;)

Sorry it took a while for this but I was waiting for the DE Concert cause I was expecting a lot of JeongCheol moments (and I was right! :P). Anyways, I thought it would help with the angst I was hoping for in this story hahaha.

I hope you liked it nonetheless.

AND ALWAYS REMEMBER to respect all ships in real life. Fanfictions are only fictions. My fanfics are just the works of my imagination. They do not reflect what is actually happening behind the scenes when the cameras are not rolling. :)

PS. I’m excited for EXO to come back! OMG YOU GUYS HAVE NO IDEA. I hope it’s not just EXO-Ls who will support my EXO babies on their comeback. <3

Until next time,

Adorkable Jisoo ~